Thursday, September 04, 2014

USA Defeat Czech Republic, Argentina & Di María Destroy Germany, England Snorefest

Yeah, not what we'd want to do on a Wednesday night in London, either...
Whew! We looked up and Argentina were beating Germany by the score of 4-0. It ended 4-2, but the point had been made. What if Di María had played in Brazil? Sure, the German squad was weak, but what if Di María had played in Brazil? He scored a goal and had three assists last night. What if Di María had played in Brazil? Conrad Leach was at the Esprit Arena in Düsseldorf and filed this report. Raphael Honigstein takes a closer look at the German World Cup Hangover in this fine article.

And what of the United States? They had a little party in Prague and beat the hosts 1-0 thanks to a goal from Alejandro Bedoya. It was a pretty entertaining affair, actually. Some good end-to-end stuff for a fair amount of the match. To be fair, the Czechs pretty much dominated the second half, and per usual, the Yanks had a great goalie performance (this time from Nick Rimando) to thank for preserving the win. Here's your lot:

Grant Wahl: Three Thoughts
Doug McIntyre: Three Points

We know you'll all be shocked to hear that England's match against Norway sucked. It was drab, boring, labored, whatever synonym you want to throw in there. Sadly for Daniel Taylor, he was there and forced to file this report. You want more on that match? What is you, loco? OK, fine. You get Phil McNulty and this: England need to win their fans back.

There are two matches of interest today: France vs. Spain and Italy vs. Netherlands.

There were some matching in MLS last night. Philly, Seattle, and New England were victorious. Here's a wrap.

And finally...Mario Balotelli's new crib has a helipad.



Wednesday, September 03, 2014

International (UGH) Break

Anyone going to Wembley today? Anyone? Didn't think so...
Good Grief. It's the dreaded September International Break already. The club action starts to heat up and, boom. Stop. Full Stop. Time for Russia/Azerbaijan, Denmark/Turkey, and Ireland/Oman. To be fair, Germany vs. Argentina could be decent since it's true great teams and rematch of the World Cup Final that took place just shy of two months ago. Ahhh, and our Yanks are in Prague to play the Czechs (2:15pm EDT on NBCSN). Oh, and England host Norway at...sorry, dozed off there...Wembley. Here are some previews, beginning with the U.S. of A. and their roster:

Goalkeepers: Cody Cropper (Southampton), Brad Guzan (Aston Villa), Nick Rimando (RSL)

Defenders: John Brooks (Hertha Berlin), Geoff Cameron (Stoke City), Timmy Chandler (Eintracht Frankfurt), Greg Garza (Club Tijuana), Fabian Johnson (Borussia Mönchengladbach), Michael Orozco (Puebla), Tim Ream (Bolton)

Midfielders: Alejandro Bedoya (Nantes), Joe Corona (Club Tijuana), Mix Diskerud (Rosenborg), Julian Green (Bayern Munich), Emerson Hyndman (Fulham), Alfredo Morales (Ingolstadt),
Brek Shea (Stoke City)

Forwards: Jozy Altidore (Sunderland), Joe Gyau (Borussia Dortmund II), Jordan Morris (Stanford), Rubio Rubin (Utrecht), Bobby Wood (1860 Munich)

USA vs. Czech Republic: Preview

Raphael Honigstein know his Germany, yes he does. Here's his preview for the WORLD CHAMPIONS' friendly against Argentina.

Spain were shit in Brazil, remember? They were the first nation knocked out. Time to rebuild! Sid Lowe takes a gander at what 'Ol del Bosque has in mind for his tika-tacking failures ahead of the friendlies against against France and Macedonia. Sticking with Spain, Guillem Balague says Real Madrid  have shown 'zero logic' this summer. Damn, Guillem! You harsh!

We want our money back! It appears that even the 1% can get upset when their team sell their stars. Those poor Monacans. Monacoans? Monégasque? Really? Cool.

We want our prestige back! According to Paul Wilson, the Premier League has got it back. Thanks to all those big-$$ signings.

We out!



Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Transfer Insanity, Tim Howard Insanity, Real Sociedad/Real Madrid Insanity, Paolo Bandini in Italy, Sid Lowe in Spain, Sam Kelly in Argentina, Dildo in Sky Reporter's Ear

El Tigre: "I am sure that this season will be great for us."
Good Morning! All of us at SSN Headquarters hope those of you living Stateside had an enjoyable Labor Day weekend and have returned to your respective offices with a renewed vigor ready to tackle the coming autumnal months. So much happened over the weekend it's tough to know where to begin. Actually, we know where to begin. We have to begin with the Sky Sports reporter and the dildo in his ear.

Ahem. Now then. The Transfer Window is finally closed, so let's take a look at where everyone has ended up now that the dust has settled (except for Tom Cleverley's dust). Prepare thee for...Insane-o-Linkathon:

Premier League Clubs: Ins & Outs
Miguel Delaney: What did we learn?

Scribe time! Go around the world with the best writers every Tuesday! Extra fun with Paolo today and the return of Serie A!

Where? Spain. Who? Sid Lowe. What? The Arcángel roars as Córdoba return 

Where? Argentina. Who? Sam Kelly. What? Argentina enter the Martino era with some familiar faces

Where? South America. Who? Tim Vickery. What? Falcao is "The Tiger" who tears defenses apart

Where? Germany. Who? Andy Brassell. What? Schalke's miners find renewed energy

Where? Monaco. Who? Andy Brassell. Wait. Isn't he in Germany? Yes, but he's also in Monaco. OK. What? Monaco's ambitious dream fades with Radamel Falcao exit

Chicharito: "Playing for Real Madrid is a dream come true. Everybody in the world knows Real Madrid."
They do play soccer at a relatively high level in the United States. The top league is called Major League Soccer. Here are Five Things We Learned from the weekend. You want Power Rankings? Bam! Bird's got you covered.

Speaking of Americans, Timmy Howard had a weekend to forget after Chelsea put six past him at Goodison Park. Some dude named Tim Hill says the USA secretary of defence is just Everton's overrated keeper. Ouch. He's incorrect, of course, but it's worth a read.

And finally, a quick look back at what happened in Europe over the weekend. For one, Real Madrid threw away a two-goal lead...