Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Crystal Palace & Everton Season Previews, Mexico Sack Herrera, Kaká

Not a bad squad if you're still living in 2005...

Good grief! Is it Hump Day already? They say time speeds up as you age, but this is getting ridiculous. Since the SSN Staff is on the older side, we're all freaking out as these weeks fly by. The only positive? The club season is almost here! And with that, the alphabetical previews and predictions continue. Today, we're graced with Crystal Palace (11th) and Everton (8th).

Kaká belongs to Jesus. He's told us so himself. But...he also belongs to Major League Soccer and is living up to the hype in Orlando by kicking some major ass. MVP? Seems logical. Sticking with MLS, does the league now have their Greatest Ever XI? Oh, and the MLS All-Star game is today. Apparently, Columbus have a decent couple of guys.

As noted in the subject line, Mexico's easily-excitable gaffer Miguel Herrera was canned yesterday. SSN Mexican National Team Expert Pedro predicted it would happen in a discussion around the water cooler at SSN Headquarters on Monday, but few of the staffers believed him. We suppose that's why Pedro is our SSN Mexican National Team Expert. He's usually correct when it comes to matters regarding the Mexican National Team. Farewell, Miguel.

And finally...could Villa be the EPL's surprise package this year?



Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Scott Murray on Carrow Road, Bournemouth & Chelsea Season Previews, Goals of the Week, Drogba to Montreal, The Zlatan Interview

Hi, friends. Welcome. Carrow Road is now 80 years of age. Just how did Norwich build the ‘eighth wonder of the world’ in 81 days? Scott Murray takes a gander.

Next up in Premier League Season Preview & Predictions department are Bournemouth (17th) and Chelsea (First).

Speaking of Chelsea, Didier Drogba is the latest old geezer to join Major League Soccer. He'll be getting his poutine on up in Montreal with the Impact. But, wait. Didn't Chicago have his MLS rights? What happened?

Who's been spending what at the top of the Premier League?

This summer was quite interesting for United States Soccer. The women were great. The men...not so much. Graham Parker takes a look at the questions raised for both sides over the last couple of months. Sticking with North America, Bird has MLS Power Rankings and a Weekend Review of sorts here.

Backheel Breakfast (Yesterday)

Can we go to Spain? Please? Fabulous! Graham Hunter is examining Real Madrid, Barca, and Sevilla's different approaches to the transfer market.

Can we go to South America? Please? Fabulous! Tim Vickery is talking Copa Libertadores.

The Zlatan speaks! SI interviewed SSN's favorite Superhero. Check it out:

And finally...some Vietnamese fans are pissed at the Man City players.



Monday, July 27, 2015

Mexico Win Gold Cup, Arsenal & Aston Villa Season Previews, 2018 Qualifying

Hi there. We hope you had a fine weekend. The Editor and Mrs. Editor enjoyed a trip to the IKEA in Charlotte yesterday and saw three Eden Hazards, two John Terrys, and one Didier Drogba. No Frank Lapmard, though...

As expected, Mexico completed their CONCACAF-escorted run to a Gold Cup title last night with a win against Jamaica. In the third-place meaningless sad match, Panama beat the United States after penalties. We're really, really glad that farce of a tournament is over. Good. Grief. We'll keep it simple today, Peeps. Just that facts,  ma'am. Oh, and some rumors, of course. And absolutely NOTHING about the Gold Cup. We will note that Mexico and U.S. will play in Pasadena on October 9 to see who gets the honor of playing in the Confederations Cup.

Well, it's started. The Guardian has begun the series of Premier League Season Previews & Predictions. Alphabetically, of course. So, naturally, we begin with Arsenal (Third Place) and Aston Villa (Relegation Battle).

There were matches other than those for the Gold Cup this weekend. Yes, MLS rolled on and Andrea Pirlo was treated to another eight-goal fest at Yankee Stadium. Here are Five Things We Learned over the weekend. Power Rankings? Why not? D.C. on top and Philly on the bottom.

They're going to play that tournament up in Russia in a few years. You know, the World Cup? And they did the draw to try to figure out what countries from Europe will be there. Here's what's of note on that front. CONCACAF? Yeah, they did that one, as well. We'd rather not think about the USMNT right now, though.

Why the hell did The Special One sign Falcao? Dude's been ass for over a year now. Adam Bate investigates.

And finally...Jenna Jameson is a Manchester United fan.



Friday, July 24, 2015

Hulk, Ramsey, Pep, Spurs, Donovan, Vidal

The 25th-Best USMNT Player Of All Time

Holla! There goes another week. In the bag. Done and dusted. Sunday is the Gold Cup final. We really could not care less after the shambolic manner in which CONCACAF has handled the tournament. We're ready for club footy! Thankfully, it'll come soon. Here we go...

Right, so Stuart James has a lovely little interview with Aaron Ramsey. Ramsey claims that he's a man now, so he's got that going for him.

It's a big year for Pep Guardiola and Bayern Munich. Raphael Honigstein reports from Germany on the...German Giants. No doubt the capture of Gore Arturo Vidal will help Pep's cause. Can we say that again? Great. Thanks. No doubt the capture of Gore Arturo Vidal will help Pep's cause.

Barney Ronay is taking a look at Spurs now that Gareth Bale is well and truly gone and maybe forgotten. They got a load of cash for the Welsh Ape and initially it did not look like it had been well spent. But, according to Barney, they've moved on and actually look quite healthy. Quite.

Back in the U.S. of A., MLS lumbers on. This weekend we get our first look at Frank Lampard and Andrea Pirlo as they are expected to debut for NYCFCYCFCCCFY. Should be interesting. Here's a Weekend Preview.

You want to read about Landon Donovan? The Greatest USMNT Player Ever? The Guardian and Jeff Bradley have you covered. But, who was second-best in their estimation? Reyna? OK, fair enough.

Good on you, Hulk! The Brazilian striker has told SPECTRE FIFA to piss off. He won't participate in the Russia 2018 draw. They'll spin the story, but we're pretty sure why he won't be there. "Club commitments," our ass. Here's more on the draw itself, where Wales and Romania will be top seeds.

That'll do. Enjoy your weekend.



Thursday, July 23, 2015

Jamaica Defeat USA, Mexico Ushered to the Final, Figo, Miss Charming


Well. How do you like that? What a shitshow. First the U.S. lose to Jamaica and then Mexico receive another pass so they can play in the final. How obvious is this going to be, CONCACAF? We know you want the money, but come on! Here's the fallout from a night of utter poop:

Steve Goff: Night of Absurdity
USA 1 - 2 Jamaica: Three Quick Thoughts
Kevin Draper: Mexico advance after Panama CONCACAF'd
Mexico 2 - 1 Panama: Three Thoughts
Mexico 2 - 1 Panama: Three Thoughts Two

Now then. Is this the year Spurs finally make the Champions League? Richard Jolly investigates. Want to know how the Galatico era began at Barcelona? One name: Luis Figo. And things in Russia  are simply absurd. Miss Charming?

And finally...where does the U.S. go from here?



Wednesday, July 22, 2015

USA vs. Jamaica, Mexico vs. Panama


It's Hump Day and we've got to be quick. Just about the only thing going on is the Gold Cup. Well, that and quite a few rioting Frankfort and Leeds fans. The U.S. face the Reggae Boys and the Mexicans and Panamanians clash. Here you go:

USA vs. Jamaica: Preview
USA vs. Jamaica: Preview II
Mexico vs. Panama: Preview

We out!



Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Cuban Defections, Goals of the Week, Transfer Rumors, Transfer Rumours, USMNT

Ciao ciao, Andrea. Ciao ciao ciao ciao. Ciao.

Hey, now. It's all a bit quiet today. And we're not complaining. It's providing the opportunity for SSN Staffers to clean out the office fridge, order more paper, and get that huge stack of documents filed.

There's finally some decent coverage of the Cuban defections that occurred during the Gold Cup. Check the BBC's piece here. It's pretty incredible stuff, really. Unlike their baseball counterparts, there are no multi-million dollar contracts to be had. Want more? Here's an excellent article on Cuba and the U.S. as the dynamic between the two nations changes.

And now for Goals of the Week, featuring one from Boca, one from River, and one from the man who belongs to Jesus.

We should probably get some Power Rankings for MLS. Top? Kansas City. Bottom? Chicago.

Gore Arturo Vidal has left Juventus for Germany. James Horncastle is wondering if The Old Lady can survive without the Chilean midfielder.

The U.S. play Jamaica tomorrow night in Atlanta. Grant Wahl is with the Yanks and filed this report.

That's all we got!



Monday, July 20, 2015

USA Crush Cuba, Mexico Gifted a Goal and the Game, Sepp Showered in Cash

Here's to a pleasant week for you and yours. In the Gold Cup, Mexico couldn't finish and therefore couldn't score so the ref gave them a penalty in the closing minutes to allow them to advance at the expense of Costa Rica. Ugh. Yes, they deserved to win the match based on the play over the course of the 120 minutes. But, just not this way. The fix is in, folks! Elsewhere, the U.S. had little trouble with Cuba, Jamaica won, and Panama won on penalties. Your semis look like this: USA vs. Jamaica and Mexico vs. Panama. Both matches are Wednesday, with the U.S. in the earlier (6:00 p.m. EDT) fixture. Here's the shit from the weekend of CONCACAF fun:

CONCACAF Gold Cup: Saturday's Day 12 Takeaways
CONCACAF Gold Cup: Sunday's Day 13 Takeaways
USA 6 - 0 Cuba: Three Quick Thoughts
Mexico 1 - 0 Costa Rica: How Social Media Reacted
Mexico 1 - 0 Costa Rica: Three Observations

Manchester United have signed quite a few new lads, haven't they? One of them is Matteo Darmian. What's his story? Well, first of all, he's Italian. Second of all, Paolo Bandini is on the case and we'll let him take over from here.

Major League Soccer? Five Things We Learned? Sure. But let us take a guess about one of the things we learned. Maybe that the assGalaxy just keep getting better and better? Just how is that in a league that's supposed to be set up for parity? Hmmmm. Here's a Weekend Review to go along with your learning session.

Haven't heard from Sam Kelly in a spell. He's down in Argentina and he's updating us on Tevez's return to Boca. Gracias, Sam!

This is funny. Sepp gets showered with cash.

That's fine for a Monday. Catch ya later.



Friday, July 17, 2015

Gold Cup Quarters, Sid Lowe in Barcelona, Aimar Retires

Suerte, Pablo...

Hey now! And another week bites the dust. It's Gold Cup Quarterfinal time this weekend. Here are some previews to prepare you for the action. The U.S. play Cuba tomorrow in Baltimore at 5:00 p.m. EDT on FOX.

USA vs. Cuba: Preview I
USA vs. Cuba: Preview II

The other action on the pitch this weekend takes place in what they call Major League Soccer. Here's a preview. Here's another. Just so you know, MLS All-Star Frank Fatpard probably won't play on fake grass and MLS All-Star Stevie G probably will play against San Jose.

It's election time in Barcelona. Juan Laporta wants to be El Presidente. Again. Sid Lowe followed him around for a day and filed this report.

About time! There's a Joy of Six to enjoy this week. We feel like it's been ages since we've had one. Anyway, it's...Pre-season and all that. Do it.

Can Man Utd's Memphis Depay emulate great Eredivisie imports to Premier League? That's a fine question. Will he be as good as Van Nistelrooy, Robben, Stam, van Persie, Overmars, et. al?

Most of the SSN staff were big fans of Pablo Aimar back in the day. He could dance, dribble, shoot, and pass better then almost anyone else we'd ever seen. Alas, injuries curtailed his career, and he has decided to put up his boots at the age of 35. Paul Wilson takes a look at the Argentine Number 10.

And are 10 Reasons Why Germany Will Win Euro 2016.



Thursday, July 16, 2015

T&T and Mexico Thriller, Di María, Benteke, Víctor Valdés, Vidal, dos Santos, Scott Murray on Gerrard

Why, hello there. The Gold Cup offered up plenty of crazy last night in Charlotte. Mexico went up, T&T came back, Mexico went up, and T&T grabbed a late draw amidst lasers and trash. Check the rhyme:

CONCACAF Gold Cup: Wednesday's Day 9 Takeaways
Mexico 4 - 4 Trinidad & Tobago: Three Observations

What does it all mean? This. You've got the quarterfinals in Baltimore and the Meadowlands this weekend. Saturday it's USA vs. Cuba and Haiti vs. Jamaica. Sunday it's T&T vs. Panama and Mexico vs. Costa Rica. We'll have previews and prep tomorrow.

The FA announced on Thursday that neither the Scot nor Cardiff’s then head of recruitment, Iain Moody, would face disciplinary action...

The silly season continues apace, friends. It looks like Liverpool really want Christian Benteke. But wait! So do Manchester United. It looks like LVG is pissed at Víctor Valdés and wants him gone. It looks like Ángel Di María will also be allowed to depart Old Trafford. And it looks like everyone's favorite Chilean DUI-er Gore Arturo Vidal is set to sign for Bayern Munich. Check the insanity...

Scott Murray's got another piece on U.S. stuff, don't you know? It's all about Stevie G. Jeff Carlisle also has a U.S. focus and it's set on Jozy Altidore. What's his future with the national team?

Jonathan Wilson has a couple of articles out. Both involve transfers that did not go too smoothly. Iker Casillas and Raheem Sterling.

And finally...this is incredibly depressing.