North London Derby, MLS Returns, Altidore Heroics, Giggs Gives Us Another Year

Well, February is gone. We hardly knew you. And that means Major League Soccer is back, bitches! We got a lot of stories to check out prior to kick-off. Freddie Adu in Philly? Landon Donovan in Cambodia? Carlos Ruiz in D.C.? No Montero in Seattle? Ryan Nelson in Toronto? Yes, these are but a few of the stories that deserve some attention. Commish Don Garber claims MLS is the Seventh Best-Supported League...in the entire World. That's some heavy shit, Don. Click on that link and you'll see some previews for each conference. And here are some power rankings.

Wait! It's Friday? And MLS is back? FRIDAY MLS FORECAST!!

Forecast!

There's a rather large match looming on the horizon over in London. North London, to be precise. Yes, it's only 4.1 miles (that's 6.1302654501 kilometres) from the Emirates to White Hart Lane, and that proximity breeds some contempt, you could say. Tottenham host Arsenal in a very critical North London Derby at 11am EST on Fox Soccer Channel. Here, former players such as Ian Wright, Gary Mabbutt, Alan Smith, and Martin Chivers share some memories. Speaking of Alan Smith, he's got a nice piece on how the teams compare ahead of the big match. 

And here's all you need for the weekend (and beyond) in the EPL:

Preview

Lawro's and Piers Morgan's (wanker) Predictions

Paul Merson's Predictions

Ten Things To Look Out For

Michael Cox has 11 Points with 11 Rounds to Go

Let's check in with some other top leagues. Spain. Oh, how about that? Real Madrid and Barcelona play yet again! Shocking. It's tomorrow at 10am EST on beIN Sport USA.

Italy. There are some good ones. Juventus at Napoli (this afternoon at 2:45pm EST on beIN Sport USA) and AC Milan vs. Lazio, for example. 

Ryan Giggs is 39 years old. He just signed a one-year deal. Very, very impressive. Hats off. He is indeed older, greyer, but ever excellent.

Emirates to White Hart Lane

Hats off as well to Jozy Altidore. The young American continues to kick-ass in Holland. He scored twice in Alkmaar's 3-0 win over Ajax. With said goals he has tied Clint Dempsey's record for goals scored by an American in a foreign league. One of his goals was pretty tite. Check it.

We'll finish with Karim Benzema. He was caught driving his car at 134 miles per hour. That's fast.

Right. Enjoy that weekend.

Onward!!

-SSN

It's All Very Quiet Today

So we'll be back tomorrow...

Real Madrid Defeat Barcelona, Worst Tackle Ever?, Grant Wahl's MLS Player Survey, Everton Advance, Americans Abroad, Boro vs. Chelsea, Tim Vickery on Boca Juniors

Another epic episode of El Clásico went down last night and Madrid emerged 1-3 winners in Barcelona. As you might expect, Ronaldo figured prominently with two goals for The Whites. Meanwhile, Messi (as he did in Milan) went missing. Perhaps he had a fever?

Sid Lowe was there (of course he was!) and thinks that Barca may have lost more than the Copa del Rey with this performance. Mainly, identity, supremacy, fitness, and confidence.

The best moment of the match (from a neutral's perspective) came when Di Maria completely destroyed Puyol with a little shimmy and left the Barcelona Hair Farm doing his best Dominique Dawes imitation.  Di Maria's shot was saved, but Ronny calmly slotted home the rebound to make it 0-2.

Here are Six Things We Learned from the match.

Grant Wahl's been speaking with MLS players. He's been asking them questions. Questions like, "If you were starting a team from scratch and could pick one MLS player to start with, who would it be?" Surprisingly, even though he's retired, Coby Jones got the most votes. Uh. No.

Americans Abroad. Brek Shea made his debut for Stoke City at Fulham on Saturday. It was the early match on ESPN2, and, well, we were up early so watched the whole damn thing. He was decent. Not great, not terrible. He won a penalty that Jonathan Walters (twat) wasted, but that was about it. Here's a look at all the rest of the guys playing in other countries. Looks like things went quite poorly for Maurice Edu over in Turkey.

There was some FA Cup action yesterday. As expected, Everton defeated Oldham in their fifth-round replay at Goodison Park to advance. Andy Hunter took in the action in Liverpool. In tonight's match, Chelsea travel up to Middlesbrough in the final fifth-round clash of the competition at the Riverside.

Dennis Bergkamp is getting a statue. He deserves it. Mario Balotelli does not deserve a statue. But he'll get one anyway. By commissioning it himself.

Is this the worst tackle ever? It's pretty damn poor.


Let's conclude with Tim Vickery in Brazil. He's talking about a team in neighboring Argentina. Boca Juniors, to be precise. 

Onward!!

-SSN

More Bale Magic, Do Or Die For Real Madrid, Tim Cahill in New Jersey, Slides at St. James' Park, Pitiful Racist Fines

Oi! Loads to get through today. We'll begin with yesterday's fantastic edition of Monday Night Football...

Holy Moses! Gareth Bale is en fuego. He pretty much took care of West Ham on his own yesterday, leading his Spurs to a 2-3 win at Upton Park. His free kicks weren't up to their usual standards but The Hammers allowed the new Welsh Wizard plenty of time on his left foot to knock in two glorious strikes. Scott Parker reckons Bale has "deflated" Arsenal ahead of Sunday's mega-clash. Some of the SSN staffers who are Arsenal fans were certainly deflated. Jonathan Wilson says André Villas-Boas has changed Spurs' shape and the system has allowed the winger to take flight with startling results. Startling results, indeed. Here's a match report. And here's the winner:


Now that all of this round's action is complete, let's take a look at the table. As noted in the reports above, Spurs jumped above Chelsea into third. United remain comfortable at the top, while a gap has now opened between fifth and sixth after Everton's loss. QPR looked doomed, which means 'Arry will leave to ruin yet another club, and Villa have work to do to get out of trouble.

On to Spain. We're graced with two (count 'em) two columns from Sid Lowe today. The first is his usual weekend round-up, whilst the second is a closer look at the upcoming grind for Real Madrid. The Special One's boys face Barcelona away in the Copa del Rey semi-final second leg at Camp Nou this evening, having drawn 1-1 in the first; on Saturday they play Barcelona again in La Liga at home and next Tuesday they travel to Manchester United in the Champions League, again having drawn 1-1 at home in the first leg. Yikes!

Speaking of Barcelona, Phil Ball was down there at the weekend and filed this report.

Honigstein? Yeah, we got him. Bayern Munich are running away with the Bundesliga but their rivalry with Borussia Dortmund remains completely compelling. The two sides clash in the German Cup morgen.

The Houston Dynamo have new jerseys. Didn't expect that jump, did you? Anyway, this writer is rather upset about it. We've done an informal poll around SSN HQ and we like them. So there.

Sticking with the USA, Tim Cahill is here. Yes, the boxing midfielder left lovely Liverpool for Harrison, New Jersey. New Jersey! Tom Dart had a chat with the former Everton star. Speaking of Everton, they've got a tricky Cup tie tonight against Oldham. Preview, please.

Governor Patterson was shocked by Cahill's move...

Granted, it's Tuesday, but we enjoy Marcotti's Monday Musings, so we're willing to back it up a bit. This week Gabby is talking Milan Derby, Beckham's PSG debut, and Mancini's mentality.

This headline from the Daily Mail sums it up: The price of racism? Inter fined just £43,000 after fans subject Balotelli to monkey chants and wave inflatable bananas... and Mario is charged £8,500 for reacting! 

Slides at St. James' Park? What a novel idea. We like it. "Travel Accelerators." Very cool.

Right. That's your lot. Off you go.

Onward!!

-SSN

Swansea Win Cup, Honors Even in Milan With Racial Abuse For Balotelli, City Defeat Chelsea, West Ham vs. Tottenham

The first Cup of the campaign was delivered to Swansea City yesterday. Bradford were simply out of gas and out of ideas for this one. Propers to Laudrup and Swansea -- they've got a lot of quality in that side and they play attractive, attacking football. Andy Hunter was at Wembley. As was Phil McNulty.

An Inter fan shows his class...

We're going to break with tradition today and go straight to Paolo Bandini in Italy. The Milan Derby took place yesterday and ended 1-1. Balotelli got the expected abuse, but Paolo says the racial angles were taken only by a few in the crowd. Cassano got his fair share of abuse. Zanetti continued to turn back time (we love that guy). Mega-Mohawk Man El Shaaraway scored for Milan while Inter substitute Schelotto got his team's goal. Elsewhere in Italy, Michael Bradley's Roma won again, this time in the snow up in Bergamo.

Yank Abroad Michael Bradley enjoys the snow...

Back in England, Manchester City knocked off Chelsea at home (Hart saved a Lampard penalty and Jack Rodwell was surprisingly effective), Manchester United continued their march to the title with a win at QPR, Norwich edged Everton, Santi saved Arsenal, and a Berbatov rocket coupled with a Schwartzer penalty save gave Fulham a win at Craven Cottage. Here are some lovely links:

Weekend Review

Manchester City 2 - 0 Chelsea

Richard Jolly at the Etihad Stadium

Mark Ogden at the Etihad Stadium

Norwich City 2 - 1 Everton

Arindan Rej at Carrow Road

Queens Park Rangers 0 - 2 Manchester United

John Brewin at Loftus Road

Newcastle 4 - 2 Southampton

Louise Taylor at St. James' Park

Premier League and League Cup final: 10 talking points from the weekend

Jeff Carlisle wants to talk about Landon Donovan. You're right, Jeff. Donovan does still owe us something. Have at it, Jeff.

There is some Monday Night Football this evening and it's a doozy. West Ham host Tottenham. Will Gareth Bale continue to score and make weird signs with his fingers? Will Sam Allardyce chew his gum so hard he breaks his ugly jaw? Will AVB squat? Will Andy Carroll do, well, anything? Check it at 3pm EST on ESPN2.

Meanwhile, Martin Samuel wants to talk Barcelona and Arsenal. Apparently, even when it goes wrong, both clubs still feed the soul. Ok, then.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Feyenoord and PSV Eindhoven players get it on!

We out!

Onward!!

-SSN

Europa League Drama, Weekend Previews, Milan Derby, Di Canio's Midnight Raid,

A Good Friday To You!

Well, that other European competition served up some nice action yesterday. Tottenham, Newcastle, and Chelsea barely advanced. Liverpool barely did not. Holders Atlético Madrid crashed out after their win at Rubin Kazan wasn't enough. Inter Milan made the final 16 where they will face Spurs in a glamor tie of sorts. And those guys at Viktoria Plzen beat Napoli again! Here's a wrap of all the matches.

The What's in Your Wallet Cup Final is on Sunday. It's Bradford City vs. Swansea City at Wembley. Sky Sports was kind enough to provide us with this "exhaustive" preview ahead of the clash. We're confident that none of our SSN regulars hold either club terribly close to their heart, but it could be a very entertaining contest. It's available on beIN Sport USA at 11am EST.

Sticking with the League Cup, The Joy of Six is League Cup Goals, including this cracker from Savo Milosevic (remember him?).

We've got another big match at the San Siro this weekend. Right on the heels of their victory over Barcelona, Milan must face Inter in the on Sunday in the Derby della Madonnina. If you've got RAI or beIN Sport en Español you can check it at 2:45pm EST. If you don't, look for stream. You've got to think it's a great chance for Inter to claim the spoils after Milan's massive win on Wednesday. Here are FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS and here is a preview of all the Serie A fixtures.

Barcelona will attempt to pick themselves up and brush themselves off at home against Sevilla. Here's a look at the weekend stuff in Spain. And, as always, Eduardo Alvarez has his Quiniela. Gracias, Eduardo.

So that brings us back to England. Manchester City vs. Chelsea is the big match of the weekend. Monday has a nice London Derby with Tottenham heading down to West Ham, but that's Monday. Here's a preview. Here are 10 Things to Look Out For. Here are Lawro's Predictions. Here are Paul Merson's Predictions. And...here is the current table!

Raphael Honigstein is in Germany where everyone is talking about an American named Jermaine Jones. Hit it, Rafa.

There have been a lot of chumps in English football that we've hated over the years. David Bentley comes to mind. Alan Smith. Lee Bowyer. Stan Collymore. Craig Bellamy. David Dunn. John Terry. Stuart Pearce. Robbie Fowler. Wayne Rooney. Dennis Wise. Ashley Cole. Robbie Savage. The list goes on. Certainly Stephen Ireland deserves to be on that list. Here's further proof.

We'll finish with that crazy Italian, Paolo Di Canio. Here's the latest on his midnight raid of his old office.

Enjoy your weekend!

Onward!!

-SSN

Barcelona Lose An Important Match, American Abroad Jones Scores For Schalke, Tottenham Fans Attacked, Gold Cup Venues

Holy Shit! Milan defeated Barcelona at San Siro yesterday. The first goal benefitted heavily from a handball that wasn't called and was followed be an excellent finish. The second came after a lovely round of keep-y-uppy that culminated in a lovely strike from former Portsmouth star Sulley Muntari. We also think the bizarre sanitary napkin that Barca's medical staff decided to use on Carlos Puyol's forehead wound had something to do with his poor defending for both goals. All of that aside, Milan had the better of the match. For some reason, Barcelona didn't press like usual when Milan had possession. The Italian side had unexpected time on the ball and took advantage. Perhaps the most striking aspect of the game was the play of the best player in the world. For the first time in a long time, he went missing. Completely missing. It was like he wasn't even on the pitch. Most odd.

There's a napkin on my head, damnit!

It was a fun match to watch, with the exception of those God-awful Barcelona kits. The popsicles we used to get in the summer at 7-11 looked similar. As you might expect, the Spanish press is all over it.

As we hoped, Sid Lowe was up in Milan and filed this report. Oliver Brown was there as well. You want a tactical review? Hit it.

In the night's other match, Shalke and Galatasary drew in Istanbul. Apparently, Schalke plan to contest the result because they don't think Drogba should have been allowed to play. Sour grapes aside, the Germans return to Gelsenkirchen with a priceless away goal thanks to...wait for it...Yank Abroad Jermaine Jones! And we're a but late here, but get your complete Americans Abroad on, if you wish.

Now that the Champions League is done for the moment we can focus on its little brother, the Europa League. Spurs are in France to face Lyon and some of their fans got a rough welcome. 50 versus three? Not the best odds. Apparently there were some anti-semitic aspects to the attack, so...awesome. Here's a preview of all of today's action on the pitch.

Back to Tottenham's neighbors up in North London. Phil McNulty looks at the big decisions facing Arsenal. Because, let's face it: No team can replace top-class, in some cases world-class, players with inferior models and get away with it for long.

The venues for this summer's Gold Cup have been announced. Hopefully one is in your neck of the woods.

Let's finish with the dance party led by Balotelli and Robinho at the San Siro last night. That embarrassed looking woman is Super Mario's girlfriend, Fanny Nequesha.



Onward!!

-SSN

Rooney's Motorcycle, Arsenal and Bayern, Milan and Barca, Fiorentina's Jovetic, Best Stadium in Europe?

Off we go with the Champions League where Bayern Munich had little trouble brushing aside an inept and grossly inferior Arsenal side at the Emirates. Gabby Marcotti reckons Bayern are the only team good enough to possibly knock Barcelona off their perch. We're not sure about that, but they are pretty damn strong. Not that Arsenal offered much resistance. Mertesacker and Cazorla in particular had nights to forget. The German press certainly loved the result. How about some reports?

Phil McNulty at the Emirates Stadium

Barney Ronay at the Emirates Stadium

Henry Winter at the Emirates Stadium

Daniel Taylor at the Emirates Stadium

In the day's other match, Porto defeated Malaga 1-0.

AC Milan play today, so...you know...

Right. So, today we've got AC Milan vs. Barcelona. Not too shabby. Here's a preview. Here's another. Barcelona's manager is still in NYC getting treatment after his recent throat cancer operation, but Andy West explains that they are in good hands regardless. And look at this: every single Eurosport dude in Europe thinks Barcelona will advance. Way to go out on a limb, guys.

As has been the rule this year in the Champions League, the other match of the day isn't so hot. It's Galatasaray vs. Schalke. Drogba will play, we think. So, that's interesting.

Fiorentina. La Viola. They've got a hell of a player in one Stevan Jovetic. He's from Montenegro, which is a beautiful country, we're told. Beaches like Croatia but cheaper and less touristy. But, we digress. Michael Cox wants to talk Jovetic Tactics.

We all know Wayne Rooney has class, right? HAH! Sorry. Hmmm. Yeah, so the fake-haired one has designed a motorcycle and thanks to his personal touch the value of the bike dropped by £15,000. 

Let's finish with a discussion on The Greatest Stadium in Europe. Craven Cottage makes the list! San Siro? Bernabeu? Camp Nou? Cast your vote.

Onward!!

-SSN

Champions League, Scribes, Goal Line Technology, Di Canio

Right! So, Manchester United deservedly defeated Reading in the FA Cup yesterday. Reading made it a bit nervy with a late goal but the Red Devils held on to progress. Mark Ogden was at Old Trafford.

FIFA. Not really our favorite organization. Lots of wealthy, conniving, dishonest, sexist, racist, homophobic old men. Well, they finally got something right. There will be goal line technology at the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. No more ghost goals. We hope.

FIFA

The Champions League is back today. On tap is Arsenal vs. Bayern Munich and Porto vs. Malaga. Similar to last week, it's one big match that everyone will be watching and one, well, not so much. Everyone wants to talk about Arsenal, especially after their limp effort against Blackburn on Saturday and Wenger's freakout press conference yesterday. Stewart Robson thinks Arsene is to blame for the empty trophy case. Henry Winter says Arsenal need a new hero like Vieira. Does anyone want to talk about Bayern? Yes, David Hytner does. Thank you, David. Here's a match preview. And Michael Cox talks tactics.

Phil Ball in Spain. Sid Lowe in Spain. Paolo Bandini in Italy. Raphael Honigstein in Germany.

Paolo Di Canio has stepped down as manager at Swindon Town. Here's a look at his tenure.

That's going to do it for today.

Onward!!

-SSN

The Fifth Official, Blackburn Beat Arsenal, Landon Donovan, Hamsik Robbed Again, Robbie Roberts is Gay, Ronaldinho is a Cheeky Bastard

Happy Monday, y'all. We'll begin with the Fifth Official. As we all know, his/her favorite pastime is bashing the Gunners and there's plenty of material with which to work. Losing at home to Blackburn in the FA Cup after the League Cup debacle with Bradford isn't sitting pretty with Arsenal fans. Arsenal now join the likes of Liverpool, Tottenham, Norwich, QPR, Aston Villa, Sunderland, and Newcastle. All were knocked out of the FA Cup by teams from lower divisions.

Sticking with the Cup, Man City had little trouble with Leeds, Oldham scored late to draw with Everton, Chelsea ended Brentford's dreams, and Wigan walked all over Huddersfield.

Dominic Fifield was at the Emirates and Martin Keown called the defeat a "smack in the face." Richard Jolly was at the Eithad Stadium and Daniel Taylor was at Boundary Park.

Here are Ten Talking Points. Here's a Team of the Weekend. Here's a Little Wrap.

The draw for the next round means that if Manchester United defeat Reading this afternoon (3pm EST on FSC) then the Reds will face Chelsea in the Quarterfinals. Call us crazy, but we're going to put it all on the line right here and now and say that the Reds will face Chelsea in the Quarterfinals.

There was one match in the Premier League this weekend. Michael Laudrup rested several starters and paid the price handsomely as Liverpool crushed Swansea City 5-0 at Anfield. It's really not a bad piece of business for Swansea, though.  As embarrassing the defeat may have been, they'll be fully rested for the League Cup final against Bradford. You've got to prioritize silverware if you've got the chance to get it. Andy Hunter took in the action in Liverpool.

The Photo

Landon Donovan is in the news! That means we get to use The Photo. Enjoy. Why is he in the news? Because he says he'll return to the Galaxy next month and continue playing soccer. The news is so exciting it prompted a Monday MLS Breakdown. How exciting. Not as exciting as The Photo, though.

Back to Europe. Let's start in Spain where Messi scored again. And again. Is there really any point anymore? It's Groundhog Day all over again. The two this weekend were his 300th and 301st for Barca. Real Madrid overcame a Ramos red in the 18th minute to when and their neighbors Atletico won at Valladolid. Here's your review.

Over in Italia, the Serie A race became more intriguing thanks to one Francisco Totti. The Roman Icon's goal was enough to defeat leaders Juventus. Napoli could only draw but the gap at the top is down to four. Elsewhere, Fiorentina crushed Inter Milan, Mario is suddenly super again for AC Milan, and Siena and Lazio play tonight. Here's your review. Sticking in Italy for a moment, Napoli's Marek Hamsik was robbed at gunpoint after his side's draw in Naples. Sounds like it was pretty scary stuff.

Back in the USA, Robbie Roberts announced he's gay. The former Columbus Crew standout also announced his retirement from the sport at the age of 25. Roberts has struggled with his situation for his entire career. Hopefully he can now find some peace. Grant Wahl reports. And here's a nice piece from http://theshinguardian.com/

Ronaldinho? That cheeky bastard. The geri-curled one grabbed some water from the opposing keeper, received a long throw, and made the assist on a goal. It's all legal. And pretty genius.



We'll return to Arsenal to end our Monday. Arsenal have gone 2,830 days without a trophy. Since then, 25 departing players have won 73 medals! Oh, the humanity! Of course, some of those illustrious trophies include Frank Simek's Football League Trophy with Carlisle United, Stephen O'Donnell's League of Ireland trophy with Shamrock Rovers, and Jose Antonio Reyes' League Cup with Benfica. Here are all the stats.

Right. Off you go.

Onward!!

-SSN

Bale Magic, Liverpool Loss, Gus Johnson, FA Cup Previews, Giving Up Football to Have More Sex, Quiniela

That Gareth Bale. He really is something. He's the biggest thing since sliced bread. Two lovely free-kicks by the Welsh Wizard gave Spurs a win in their Europa League match at The Lane against Lyon. Liverpool were not so lucky. Their miserable week continued with a loss up in St. Petersburg. Hulk scored one and Semak got the other as the hosts won 2-0. Andy Hunter was at Petrovsky Stadium. Thankfully, there were no reports of racism.

Newcastle are still alive in Europe, but things didn't go so well for them yesterday either. They had two goals incorrectly disallowed (one wasn't even close) for offside and their match at St. James' Park against Metalist finished scoreless. Let's see. What else? Chelsea won on the road, Inter Milan won, and Victoria Plzen shocked Napoli 0-3. Here's complete review all the action.



It is Friday (yes!) so we've got The Joy of Six. Today's edition is a bit odd. It's Peculiar Reasons to Give Up Football. Who said this:  "I have given up football for sex," he said. "I wouldn't sign for another club even if they gave me £10m, but it would be different if they were to offer me 15 different women from across the world. I would tell the club chairman: 'Please let me make these women happy – I will satisfy them like they have never been satisfied.' Nowadays, every time I think about football I feel like throwing up."  ??

Right. Enough of that. Sid Lowe is still thinking about Wednesday's match in Madrid. Here are his thoughts. Per usual from Sid, they are interesting thoughts. Speaking of the match on Wednesday, we didn't really comment on Gus Johnson's performance. We will now. We didn't like it. It was everything we feared. Too melodramatic, too much hyperbole, too loud. When he didn't talk, we enjoyed it. Add Warren Barton to the mix and you've got a disgusting cocktail on your hands. Toss it and get a beer. Hopefully this "experiment" won't last too long. Let's just say we're looking forward to the FA Cup this weekend. Unless David Pleat is on the mic, that is...

So, the FA Cup. The storied competition. A headline: Chelsea playing catch-up; Man City face Leeds; Luton host Lions. A preview. It's primarily fifth-round matches but Chelsea do have a fourth-round replay against League One's Brentford. Lawro's got some predictions.

David Beckham is in Paris. David Beckham is living fat.

Eduardo Alvarez knows what's up in La Liga. He's got his Quiniela in case you want to place some bets on the matches in Spain. As we reported earlier in the week, the race for the title is over, but there is plenty to battle for in terms of European spots. Check it.

The fixture list in Serie A is far more exciting. Michael Bradley's Roma host leaders Juventus whiel Fiorentina welcome Inter Milan to Florence. Here's a preview. Can't wait until tomorrow to get your live footy fix? You can watch AC Milan vs. Parma this afternoon at 2:45pm EST on beIN Sport USA.

Roberto Mancini says we just don't understand. Oh, we understand, all right. You will not retain the title with that group of mercenaries.

We'll finish on a sad note with a return to the FA Cup. In 1985, Luton and Millwall played (as they will tomorrow) and a riot ensued. It most likely prevented England from hosting Euro '88.


Off you go. Enjoy the weekend.

Onward!!

-SSN

Madrid and United in Exciting Draw, Europa League, Tim Vickery in Brazil, Football Weekly Extra

Get a room...

Well, that was quite entertaining. Real Madrid had the better run of play, but United certainly had their chances and in the end a 1-1 draw seemed pretty darn fair. There were also some glaring non-calls. Once, Phil Jones totally steamrolled some Madrid dude in the box. Then, Danny Wellbeck was obviously held when he was about to explode in on goal. No calls for either of them. Man of the Match? We'd vote for David de Gea. The Madrid native played like all of his family were in the stands watching. He was simply outstanding. There are obviously loads of reports and opinion pieces. We'll just make a list:

Henry Winter at Estadio Santiago Bernabéu

Phil McNulty at Estadio Santiago Bernabéu

Daniel Taylor at Estadio Santiago Bernabéu

Sid Lowe on the Spanish Press Reaction

Talking Points

Player Ratings

There actually was another Champions League match yesterday out in Ukraine. Shakhtar Donetsk and Borussia Dortmund drew 2-2. Uhh, we didn't watch that one but apparently there was some pretty sweet action. Like this lovely number from Douglas Costa.

Chelsea enjoy Prague...

There's more action in Europe today. The Europa League is back in action. Liverpool have to go to St. Petersburg and all the talk is over fears of racially motivated insanity. They are the The Most Racist Club, you know.

Elsewhere, Tottenham and Chelsea are in action, along with a slew of other top clubs like Napoli, Inter, Atletico Madrid, Newcastle. Well, maybe Newcastle shouldn't be included in that group.

Speaking of Inter Milan, James Horncastle wants us to know about their new man: Mateo Kovacic.

Football Weekly Extra! Yes! Here: It's Valentine's Day, so James Richardson has Pedro Pinto, James Horncastle and Tom Lutz making up an extra sexy line-up of pundits and putting the 'ooh' and indeed 'ahh' into this this edition of Football Weekly Extra. We start with the fun and frolics in the Bernabéu, where Manchester United's away goal surely gives them the edge over Real Madrid ahead of the second leg in a fortnight's time. Sid Lowe gives his view, before heading off for some quality time with his laptop. (Note to Sid: this is music like it used to be). Next, we welcome Iain Macintosh to the pod for the first time as he analyses Borussia Dortmund's draw with Shakhtar Donestk, before we mop up all that business with PSG and Valencia and Celtic's chastening by Juventus. Still, at least they can concentrate on the league now. Finally, we finish off by summoning all the enthusiasm we can for a less-than-glamorous looking bunch of fixtures for the fifth round of the FA Cup. But, on this day in particular, remember that it's not looks that count.

Finally, Tim Vickery is in Brazil talking about their big tournament: Copa Libertadores.

That looks to be it for today. Dig it.

Onward!!

-SSN

Phil Ball in Spain, Champions League, Gazza Trouble, Millwall Racist Arrested, More Americans Abroad

Yesterday we posted the gross video from the Millwall/Leeds match that featured plenty of racist language aimed at Leeds' El Hadji Diouf. At least some good has happened thanks to that Sky Sport report. One of the assholes has been arrested.

Moving on to lighter fare. It's time to catch up with Phil Ball. He's still bouncing about Spain, checking out venues that are new to him. And us. This week he reports on his journey to Zaragoza and the Romareda. This time, Phil makes a big mistake: Estas provocando, cabrón! (You're provoking us, b*****d!) he informs me, purple-faced with rage. Si aplaudes otra vez, te mato! (If you applaud again, I'll kill you!) he adds, jabbing his finger at my nose.

OK, so maybe that wasn't much lighter...

Champions League! Yesterday, the darlings at Celtic tried admirably to hold their own against Juventus but ultimately failed. They went down at home 0-3 so surely their time in the big time is over for now. Ewan Murray was at Celtic Park. In the other match, Ibra saw red (idiot!) but PSG won on the road 1-2 so they look set to advance as well. Here's a look back at yesterday's action.

Today's big match? Why, it's Shakhtar Donetsk vs. Borussia Dortmund. Hah! So funny. We're all laughing out loud over here at SSN Headquarters.

No, it's obviously Real Madrid vs. Manchester United. It's also Gus Johnson's maiden voyage. We are very curious to see how it plays. Sid Lowe is focusing on United's Spanish keeper De Gea and his audition at the Bernabéu. Everyone wants to talk about Ferguson & Mourinho and their upcoming battle. And their "friendship." And by everyone we mean Phil McNulty and Marina Hyde.

Here's a preview. And another. Both matches get going at 2:45pm EST. The action from Madrid is on Fox Soccer Channel and the action from Ukraine on Fox Soccer plus. Here's even more hype.

Right! How about another look at Americans Abroad? This one includes DeMarcus Beasley's heroics over the weekend in Mexico. The Indiana native notched two for Puebla.

Paul Gascoigne is struggling again. The legend is now in rehab in Arizona, apparently. Things have not been going well. According to someone, he was downing two litres of gin and 15 cans of Stella a day, along with shooting cocaine. Here's a sad video and all the sordid info.

Well, that's going to do it for today. We're going to try to get away to see how Real Madrid, Manchester United, and Gus Johnson perform later. We hope you can, too.

Onward!!

-SSN

Champions League Returns, Americans Abroad, Liverpool Lose, Sky Sports Racism Report

Man. What a night and what a morning. The office is in chaos, and we're way behind on everything. He's the scoop. The Champions League is back. Today we're got Celtic vs. Juventus and Valencia vs. Paris St. Germain. Here's a preview of how it all looks. Per usual, matches begin at 2:45pm EST. Celtic/Juve is on FSC and Valencia/PSG is on FSPlus. Let's get it on!

Sid Lowe is in Madrid waiting eagerly for the Real/Manchester United match that'll have the world watching tomorrow afternoon. He's talking The Special One and what it would mean for him to win another European title.

Wait! Is the balance of power shifting in Europe?

Yanks Abroad. It's been awhile. Here's what the big names are doing in Europe at the moment.

Liverpool and West Brom played last night. Liverpool had loads and loads of chances. And they lost 0-2 at Anfield. Suarez had a nice dive to win a penalty but Stevie G failed to convert. We were discussing this at SSN Headquarters yesterday. There has to be something in the back of a player's head as he steps up to take the penalty knowing that it was undeserved. It seems like the ones that are saved are often the ones that never should have been given. Just a thought. Chris Bascombe was at Anfield and filed this report.

We don't like Samir Nasri.

But that's nothing compared what we think of these morons: 

And that's your sad lot for this Tuesday. Enjoy the matches later...

Onward!!

-SSN

Inter's Turn For Racism, Nigeria Top In Africa, League Titles Decided in England, Spain, Germany, Monday Night Football

Off we go with a new week and we always enjoy doing so with The Fifth Official. He/she is a complete prick but therein lies the fun.

Off to Italy now where Inter Milan fans joined the fun yesterday by singing racially abusive songs directed at Mario Balotelli. And he wasn't even there. Inter were playing Chievo but since their former striker has returned to his homeland to ply his trade, some of the Nerazzurri decided it was time to have a go. Fuck. You.

In nicer news, Nigeria won the African Cup of Nations on Sunday thanks to this goal from Sunday:



Jonathan Wilson reviews all the action from the final in South Africa in this report. He also takes a look at Nigeria's coach and offers us his Team of the Tournament.

Title races. Well, we basically have to go to Serie A to find one that's still in the balance. Manchester United most likely wrapped up the race in the EPL with their win over Everton yesterday. Actually, it wasn't so much their win, but Manchester City's pathetic showing against Southampton on Saturday. The Blues were simply dreadful. The icing on the cake of a horrific performance was Gareth Barry's calm and composed finish. Past his own keeper. Yikes! United won't let this one slip. Certainly not two years in a row. That's done. Phil McNulty is sure of it.

Meanwhile, in Spain, Barcelona's 6-1 smashing of Getafe coupled with Atlético Madrid's loss to Rayo Vallecano means the gap is now 12 in La Liga. (Meanwhile, Real Madrid slammed Sevilla). That's done.

And up in Germany, Borussia Dortmund were hammered at home by Hamburg (1-4) while Bayern Munich swatted Schalke away (4-0) to increase the gap at the top to 14 points. That's done.

In Italy, Juventus beat Fiorentina (2-0) and Napoli could only draw at Lazio (1-1) so that gap is now five. Not insurmountable, be any means.

It's all about the races for European spots, now!

Back to England. Here are some goodies:

10 Talking Points

Tottenham 2 - 1 Newcastle

Kevin Palmer at White Hart Lane

Manchester United 2 - 0 Everton

Andy Hunter at Old Trafford

Sunderland 0 - 1 Arsenal

Luke Edwards at the Stadium of Light

There's more action in the EPL tonight as Liverpool host West Brom. Here's your preview.

And let's terminate today's talk with some Monday musings from Marcotti...

Onward!!

-SSN

Rooney & RVP, ACN, Previews, The Joy of Six, Everton, Lawro vs. Hulk Hogan

Barney Ronay is a great writer. One of our favorites. Today, he's got a column on Wayne Rooney and Robin van Persie. Here's his lead: Manchester United pair stand near each other and score goals for the same team, but each carries a distinct, individual threat. Yes. Yes, they do. And it looks like they'll bring the trophy back to Old Trafford this season.

Can Everton really make the top four in the Premier League? They currently sit fifth. Tactician Expert Michael Cox takes a look at what's been going on at Goodison Park this campaign.

Jonathan Wilson is in South Africa. He's talking about The Faso. The Burkina Faso, that is. They'll face South Africa in the final of the ACN on Sunday. They've proven they can play with the big boys.

Germany defeated France yesterday in Paris. It was only a friendly, but it was the Germans first win in France since 1935. 1935! OK, so they won their fair share in France in WWII (ouch!), but we're talking about football here, folks. Anyway, Raphael Honigstein knows his Germany. So who were the winners and losers of yesterday's contest?

The USA lost to Honduras on Wednesday. You already knew that. Here's some more analysis for ya.

Record of Manchester United with Mark Halsey in charge: Won 18 Drawn 3 Lost 0 - Goals for 47 Against 11

Right. What have we got in terms of matches this weekend? Let's begin in England, shall we? Manchester United vs. Everton looks good on paper but the match is at Old Trafford and we can't see them dropping points at home. Look who will be the ref! Paul Merson disagrees. Check his predictions below to see why. The early match tomorrow is Tottenham vs. Newcastle (7:45am EST on ESPN2). That one could offer up some solid action. Newcastle just bought 36 French guys to boost their squad while Spurs don't have any strikers. Still, Bale is on fire and Clint is returning to form. It should be a tight contest. Here's a preview for all the EPL action followed by your usual Friday fun.

Premier League Spotlight

Ten Things to Look Out For

Lawro and Hulk Hogan's Predictions

Paul Merson's Predictions

Moving on! Italy! Yes, Serie A action will be taking place this weekend. Juventus vs. Fiorentina looks to be exciting. Lazio/Napoli might be nice. Here's a preview. Over in Spain, they'll be out and about as well. Leaders Barcelona host Getafe while Real Madrid welcome Sevilla. Preview? Yes. 

The Joy of Six: Tales From the Boot Room! You don't need any more intro than that!

Bleh! That'll do! Enjoy the weekend.

Onward!!

-SSN

USA Defeat, Mexico Draw, England Victory, African Cup of Nations Semis, Carragher to Retire

There's only once place to begin today and that's in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. Team USA lost after some poor defending allowed the hosts a late goal. It looked set for a draw, which would have been a good result for the Yanks, but it wasn't to be. The game featured two lovely goals, though. The first a glorious volley by Clint Dempsey from a Jermaine Jones pass, and the second a spectacular bicycle kick from Juan Carlos Garcia. Grant Wahl says the pressure is now on Klinsmann big time. And we agree. There's been nothing to indicate any improvement from the previous regime.

Here are the U.S. Player Ratings. And Grant's Three Thoughts. And more U.S. Player Ratings.

Little Boy Jamie...

There was a bit of a shock at the Azteca last night as Mexico failed to score and drew with Jamaica. We were already in bed so didn't se the match. Apparently Los Tri were booed heavily. Good. Wankers.

And then there were two. Nigeria and Burkina Faso will battle it out for the African Cup of Nations title. Nigeria began the day by defeating Mali. Later, The Fasos (?) ousted Ghana in a shootout. The final is set for Sunday at 1pm EST. It'll be streaming on ESPN3.

Meanwhile, there were enough decent match-ups in the world of friendlies yesterday to warrant a wrap-up. Here's a nice one with some video highlights of the bigger clashes such as France/Germany, Netherlands/Italy, and Sweden/Argentina.

Jamie Carragher. Love him or hate him he's had quite a career. We feel like he's been playing forever. Well, he announced this will be it for him once the season is complete. He's 35 and it's certainly the right decision. He tackles are getting later, and later, and later...

Right! That's your lot for the day. More tomorrow when we conclude the week with a bang!

Wait! Beckham is back in his briefs for H&M! Here you go!

Onward!!

-SSN

Honduras vs. USA, Milan Racism, ACN Semis, Bob Bradley in Egypt, Gus Johnson

The road to Brazil continues for the men of the United States National Team this afternoon in Honduras. Things get going at 4pm EST and you can watch all the fun on beIN Sport USA. Mexico and Jamaica clash later tonight at 9:30pm EST and that one is on ESPN2. There are also a few friendlies of note (England/Brazil, France/Germany, Sweden/Argentina, Netherlands/Italy, Spain/Uruguay) but they are simply friendlies and therefore a complete waste of time. Back to the match that matters, here's a preview. And here's Grant Wahl's look at the match.

Sticking with Grant Wahl, he's got an interview with former USMNT gaffer, Bob Bradley. Bradley remains in Egypt after all the insane-o shit that's gone down there. It makes for an interesting read.

More sad, stupid news from Italy. This time the idiot in question is Burlesconi. No, not that asshole, his brother. Paolo, not Silvio. Anyway, he was talking about Mario Balotelli and he said this: OK, we are all off to see the family's little nigger. He's a crazy head. All the young ladies are invited as well – you can even have a chance to meet the president [Silvio Berlusconi]." So, right. OK, then. Stay classy.

Gus Johnson is going to be gracing our footie airwaves soon. Fox want him to be the "voice of American soccer". He'll do the Madrid/ United Champions League game and the Bayern/Arsenal CL match. He'll also get the FA Cup Final and the Champions League Final. The SSN staff is in agreement: Not Cool. Johnson and his hyperbole can stick to basketball. That said, we're willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. This quote, in particular, gives us hope: "Look, of course, we are concerned," (Fox executive) Shanks said. "But we would not be doing this if we did not think that Gus was putting the time, effort and energy into doing a broadcast that appeals to the people listening to Martin Tyler and Ian Darke. We will work to be as good as those guys but by no means does Gus think he is Martin Tyler or Ian Darke at this point. He will continue to get better and he will make sure he's telling the true story of a match as it happens, and telling it with Gus's voice, which a lot of people love. By no means is this meant to be a sideshow."

So, we shall see. It will be a bit of a shock to hear him call matches, that's for sure. Hopefully he'll settle in quickly.

We're down to the semi-finals in the African Cup of Nations. Burkina Faso face Ghana and it's already underway between Mali and Nigeria.

Do you know who we hate? Besides, John Terry, of course. Why, it's his pal Ashley Cole. He's cretinous, really. But, but, but, he's a great player. Phil McNulty writes about him here on the occasion of the wanker's 100th cap for England.

We'll finish by acknowledging that friendlies can be fun. Here are a few things to look for today.

Onward!!

-SSN

The Hex, Match Fixing, Scribes, Aston Villa, MLS to Europe, Ivory Coast

Right. Sorry, we had to attend this yesterday and with party obligations Sunday night, we were unable to get a post out yesterday. Excuses, excuses...

So this match fixing shit. It's not really new news. If you've been paying attention, all of this has come out already. Europol simply finally finished their investigation and issued a report. So that's that. Well, almost. Henry Winter has written something about it and Henry Winter is a damn fine writer so let's read what he wrote.

Phil Ball is in Spain and he went somewhere he's never been. He hit the Coliseum Alfonso Perez at Getafe for their match against Deportivo de La Coruña. As always, it's a great read. Sid Lowe is over there, too. El Sid decided to focus on Atlético Madrid and the excellent season they are enjoying. Atlético are now seven points clear of Real and nine behind Barcelona.

World Cup Qualifying! The Hexagonal gets underway tomorrow as the United States head to San Pedro Sula to face Honduras. The Washington Post's Steve Goff is already there and he sent this postcard. Grant Wahl is probably there as well. He's got this preview of the entire Hex.

Brek Shea is the latest MLS product to jump across the pond. Additionally, Sporting Kansas City attacker Kei Kamara will be joining up with Norwich City on loan, and D.C. United’s Andy Najar has been sold to Belgian side Anderlecht. Jeff Carlisle takes a look at the domestic league and the strides being made.

Mega crisis, indeed!

Ivory Coast's golden generation falls short at Cup of Nations again. That's the headline from Jonathan Wilson down in South Africa. The Elephants lost to Nigeria in the quarterfinals. Didier Drogba. Yaya Toure. Gervinho. Salomon Kalou. Emmanuel Eboué. Cheik Tioté. Didier Zokora. All of these guys are experienced in top-level football. And yet they've fallen short yet again.

Aston Villa. It's a massive club with loads of supporters. It's also in big trouble because the Villains currently sit in the relegation zone and have been leaking goals for fun. Georgina Turner takes a look at what ails the storied club and if it can be saved from a trip down to The Championship.

We should probably give Paolo and Raphael some airtime. We've got to know what's going on in Serie A and the Bundesliga, after all. Paolo was actually Stateside for the Super Bowl but he knows that Balotelli scored twice for Milan on his debut. Meanwhile, Rafa reports that Schalke are in a "mega crisis." Yaahoo! We get to use the photo!

There's also The Podcast to contend with. Here's your intro: On today's Football Weekly, James Richardson is joined by Gregg Bakowski, Simon Burnton and the one and only Fernando Duarte, and it's a doozy - at 57 (fifty-seven)-and-a-bit minutes long. Woof. We start with all the fun and frolics of the Premier League, where Manchester City had to conjure up some Sergio Agüero-shaped magic to rescue a point against a very impressive Liverpool, Newcastle's French connection inflicted another defeat on Chelsea, and Aston Villa finally showed some fight. Next, we catch up on all the Brazilian football news that you could possibly want to hear. They're playing England in a friendly this week, since you asked. Finally, there's Sid Lowe on the doping scandal engulfing Spain, Jonathan Wilson on the Africa Cup of Nations, where Ivory Coast have failed again, and some much-needed love for Watford, who - would you believe it - didn't always play in yellow ...

Let's finish today by watching someone do something really stupid:


Onward!!

-SSN