Phil Ball in Spain, Champions League, Gazza Trouble, Millwall Racist Arrested, More Americans Abroad

Yesterday we posted the gross video from the Millwall/Leeds match that featured plenty of racist language aimed at Leeds' El Hadji Diouf. At least some good has happened thanks to that Sky Sport report. One of the assholes has been arrested.

Moving on to lighter fare. It's time to catch up with Phil Ball. He's still bouncing about Spain, checking out venues that are new to him. And us. This week he reports on his journey to Zaragoza and the Romareda. This time, Phil makes a big mistake: Estas provocando, cabrón! (You're provoking us, b*****d!) he informs me, purple-faced with rage. Si aplaudes otra vez, te mato! (If you applaud again, I'll kill you!) he adds, jabbing his finger at my nose.

OK, so maybe that wasn't much lighter...

Champions League! Yesterday, the darlings at Celtic tried admirably to hold their own against Juventus but ultimately failed. They went down at home 0-3 so surely their time in the big time is over for now. Ewan Murray was at Celtic Park. In the other match, Ibra saw red (idiot!) but PSG won on the road 1-2 so they look set to advance as well. Here's a look back at yesterday's action.

Today's big match? Why, it's Shakhtar Donetsk vs. Borussia Dortmund. Hah! So funny. We're all laughing out loud over here at SSN Headquarters.

No, it's obviously Real Madrid vs. Manchester United. It's also Gus Johnson's maiden voyage. We are very curious to see how it plays. Sid Lowe is focusing on United's Spanish keeper De Gea and his audition at the Bernabéu. Everyone wants to talk about Ferguson & Mourinho and their upcoming battle. And their "friendship." And by everyone we mean Phil McNulty and Marina Hyde.

Here's a preview. And another. Both matches get going at 2:45pm EST. The action from Madrid is on Fox Soccer Channel and the action from Ukraine on Fox Soccer plus. Here's even more hype.

Right! How about another look at Americans Abroad? This one includes DeMarcus Beasley's heroics over the weekend in Mexico. The Indiana native notched two for Puebla.

Paul Gascoigne is struggling again. The legend is now in rehab in Arizona, apparently. Things have not been going well. According to someone, he was downing two litres of gin and 15 cans of Stella a day, along with shooting cocaine. Here's a sad video and all the sordid info.

Well, that's going to do it for today. We're going to try to get away to see how Real Madrid, Manchester United, and Gus Johnson perform later. We hope you can, too.

Onward!!

-SSN