Ribéry Has Buttock Injury, Weekend Previews, Vidic To Leave United, World Cup Wide Seat For The Obese, The Gentleman Ultra Profiles Catania

Oh! And there goes another week. Good. We're ready for some football! Liverpool vs. Arsenal? Check. Lazio vs Roma? Check. Chelsea vs. Newcastle? Check. Sevilla vs. Barcelona? Check. Swansea vs. Cardiff? Check. Tottenham vs. Everton? Check. Napoli vs. AC Milan? Check. Dundee United vs. St. Mirren? Not so much.

The BPL. The Barclays Premier League. The British Premier League? Here's your lot:

Premier League Preview

10 things to look out for this weekend

John Cross: Liverpool clash can set the tone for Arsenal's season

Andy Hunter: Liverpool confident their miserable Anfield run against Arsenal will end

Jeff Stelling: Swansea v Cardiff could be the last Welsh derby in top flight for awhile

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro's Predictions

Here's your Headline of the Day: U.S. captain Dempsey keen to regain top form. Ahem. Yes, well, we should hope so. Maybe going to Seattle wasn't such a hot move, Deuce.

Discounted seat for the obese...

Spain! Atlético Madrid took over the top spot last week. Can they defend their lead? Here's your complete La Liga Weekend Preview.

We did mention the Rome Derby above, did we not? Yes, we did. Good. Here's your complete Serie A Weekend Preview. Sticking with Italy, The Gentleman Ultra has graced us with a profile of Catania's ground, fans and classic player Giuseppe Mascara. Grazie Mille!

Are you a large person? Do you plan on attending the World Cup? You're in luck.

We knew is was coming but it's bad timing for Manchester United. Nemanja Vidic has confirmed he'll leave the club at the end of the season. Sure, his best years are behind him but it's not really the morale boost United need right now.

Once again this year, the race for the final Champions League spot looks to go down to the wire. Liverpool, Everton, Tottenham and Manchester United are the sides in question. Let's examine their chances, shall we?

Adam Johnson's career has suddenly restarted. He's notched seven in seven and might snare a spot on the plane to Brazil. Louise Taylor takes a closer look at his up and down history.

Oh, Andrea Pirlo. What's not to love? He is the coolest man in football.

No Joy of Six today for some reason but we do have a Top Tenner. It's Returning Heroes. Think Mark Hughes.

David Hytner interviews Per Mertesacker. Right...Here.

And finally...Ouch! Frank Ribéry burst a blood vessel in his buttock. Ouch! Ouch!

Onward!!

-SSN

Real Win First Leg and Marcelo Racially Abused by Atlético Fans, Barcelona Cruise, Honigstein on Dortmund, Golden Balls Loves Miami

Good Morning, friends. It would seem that we've got another Clásico to look forward to after Real Madrid and Barcelona won their respective first-leg Copa del Rey clashes yesterday. Graham Hunter was at the Bernabeu and filed this report on the fiery Derby. Sadly, Marcelo was subjected to racial abuse by the Atlético fans after the match ended. 

They then chanted: "Marcelo is a monkey." When Marcelo's young son came out and hugged his father soon after, the chant changed to: "May your father die."

On a far lighter note, Golden Balls is going to get his MLS team, most likely in Miami, his newest love. He thinks he'll be able to get some quality talent to come to the Sunshine State. This will be interesting.

Ronny gets rough...

Do you care to know Why the Premier League Is the Most Powerful League in the World? 

Borussia Dortmund have had a tough run this season in the Bundesliga. Injuries have hit the club particularly hard this campaign. German expert Raphael Honigstein takes a closer look.

Henry Winter wants to talk Jack Wilshire. Is the British Bulldog set to become England's next captain? Winter thinks so.

We think that'll do for today.

Onward!!

-SSN

Madrid Derby, Swansea Sack Laudrup, Jonathan Wilson on Carlos Tevez, Paul Wilson on Luis Suárez, Jeff Carlisle on Juan Agudelo, Poor Fulham

And a pleasant Hump Day to you and yours. Sadly, not so pleasant for Michael Laudrup. No, the former KB, Brondby, Lazio, Juventus, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Vissel Kobe, and Ajax star was sacked by Swansea. And so...as is tradition at SSN...he gets this. And a £4.5million pay-off. So, it's not all bad.

Right. What else is up today? We don't usually have time for cup competitions in Europe, but Spain gives us a couple of juicy fixtures today. There is a Madrid Derby in one semi-final first leg of the Copa del Rey and you're looking at Barcelona vs. Real Sociedad in the other. Not bad. Real Madrid vs Atlético Madrid is at 2pm EST and Barcelona vs. Real Sociedad is at 4pm EST. Both are on beIN Sport USA.

Pretty great: Jurgen Klopp photobombs a fan's selfie with Marco Reus

Here's your Headline of the Day: Child sex warnings to air on World Cup flights from England

Juan Agudelo. Remember that guy? He wants to go to Brazil with the U.S. this summer. He's currently plying his trade in Holland. Jeff Carlisle checks in with the 21-year-old striker.

Per usual, a couple of good articles in The Guardian today. Paul Wilson thinks Luis Suárez skill and industry can push Liverpool higher than fourth place. Jonathan Wilson writes that Carlos Tevez should be at his peak, but is destined for World Cup despair.

And, finally. Poor Fulham. Poor, poor Fulham.

Onward!!

-SSN

Mourinho Masterclass = Chelsea Victory At Manchester City, Scribes, Euro Clubs Coming This Summer, #AskCarrick

Did your parents help you with that project?

And a fine Tuesday to you! Yesterday's mega match lived up to the hype. Instead of parking the proverbial bus, The Special One decided to have a go. And quite the "go" it was. Although they only left the Etihad with a 1 - 0 victory, Chelsea could have notched many more. City's defense was atrocious. And the fact that a club can spend £2,289,089,790,445,220 on talent and still have to play Demichelis out of position is quite simply absurd. The guy's not the youngest, most mobile, or best passing defender to begin with. Put him in the midfield and you're screwed. Anyway, everyone is talking about it, as you might expect. Rock the lowdown:

Daniel Taylor at the Etihad Stadium

Phil McNulty: Chelsea boss outwits his Man City rival

Jonathan Wilson: Mourinho and Chelsea's remarkable tactical transformation

John Brewin: Measured Mourinho stays calm in victory

Michael Cox: Mourinho surprises all with tactics at Manchester City

Three Things

Player Ratings

The transfer window might be closed but that doesn't mean your club can't add a player or two. Fancy a David Bentley? Jermaine Pennant? Didn't think so. Damn. Karma's a bitch, lads, innit?

It is Tuesday and this week that means it's time for Monday Musings from Gab. Today, Gab gabs this: Real's big club struggles, Utd stumble again, Barca problems, more. Gab on Gab.

The Guinness International Champions Cup will return to the U.S. of A. this summer. That's nice. Primarily because Guinness is good for you. If you're into this sort of thing and care to see Real Madrid, Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool, AC Milan, Inter Milan, Roma and/or Olympiakos, well, you're in luck.

Comfortably residing in the, "REALLY!?!" category is Manchester United's #AskCarrick Twitter campaign. Who's the marketing genius who came up with this gem? You simply cannot make this stuff up.

Want to see the world? Screw the Navy. Check out The Scribes, yo! 

Paolo Bandini (Italy): Juventus expose Inter's frailties; Napoli's freakishly bad day; an embarrassing dad turns cool

Tim Vickery (Brazil/Argentina): Ever Banega is Europe's loss, Argentina's gain

Sid Lowe (Spain): Atlético Madrid's rise to the top the perfect tribute to Luis Aragonés

Sam Kelly (Argentina): The other side of a quiet transfer market

Raphael Honigstein (Germany): Perfect Bayern challenge Bundesliga to raise game, not the white flag

We'll conclude today with Peter Berlin. He looks back at the complete weekend in the Premier League, including yesterday's game.

Onward!!

-SSN

Barcelona Lost At Home, Stoke Beat Manchester United, Juventus Beat Inter, Ronaldo Sees Red In Real Draw, Touré In Schoolboy Gaff, Monday Night Football, U.S. Beat South Korea

Huh? Wah?

Happy Monday! There was some hot footie action over the weekend. Before we get to all of that, though, let's look at tonight's Monday Night Football Super Mega Clash featuring Manchester City and Chelsea. It's on NBCSN at 3pm EST. As expected, The Special One has initiated the mind games. Here's your lot:

Manchester City vs. Chelsea: Preview

Manchester City vs. Chelsea: Preview II

Squad Sheets

The Magnificent Seven

Paul Merson's Prediction

OK, enough of what might happen. What did happen? Kolo Touré had a howler that allowed West Brom to draw with Liverpool. Arsenal suddenly had an Ox in the Box as they beat Palace 2 - 0. Manchester United lost to two goals from Charlie Adam. Yes, you read that correctly. Charlie Adam. Tottenham could only manage a draw at Mrs. Doubtfire's Hull City. Southampton rolled over a feeble Fulham side that look to be going down. Here's your lot:

Dissecting the Weekend

10 Talking Points

Quick Six

Best of the Weekend

Stoke City 2 - 1 Manchester United: Jamie Jackson at the Britannia Stadium

Richard Jolly on West Brom vs. Liverpool: Three Things

Arsenal 2 - 0 Crystal Palace: Dominic Fifield at the Emirates Stadium

Hull City 1 - 1 Tottenham: Richard Gibson at the KC Stadium

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Well, look at this! The PM has gotten involved in football in England. He wants his people to be able to watch the World Cup at their local. David Cameron tweeted: "I have ordered a rethink on pub opening times for England's World Cup games - will consult with pub trade, police and councils." Why anyone would want to watch England is a question for another day.

Here's question for today: Why did Arsene Wenger sign an injured player? David Hytner finds the whole thing rather bizarre.

In Spain,  Atlético Madrid are all by their lonesome at the top of the table after Barcelona lost at Camp Nou (gasp!) to Valencia and Real Madrid were held at Bilbao 1 - 1 as Ronaldo received a straight red card. Here's a weekend review and a table.

Who are you?

Over in Italy, the Derby d'Italia was a bit of a bust as Juventus had little trouble with a faltering Inter Milan side. Juve are now nine points clear at the top after Roma and Parma had to bail (oh!) on their match due to rain. Here's a weekend review and a table.

And in Germany, Bayern Munich continue to flatten and destroy all in their wake. They crushed Frankfurt 5 - 0 and now sit 13 points ahead of their closest rivals. They've gone 44 matches in the league without a defeat. Be afraid. Be very afraid...

The United States had a little friendly out in L.A. at the StubHub over the weekend. Wando scored two and they defeated South Korea. Here are Three Thoughts. And here's a report.

The transfer window is uhhhhhhhh...closed. Thank The Lord Jesus H. Allah Maradona. Phil McNulty has his Winners and Losers.

And finally, just who is Manuel Pellegrini? Jamie Jackson enlightens us.

Act like you know.

Onward!!

-SSN