The Bite Heard 'Round The World, Late Greece Penalty = Côte d'Ivoire Tragedy, Nigeria vs. Argentina

Today's Schedule

Some things are really weird. Like adults who bite people on a regular basis. Uruguay and Italy played an insufferably boring match filled fouls, dives, and whining. And then The Cannibal reared his ugly head and all hell broke loose (unless you're from Uruguay). We took a poll here at SSN Headquarters (we love doing that) and we all agree that the Ajax bite is still the best:

That said, this one was during a World Cup match, so... Anyway, Paolo Bandini was at the Estádio das Dunas and filed this report. As you might expect, the Interwebs are all aflutter. Ben Smith of the BBC was there, too, and his report is excellent. Surreal is a word that was floating around SSN Headquarters yesterday. Apparently, we're on the same wavelength as Jeff Carlisle.

That's enough of that for now. Let's hope SPECTRE FIFA have the guts to ban one of the stars of the tournament.

So, Italy go home and Pirlo's international career is over. That's rather sad. Zico thinks Italy paid the price for over-reliance on Pirlo and must rebuild. No argument here. Elsewhere, Greece pulled a shocker over Ivory Coast thanks to a late Samaras penalty. At first it looked like he'd dived, but upon further inspection, as he was preparing to shoot his foot hit the defender. Tough on Ivory Coast, but Greece were probably the better side on the day. Here's a report. And here's the Samaras incident:

In other action, Colombia won their group by brushing aside Japan, and England (snore) and Costa Rica failed to score. Here's a review of all of yesterday's action. Talking Points? Why, yes. There are a few. And, quite simply, what the hell happened yesterday?

There are four more matches today, as noted in The Schedule above. Nigeria/Argentina looks the most tasty on paper, while France and Ecuador could entertain. There's plenty to play for today. Here are some previews:

Today At The Tournament

Nigeria vs. Argentina: Preview + Paul Merson's Prediction

Nigeria vs. Argentina: 50-50 Challenge

Sid Lowe: Argentina see danger in their over-reliance on Lionel Messi

Michael Cox: Messi, Sabella now in tactical tandem

Bosnia vs. Iran: Preview + Paul Merson's Prediction

Honduras vs. Switzerland: Preview + Paul Merson's Prediction

Ecuador vs. France: Preview + Paul Merson's Prediction

Ben Lyttleton: France has restored its winning belief

Tim Vickery: Enner Valencia key for Ecuador

U.S. fans have represented well down in Brazil. Why? How? Take a look. Also representing down in Brazil are players who play in Major League Soccer. Grant Wahl says they're representing quite well, in fact.

We need to check in on the latest gossip and rumors. And rumours. The Mill. Plus One.

Let's end today with some fun stuff, shall we? How about Five Crazy Things You Missed? Good.

Onward!!

-SSN

Brazil = 1, Mexico = 2, Holland = 1, Chile = 2, Italy vs. Uruguay Is The Biggie Today

Greetings, friends! By popular demand, we're going to begin today with The Schedule. Check it:

Got it? Good. We'll get to previews for the above later. Let's rewind first. Mexico continued to make CONCACAF proud by dispatching of Croatia and advancing to the Round of 16 and providing a new media darling in the form of their gaffer, Miguel Herrera. Neymar saved Brazil's blushes (they have issues, people) and, as expected, the hosts topped their group. The Holland/Chile clash was a bit of a bust as the Dutch cruised. And Spain? They won a match.

Brazil 4 - 1 Colombia: Stuart James at Estádio Nacional

Brazil 4 - 1 Colombia: Neymar, Fred & Fernandinho assuage Scolari’s Chile fears

David Ornstein: Brazil join the party but how long will they stay?

Fernando Duarte: Stubborn Scolari gets it right

Mexico 3 - 1 Croatia: Report

Mexico 3 - 1 Croatia: As told by Miguel Herrera's sideline reactions

Andrea Canales: Mexico move on

Netherlands 2 - 0 Chile: Report

Rory Smith: Defeat may not be so bad for Chile

Sid Lowe is down in Brazil and since Spain is caput, he's changed his focus to Argentina. Take a look. Eduardo Alvarez is still thinking about Spain, however. Here are Five Things Del Bosque got wrong, according to Señor Alvarez.

See the link above for more fun with Miguel Herrera.

Amy Lawrence wants to talk about Arjen Robben. If it were anyone else, we'd balk, but since it's Amy, we'll allow it. She thinks that at the age of 52 30, Robben has FINALLY matured.

You want some Talking Points? Done.

As promised, previews for today's action!

Today At The Tournament

Italy vs. Uruguay: Preview

Italy vs. Uruguay: Preview II

Costa Rica vs. England: Preview + Paul Merson's Prediction

Gabriele Marcotti: The rise of Jorge Luis Pinto

Barney Ronay: Costa Rica living the dream

Japan vs. Colombia: Preview + Paul Merson's Prediction

Greece vs. Ivory Coast: Preview + Paul Merson's Prediction

Let's go back to the USA for a moment. Michael Bradley has justifiably been criticized for playing below his usual high standard. Jeff Carlisle takes a closer look at the Yanks...and Bradley. 

"We play Japan today."

"We play Colombia today."

It is still the Silly Season, folks, so let's get to the gossip: The Mill. Plus One.

Enough.

Onward!!

-SSN

Best World Cup Ever

We thank you for your support.

OK, OK, so the refs have been atrocious at times, but the play has been spectacular. How many tournaments over the years have featured boring, conservative play? Most. Not this year. With a few exceptions (Belgium, we're looking at you), these countries have, quite simply, gone for it, and it's been a joy to behold.

Right. So, we're back. SSN Headquarters is once again fully staffed and we'll attempt to get back up and running with today's post. There is nowhere to begin but with the USA and Portugal. Ronaldo was ass, but even on his assiest day he can deliver a sick cross to break Yank hearts. And Michael Bradley? What's up with him? He's been poor, that's what's up. When he lost the ball in the middle of the pitch in stoppage time, we knew it was trouble. And it was. Let' get to the the fun.

USA 2 - 2 Portugal: Paolo Bandini at Arena Amazônia

Grant Wahl: Five Thoughts

Jeff Carlisle: U.S. must move on from late stumble

Brian Straus: USA eyes bigger picture

Doug McIntire: Three Points

U.S. Player Ratings

Here's what might happen if things happen that could happen:

Group

Germany: Advance with win/draw vs. USA

United States: Advance with win/draw vs. GER

Portugal: Advance with win vs. GHA AND GER/USA do not tie, IF POR wins tiebreak with loser (see below)

Ghana: Advance with win vs. POR AND GER/USA do not tie, IF GHA wins tiebreak with loser (see below)

USA

Win/draw vs. Germany

Loss and Portugal-Ghana draw

Loss and win tiebreaker vs. Portugal-Ghana winner

Germany and Ghana drew 2-2. Some German fans showed up in black face. Nice.

Men In Blazers has a nice compilation of headlines from a cross the country here. The Guardian covers the social media insanity here.

World Cup Talking Points? Bam. The BBC has a guide to the beautiful, the terrible & the funny of the World Cup. And we shall share it.

This guy...

Guess who else isn't pleased with SPECTRE FIFA? Dutch manager Louis van Gaal, that's who.

Oh, right. England and Spain are already out. Hah! No need for additional coverage of their failures here, but suffice to say, nobody at SSN Headquarters is shedding any tears. Wait, Nick Hornby has a piece about England's failure? We'll gladly make an exception for Sir Nick!

Let's play some more, shall we? Here's your lot for today:

Day 12 At A Glance

Australia vs. Spain at who really cares?

Netherlands vs. Chile at 12:00pm EDT on ESPN

Preview + Paul Merson's Prediction

Gabriele Marcotti: Assessing Netherlands and Chile

Cameroon vs. Brazil at 4pm EDT on ESPN2

Preview + Paul Merson's Prediction

Croatia vs. Mexico at 4pm on ESPN

Preview 

Predictions from these two clowns for the entire final round of the group stage:

Lawro's Final Round Predictions

Paul Merson's Final Round Predictions

And finally...because we need to ease back into the mode...Here's what the rest of the world thinks about American soccer fans.

Onward!!

-SSN

Pretty Damn Good So Far

Happy Monday! Whew! This World Cup has been quite good, has it not? We've seen plenty of positive, attacking play by most teams, a couple of upsets, and some fine skill by those expected to provide just that. Here's the deal: We've closed SSN Headquarters for the first week of the tournament so our staff can enjoy the action with their families at a location of their choice. Some have gone to the beach, others have headed to the beach, and a few are at the beach. We'll be back next Monday. Enjoy the show!

Onward!

-SSN

The Fix Is In

Get him and kick his ass...

Well, it didn't take long for SPECTRE FIFA to put their stamp on the proceedings on the pitch, did it? Good grief, could you be more overt? We're still attempting to get that disgusting taste out of our mouths here at SSN Headquarters. Here's your lot from the yesterday's opening "win" for the hosts:

Brazil 3 - 1 Croatia: Barney Ronay at the Arena Corinthians

Ben Smith: Brazil's ecstasy is Croatia's agony

Fred's Fall

Five Talking Points

Three Talking Points

Gabriele Marcotti: Brazil benefit from home cooking?

Jonathan Wilson: Brazil fail to convince

Dejan Lovren: Referee scandalous

Podcast! Well that was exciting wasn't it? The 2014 World Cup kicked off for reals, and it was almost a case of Croatia pooping Brazil's big party - but a Neymar double saw the hosts to victory. AC Jimbo, Barry Glendenning, James Horncastle and Jacob Steinberg give their thoughts - as does Barney Ronay, our man in São Paulo. Plus, we hear from our old friend Sid Lowe as he looks forward to Spain's clash with Holland and tells us why it all went from for Chelsea-bound Cesc Fábregas at Barcelona. Sort of.

Be very, very afraid...

Today's matches are as follows. Mexico vs. Cameroon at 12pm EDT on ESPN2. Here's a preview. Spain vs. Holland at 3pm EDT on ESPN. Here's a preview. Here's another from Eduardo Alvarez. Chile vs. Australia at 6pm EDT on ESPN2. Here's a preview.

Stay classy, England.

Hey! What else is going on? Well, David Bentley has decided to retire at the age of 29. Good. Cesc Fabregas has moved from Barcelona to Chelsea. Bad. Here's some transfer stuff:

The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

Grant Wahl's got a nice little ditty here. And friend of the blog and Sunday Soccer Mate David Fellerath has an article about El Tri. They're the U.S.'s most popular soccer team, don't you know?

With that we'll head out. Enjoy the weekend. Italy/England is the big one tomorrow. That's at 6pm EDT. Sunday features Bosnia and Argentina, which could be quite tasty. That's also at 6pm EDT.

Onward!!

-SSN

Let The Games Begin

Here we go!

Finally! Let's get this (shit)show on the road, folks! Brazil vs. Croatia at 4pm EDT on ESPN, right? Right. Barney Ronay will kick us off with his article. He's in São Paulo for the match, don't you know? You want more previews? OK:

Brazil vs. Croatia: Preview

Brazil vs. Croatia: Preview II

Brazil vs. Croatia: Preview III

Brazil vs. Croatia: 50-50 Challenge

Tim Vickery: Neymar carries Brazil's hopes on slim shoulders

Jan Molby: Why Croatia’s masterful midfield can spoil Brazil’s party

Gabriele Marcotti: An opener featuring untypical styles

How To Watch

Lawro has all his predictions for Round One complete. Without further Freddy Adu, here are Lawro's First Round Predictions. He thinks the U.S. will get out of the group. Hmmmm.

Our mate Rob Kirby claims with some conviction that The Group of Death is not Group G, not Group B, but Group B. Why? Because if you come in second in Group B, you'll most certainly get Brazil in the next round. Ouch.

Meanwhile, Juan Mata is talking to Sid Lowe in anticipation of tomorrow's clash with The Dutch. Will there be blood? Chances are good.

Personalized room. Very nice.

Is this THE BIGGEST SPORTING EVENT EVER? Let's hope not.

Louise Taylor is The Guardian's Football Expert for the Northeast. As such, she's quite familiar with Sunderland's Jozy Altidore. Is Jozy at poor man's Emile Heskey? Ouch. Prove them wrong, son!

Top Tenner, yo! What else but World Cup Openers?

Hadley Freeman is in São Paulo and she likens the World Cup to Disneyland. The Editor was lucky enough to take in a lot of World Cup 2006 in Germany, and he can understand the comparison.

Gosh, there are still rumors to address amongst all this match madness:

The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One. Plus Plus Plus One.

We'll end today with this article on why Brazil should never have taken on the World Cup. "The World Cup has lost its innocence, but football’s soul can never be bought."

Onward!!

-SSN

More Fun With FIFA, Transfers, Tim Vickery in Brazil, Meet The USA 23

Poor Tevez. At least he made it on the plane...

Ahoy! Only two days left to get all your viewing plans sorted. We had to take a few days off to deal with familial obligations but SSN Headquarters is back up and running and running and running and passing and running. What's been going on? Well, for one thing, SPECTRE FIFA is under a bit more scrutiny, which is nice. John Oliver pretty much summed up the mood at SSN Headquarters with this astute piece. Good 'Ol Sepp has lashed back in typical fashion by playing the race card. Wait. What? Oh, dear. Thankfully for Brazil, South Africa has some advice. Here's some advice: Don't host the World Cup if you're a developing nation and you don't want to get fleeced.

The U.S. beat Nigeria on Saturday night in Jacksonville with Jozy notching two. We'll just go to The Wahl for Three Thoughts and leave it at that.

There continue to be rumors, speculation, and what not. Here's all of that:

The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One. Plus Plus Plus One.

Golden Generation is a term that's tossed about rather casually these days. But Ivory Coast can certainly claim to have had one recently, what with Drogba, Yaya and Kolo, Zakora, Kalou, et al. emerging at the same time. Have they done anything at World Cups? No. Jonathan Wilson is worried that won't change this year because their form of late has been quite poor.

There's so much out there on the tournament that we don't feel it necessary to spotlight everything. Especially since a ball has yet to be kicked. We would, however, like Tim Vickery to tell us about Brazil's footballing language.

Remember this guy?

Want to know more about each of the 23 U.S. players? Sports Illustrated has a nice little guide here. DaMarcus Beasley's hometown in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. But you already knew that.

And finally...Brad Friedel has signed a one-year deal with Spurs that will carry him past his 44th birthday. Wow.

Onward!!

-SSN

Transfers, Friendlies, Previews, One Week To Go, The Gentleman Ultra Profiles Internazionale, The Zlatan, Silence in the Favela

Valencia shows the love to Sterling...

Right! It's all speculation and preparation and we're simply a bit sick of it all. Thankfully, we're down to one week until the Big Dance begins. Firstly, we'd like to alert you to a bit of charity. Friends of ours have a lovely World Cup Sweepstakes set up to benefit children in the Yucatan. Check it out here. For $20 you get a team and the chance to win $400. All profits go to Mayan youth. Do it.

Right! Uruguay played Slovenia: Sid Lowe has a scouting report.

Italy played Luxembourg: James Horncastle has a scouting report and there's this video of a Luxembourgian (?) player's ultra-fail at a long throw-in.

Mexico lost to Bosnia in Chicago. Raphael Ramos Villagrana says El Tri have lost their order. Good. Let's hope it stays lost. Wankers.

England played Ecuador down in Miami and things got a little hot. Daniel Taylor was at Sun Life Stadium and filed this report. And Phil McNulty thinks Woy needs to chill out when it comes to criticizing Barkley.

World Cup Previews: Group A

World Cup Previews: Group B

World Cup Previews: Group C

World Cup Previews: Group D

Podcast! Groups A-D Preview! With a week to go until things kick off in São Paulo, AC Jimbo and co run through the 16 teams that make up Groups A-D. Will Brazil be able to cope with the pressure? Can the Ivory Coast finally shine? And should Roy Hodgson drop Wayne Rooney?

The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

The Zlatan's favorite teammate.

The Gentleman Ultra has another Serie A Alternative Club Guide and it's none other than Inter Milan. Go.

You know we love The Zlatan. That crazy, wigged out, ego-maniac with the massive schnoz. Grant Wahl had a chance to go one-on-one with the Swedish Superstar and took that chance. Apparently, The Zlatan wrote a book and Wahl says it's pretty damn good. Also, the best teammate The Zlatan ever had? Patrick Vieira.

Silence in the Favela: Love and Soccer in Brazil's Best Worst Place.

That's your lot for this Thursday. Keep it tite!

Onward!!

-SSN

No Go For Falcao, Rossi's Gramps Is Pissed, The Most Significant Goal in U.S. Soccer History, Cool Shirts

Hello Hello! Sad news from the Colombian camp where it was announced that Falcao will not be playing in Brazil. There was some hope he'd be able to make it (he was named to the 30-man squad) but in the end his ligament damage was too much to overcome. It's a real shame from the neutral's point of view; we would have loved to see what he could have done on the big stage instead of just in Ligue Uhhhhhhhh.

As noted yesterday, another fellow not going to Brazil is New Jersey-born Giuseppe Rossi. His Grandfather, iconic winemaker Carlo Rossi, is not happy about it. At. All.

Sports Illustrated has been counting down the 10 Most Significant Goals in U.S. Soccer History (Men & Women). They're finally down to Number One. It's obviously Caligiuri’s wicked strike from 1989. Grant Wahl handled the recap on this one. Links to the other nine can be found on the left side of the screen.

Jame Milner. Boring, boring James Milner. Not so fast, says Phil McNulty!

We talked a lot of Qatar yesterday. Here's one more piece from Bond. David Bond.

It is Tuesday and that means Monday Musings from Gab Marcotti. Today Gab is gabbing about Qatar scandal implications, Rooney's status and Spain's squad.

Quite scary, indeed...

Oh, boy. The Mill. Plus One.

Need a T-Shirt? These are pretty sweet. We'll take Netherlands 1998, thank you very much.

We know the stars who will be at the World Cup, but who might surprise us? Here are six lesser-known dudes who could have a good Brazilian run.

We out!

Onward!

-SSN

Qatar World Cup Thrown Into Doubt, USA Defeat Turks, Transfer Rumors, World Cup Previews, Italy Squad, Germany Squad, The Honigsteins, David Villa To New York

Clint thinks this Turkey defender is zooted...

What a glorious Monday! 

As everyone who cares knows, it's completely asinine to hold a World Cup in Qatar and the only reason it was awarded to said country is because of bribes. Here's the latest on the brouhaha that will hopefully lead to a new host nation for 2022.

Qatar 2022 World Cup corruption scandal explained

David Conn: FIFA's facades being stripped away

Qatar World Cup 2022: Fifa investigator to meet organisers

Owen Gibson: World Cup raising Qatar's profile for all the wrong reasons

Ian Rodgers: FIFA must address allegations

You want transfers? Speculation? Hearsay? Here: The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

The U.S. looked a lot better yesterday in New Jersey. The defense was ass but it was a few guys who hadn't played together. Jozy looked better. Chandler looked awful. The Yanks won 2-1 and that leaves only the Nigeria match between them and Ghana. Here's some additional info on yesterday's affair:

Grant Wahl: Three Thoughts

Kevin McCauley: Five Observations

Jeff Carlisle: Chances abound in U.S. win

Sean Davis: Altidore rising, Chandler struggling

Friendly Win vs. Turkey Raises More Questions Than Answers

It looks like...England...have arrived...in Miami...YEEEEAAAAHHHH!

The England squad has arrived in Miami and Phil McNulty says they've been able to stay under the radar so far. Just as long as they don't piss off a certain Horatio Caine...





Here's your final 23 for Italy. You'll notice that New Jersey-born Giuseppe Rossi didn't make the cut. Too bad, pal.

Goalkeepers: Gianluigi Buffon (Juventus), Salvatore Sirigu (PSG), Mattia Perin (Genoa).
Defenders: Andrea Barzagli, Leonardo Bonucci, Giorigo Chiellini (all Juventus), Gabriel Paletta (Parma), Ignazio Abate, Mattia De Sciglio (both AC Milan), Matteo Darmian (Torino).
Midfielders: Andrea Pirlo, Claudio Marchisio (both Juventus), Thiago Motta, Marco Verratti (both Paris St Germain), Daniele De Rossi (AS Roma), Antonio Candreva (Lazio), Marco Parolo (Parma), Alberto Aquilani (Fiorentina).
Forwards: Mario Balotelli (AC Milan), Antonio Cassano (Parma), Alessio Cerci (Torino), Ciro Immobile (Torino), Lorenzo Insigne (Napoli).

Want more Italy? How about the secrets behind the players. Ooooooo...

We've gotten Paolo's round-up of Serie A, Sid's round-up of La Liga, and now it's time for Raphael's round-up of the Bundesliga. It's The Honigsteins!! Despite Bayern’s procession to the title, there was still plenty of unpredictability, from Hamburg’s struggles to Hoffenheim’s headless mascot and Leverkusen’s phantom goal.

Sticking with Germany, they're down to 23 as well and only named one striker! And it's Miroslov Lose who will turn 53 next month. Wow.

Remember Bojan Krkic? What happened to that guy? He was supposed to be the next great Barcelona wonder-kid. The next Messi. What went wrong? Where the hell is he now? Ajax? Geez.

And finally...West Ham are celebrating The Treble in style! Wait, what treble? Three wins over Spurs this season? Oh. Congrats. (cue sarcastic clapping)

Onward!!

-SSN

The Mill Returns, The Joy Of Six, USA vs. Turkey, Driving From San Francisco To Salvador, AC Milan Mess, Arsène Wenger's World Cup Preview

And so goes another week. The Transfer Window is open and that means it's time for The Mill and all its various plusses to make a return. So, without further Freddy Adu, here you go:

The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

There are a slew of friendlies set to take place over the next few days. Quite wisely, Amy Lawrence has chosen to take a look at Italy and their match tomorrow against Ireland at Craven Cottage. There are more than a couple strikers in the Italy 30 who are desperate to make the Italy 23.

The United States will also be in action in one of those friendlies. The USMNT host Turkey on Sunday at 2:00pm EDT (ESPN2) at Red Bull Arena in lovely Harrison, New Jersey, and The Diving German claims that Deuce is ready to go!

It's going to be hot in Brazil. Tim Vickery is worried. Thank you FIFA for mid-day kick-offs.

Ahhh, the Dutch. Those crazy Dutch. Drive from San Francisco to Salvador to see Holland vs. Spain? Why not? At least that's what a certain Ben Oude Kamphuis thought.

The Joy of Six! What else but World Cup Classics? And let's satisfy the hipsters with Top 10 World Cup Beards.

There are three stadia that will host the Yanks at the World Cup. You're talking venues in Natal, Manaus, and Recife. Let's take a closer look. 

James Horncastle is taking a closer look...at AC Milan. Frankly, it's a mess. And here comes Inzaghi!

Arsenal's manager has graced us with a World Cup Group-by-Group Preview. It's actually pretty good. He doesn't even mention the U.S. or Mexico.

That'll do it!

Onward!!

-SSN

It's All A Bit Quiet

We're going to take the day off for some housecleaning. Not much is happening besides speculation and more complaints (justified) about the World Cup. Stand by for a full post tomorrow.

Onward!!

-SSN

USA Defeat Azerbaijan, Pochettino Take Over At Tottenham, The Sids, Phil Ball In Spain, Luis Suarez, More Brazilian Protests

What up, Hump Day? The United States played the first of three prep matches last night at Candlestick Park in San Francisco and it was a rather dreadful affair. The Yanks ended up winning 2-0 but the fare on offer was rather stale. Clint Dempsey was a late withdrawal because of a groin complaint but said in his classic style, "it's all good." Jeff Carlisle claims the diamond looked rough. Here are some Player Grades for you. And...Three Thoughts from Grant Wahl!

As expected, Tottenham have named Mauricio Pochettino as their new boss. Jacob Steinburg has a list of five things that Mauricio must do at White Hart Lane to improve the vibe.

Yesterday we had the Bandinis and everything that was Serie A in 2013-14 and today we're treated to The Sids and everything that was La Liga in 2013-14. For starters...From a flashing backside distracting Diego Costa to Carlos Vela presenting a match ball to his dog, it’s time for the annual end-of-season Spanish football awards.

Phil Ball is back, baby! He's been off the pages for ages after his Qatar confusion (scroll down to the last segment entitled, "Conflict of Interest") but returns not to ESPN, but to The Guardian. He's obviously still in Spain, and this is what he's got for us: Could Eibar’s astonishing rise to La Liga end before a ball is kicked? The smallest club to enter the top flight of Spanish football, described as a ‘model club’, could be demoted before the season starts due to ‘unfair’ regulations.

More protests in Brazil, this time in the capital. Good times.

We all know the World Cup is all about cash. So who's winning the brand war? Best commercials? Check it.

Wright Thompson is a damn fine writer and he's got a new piece out on Luis Suarez entitled, "Portrait of a Serial Winner." Enjoy. Sam Kelly is also down around the Rio Plata but he's more interested in Angel Di Maria than Luis.

And finally...Snoop Dogg sends his best.

Onward!!

-SSN

Champions League Final Aftermath, The Bandinis, QPR Promoted, Cantona On FIFA, Germany Problems, USA IN SF

Madrid fans leave Lisbon with some cleaning up to do...

Well, well, well. That match certainly provided a fitting end to a crazy season of club football, eh? Let's get right to some of the finer articles on the matter:

Ken Early: How Real Madrid's Superhumans Muscled Their Way to the Title

Sid Lowe: Gareth Bale proves he has a head for destiny

Miguel Delaney: Super-club supremacy: Real confirm UCL trend

Phil McNulty: Real Madrid's £86m man makes his mark in final

Thanks to a Bobby Zamora goal, 10-man QPR beat Derby in a brutally unfair result to return the Premier League. 'Arry's back, folks. Stuart James was at Wembley where Derby dominated but simply could not score.

Podcast! Real Madrid did La Décima, QPR did Derby and return to the Premier League, and Yaya Touré didn't get his birthday cake. AC Jimbo, James Horncastle, Michael Hann and Sid Lowe are here to tell you all about it, bringing to an end a sensational season of Football Weekly.

Team USA play Azerbaijan tonight (10pm EDT on ESPN2) at Candlestick in San Francisco. Here's a wee preview.

Madrid fans urinate on Lisbon...

Eric Cantona has been making a movie in Rio. A documentary. Here's what he's got to say about SPECTRE FIFA, "...the Frenchman views Sepp Blatter’s “corrupt” governing body as “so powerful, stronger than any country”. Couldn't have said it any better ourselves.

Are you going to Brazil for the World Cup? Are you going to Recife? Here's an article about that town.

Paolo Bandini is one of our favorite scribes. He's all over Serie A and at the end of each campaign he unleashes his awards. Here you go: The Bandinis 2014: An utterly exhaustive review of the Serie A season. From the best shinpads to the worst misses, via a referee-shaped dog chew toy, it’s our end-of-season Italian awards.

Another scribe favorite is Raphael Honigstein. He's a German expert, don't you know? Today, he's talking the national team and worrying that injuries and the team diaspora remain threats to success.

This guy...

Donovan is not invited to the Big Party. Donovan gets angry. Donovan breaks MLS scoring record. Here are Five Things We Learned from the weekend in Major League Soccer. Power Rankings? Yes. Power Rankings again? Yes.

While his rival Ronaldo is basking in glory and getting naked for Vogue, Lionel Messi is quietly preparing for the World Cup. What the deal with Messi, anyway? Why don't people in Argentina go nuts for him? In his hometown of Rosario he's hardly honored at all.

Spurs are said to be closing in on a new gaffer in the form of one Mauricio Pochettino. Richard Jolly is curious as to whether Mauricio is a Martinez or a Moyes?

That would appear to cover what we'd like to cover.

Onward!!

-SSN

By Popular Demand

No Donovan In Brazil, Atlético Madrid vs. Real Madrid Champions League Final Insanity, Luiz To PSG?, Championship Play-Off Final

Hey Hey Hey! It's Friday! 

The Diving German announced his final 23 for Brazil yesterday and one Landon Timothy Donovan did not make the cut. The Golden Boy of his generation has failed to make the Brazil 2014 team. As you might expect, The Interwebs are freaking out.

What do we think? It's a mistake. Yes, he's 32 and it's an old 32. Yes, there is the Bayern Munich history. Yes, he and Klinsmann obviously don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. Yes, he bailed and went to Cambodia. But he's simply still too good (especially in Internationals) to completely leave him off the squad. What do the pundits think? Let's get to it:

Grant Wahl: Donovan’s exclusion from the World Cup is a major risk 

Doug McIntire: Klinsmann had better know what he's doing

Grant Wahl: Five Thoughts

Dan Levy: Leaving Donovan off US World Cup Team Is a Horrible Decision

Graham Parker: Donovan's experience and goals will be missed 

Jeff Carlisle: Shockwaves sent as Klinsmann leaves off Donovan

Kevin Baxter: What's behind Donovan' omission?

Brian Strauss: Donovan’s exclusion the big surprise, but USA roster has plenty more

Jason Davis: The end of Donovan's U.S. career? A retrospective.

Ryan Rosenblatt: Why Donovan's legacy couldn't carry him to the World Cup

Donovan's omission leaves inexperienced U.S. roster

Another left out is Brad Evans. Apparently, he has a sense of humor. Good for him.

Here are the 23 who will be on the plane:

GOALKEEPERS: Brad Guzan (Aston Villa), Tim Howard (Everton), Nick Rimando (RSL)
DEFENDERS: DaMarcus Beasley (Puebla), Matt Besler (Sporting Kansas City), John Brooks (Hertha Berlin), Geoff Cameron (Stoke City), Timmy Chandler (Nürnberg), Omar Gonzalez (LA Galaxy), Fabian Johnson (Borussia Mönchengladbach), DeAndre Yedlin (Seattle Sounders FC)
MIDFIELDERS: Kyle Beckerman (Real Salt Lake), Alejandro Bedoya (Nantes), Michael Bradley (Toronto FC), Brad Davis (Houston Dynamo), Mix Diskerud (Rosenborg), Julian Green (Bayern Munich), Jermaine Jones (Besiktas), Graham Zusi (Sporting Kansas City)
FORWARDS: Jozy Altidore (Sunderland), Clint Dempsey (Seattle Sounders FC), Aron Johannsson (AZ Alkmaar), Chris Wondolowski (San Jose Earthquakes)

Looks like Jurgen's son is an asshole.

Jonathan Watts is in Rio and has an update on how the preparation is proceeding. Not well, as you might expect.

OK! Enough of that stuff about some tournament next month. Let's get to tomorrow's MEGAMATCH in Lisbon:

Atlético Madrid vs. Real Madrid: Preview

Atlético Madrid vs. Real Madrid: Preview II

Atlético Madrid vs. Real Madrid: Preview III

Real Madrid v Atlético Madrid in numbers

Guillem Balague: Atlético Madrid will Exorcise Ghosts of 1974 

John Brewin: Atlético and life without Costa

Ashifa Kassam: Madrid united and divided by Real v Atlético 

Michael Cox: Sizing up the tactical battle

Five Questions For The Final

50-50 Challenge

It seems like ages since we heard from Marcela Mora y Araujo in Argentina. Good to know she's still scribing. As you might expect, she wants to talk Simeone and the possibility of him taking over the national team.

It looks like everyone's favorite Sideshow Bob look-a-like will no longer be gracing Stamford Bridge. He's going to Gay Paris, apparently.

The Joy of Six? European Cup final goals. Top Tenner? European Cup finals.

Two other teams have a rather important match tomorrow. It's Derby County and Queens Park Rangers at Wembley for the right to return to the Premier League. Here's your preview. Check the action at 10am EDT on beIN Sport USA. Here's another look. One QPR fan's dog ate his ticket! No shit! Thankfully, it'll be OK. Whew!

That's all the time we have for now, folks!

Onward!!

-SSN

Taking Two Days Off

It's all a bit slow at the moment, so we're going to take a couple of days and do some spring cleaning around the headquarters. Luis Suárez injured his knee in training and is now a doubt for the World Cup, which would be a big blow to not only Uruguay, but to the tournament itself. As expected Bacary Sagna is set to sign for Manchester City. And...that's about it. We'll be back tomorrow with all the guff about the Champions League Final.

Onward!!

-SSN

More Van Gaal, Scribes, Portugal Squad, Serie A Season Review, What Is A World Cup Spot Worth?

Oi! What's this? The BBC's European football expert Andy Brassell is taking on the role of master of ceremonies as he hands out imaginary awards to his Player of the Year, Young Player of the Year and Coach of the Year, and names his Best XI of the season. Sounds good.

Grant Wahl has asked a very good question. It is this: How much is a roster spot worth for U.S. players in Brazil?

Louis, Louis, Louis, Looooeeeee...

As noted yesterday, one of the biggest clubs in the world finally has a new manager, and the reaction by the pundits is overwhelmingly positive. Here's more on that:

Daniel Harris: Louis van Gaal’s Manchester United will amuse, charm and entertain

Phil McNulty: Man United tailor-made for Van Gaal

Jamie Jackson: Manchester United’s top 10 transfer targets under Louis van Gaal

Ben Littleton: Louis van Gaal's first task: Where does Wayne Rooney belong?

Manchester United warned of 'strict' manager

You know what sucks? Agents creating bullshit waves in order to make money. That's all Yaya Toure's agent is doing with this absurd rant about his birthday. SSN would certainly never go out of our way to defend the powers that be at Man City, but come on Seluk.

Scribes, yo!

Where? Brazil. Who. Tim Vickery. What? Brazil braced for more World Cup protests

Where? Italy. Who? Paolo Bandini. What? Serie A signs off with Europa League battle

Where? Germany. Who? Raphael Honigstein. What? Guardiola breathes again after Double

Where? Germany. Who? Uli Hesse. What? Bundesliga maintains goal-scoring reputation

Portugal has named its squad for the tournament set to take place in 23 days in its old colonial backwater of Brazil. Wait. Nani?!

Goalkeepers: Beto (Sevilla), Eduardo (Braga), Rui Patrício (Sporting).
Defenders: Andre Almeida (Benfica), Bruno Alves (Fenerbahce), Fabio Coentrao (Real Madrid), Joao Pereira (Valencia), Neto (Z. St. Petersburg), Pepe (Real Madrid), Ricardo Costa (Valencia).
Midfielders: Joao Moutinho (Monaco), Miguel Veloso (Dynamo Kiev), Raul Meireles (Fenerbahce), Ruben Amorim (Benfica), William Carvalho (Sporting Lisbon), Rafa (Braga).
Forwards: Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid), Eder (Braga), Helder Postiga (Lazio), Hugo Almeida (Besiktas), Nani (Manchester United), Varela (FC Porto), Vieirinha (Wolfsburg).

You'll have to forgive us for overlooking the action Stateside over the weekend. What with the Primera Liga title up for grabs and a scintillating FA Cup final and all. Let's make amends. Here are Five Things We Learned in Major League Soccer on Saturday and Sunday. Power Rankings? But, of course. Jeff Carlisle's got New England, Real Salt Lake, and Seattle leading the table. That Bird guy's got Real Salt Lake, Seattle, and then New England. So there.

Domestic leagues are done. Dusted. Sorted. Time for the Season in Reviews to hit the airwaves. Let's begin in Italy with James Horncastle's Serie A 2013-2014 Season Review.

Done.

Onward!!

-SSN

Atlético Madrid Win La Liga, Arsenal Win The FA Cup, Manchester United Appoint Louis van Gaal, Giggs Retires

NOT Barcelona or Real Madrid.

Happy Monday. Honors even (1-1) at Camp Nou presented the Primera Liga trophy to Atlético Madrid on Saturday. Which is odd, because Xavi said Barcelona deserved to win the title. Anyway, it's Atlético's first title since 1995-96 and it's the first time in a decade that the title hasn't gone to either Barcelona or Real Madrid. Ain't change nice? As you would expect, SSN had people on the ground, but sadly, we've yet to receive their report. Only a photo (see below), which doesn't help us much...

SSN's Primera Liga Title-Deciding Match Correspondents at Camp Nou

Here's your lot from Spain, beginning with El Sid's report & his analysis:

Atlético Madrid 1 - 1 Barcelona: Sid Lowe at Camp Nou

Sid Lowe: Atlético Madrid win more than the league with 'impossible' title

Graham Hunter: Atletico's dreams come true at Camp Nou

Andy West: Specialists in triumphing in the face of adversity

Player Ratings

Round 38 Review

Guillem Balague's La Liga XI

Meanwhile, at Wembley, Arsenal went two goals down to Hull City but managed to claw back and get the go-ahead goal in extra time. It's Arsenal's 11th FA Cup and their first trophy in nine years. We figured we'd mention that just in case there was some way in hell you missed all the commentary on that subject. Speaking of commentary, how God-awful were Gus Johnson and Eric Wynalda? Wynalda should be banned for life. He simply has no clue. According to him, Aaron Ramsey is English. Enough of that, though. Here's your lot from London:

Arsenal 3 - 2 Hull City (aet): Paul Wilson at Wembley

John Brewin: Arsenal suffering ends in unconvincing fashion

Phil McNulty: FA Cup success is only a platform for Arsene Wenger

Jonathan Wilson: The drought is over

Henry Winter: Arsenal's penalties gamble proves spot-on

Amy Lawrence: Wenger faced ultimate penalty if his extra-time gamble failed

Martin Samuel: Wenger reminded us of his genius with vital extra-time substitution

Dale Johnson: Three things: Arsenal vs. Hull City

Thousands line the street for Arsenal's victory parade

Manchester United have a new gaffer: Louis van Gaal. Barney Ronay takes a gander at the anti-Moyes disciplinarian. John Brewin says get ready for a Dutch revolution, while Gab Marcotti claims Van Gaal's past offers little insight into United's future. The Dutchman's appointment means Ryan Giggs will stay on as his Number 2. It also means Ryan Giggs has finally officially retired. What a career. Just 963 games, 34 trophies, and 23 years.

In Italy, Juventus won to set a points record, while Inter Milan and Roma lost essentially meaningless matches. AC Milan won their match but didn't make Europe. Here's your final table. More domani with Paolo.

Whew! That'll do for today.

Onward!!

-SSN

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