Thursday, May 28, 2015

More FIFA Fallout, Sevilla Retain the Europa League Crown, Emerson Hyndman, Goals of the Week

Hello, friends. Sevilla are the champions of Europe (Tier Two) yet again. In a highly entertaining affair in Poland,  Los Blanquirrojos knocked off Dnipro Dnipropeptreptakniptrovsk by the score of 3 - 2. Jonathan Wilson was at the National Stadium on Warsaw and filed this report. Mr. Wilson also says that...The Rise and Rise of Sevilla's Carlos Bacca Is Truly Inspirational. And here are Three Things We Learned from the encounter.

Meanwhile, the soccer world continues to freak out over the shit that went down yesterday in Switzerland. SPECTRE FIFA UNDER SEIGE!!! Here's your lot for today on that front, beginning with a word from their sponsors:

One more thing before we move on: The Vlad is getting in on the mix! He thinks the U.S.A. is meddling again. Love that guy!

He's from Texas and he plays for Fulham. Clint Dempsey? Not anymore. No, it's Emerson Hyndman! Meet this Yank Abroad here.

Here's a headline for you: The prison where murderers play for Manchester United. It's a long piece, but well worth your time.

The FA Cup Final is Saturday. Scott Murray is on hand to explain why Wenger doesn't get the credit he deserves for his extraordinary record in the competition.

That'll do!



Wednesday, May 27, 2015

FIFA's Shit Hits The Fan, Europa League Final

What's the good word, Walter?
Hello, Hump Day! Let's see. Well, it's not a terribly pleasant one for SPECTRE FIFA, that's for sure. There's so much going down with everyone's favorite quasi-governmental multi-national body that we're not sure where to begin. Let's simply roll with some links, beginning with (gasp!) The New York Times.

Hey! Look at this! The Europa League Final is today. It's Sevilla vs. Dnipro Dnipropeptreptakniptrovsk. Let's learn:

Europa League Final: Preview

Time to bounce to France for a second. Julien Laurens has his Best XI of the Season from Ligue Uhhhhhhhhhhn.

And finally...The Zlatan quotes are lies! All lies!



Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Promotion, Relegation, Transfer Rumors, Scribes, Rafa in at Real?

Burn! Totti lets the Lazio faithful have it...

Hey there! Hopefully your holiday weekend went well. Shit's done and dusted in the Premier League (check Phil McNulty's Season Review), La Liga, and Bundesliga. There's one more round of action in Serie A. Let's roll...

Hull are out of the Premier League. Mrs. Doubtfire simply couldn't keep them up. Meanwhile, Norwich City are back in the Premier League. Good to see you, Canaries! They ousted Boro 2 - 0 at Wembley to join Bournemouth and Watford in the top tier. Daniel Taylor was there and filed this report. Here are all of the ups and downs for England (and Wales) and Scotland.

It's sad, but it's true. The Mill must return, and today, it does. It's silly season time, folks!

Speaking of rumors...Rafa to take over at Real Madrid? Oh, boy.

Now is the time on SSN when we Scribe!

Where? Spain. Who? Sid Lowe. What? Eibar left with a bitter taste after suffering relegation 

Where? South America. Who? Tim Vickery. What? Four players who may prove pivotal in Copa Libertadores quarterfinals

Where? Germany? Who? Uli Hesse. What? Darmstadt's improbable rise to the Bundesliga

Where? Italy. Who? Paolo Bandini. What? Totti has the final say after Roma leave rivals Lazio on edge
Screech makes his mark...
Let's see. What else? Raphael Honigstein has his Bundesliga 2014-15 Best XI. What else? Garth Crooks has a Team of the Season for the EPL. What else? Good times in Turkey. What else? Premier League Report Cards, beginning with Liverpool's "F." What else? Major League Soccer.

And finally...some people were none too pleased that soccer took over the TeeVee on Sunday.



Friday, May 22, 2015

Final Weekend in England, Spain, Germany, MLS Preview, Middlesbrough vs. Norwich City, Gerrard vs. Lampard

And there goes another week, Peeps! We missed yesterday due to a small fire, so we'll let Paolo get you caught up on what the Coppa Italia means to Juventus. And then we'll get right to the previews for Championship Sunday!! Too bad for NBC that the only thing that really matters is who will be the final club relegated. Will it be Hull? Will it be Newcastle?

10 Things To Look Out For This Weekend (includes lower divisions)

They call it the biggest game in club football because of the money at stake. This year, it's Boro vs. Norwich for the right to return to the Premier League. It's not until Monday, but here's a Preview to get you excited.

It's also the last weekend of action for La Liga. Sid Lowe is here to talk about the relegation battle. There's always something dodgy going on at the bottom, is there not...?

Shit's about to wrap up in Das Bundesliga, too. And, like the other top European leagues, the title was decided long ago and the question marks all surround relegation. There are six (!) teams still in the mix. Raphael Honigstein is on the case.

Back Stateside, Major League Soccer has a full slate of matches to enjoy. Here's a Preview for the weekend. Deuce is attempting to set some sort of record, apparently. More? Here.

So Stevie G and Fatty Frank are both headed this way. Gerrard goes to Los Angeles and Lampard goes to New York. Who was better? Phil McNulty takes a look at the English legends. Not going to MLS? Xavi. He's going to Qatar.

There's a Top Tenner today. It's Top 10 memorable moments of the Premier League season.

And finally...a free pint for Leicester fans!



Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Marina Hyde on Qatar, Coppa Italia Final

Hump Day has arrived yet again. And it's all a bit quiet. There's a match later - Arsenal vs. Sunderland. A draw at the Emirates would mathematically ensure that Sunderland stay in the Premier League, and leave Newcastle and Hull to fight it out for the last relegation spot on the final day of the season. Here's a Preview of that one.

Over in Italy, Juventus are still in the hunt for The Treble and will attempt to claim their second trophy of the campaign when they face Lazio at the Stadio Olimpico this evening in Rome. Check out the action on beIN Sport USA at 2:45 p.m. EDT.

Qatar. Marina Hyde is wondering how many have to die so this country can host the World Cup. Will SPECTRE FIFA actually do something about it? Doubtful.

Raheem Sterling. Dude says he wants out of Liverpool. What has he done to garner interest from "bigger" clubs? Nothing. He was justifiably booed at the awards dinner last night. But, is he just a scapegoat for bigger issues? Jim White says Liverpool have plenty of other problems to worry about.

And finally...who makes the money?



Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Odd Cesc Red, Sid Lowe on Barcelona, Middlesbrough Misspelled, Copa Libertadores, BBC Qatar Account

Where is Middlesborough?
Well, hello! Yesterday's match in the Premier League did not go as expected. Hopefully you were able to catch some of it. West Brom won 3 - 0 and Cesc Fabregas saw red for kicking the ball at the Bromies. It was all very weird. Stuart James was at The Hawthorns and filed this report. John Brewin has Three Points.

So, just how does Cesc's red stack up to the 10 dumbest red cards in world football? Let's have a look.

The Premier League season is coming to a close, and tactical guru Michael Cox is already looking back. Here are his Performances of the Season.

Meanwhile, in the United States and Canada, the season is just getting going. That's because, you know, we do things differently here. 'MERICA! Anyway, Jeff Carlisle talked to Benny and Charlie about how the MLS has changed, and Bird's got a Weekend Review along with Power Rankings. More? How about L.A.'s stadium and what it means for Minneapolis?

Now is the time on SSN when we Scribe!

Where? Germany. Who? Raphael Honigstein. What? Bayern down tools, Schalke in meltdown and monkey business for Stuttgart

Where? France. Who? Julien Laurens. What? PSG on course for historic season 

Where? South America. Who? Tim Vickery. What? Crucial quarterfinal clashes loom in the Copa Libertadores

Where? Germany? Who? Andy Brassell. What? Gladbach plan for more success after reaching Champions League

How about a look at Premier League ineptitude? Should be fun, right? It is. Not fun? Getting arrested for attempting to document the shitshow that is Qatar 2022. We noted the arrests previously. The BBC's man has now released his account of his trip.

Podcast! Well, listeners, the end is in sight, and on today's Football Weekly, AC Jimbo has Barry Glendenning, Jonathan Wilson and Paul MacInnes doing their damndest to make sure it doesn't end just yet. We start with the final piece of the relegation jigsaw. Hull occupy the dreaded 18th place going in to the final weekend, having had a shocking week both on and off the pitch. Newcastle, meanwhile, went down 2-1 at QPR. If only Middlesbrough and Norwich could replace them both … Away from the Premier League, we compile the Football Weekly A to Z, covering everything from the A League to Zenit St Petersburg's league triumph. We'll need your help please, listener, to fill in the blanks. Finally, we hear from Sid Lowe about Barcelona's title triumph and the latest on David de Gea's much-mooted move to Real Madrid.

Raheem Sterling wants to leave Liverpool. Phil McNulty says it really wouldn't be a big deal if he were to do so.

And finally...Oops!



Monday, May 18, 2015

Barcelona Win La Liga, United and Arsenal Draw, Norwich vs. Boro For Premier League Return, Boca Kicked Out of Copa Libertadores

And...a very pleasant Monday to you! Barcelona won the Primera Liga the hard way yesterday, defeating Atlético Madrid on the road 0 - 1, and prompting the cava to flow. Who got the goal for Barca, you ask? Who do you think? Sid Lowe was at the Vicente Calderón and filed this report. The Treble beckons...

Back in the UK, United and Arsenal drew, Manchester City beat Swansea, Crystal Palace crashed Stevie G's party, Southampton thumped Villa (Sadio Mane scored the fastest hat trick in Premier League history), and QPR beat Newcastle. Here's your lot:

Liverpool 1 - 3 Crystal Palace: Andy Hunter at Anfield
Swansea 2 - 4 Manchester City: Three Quick Observations
Manchester United 1 - 1 Arsenal: Phil McNulty at Old Trafford
Manchester United 1 - 1 Arsenal: Daniel Taylor at Old Trafford
Manchester United 1 - 1 Arsenal: Three Quick Observations

Later this month, Wembley will host the mega-money match as Boro and Norwich City compete to see who will make a return to the Premier League. Boro beat Brentford and Norwich dispatched of Ipswich over the weekend.

Barcelona are champs in Spain. How did they do it? Andy West has 10 reasons right here, yo. And here are Three Things We Learned from the match in Madrid. What else did we learn in La Liga this weekend? Hit the link.

In Italy, Inter Milan couldn't beat Juventus at the San Siro and neighbors AC Milan lost on the road to Sussudio. Not a pretty campaign for two of Italy's giants. What else? Cagliari were relegated and Roma moved up to second. Here's a wee review.

We noted the idiocy at La Bombonera last week. Don't worry, Boca fans, you won't be able to return to the ground to see your side play for awhile. Fools.

There's Monday Night Football tonight. It's not terribly meaningful, but knowing the matches are about to dry up, it might be worth your time. West Brom vs. Chelsea. Here's a Preview.

Oh, and don't forget Major League Soccer. Here are Five Things We Learned from the USA/Canada league over the weekend.



Friday, May 15, 2015

Last Anfield Appearance For Gerrard, Superclásico Abandoned, St. Pauli Issues

Hey, now! There goes another one. We're getting down to the end of it all. What happened to the season? Geez. Let's get to the weekend shiznit, beginning with the UK and all that.

So. We know the Champions League Final will be Juventus vs. Barcelona. What about the Europa League Final? Why, it's Sevilla vs. Dnipro Dnipropeptreptakniptrovsk!

A bunch of idiots at La Bombonera forced the the Superclásico Copa Libertadores matchup between Boca and River to be abandoned. Great. Nice work, assholes.

Italy? Serie A? Here's a Weekend Preview as clubs scramble to qualify for Europe. Spain? Barcelona can win the whole bloody thing if they can beat Atlético Madrid at the Vicente Calderón. Here's your Weekend Preview for La Liga.

There is a Joy of Six today. It's...Sporting Insults! Look out! Top Tenner? Why, it's got to be...The 10 best moments of Steven Gerrard's Liverpool career!!

Is there hope for English managers? Richard Williams makes the claim that there is, thanks to Tim Sherwood and Gary Monk.

Kirsten Schlewitz got in with some Fiorentina supporters. Embedded, as it were. Here's her report.

And finally...No Dinner For You!!



Thursday, May 14, 2015

Juventus Oust Real Madrid, La Liga Strike Won't Happen, Friedel to Retire

Well, now. Ronny and Co. will not be involved in the Champions League Final. Juventus made sure of that last night, with a 1 - 1 draw and 3 - 2 aggregate win. Most around SSN Headquarters were pleased with the result. There's not much to like about that Real Madrid team, and (unlike in years past) this Juve side is actually rather attractive, what with Old Man Pirlo covering the midfield in his Rascal and Alice Cooper Gigi Buffon keeping things clean at the back. And now we've got a final featuring Luis Suárez and his old buddies Patrice Evra (a little racial slur incident) and Giorgio Chiellini (a little biting incident) Anyway, here's the fallout:

Real Madrid 1 - 1 Juventus (agg. 2 - 3): Sid Lowe at Santiago Bernabéu
Real Madrid 1 - 1 Juventus (agg. 2 - 3): Three Quick Things
Gabriele Marcotti: What next for Real Madrid?

They will finish the La Liga season after all. They talked to the judge and he said that a strike would be illegal. So that's that. Barcelona have it all to lose.

Back to Munich for a second. What's Pep going to do next? Will he stay? Is Bayern broken? Can he fix it? We shall see...

More matches today! The Europa League needs a final, too. We'll see if Fiorentina can overturn their deficit against Sevilla and whether Napoli or Dnipro Dnipropeptreptakniptrovsk will prevail.

Robin van Persie. He was pretty good. He was pretty good very recently. What's happened? Richard Jolly is on the case.

Brad Freidel will retire. It will happen. Finally. Sticking with U.S. stuff, Grant Wahl has a few notes of note. He has an update on Bob Bradley, for example.

Ashley Cole's got the same problem as RVP. He went to Roma but now he doesn't play.

That's it for today. Ta!



Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Barcelona Advance, Turkish Football Violence, Juventus vs. Real Madrid, Sepp Blatter and the FBI

Crowd trouble at Manchester Under-21 Derby

Is it Hump Day already? Geez. Where does the time go? Anyway, as expected, Barcelona booked their ticket to Berlin last night despite a 3-2 loss in Munich. Bayern got the first goal to give them a hint of hope, but Neymar ended any optimism the hosts had shortly thereafter. Here's your lot:

Bayern Munich 3 - 2 Barcelona (agg. 3 - 5): Barney Ronay at the Allianz Arena
Bayern Munich 3 - 2 Barcelona (agg. 3 - 5): Three Things We Learned

We knew the situation in Turkey wasn't good. But, we had no idea about the extent of the troubles over there. This is an excellent look at the worrying state of Turkish Football. Violence is killing the game.

Today! The other tie. Go:

Real Madrid vs. Juventus: Preview I
Real Madrid vs. Juventus: Preview II

Nice! Javier Zanetti's Champions League Dream Team!

And Sepp Blatter avoiding the U.S. due to an FBI investigation?