Monday, July 28, 2014

If Something Happens...

we'll get back on the horse. For now, SSN Headquarters is closed. Enjoy the quiet. 



Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Dunga's Back, Sid On James, Alternative Juventus Guide, No Russia 2018?, Man City Racial Abuse, Euro Clubs Stateside

Soon to be seen hugging Robert Huth, Glen Whelan, Charlie Adam, Ryan Shawcross, and Jonathan Walters...
You know, we figured we'd close SSN Headquarters for another day and enjoy the quiet of the summer, but for some reason, we couldn't stay away. It's not that there's anything really happening out there (there's not), it's just that we need to get our fix. And what better way to do that than with the honorable Sid Lowe? Real Madrid purchased everyone's favorite Colombian World Cup darling James Rodríguez the other day and El Sid is curious as to whether the new galáctico will fit into Real Madrid masterplan. Have a look.

Manchester City Under-21s? Yep. Playing a friendly in Croatia. Racially abused? Yep.

Here's something a bit more light: Man City's kit man has retired after 22 years and he's got some interesting anecdotes.

The World Cup. Remember Brazil? How awesome was it to see Big Phil and Co. get their asses handed to them by Germany? It was fabulous. We loved it. Schadenfreude, indeed. Anyway, the powers that be in the Brazilian FA have decided to right the ship by bringing back the man in the shirt, Dunga. Best of luck, Old Boy. Fernando Duarte is not impressed. He thinks Brazil is taking a step backward with this appointment. Tim Vickery isn't so sure he can handle it, either.

Speaking of the World Cup, the next one is in Russia. Good, Lord. They've got some challenges to face, to say the least. The sane among us (thank you, Germany) don't think they should be able to host the thing. Let's hope that argument gains momentum.

We should probably take a look at Major League Soccer. Here are some Power Rankings.

A slew of major European clubs are currently Stateside attempting to get ready for the season and enhance their brands. Want to watch them in action? Here are all the TV listings. Things get going tonight with Toronto vs. Spurs, Sporting KC vs. Man City, Liverpool vs. Roma, and LA assGalaxy vs. Manchester United.

The Gentleman Ultra is back. For this installment of his series of Alternative Serie A Guides, he provides us with Juventus. Grazie mille!

And finally...Bojan Krkic. Remember that guy? The Bojan was supposed to be "the next Messi" and lead Barcelona into the future. He now belongs to Stoke.



Monday, July 21, 2014

Gerrard Retires From International Football, Transfers, Dunga To Return?

Chelsea reportedly offered £20m to Atletico Madrid for 29-year-old Brazilian defender...
Happy Monday. No links today, friends. We're just going to spell it all out. 

Go: Stevie G has retired from the England set-up. James Rodríguez looks to be on his way to Real Madrid. The fighting in Ukraine is now close to Donetsk and a bunch of Shakhtar Donetsk players would rather not show up at their club. Manchester United's Michael Carrick has damaged ligaments his ankle and will be out for ten weeks. Manchester City's Alvaro Negredo fractured a metatarsal in their recent friendly against Hearts and will be out for at least three months. Didier Drogba appears ready to return to Chelsea on a one-year deal. Fernando Torres might end up back at Atlético Madrid. Louis van Gaal might sign a bunch of Dutch players for Manchester United. And a Belgian, too. That would be Thomas Vermaelen. Inter Milan want to take Gary Medel away from Cardiff. Dunga looks like he'll be the next manager of the Brazilian National Team. Loic Remy looks ready to sign for Liverpool. Nobody knows who the mother of Cristiano Ronaldo's four-year-old son is and the boy has been told his mother is dead.

And finally...Chelsea have offered £20m to Atletico Madrid for 29-year-old Brazilian defender Miranda.



Friday, July 18, 2014


And there goes another week. It's awfully quiet out there, folks. A few minor transfers conitnue to pop up, but it's pretty much a waiting game at this point. We are a day closer to the return of club football, thank God. Have you taken the time to examine the fixtures for the Premier League? Now might be a good moment to do just that. August 16 is that day it all kicks off. Serie A fixtures will be announced July 28. The top league in Italy doesn't get going until August 31. The dates in Spain have yet to be announced, but La Liga usually starts in late August as well. The 26th has been bounced around as a possibility.

Right! So...transfers? Well, Rio has moved from Manchester to London to be with QPR, Ba has moved to Besiktas, Michu has been loaned from Swansea to Napoli, Janmaat has transferred to Newcastle from Feyenoord, and Debuchy has moved from Newcastle to Arsenal. Let's get to it.

The World Cup is obviously a factor in terms of the transfer market. Here are Nine Players Who Made Themselves A Ton Of Money At The World Cup.

It's almost time for those pre-season U.S. tours to get going. Manchester United announced the group they'll bring over to Los Angeles today. These are the dudes: De Gea, Lindegaard, Amos, Johnstone, Rafael, Evans, Smalling, Jones, Shaw, Blackett, M Keane, James, Herrera, Cleverley, Fletcher, Young, Zaha, Kagawa, Mata, Valencia, Nani, Lingard, Welbeck, Rooney, W Keane.

At least there is some real soccer to watch. MLS is happening. Here's a preview for the weekend if you're into that sort of thing.'s another preview.

That's it. No, really. That's all there is.



Thursday, July 17, 2014

Blackpool, Kroos, Valencia, Luís, Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal, Judging Jurgen Klinsmann, Mike Magee's Day Off

Hello, Thursday! We took a little break yesterday because nothing is happening. Which is rather nice for a change. But we're back today to catch up on some transfer action and see what else is up. Enner Valencia has decided to terminate any chance of continuing his good World Cup form by going to play for Big Sam at West Ham. Oh, dear. Toni Kroos has decided that the chance to get close to Ronaldo is too exciting and has left Bayern Munich for Real Madrid. Chelski bought Filipe Luís from Atlético Madrid. The Louis van Gaal reign has begun at Old a rock. Here are all the rumors, speculation, lies, winks, and nods:

The window is wide open.
Speaking of Louis van Gaal, Jan Molby claims the biggest issue the big Dutchman must solve at United is one of...identity. Just who are you, Manchester United? And wait, their new manager's name is actually Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal?! Interesting...

Major League Soccer made a funny little video, people. Their marketing team is working overtime trying to tap into that World Cup fever. It's Mike Magee's Day Off! Enjoy!

Blackpool are a club in big trouble. They only have eight players on the books at the moment. Seriously. Go ahead and meet them. They have a match in 23 days. Good luck, lads. It looks like League One beckons.

The time has come to judge Jurgen Klinsmann. The consensus around SSN Headquarters is that The Diving German did a fine job in Brazil. Not great, but fine. Kind of like a lukewarm bratwurst. It could be better, but it's still a brat. ESPN FC's experts have gotten together and offer their judgements here.

Juventus. The Old Lady. They've been back to their dominate best in Serie A of late. So why did manager Antonio Conte bail? James Horncastle checks in on the odd situation in Turin.

And finally... Mesut Ozil has announced that he will sponsor the surgeries of 23 Brazilian children (about £350,000). Nice gesture, bruh.



Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Transfers & Rabotnički vs. Helsingin Jalkapalloklubi

It's Tuesday. Bleh. The Germans celebrated and the Brazilians have to clean up the mess that the world left behind. And it'll be a while before we enjoy any matches of value. Wait. KR Reykjavík play Celtic in Champions League qualifying today?! Sheriff host Sutjeska? Well, we spoke too soon, then, didn't we? At least we've got the Silly Season to carry us on. Let's get right to that, yes?

One transfer that's already gone down is Ashley Cole to Roma. Will it work out? Do we care? OK, OK, we loath the man but he's an amazing talent and has been for years. Serie A will probably suit him well at this point. And good on him for not going to the Middle East, Australia, or MLS. Here

It is Tuesday and under normal circumstances we'd feature the top scribes looking back at the weekend. Raphael Honigstein is one such scribe and he's chose to write about Bastian Schweinsteiger. Excellent. Jonathan Wilson is another scribe of note. He's got a rather interesting piece on World Cup expectation ratings. Number One? Costa Rica. Number 32? Spain. Enjoy.

The Worst of the World Cup? Iain MacIntosh hands those awards out here

That's really about it. We'll leave you with the Best Photos From The World Cup.



Monday, July 14, 2014


It's all over, folks! The Germans take the trophy back to the Fatherland and deservedly so. Messi tried pretty damn hard, but the loss of di Maria was too much for Argentina to overcome. And, Germany are awesome. In the end, it was a pretty good tournament. The later stages didn't offer the same insanity as the Group Stage, but that's no surprise. The tension was there, and that's what matters. Let's get to the action, shall we? We'll begin with the match itself and then hit the tournament in general later.

Germany 1 - 0 Argentina
Gabriele Marcotti: Teamwork pays off
Amy Lawrence: Five Talking Points
Grant Wahl: Three Thoughts

Sadly, idiots in Buenos Aires disrupted a peaceful gathering of fans down by the Obelisk. There's always someone.

This is pretty great. Barcelona spent £75m on one Luis Suarez but they can't formally unveil him because he's banned for four months. Because he bit that guy.

Major League Soccer. Remember that league? The one in the U.S. that doesn't take a break for the World Cup? Well, Deuce and Yedlin were back in the Seattle lineup and their side won 2-0 over rivals Portland. In front of 64,207 people! Wow. And...Thierry Henry was AMAZING for New York. Check the wrap. And these Five Items from the weekend action Stateside.

World Cup 2014
Raphael Honigstein: What next for Germany?

And finally, from Wright Thompson, The Rio the World Cup didn't show. There's shit in the water, you know...



Friday, July 11, 2014

Suárez From Liverpool To Barcelona, Sánchez From Barcelona To Arsenal, Final Previews, Screetch Cuts His Hair

What? It's not OK to call you "negrito?" 
And there goes another week, folks. How about that? All eyes are firmly fixed on Sunday, (where are you watching?!?! OMG?!?!?) but other stuff is happening since the Transfer Window is still firmly ajar. The big news is that the deal to send Luis Suárez to Barcelona is finally done. The Cannibal is off to Catalonia. The other big news is that Barcelona have sent Alexis Sánchez the other way. He's been signed by Arsenal. You want articles? Do it.

Luis Suárez

Alexis Sánchez

So the World Cup has been pretty great, right? Right? Wait. Has the World Cup been that good? Nick Hornby thinks that it has. And has not.

On to the previews! It all comes to an end on Sunday (we're ignoring the match tomorrow, even though Jeff Carlisle has a few solid reasons why we should not) when Germany and Argentina go at it in Rio. Tune to ABC at 3pm EDT to see how it all plays out.

Germany vs. Argentina
Philip Oltermann: The View From Germany
Marcela Mora y Araujo: The View From Argentina
John Brewin: Five Storylines

And finally... he cut his hair, folks.



Thursday, July 10, 2014

It'll Be Argentina vs. Germany, More On Brazil's Horror, Winners & Losers

What up? Not the best of matches yesterday, sadly. Penalties were pretty much in the cards from early on. Regardless, the South American team defeated the European team and they'll battle it out on Sunday. Here's what happened in Brazil on Wednesday and here is the breakdown from Argentina's victory:

Holland 0 - 0 Argentina (aet 2-4 pens)
Grant Wahl: Three Thoughts

As we know, Brazil has quite the footballing history. Loads of stars. One of them is Zico. Zico is a legend. Zico is livid. And what next for the Dutch? Raphael Honigstein checks in on the future of the Oranje.

More trouble for Nigeria. They've been suspended from international football by SPECTRE FIFA. Again.

So. It's almost all over. Who were the big winners? DeAndre Yedlin? Indeed. Who were the big losers? Samir Nasri? Indeed. And you know what we missed in the otherwise wonderful World Cup? Yes! The Zlatan!

And finally...An analysis by the Fare Network of racist and homophobic activity during the tournament in Brazil found it to have reached double figures ahead of this week’s semi-finals.
None of those incidents were sanctioned by Fifa, despite it having been made aware of the majority of them by Fare or through the media. According to the Fare report, which has been seen by Telegraph Sport, they include “homophobic” chanting by Brazil and Mexico supporters, far-right banners displayed by followers of Germany, Russia and Croatia, racist attacks instigated by England fans and discriminatory costumes and make-up worn by visitors from a number of countries. Fifa’s disciplinary committee did consider taking action in several of those cases but controversially decided none of them constituted breaches of its rules.



Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Holy %#*&()@$$^*$, Argentina vs. Netherlands

Oh, the humanity!
Did you place a bet on Germany to defeat the host nation of Brazil by a score of 7-1? No? Neither did we. Holy moly, though, that was fun to watch. Karma certainly is a bitch, eh Brazil? Let's get to the fun!

Brazil 1 - 7 Germany
Fernando Duarte: A haunting defeat
Grant Wahl: Three Thoughts

OK, OK, OK. We know you're all wondering, "What if Milton Did Post-Match Analysis For Germany-Brazil?" Well, guess what?

There is another one today, folks. Argentina and the Netherlands go at it in Sao Paolo at 4pm EDT on ESPN. Here's what you need for that one:

Argentina vs. Netherlands
Marcela Mora y Araujo: The View From Argentina
Bart Vlietstra: The View From Holland
Grant Wahl: Video Preview
Gabriele Marcotti: The Final Push

Man. We still need to tackle the Silly Season. Here we go: The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

We're going to end with Jim White of The Telegraph. Here's his headline: Brazil's embarrassment was the ultimate reckoning for a World Cup tournament built on a lie. Yup.