Zamorano & Salas, Big Weekend in England, Spanish Quiniela, Dani Alves

This is fun. From that stupid awards thingy the other day:

What's gone wrong with Dani Alves? The guy used to be top-notch. He's now out of the Barcelona XI and caught in a downward spiral. Not that we're too upset about it over here at SSN Headquarters. The guy's a punk. Tactical expert Michael Cox examines his fall from grace.

Sid Lowe says this: La Liga dominance at FIFA awards reflect troubling reality. And he's right.

Bang. Right to The Joy of Six. Caught you off guard there, right? This Friday's edition is Unlikely Football Heroes. Jimmy Glass, anyone?

Sunday is a big, big day in the English Premier League. Manchester United host Liverpool in the early match, and Arsenal host Manchester City in the later kick-off. Van Persie vs. Suarez! Howard Webb is the ref! Hype it up, yo! Elsewhere you've got a London Derby as Spurs head over to face old gaffer 'Arry at Loftus Road, wounded Chelsea face a tricky trip up to Stoke, and Everton host Swansea. Here's your preview of all the upcoming action.

Ten Things To Look Out For

Lawro's Predictions  

"Whatever he does, Luis Suarez is going to get a lot of stick from the home fans and, if he doesn't have a great day, then I don't know where Liverpool's goals are going to come from."

Paul Merson's Predictions

Remember Ivan Zamorano and Marcelo Salas? Those guys were awesome. They rocked it for Chile back in the 90s. Zamorano had some great years at Inter Milan and Real Madrid, while Salas was a rock for a monster Lazio squad. Here's a nice remembrance.

Apparently football grounds aren't full of old white men after all. The Telegraph's Jim White explains...

Back to La Liga for just a moment. Eduardo Alvarez offers up his Quiniela for our pleasure. Barcelona go to Malaga. Malaga currently sit fourth in the table. Might the mighty Barca drop points? We're wondering if Yank Abroad Gooch will start and face a well-rested Messi. If so, it could get messy. Cough.

Right! The Mill! Your Plus One! Balotelli to Milan? Pep to Chelsea?

And finally, what's on tap for Serie A this weekend? Read the bloody preview and you'll find out.

That's your lot for this week. Enjoy the footie over the weekend. Until Monday...

Onward!!

-SSN

1995, What's in your Wallet?, Transfer Guff, Wasted, Association of Prostitutes

Right! We had to close SSN Headquarters unexpectedly yesterday. Sorry about that. Everything is fine and there were no major injuries.

So, what did we miss? The hookers in Belo Horizonte are going to learn foreign languages to ease their transactions during the World Cup. OK. There is actually some called the Association of Prostitutes and their president made the announcement. Don't say football never helped anyone improve themselves...

The BBC has a nice little piece with Paolo Di Canio. Never one to shy from controversy, Di Canio boasts about his Christmas roast.

Di Canio in one of his finer moments...

Sticking with the BBC, they've got a series going called "Wasted". Andy van der Meyde was the most recent subject. The former Dutch star talks about how injuries and alcohol ruined his promising career.

Actual football. Yes, there was a bit of that. The What's in your Wallet? Cup threw up another nice one yesterday. Everyone's favorite underdogs Swansea swatted Chelsea aside in their first-leg semi-final match at Stamford Bridge. The day before, Bradford City piled more misery on Aston Villa by triumphing 3-1. Dom Fifield was at the Chelsea match. Barney Ronay was there too, and he saw Michu make Torres the sadder Spaniard. There will be some interesting second legs. Let's hope they're on U.S. TV.

Yup. 1995.

Americans Abroad. We've not gotten an update for a while. Let's remedy that situation. Here's one dude: 

Stuart Holden, M, Bolton -- Not in the 18 for Bolton's 1-0 loss to Leeds United on Tuesday or a 2-2 draw with Sunderland in the third round of the FA Cup on Saturday. The two teams have their replay slated for Jan. 15. According to Bolton's website, Holden is slated to play in a reserve match Tuesday, which would mark his first competitive action since returning to training after more than a year on the sidelines with a knee injury. 

And here are the rest.

1995 was a good year for us at SSN. It was also a good year for Andy Cole. The marksman left Newcastle for Manchester United. It proved a very, very wise move. His partnership with Dwight Yorke produced some of the finer moments in EPL history. Jon Carter Rewinds to 1995 to take a look. 

The Big Interview is Chris Samba. Check it. The Congolese defender on playing for Anzhi Makhachkala, the reality of racism in Russia and his fears for his former club, Blackburn Rovers.

We'll finish with The Mill and your Plus One. Looks like Wesley Sneijder is headed to Turkey. So there.

Onward!!

-SSN

Podcast, Awards, Transfer Guff, Phil Ball, Paolo Bandini, ANC, More USA

We're not big fans of awards in soccer. Never have been. They're useless in the world in which we live.  Messi won the Ballon d'Or. Great. No surprise there. The best thing about the whole affair was his absurd tuxedo. We already know the players in Spain are dominating things at the moment. We don't need FIFA or anyone else to tell us that. Jonathan Wilson agrees. But, since Spain is dominating, we'll go to Sid Lowe for his take on the whole shebang. Apparently it's a big deal for some folks. This would be cool, though. EPL best vs. La Liga best in a two-legger.

Sticking in Spain, let's catch up with Phil Ball and his first post of 2013. It's a good one. Phil was in London for the holidays and took a Spanish mate to Craven Cottage. He also got stick for writing White Storm. Good stuff as always from perhaps our favorite scribe.

Here's The Mill. Here's your Plus One. Not too much is going on, unfortunately. Barcelona say Villa isn't going anywhere. Some people are saying Fatpard is going to ManU. Some people are saying Fatpard is going to the assGalaxy. Does anyone really care?  

The African Nations Cup begins later this month. Not playing: Seven-time winners Egypt, Cameroon, and Senegal. Here's a preview. And here is Jonathan Wilson on the difficulties Nigeria and Ghana are having with big egos.

Ready to replace Lampard...?

As we mentioned yesterday, The Diving German announced his squad for the USA training camp. Grant Wahl reckons it could be a good opportunity for some newbies to boost their stock.

The holiday break is over in Italy and that means Paolo Bandini is back at work. He looks at the weekend action in Serie A. And Sid posted on the La Liga fixtures, as well. Here.

Tuesday! Podcast! Here: James Richardson's back in the extra comfy presenter's chair for today's Football Weekly, and he's got Barry Glendenning, Tom Lutz and James Horncastle to keep him company as we look back at all the romance and hi-jinx from the weekend's FA Cup games. We kick things off by tut-tutting naughty Luis Suárez after his handball provided Liverpool's safe passage over plucky Mansfield, before taking in Demba Ba's goalscoring debut for Chelsea, Newcastle's defeat at Brighton, and Arsenal's 2-2 draw with Swansea. Next, there's a bumper Serie A section, paying particular attention to matters at AC Milan, including Kevin-Prince Boateng's stand against racism and the sale of the once mercurial Alexandre Pato. Finally, we hear from Sid Lowe about the continuing hoo-haa between José Mourinho and Iker Casillas at Real Madrid, before finishing up by getting as excited as possible about this week's Capital One Cup semi-finals.

And finally...Ronaldo has decided to go to school in England. The Brazilian legend plans to study advertising. SSN wishes him all the best.

Onward!!

-SSN

The Cup, Serie A returns with Lazio racism, La Liga, USA Roster

Good Day!  The third round of the FA Cup went down over the weekend. Sadly, things went according to plan for the most part in that there were no upsets that we'd deem "major".

Yank Abroad Clint Dempsey had a fine match as Spurs dispatched Coventry and assured there would be no repeat of 1987. RVP saved Manchester United yet again with an injury time equalizer to get The Reds a replay against West Ham. Joe Cole played for the Hammers and played quite well, setting up both goals for his new/old club. Arsenal and Swansea will also do it all over again at the Emirates after a late flurry of goals left the sides even at two apiece. Elsewhere, Demba Ba took no time to settle at Chelsea as he notched a brace in the Blues' victory.

The home of Mansfield Town

Alas, leave it up to Luis Suárez to provide the talking point (Here are nine others) of the round. The Uruguayan asshole used his hand to score the winner at Mansfield. Phil McNulty took in all the action at Field Mill and goes easy on Luis. Daniel Taylor was there as well and is not so forgiving. Jan Molby thinks it's time to give him a break. He's still an asshole, though.

Here's a Team of the Weekend for the FA Cup and the draw for Round Four. You want a review of all the weekend's action? Fine.

Italia. Land of wine, women, pasta, meat, beaches, mountains, stallions...we could go on and on. Also, sadly, home to another incident of racism as Serie A returned to action with a bang. No strangers to this sort of thing, Lazio fans apparently subjected Cagliari’s Victor Ibarbo to abuse on Saturday night. When will this shit stop? In actual competition, the big surprise was leader Juventus' loss to Sampdoria. Inter Milan also lost and Napoli crushed Yank Abroad Michael Bradley and Roma 4-1. Here's a wrap.

Football also returned to Spain and the thriller was between Real Madrid and Real Socieded. Madrid won 4-3. We'll check with Phil Ball tomorrow to get the deets. Barcelona won, so business as usual.

To quit or not to quit. That is the question.

Back in the USA, Jurgen Klinsmann named his roster for the upcoming training camp. Omar is back, but Lando gets a break to presumably search for his soul on the beach. Or something. Here's the roster:

Goalkeepers: Tally Hall (Houston), Bill Hamid (D.C.), Sean Johnson (Chicago)

Defenders: Steven Beitashour (San Jose), Tony Beltran (Salt Lake), Matt Besler (Kansas City), A.J. DeLaGarza (Los Angeles), Omar Gonzalez (Los Angeles), Connor Lade (New York), Alfredo Morales (Hertha Berlin, Germany), Justin Morrow (San Jose), Jeff Parke (Philadelphia)

Midfielders: Kyle Beckerman (Salt Lake), Alejandro Bedoya (no club), Brad Davis (Houston), Mix Diskerud (Rosenborg, Norway), Brad Evans (Seattle), Benny Feilhaber (Kansas City), Josh Gatt (Molde, Norway), Graham Zusi (Kansas City)

Forwards: Juan Agudelo (Chivas USA), Will Bruin (Houston), Edson Buddle (Colorado), Eddie Johnson (Seattle), Chris Wondolowski (San Jose)

Yikes! We almost forgot about transfers. David Villa? Luka Modric? Giuseppe Rossi? Here's The Mill and here's your Plus One.

We're comfortable with leaving it at that for this Monday.

Onward!!

-SSN

More on Milan and Racism, FA Cup, SWP

We've got to stick with Kevin Prince-Boateng's and AC Milan's actions in the friendly against Pro Patria. Thankfully, more media are picking up on the story and giving it the attention it deserves and requires. James Horncastle has a good look and includes some interesting quotes from prominent footballers.

The transfer window remains open. Demba Ba now plays for Chelsea. Joe Cole has returned to West Ham where he began his career way back in 1999. Newcastle picked up French International Defender Mathieu Debuchy. Roger Espinoza has traded Kansas City for Wigan. And that's really about it thus far. Here's The Mill and here's your Plus One.

Grant Wahl has something odd called "Ambition Rankings" for Major League Soccer clubs. Check it out and decide what it's all about.

Shaun Wright-Phillips returned to the headlines with his winner for QPR against Chelsea on Wednesday. Barney Ronay is wondering if SWP is perhaps pound-for-pound the most disappointing English footballer ever. Ronay also thinks SWP (now 31) peaked when he was 23 (he did). Theo Walcott and Daniel Sturridge are now 23. Cue scary music.

Ready to party like it's 1999...

Here's some sad news that you don't care about: Sergio Aguero and Diego Maradona's daughter are breaking up. We told you you wouldn't care...

The English FA Cup resumes tomorrow. The Third Round. The romance, the memories, the intrigue. Minnows vs. Giants. Yes, it's Cup football time and it's the one that really matters. This is the FA Cup, damnit! Not the What's in Your Wallet Cup! Let's bust out of the gates with THE ULTIMATE GUIDE. And here's another little preview. 

And this: Gary Neville picks his best XI from first half of Premier League season and his top three goals.

Enough of the UK, though. Spain is the place, really. Graham Hunter has Five Spanish Stories for 2013. Oddly enough, The Sun Also Rises is not one of them.

Finally, kudos to West Ham's Matt Jarvis for sticking his neck out against homophobia in football.

Onward!!

-SSN

Mancini & Balotelli Fisticuffs, Racism in Italy, QPR beat Chelsea

It's always nice to wake up to some training ground fisticuffs. It's really not a big deal -- this sort of thing happens all the time. But, when it involves Super Mario and Mancini, the media are going to jump all over it. Regardless, it's pretty funny. Can you imagine having to deal with Balotelli day in and day out? No wonder Mancini is at his wits' end.

Do you know what's not nice to see when you wake up? This shit. Good for Boateng and Milan for bailing on the match and getting the hell out of there. And props to Boateng for kicking the ball at the fans and making it obvious who the culprits were.


Transfers. Right. Ba to Chelsea is basically done. Sturridge to Liverpool is done. What else? Sadly, nothing concrete. Here's The Mill and your Plus One.

Luis Suarez. He's simply so easy to loath for so many reasons. The man can play, though. He was absolutely stunning yesterday as Liverpool brushed aside Sunderland 3-0. Richard Jolly was at Anfield. There were two other matches in the EPL yesterday. One of the results was Chelsea 0 - 1 Queens Park Rangers. Yes, you read that correctly. QPR cruised down to Stamford Bridge and beat Chelsea. To make matters worse for Chelsea, it was old boy Shaun Wright-Phillips who scored the winner. Quite the result, that. David Hytner was there.

Elsewhere, Everton won at Newcastle thanks to an absolute cracker of goal from Leighton Baines. It finished 2-1 in favor of the visitors. Michael Walker was there.

Points on which to talk.

Grant Wahl's Planet Futbol takes a look at MLS Commish Don Garber's response to FIFA Head Cunt Sepp Blatter's comments about MLS. Take a look.

Let's finish with our old pal Gabrielle Marcotti. He looks at the RVP to Manchester United move. There were a lot of skeptics when it went down. And there were a lot of reasons to be skeptical. So far, however, it's been a golden move for Sir Alex.

Onward!!

-SSN

Transfer Window Open, USA, EPL, Pato

Hello! Hopefully your introduction to 2013 went well. SSN wishes the best to you and yours for a footie-tastic new year.

Let's begin with the United States. It's a big year for the Yanks. We've got to qualify for Brazil. Jeff Carlisle knows his shit when it comes to this sort of subject. Here he looks at the Top 10 Storylines for 2013. Bring on the Hexagonal!!

Right. Matches in the EPL yesterday. There were some. And there really were not any shocking results. You had Man City winning easily against Stoke at home, Man United winning easily at Wigan, Tottenham breaking down some Reading resistance to win (Dempsey scored off a deflection), Arsenal drawing at Southampton (awful, awful match of soccer), and West Ham winning at home. Here's a Round-Up.

Today the menu is a bit meh: Liverpool host Sunderland, Everton at Newcastle, and a London Derby at Stamford Bridge where Chelsea host 'Arry and QPR. Speaking of QPR, do they have any chance of avoiding relegation? Jonathan Wilson takes a look.

In terms of what 2013 will bring to the English Premier League, Barney Ronay has a few thoughts. Where will Pep manage? Where will Bale play?

But, it IS January and that means the Transfer Window is wide open and The Mill is back from vacation at long last. Nothing major has gone down. Yet. Let's hope for some action. We've still got Sturridge to Liverpool and Ba to Chelsea as the two likely moves. Thierry Henry will not be returning to Arsenal. Here's your Plus One.

Pato + Unhappy Marriage = Shit Form?

Remember Alexandre Pato? Of course you do. The kid was supposed to be the next major Brazilian export. He had three solid seasons with Milan, but he's faded considerably and now looks like he's headed home. What went wrong? Tom Vickery fills us in. 

Diving has been getting a lot of press of late. Here's some more from Paul Wilson.

Meanwhile, in Spain, readers of Marca voted Song and Modric the worst signings of the season. So...OK.

Let's finish with The Hof at Manchester City...

Onward!!

-SSN

Happy New Year (plus a tad of weekend action and a pair of cunts)

The transfer window opens tomorrow. Things about to get all crazy up in here. The biggest story currently involves Dembe Ba and his potential move to Chelsea. Word is it was all but done but now it's hit a snag. We'll see how that plays out.

Best Goals of 2012? Yes. Bring it.

Over the weekend, there were no real surprises. Frank Lampard scored twice to help Chelsea beat Everton. RVP scored again for Manchester United in their win. Arsenal let in three soft goals against Newcastle but grabbed seven for themselves (Walcott with three) to get the win. Tottenham came back to win at Sunderland. Aston Villa let in three more goals at home against Wigan and lost 0-3. West Ham lost at Reading and Manchester City won a thriller at Norwich after Nasri (cunt) was sent packing.

We've got a whole other set of EPL matches mañana. None of the clashes are particularly exciting on paper but at least we've got footie to watch on New Years Day. No complaints here.

Buh By...

Speaking of cunts, Sepp Blatter has spoken. This time the idiot said this: "There is no very strong professional league (in the U.S.)," Blatter said. "They have just the MLS but they have no professional leagues which are recognized by the American society." Hey Sepp! Piss off!

We'll throw in The Podcast today. Here it is:

And so, 2012 comes to an end, and on the final Football Weekly of the year, James Richardson has Jacob Steinberg and watch-botherer John Ashdown in the pod to reflect the highs and lows of the Premier League weekend - including Liverpool's trouncing of QPR and Theo Walcott's humdinger of a hat-trick as Arsenal beat Newcastle 7-3. Amy Lawrence was at the Emirates to see it and shares her thoughts. Other items up for discussion include Samir Nasri's headbutt as Manchester City came away from Norwich with a 4-3 win, Chelsea seemingly not that bothered about Frank Lampard, and Aston Villa's continuing slump. Finally, we throw some love towards the lower leagues, giving some props to the return of tiki-taka's Alex McLeish and the sacking of Henning Berg at Blackburn.

We're going to leave it at that for today. We'll return to (fairly) normal service tomorrow. Enjoy the end of '12.

Onward!!

-SSN

WAGS, Phil Ball, Newcastle = "Wee Club", Previews

Michael Cox has emerged as one of the more astute tactical observers out there. Here he takes some time to simply look back at 2012 and give us his Top 10 moments, complete with video links. Number one will surprise you.

Yesterday we were treated to Grant Wahl's favorite stories of 2012. Today, Mr. Wahl grants (hah!) us access to his 10 soccer predictions for 2013. Here's number 10: Soccer will continue passing ice hockey in U.S. popularity. Works for us.

Yikes. We were already enveloped in Christmas travel and insanity and missed Phil Ball's dispatch from Spain last week. He looks at Mourinho's decision to drop Iker Casillas in the match against Malaga. Real Madrid went to lose said match. Cue shit hitting fan. Enjoy.

Sir Alex is all fired up, don't you know? In response to Alan Pardew saying the Man United boss should be punished for his sideline behavior (kettle? black?) during Wednesday's match in Newcastle, Fergie provided this gem: 'He's the worst for haranguing refs. He shoves them, then makes a joke. It's because I'm the boss of the most famous team in the world, not a wee club in the north-east...' Good stuff. May it continue apace. It does bring up the question, though. Is it one rule for Fergie and one for the rest? Duh. Henry Winter thinks Sir Alex is setting a bad example.

The bloody Mill is still on vacation! Where will David Villa go? Is Baines on the move? Falcao? Ronaldo? Beckham? Thank God for our Plus One.

OK, on to the English Premier League. We've got another round of fixtures this weekend. The final round of 2012. Can you believe it? Good grief. 2013. Anyway, the most intriguing match has to be Everton vs. Chelsea. That match on Sunday features two sides in the thick of things near the top. Elsewhere, leaders United host West Brom, City have a tricky trip to Norwich, Arsenal return to action against Newcastle at the Emirates, Sunderland host Spurs, and Liverpool are at QPR. Here's a preview.

And here are the necessary sides to go with that main course...

Lawro's Predictions

Merse's Predictions

Team News

10 Things to Look Out For

Let's finish with some WAGS. Frankly, it's been too long. Here's your lot.

Onward!!

-SSN

Boxing Day Action, Football Weekly, Bale or Rooney?, "To Zlatan", Transfers

Ho! Ho! Ho! 

We're glad Christmas is behind us and we can march forward to 2013. If you celebrate that holiday, we hope it went well for you and you're not stuck on the tarmac or on the highway staring at this:

If you don't celebrate that holiday, hopefully you were able to get some time off to do whatever you wanted to do.

The only people playing any soccer of note right now are in England. The EPL does not have a winter break (quite the opposite), so the action continued as we hung our stockings with care. The long and short of it is Manchester United have opened up a seven-point gap at the top of the table after a barnstorming win against Newcastle yesterday. The match included Sir Alex going nuts at the referees, but don't worry, he won't be punished. Shocking.

United's neighbors City couldn't score against Sunderland and went down to a goal from their old boy Adam Johnson. Hah! Hah! You know Mancini is covering his scarf with spit as he unloads a barrage of Italian invective. Have your Ten Talking Points, why don't you?

Everyone is talking about Berbatov's t-shirt. "KEEP CALM AND PASS ME THE BALL". Makes perfect sense to us. Elsewhere, Liverpool lost to Stoke and Bale grabbed three against Villa in Tottenham's victory. Poor Yank Abroad Brad Guzan. Dude's had to get the ball out of his net 12 (12!!!) times in the last two matches.

Speaking of Bale, my mate Mr. Dependable considers him to be superior to Wayne Rooney at the moment. We took an informal poll here at SSN Headquarters and nobody agrees with Mr. Dependable. So what do you think? Would you rather have Rooney or Bale? We simply think Rooney brings far more to a side than the swashbuckling winger that is Bale. We'd love to know your thoughts. Speaking of thoughts, Peter Berlin has FIVE. And here's a link to the table while we're at it.

So, are United clean and dry? Will they blow it? Here are some "expert" opinions.

Right. So what else is up? Grant Wahl has 10 favorite soccer stories from 2012 that he would like to share with you. They include U.S. TV's soccer splurge, U.S.A. women vs. Canada, and, quite simply, Lionel Messi. Check it.

The Transfer Window will open in five days! For some absurd reason, The Mill went on vacation. Thankfully, we have a Plus One.

Thank The Lord AC Jimbo and crew haven't bailed on us for some sort of holiday. They've provided a lovely podcast. On today's festive Football Weekly Extra, AC Jimbo has Jacob Steinberg and debutant/débutante Daniel Harris in the pod - as well as a cameo appearance from a late, soaking wet and bedraggled Barry Glendenning - to look back on all the action from Boxing Day, including Manchester United's dramatic 4-3 win over Newcastle and Gareth Bale's barnstorming display as Tottenham tonked Villa. Plus, they discuss Stoke's surprisingly stylish victory over Liverpool, wonder who'll be taking over at Nottingham Forest after Sean O'Driscoll was sacked, and ask which Premier League is the tastiest in a fight.

One more thing about the recent action in the EPL. Chelsea's David Luiz is now playing in the midfield. Tim Vickery is in South America and he reckons the move boosts Brazil's World Cup hopes.

Sweden. Bikini Teams. Dragon Tattoos. Zlatan. Sweden has added the verb ‘to Zlatan’ to their national dictionary. Indeed, the Swedish Language Council has approved the term, since it has been increasingly used in conversation by Swedes referring to an outlandishly talented action. How about that?

We'll finish by acknowledging that they are playing football in Turkey. Sort of...



Onward!!

-SSN

Champions League Draw and a Bit More

Right to the main story of the day. Here are the match-ups:

Galatasaray v FC Schalke

Celtic v Juventus

Arsenal v Bayern Munich

Shakhtar Donetsk v Borussia Dortmund

AC Milan v Barcelona

Real Madrid v Manchester United

Valencia v Paris St Germain

FC Porto v Malaga

Gabriele Marcotti breaks it down like this. You've got to say that Ronaldo's return to Old Trafford is the biggest story here. And if United oust Real, will The Special One get the sack? It all sets up nicely for some fun action beginning February. Michael Cox looks at the tactical side of things.

In the What's in Your Wallet Cup yesterday, Leeds got the first but Chelsea got the next five to advance to the semis. We thought the chance for the upset was there with all the traveling Chelsea's had to do. Credit to them, though, they worked through it.

Germany in 2012. What happened? According to the expert Raphael Honigstein, it was the year of broken dreams. Ahhhh. Regardless, we DO know that this hilarity ensued in Germany in 2012:


The rumors keep coming. The Mill has some and here's your Plus One.

Things are happening in Major League Soccer. Nobody is playing, but things are happening. At least that's what Jeff Carlisle says. Apparently New York and Kansas City are on the move. Take a look.

That's your lot!

Onward!!

-SSN

Gooch Goal, Fiver Christmas Awards, Zenit, Leeds and Chelsea, Parkhurst to Augsburg, Sturridge to Liverpool,

We had an interview link with American Abroad Michael Parkhurst yesterday. In said interview, he claimed he was ready to leave Denmark with the Bundesliga his most likely destination. Today news is he's signed for Augsburg. So, there you go. Another Yank in Germany.

We've got a Yank in Spain, too, and his name in Onyewu. He scored a goal in injury time to assure his Malaga side stay in the Copa del Rey. Way to go Gooch.

Leeds and Chelsea. Chelsea and Leeds. Certainly two of the rougher sides of the 60s and 70s. Well, they are set to resume their rivalry in the Capital One Cup this afternoon. Chelsea have just returned from their loss in Japan so it'll be interesting how they perform in this one. Another loss could really dampen spirits around the club. Here's a preview. And another look back at the two most likeable (cough) sides in English football.

Uli Hesse is in Germany. But, if you've been around SSN for any amount of time, you already knew that. The Bundesliga is hibernating for the winter. Relevant or redundant?

To The Mill! It's December 19, don't you know? Only a few more days until the transfer window opens wide with all its goodies. Apparently Daniel Sturridge to Liverpool is already a done deal. Here's your Plus One.

We heard about Zenit's fans wanting to keep players of color and non-heterosexuals out of the team. Thankfully, the club has responded properly. Jonathan Wilson is an expert in Eastern Europe. He's got a good column that looks at some of the nuances and culture at play.

Arsenal signs five British players to long term contracts and suddenly that's the strategy. Keep "local" players who will be more loyal to the club. Interesting. Jim White does not think it will work.

The Fiver. Everyone's favorite hilarious look at the footballing world. They've got their annual Christmas awards all lined up. Here's one to entice you:


THE OTTO FROM THE SIMPSONS AWARD FOR PARKING THE BUS
Chelsea in Big Cup. And yes, of course they're entitled to their bus but it doesn't mean the rest of us have to blow smoke up their nether regions for doing so. Besides, their fans had the last laugh – they've won Big Cup and look how happy they are now.


Let's complete the day's work with a look at Americans Abroad. Jozy just keeps scoring.

Onward!!

-SSN

Ronaldo Not Fat, Podcast, Napoli Docked, Scribes, MNF, Tactical Trends

Wow. Loads today. Let's bust out with the Podcast. Here's your breakdown: AC Jimbo welcomes Owen Gibson, Barry Glendenning and a festive Sean Ingle to the pod to discuss Aston Villa's destruction of Liverpool and QPR's first win this season. Elsewhere in the programme ... Chelsea come home beaten from Japan - will they be disorientated come Wednesday against Leeds? Has Marouane Fellaini played his last game for Everton? And was West Brom v West Ham the worst game this year? Owen Gibson has just come back from Qatar and has some interesting thoughts on how the 2022 tournament will play out. But can it possibly be played in the summer, as the Premier League would like? Plus we have time to cover your notes and queries, Sid Lowe ponders the plight of Real Madrid and there's more Serie A with James and Barry. Please leave your own thoughts on any of the above, below.

From James Richardson let's hop to Jonathan Wilson and his look at the tactics that dominated 2012. Possession football, strikers' struggles and Barcelona's passing and pressing were all in the mix.

There was actual football played yesterday. Arsène Wenger let Theo Walcott play up top and it proved a wise decision as Reading were defeated 2-5. Arsène knows, or so they say. Santi Cazorla had a hat-trick. Both defenses were terrible. Phil McNulty was there.

A quick shot of props to Ronaldo who has lost over 35 pounds during a variety show fitness program in Brazil. Here are the before and afters...

Meanwhile, over in Italy, Napoli have been docked two points and defenders Paolo Cannavaro and Gianluca Grava banned for six-months in the latest match-fixing action in Serie A. Napoli now fall to fifth in the table. Read about it here. Sticking in Italy, let's check out Paolo Bandini's latest submission. Paolo didn't know the Napoli news when he wrote, and ironically he wrote about how Bologna won at Napoli this weekend with a winner from a defender returning from a ban for failing to report an attempt to rig a result. It's the same offense that got Cannavaro and Grava banned. Wow.

Spain: Phil Ball is thinking about Mallorca. Sid Lowe says the title race is indeed over. Speaking of title races being over, Raphael Honigstein wonders if Bayern Munich might have a lock on the Bundesliga already. 

This is pretty funny. Apparently Chelsea's World Club Cup defensive tactics sheet was found in a dressing room trash can by some Brazilian reporter. 

Time for The Mill. Your rumors for Tuesday. Word is Newcastle are about to get that French bloke Loic Rémy. And your Plus One.

Graham Parker poses this question: Was Rafael Márquez the worst ever MLS designated player? Nery Castillo, anyone?

Michael Parkhurst. American Abroad. Denmark, specifically. Nordsjaelland, more specifically. You saw him play (and play well) in the Champions League. His contract is about to expire and he wants to move on up. Here's an interview.

And there you are.

Onward!!

-SSN

And We're Back!

Right. Let's jump in with the Club World Cup. You all thought Chelsea would cruise to the title, right? No so fast. Corinthians had different ideas and edged the Blues 1-0. Tim Vickery claims it's a watershed moment for South American clubs. Too bad for Chelsea, though. All the way to Japan just come up empty. At least they got to experience Beatlemania.

Back in their domestic league, the biggest surprise had to be Aston Villa's romp over Liverpool at Anfield. 3-1 in favor of the visitors with only a late consolation goal for Liverpool. Rodgers' reign is not going so well. Elsewhere, Fellaini headbutted Shawcross (ref didn't see it = he'll be banned) as Everton and Stoke drew, Spurs beat Swansea, United cruised, City should thank Cisse for his miss as they won at Newcastle, and West Ham and West Brom failed to score. How about Ten Talking Points? And Berlin has Five Thoughts.

And how about a Clint Dempsey interview? Everybody loves Clint, right? Right? Hmmmm.

Over in Europe Barcelona ensured that their clash with Atletico Madrid was disappointing by cruising to a 4-1 win. Falcao got one, but Messi got two. If you thought the La Liga title was still up in the air you can think again. Real Madrid could only draw at home with Espanyol. Barca are now nine clear of Atletico and THIRTEEN!! clear of Real. Done and dusted. More from Phil and Sid mañana.

In Italy Lazio beat Inter, Napoli lost, and Juventus won. Juve are now seven clear at the top with a host of clubs cluttered beneath them. Here's the table.

The Mill. We're almost January. Here's your Plus One.

Monday Night Football is Reading vs. Arsenal. 3pm EST on ESPN2. Here's a preview.

Sorry, but we've got to finish on a low note today. File under utterly disgusting: Zenit St. Petersburg's largest supporters group issued a manifesto demanding the team field an all-white, heterosexual team. Fuck you.

We out.

Onward!!

-SSN

SSN Headquarters Closed

There's a bad bug going around. Hopefully we can open tomorrow.

Moral Compass, The Mill, Scribes

It's not been the best of times for football on the social front of late. David Conn is wondering if the moral compass is gone. Lord Ouseley sure thinks it has. Terry, Suárez, Bassong, Evra. Ugh. Paul Hayward is convinced that football is now a toxic sport that is spinning out of control because it's not just racism. It's violence and anti-semitism, too. Social media is a problem as well. These pictures provide a nice summation of the madness. Perhaps "cultural lessons" will help. Hmmm. No.

Sorry to begin with such a downer but it's unavoidable. That said, let's move on. Fulham and Newcastle played last night at Craven Cottage. It was a win for the home side. Here's a report. Ben Arfa's goal was sublime for the losing side, by the way. Tonight is Sunderland vs. Reading. We really don't think a preview for that clash is necessary...


Also on the cards tonight -- The Capitol One Cup! Yes, everyone's favorite competition returns with a quarter-final match between Bradford City and Arsenal at Bradford's Coral Windows Stadium. Here's your preview.

The other quarter-final is Norwich vs. Villa. No preview for you!


Did you know that the Club World Cup is going on over in Japan? It's a worthless competition. Hiroshima vs. Auckland? No, thanks. Chelsea is over there, though, so the Japanese are pretty excited. We suppose it's good for them to be able to see Torres and crew in the flesh. Thanks to Tim Vickery, we now know why the tournament sucks. The fault lies with Santos FC, apparently.

It is Tuesday, after all, so that means we get to check in with our favorite correspondents around the globe. We already heard from Vickery (Brazil) so let's jump over to Honigstein (Germany). Raphael is wondering what is eating Schalke. They are in crisis mode, apparently. Have a look.

From Germany let's head down to see what Bandini (Italy) is getting into. Antonio Conte's four-month ban ended and he returned to guide Juventus to victory against Palermo. Have a look.

From Italy let's go see what Ball and Lowe (Spain) have on offer. Phil wants to talk Messi. Have a look. Sid wants to talk Messi. Have a look.

You want a dive? Here's a dive courtesy of Juve's Leonardo Bonucci. Impressive stuff, really.

Let's end with The Mill. Nani to Arsenal? Here's your Plus One.

Onward!!

-SSN

Manchester Derby Fallout And Other Stuff

Bloody Hell. Literally. Some clown in the stands at the Etihad hit Rio with a coin. It marred what was otherwise a great Manchester Derby. United won in the end when RVP's free-kick bounced off old pal Nasri's leg and eluded Joe Hart. Some other clown invaded the pitch to confront Ferdinand but thankfully Hart intervened. Can we not just have a great match and leave it at that? The idiot who came on the pitch now says he's sorry. It would appear to us that he simply does not want to get banned. Should have thought of that before you left your seat, pal. Moron. Are nets the solution?

Richard Jolly was there. As was Daniel Taylor. You want Talking Points? Here are FIVE. And we cannot forget Henry Winter. We were not there, but we watched, of course. Why did Mancini start Balotelli? Tevez on the bench? Foolish. For the Reds, Rooney was masterful.

Here's a great rant. Paddy Crerand completely loses it.

Right. What else happened over the course of the weekend? Well, Everton beat Tottenham in a thriller, Torres scored twice to lead Chelsea over Sunderland, Santi took a dive to help Arsenal win, and Liverpool (Joe Cole scored!) beat West Ham. Here's a little review from Sunday, and here's one from Saturday.

Can't leave England (or Wales) without another dose of racism.

Spain. Messi. Yes, he broke the record. He's scored a lot of goals this year. Real Madrid. Ozil's free-kick enabled them to avoid defeat at Valladolid. Falcao. He scored five goals against Deportivo La Coruna. Dude is good. Guillem Balague has a nice little article about the weekend in Spain.

Italy. Inter beat Napoli apparently because Napoli couldn't finish. More tomorrow. Juventus won too, by the way.

Shit, back to England. There's Monday Night Football. Fulham host Newcastle. It's on ESPN2 at 3pm EST.

The Mill. Demba Ba. Where's he going? Here's your Plus One.

Can we finish in Germany? Thanks. Uli Hesse is over there and he discusses the solidarity that exists between German supporters with his usual skillful eye.

Onward!!

-SSN

Manchester Derby, Euro 2020, Messi Sneezed, And the Whole World Caught A Cold, The Joy of Six, The Mill

Right! Friday! Bloody well time, we think. What a week. Thankfully, it's over and there are loads of tasty matches on the menu this weekend. Before we dig into all of that, UEFA says Euro 2020 will be staged across Europe in a bunch of different nations. Maybe we're spoilsports but can't they just pick one frickin country and go with it? No, they can't. And they can't because Platini and Co. need to make as much money as they possible and this is the way to do it. We're worry about that more in 2019. Meanwhile, Martin Samuel has his opinion about all the nonsense.

Speaking of UEFA, they're still running this thing called the Europa League. We're down to the final 32 (yawn) in that one. Spurs snuck in (goals from Adebayor, Dempsey, and Defoe), Liverpool are there, Inter Milan made it through, Newcastle will be there...here's a round-up.

On to Friday's Rumors. Fernandinho. Right. Anyway, here's your Plus One.

Hey! Stuart Holden is back in training! Bolton's American Abroad has been out for over a year. Best of luck, Stuart. You're good enough, you're smart enough, and, doggonit people like you.

Sid Lowe is in Spain. He says that Messi's injury scare sent the soccer world into state of shock. 

Before we get to the EPL, let's look at the other what will happend in Spain, Italy, and Germany this weekend. 

In Spain, Valladolid host Real Madrid which could be interesting. And Barcelona go to Sevilla to face Real Betis. Betis currently sit fourth in La Liga. So, Barcelona will probably win. Eduardo Alvarez has his Quiniela.

In Serie A action, Yank Abroad Michael Bradley and his Roma side host Fiorentina on Saturday, while Sunday offers the biggie in the form of Inter vs. Napoli at the San Siro. That kicks off at 2:45pm EST and can be viewed stateside live on RAI or on BeIN SPORT delayed at 5pm EST.

DAS BUNDESLIGA! Ehh. Not really any interesting matches this weekend from our point of view.

OK. Check out this lineup for Sunday in the EPL. AT 8:30am EST you've got Manchester City vs. Manchester United (FSC). At 10:00am EST you've got Everton vs. Tottenham (Fox Soccer Plus). At 11am EST you've got West Ham vs. Liverpool (FSC). Not too shabby. Here are all the pertinent links:

General Preview

Michael Cox: Manchester Derby Tactical Preview

Ten Things To Look Out For

Lawro's Predictions

Merse's Predictions

And finally, Phil McNulty wonders if it's a two-horse race between the Manchester clubs. Hint: Yes, it is. 

Let's finish up, shall we? The Joy of Six is always a joy to behold on Fridays. Today we get Weird Football Stories. Marco Boogers! Yes!

But wait. Six Classic Manchester Derbies. We couldn't leave that out, could we?

Holders to Europa, Celtic Miracle, Rewind to 2001, The Mill

And so the Champions League withdraws from the stage. We won't have any action on that front until December 20, and that will be the draw for the Round of 16. Chelsea, the current holders, will not be participating. They romped past a hapless Noerdjaeaeoueajouelland side at Stamford Bridge but it was all in vain as they now hold the title as the the first Champions League holders to fail to advance beyond the group stage. Dom Fifield was at Stamford Bridge and he's got some talking points.

So no Chelsea, but Celtic (yes, Celtic) will have a ping-pong ball with their name on it on December 20. Whodah thunk? Alasdair Lamont has a nice little piece about their hard work paying off. Snoop must be higher than normal today.

So! Here are your Final 16 by group:

Group A: PSG, Porto

Group B: Schalke, Arsenal

Group C: Malaga, AC Milan

Group D: Borussia Dortmund, Real Madrid

Group E: Juventus, Shakhtar Donetsk

Group F: Bayern Munich, Valencia

Group G: Barcelona, Celtic

Group H: Manchester United, Galatasaray

And here are the essentials as we bid adieu to the Champions League until February:

10 talking points from match-day six
Five Thoughts
Richard Williams: The Champions League Story So Far
Final Group Results and Standing (plus a little Europa)

Let's jump straight to The Mill. Kaká to L.A.? Oh, dear. Here's your Plus One.

What were you doing back in April of 2001? We were watching far too much soccer. My, how things have changed...

Sorry, back to the narrative. In 1997 Roy Keane was still recovering from a bender when he led Manchester United out against Manchester City. Long story short, he tore his cruciate ligament trying to kick Alf-Inge Haaland. Alf-Inge Haaland thought he was faking it. Keano was quite angry. Fast forward to April 2001. Roy Keane ends Alf-Inge Haaland's career with a bit of revenge, Keano-style! But if you clicked on the link above you remembered/learned that already thanks to Jon Carter.



What's the point? Don't fuck with Roy Keane. Roy Keane holds a grudge.

Right, what else is going on out there? Not that much. Until tomorrow.

Onward!!

-SSN

The Mill, Champions League, Hulk Angry, Henry Back to Arsenal, Bilbao, Inter, Messi, Americans Abroad

Manchester City. You finished bottom of the group. Embarrassing? Oh, yes. Really, a team consisting of superstars like yours can't even win one match in the Champions League group stage? This was supposed to be the year you conquer Europe. But here's the silver lining if you support the blue side of Manchester. Finishing bottom of the group ensures that you don't get dumped into the Europa League. No trips to the far reaches of Eastern Europe for Thursday matches. Nine fewer games. No Sunday/Thursday/Sunday/Thursday crap to deal with. Still, though...

Jamie Jackson looks at City's failure.

What else went down? Arsenal lost in Greece (Barcelona, anyone?), Real Madrid romped over Ajax, Gooch and Sasha drew in a battle of Americans Abroad, and Milan lost to Zenit thanks to a goal from some guy named Danny. Here's the round-up and all the permutations. And we'll throw in Five Thoughts. And Five Talking Points.

In terms of today's matches, most eyes will be on Group E, where the fates of Juventus, Shakhtar Donetsk, and Chelsea will be determined. Celtic still have a chance to advance as well, and they host Spartak Moscow in Group G. Wonder if Snoop will be watching...

Liverpool fans! Jamie Carragher knows how to save the Champions League. Here's his plan.

Henry Winter wants to talk about Mr. Messi as he approached his goal milestone. The greatest ever? We obviously never saw some of the greats in their primes but it's had to argue against the little Argentine.

Americans Abroad! We've got a few of them hitting the pitches south of the border. Joe Corona, in particular, is doing quite well for Club Tijuana. Avi gets us up to speed on what's going on around the world with our Yanks.

Hulk in Russia. Hulk angry. Hulk might want to leave Russia.

The Mill! Yes, how you've been missed. How about Wednesday's Rumors (Sneijder to City?) and a Plus One.

Speaking of Sneijder, Gabrielle Marcotti wants to figure out why Inter Milan are so adept at self-destruction. And what's the deal with Athletic Bilbao? Graham Hunter investigates why they are about to leave San Mames in such bad shape.

It would appear that Thierry Henry will return yet again to his old club in London. Good? Bad? Indifferent?

Let's finish on a high note by going to Holland, shall we? The Daily Tackle brings us a nice clip of a dude trying to kick a ball, slipping, and losing his full beer. Bummer.

Onward!!

-SSN