SSN Special Report: Alessandro Cazzojourno in England

After leaving Milan following Inter's 4-2 win over Hellas Verona, SSN's Serie A Expert Alessandro Buonjourno changed his name to Alessandro Cazzojourno and headed to England. Alessandro took in Arsenal vs. Liverpool, Everton vs. Tottenham, and Manchester City vs. CSKA Moscow. In London he was blindsided by the news that his old pal and host for the evening was dating one Scott Murray of The Guardian, and that the three would dine together. Quite the trip, indeed, and those of us forced to remain at SSN Headquarters will no doubt make Alessandro suffer for his good fortune for years to come. He'll be making the coffee and paying for lunch for a while, let's just say. He filed this report.  -The Editor

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A tedious arrival into a typically overcast London via Standstill Stansted ended with an impossibly excellent surprise courtesy of my host, friend, and college editor Wendy Mitchell, following an exchange something the lines of:

Me: So is your boyfriend joining us for dinner?

Wendy: I’m not sure, he’s not feeling great and he has to cover the matches tomorrow.

Me: (curiosity piqued) Which matches?

Wendy: Newcastle / Chelsea. And yours.

Me: (really curious now) Ummm….who exactly is your boyfriend?

Wendy: His name’s Scott Murray.

Me: (full-on yelling) YOU’RE DATING SCOTT MURRAY?!?

Scott Murray, Guardian sports editor/genius, frequently found at the helm of The Rumour Mill, The Fiver, minute-by-minute reports, and occasionally amongst the Football Weekly podcasters...familiarize yourself with his work if you haven't already. I could scarcely believe my luck and the small-world-ness of it. Not surprisingly, he's even funnier in person, and was a great sport about answering my many questions about football, journalism, and his role at the intersection of the two. He also talked about the Liverpool and World Cup books he's working on (keep an eye out in April), and I even managed to conjure a few laughs out of him while not coming off as too much of a weirdo by quoting things he'd written (and sometimes forgotten he'd written). Talk about a result...crikey! Not that he needed to bolster his credentials, but he did correctly predict an Arsenal victory. Which brings us to...

Two goals to the good. Alessandro with Laura Webb.

Emirates was a grand time. Chelsea blowing it at Newcastle set the stage nicely, and after a few pints at The Twelve Pins with ticket connection and peach of a Gooner Gal Laura Webb and her mates Christoph and Paul, we set out to grab our seats, which were lower level, about nine rows behind goal. Mental. This made for the expected two-dimensionality at the far end of the pitch, but watching Cazorla's strike bulge the back of the net in the slow-motion that seems to take effect in those moments was just outstanding, the pinging off the post right beforehand only adding to the adrenaline surge. A German fellow behind me seemed to think the crowd was chanting "Oh, Sexy Cazor-la!", which he certainly was after that strike. Hard to fully appreciate the craft of Ramsey's goal from our vantage point, but seeing the replay certainly helped explain the absolute shockwave of a roar that made its way across pitch from the opposite end. What it's all about, really.

As for Liverpool, Flanagan didn't look ready for prime time, while the fabled Suarez/Sturridge partnership never looked like igniting, and seemed positively frayed towards the end, with Sturridge casting outstretched, pleading arms and a long, frustrated glare at Luis after some selfish shot selection -- that was intense to see. Though Suarez...even on an off night...my word, you really understand what a handful he is up close like that. Apart from some singing early on the away support was a pretty massive disappointment: Nary a single verse of You'll Never Walk Alone! Kam ON, lads!!! Maybe they just knew it wasn't their night. We were only a few rows away from their section, and it was sobering to see one Scouser in a nice retro track top wiping away tears at the final whistle. On the walk home I was able to grab a decent shot of the stadium from a distant bridge (see below), a fitting punctuation to an unforgettable night.

Emirates Bridge View

One grueling Megabus ride north later I was savoring 'real ales' at Doctor Duncan's with my former-penpal-turned-actual-friend/Manchester host Joe Pollitt, and his Everton mate Kev - two bona fide class acts - on what turned out to be a gorgeous day in Liverpool, which along with the atmosphere and experience of being tucked under the awning at Goodison were the highlights of what was otherwise an absolutely diabolical day of football. Really, REALLY hard to believe either of those sides are in the mix for Champion's League on evidence of that abject display. Crazy seeing Lloris getting knocked out though, and the 'thudthudthud' of seats flapping up as people stood up for approaching action (or lack thereof) being concentrated by the roof right above our head was pretty awesome. Every bit the portal into what football used to be like that I'd hoped.

Goodi-sun Park

Champion's League! A-HA! It was Guy Fawkes and fireworks were in the air as me and Joe and his gang of City regulars trekked over to the Etihad for City/ CSKA Moscow. It was precisely the kind of pounding the shirtless mass of xenophobic cretins in the away end deserved, though hats off to them for the sustained din they created during the match. Impressive. And what a performance by Negredo. Hat trick! "Beast of the Match," as the announcer said, channeling his inner Partridge... Not sure where this side were for the FA Cup Final but on their night they possess formidable graft, craft, power, and pace.

City vs. CSKA

The time in Manchester shattered all expectations. Fantastic people, food, architecture, history, beer, loads of music history... Plus the occasional overheard gem like "James Milner's dog had a wee on my gatepost this morning. He looked a bit embarrassed." Three points on Sunday, and it will be one hell of a trip.

Onward!!!

-Alessandro Cazzojourno

Champions League Updates, Secret Footballer, Jozy, Microsoft Estadio Santiago Bernabeu?

See below for Giles Tremlett's review

Apologies for yesterday's radio silence, friends. SSN Headquarters had to be evacuated due to a mold issue. All is sorted now, though, so let's get to it, shall we? The obvious place to begin is in the Champions League. Barcelona beat a waning Milan side (Messi's "crisis" is over -- he scored twice) and are already through to the knock-out stage. The other big result came from Germany where Arsenal managed to nick three points from Dortmund thanks to yet another Aaron Ramsey goal. Chelsea had little trouble with Schalke (Eto'o embarrassed Timo Hildebrand - see below) while Napoli beat Marseille 3-2. Let the fun begin:

Champions League Review
10 Talking Points
Five Aside

Barcelona 3 - 1 AC Milan: Sid Lowe at Camp Nou

Borussia Dortmund 0 - 1 Arsenal: David Hytner at Westfalenstadion

Chelsea 3 - 0 Schalke 04: John Brewin at Stamford Bridge

Chelsea 3 - 0 Schalke 04: Barney Ronay at Stamford Bridge

Napoli 3 - 2 Marseille: Higuain Brace

Celtic and Ajax fans clash in Amsterdam

Group Stage Standings

The Secret Footballer has a new book out and he's talking San Siro, his father, and Fabio Capello. The Guardian has an exclusive extract here and it makes for an enjoyable little read.

There was a What's in Your Wallet? Cup match yesterday between Sunderland and Southampton. Thanks to Yank Abroad Jozy Altidore, Sunderland got the win and will face Chelsea in the next round. Jozy didn't score, but he was instrumental in his side's two goals. Well done, son.

Way to recognize, Seb.

Apparently, Microsoft are talking with Real Madrid about getting naming rights for the Bernabeu. Say it ain't so, Bill.

It's November and Ian Darke wants to weigh in on the state of each squad in the Premier League. Do it, Darke.

One of our favorite scribes is Sid Lowe. He's got a new book out entitled, "Fear and Loathing in La Liga: Barcelona vs Real Madrid." Here's a review.

EUROPEAN CUP TOP SCORERS

Raul 71 

Lionel Messi 65

Cristiano Ronaldo 59 

Ruud van Nistelrooy 56

Thierry Henry 50

Alfredo Di Stefano 49

Andriy Shevchenko 48

Eusebio 46 

Filippo Inzaghi    46

Didier Drogba 42

Finally, as we read above, Arsenal won their match yesterday. Paul Doyle asks, was Arsenal's away win at Dortmund their best ever in Europe?

Onward!!

-SSN

Ireland, Champions League, Top Scribes, Americans Abroad

Mega Tuesday!

Most Tuesdays are big days at SSN Headquarters. Today is no exception. Let's hit the ground running with the Podcast: We're live and unleashed for this edition of Football Weekly, recorded in front of literally squillions (well, 75) of fans in Swansea's Dylan Thomas Centre. It's a wonder that Jimbo, Barry Glendenning, Rafa Honigstein and James Horncastle made it out alive. On our agenda: all the action from the weekend in the Premier League - not least Arsenal's victory over Liverpool and Cardiff's victory in the South Wales derby - and the return of the Champions League. With Manchester City hosting CSKA Moscow, Arsenal hoping to exact some revenge on Dortmund and Barcelona taking on Milan, it's quite a few days of European jiggery-pokery in store.

The Republic of Ireland has a new manager. Actually, a team of managers. Actually, Martin O'Neill and Roy Keane. Yes, Trap has gone and the men upstairs in Dublin reckon these two freaks are the best man (men) for the job. If nothing else, it'll be fun to watch. 

"You don't like something I do? Tough shit. I'll break your leg."

As mentioned, it is Tuesday, so that can only mean one thing. It's time for Gab Marcotti's Monday Musings. Today, Gab's musing on Lloris' health, Milan's misery and a close call for Real Madrid.

You know what? We haven't checked in with a bunch of Americans Abroad of late. Sure, we know what Bradley, Altidore, and Guzan are up to, but what about all the other guys? Guys like Mike Grella, Freddy Adu, and DaMarcus Beasley? Let's check in.

The Champions League returns today for Matchday Four. It's pivotal for a few teams in particular. Today's matches include Real Sociedad vs. Manchester United, Juventus vs. Real Madrid, and Manchester City vs. CSKA Racists. Here are some predictions of how things might go this afternoon (everything begins at 2:45pm EST), and here's a preview of the matchday's first eight games. CSKA fans are already in the mood, apparently...

Scribe Time!

Location: Italy
Headline: Torino and Italy given reason to smile by second coming of Alessio Cerci
Scribe: Paolo Bandini

Location: Spain
Headline: Derby days take centre stage in Spain
Scribe: Phil Ball

Location: Germany
Headline: Loan sharks - the future of football
Scribe: Uli Hesse

Location: Spain
Headline: Real Betis cap week from hell with 'mad' defeat to Málaga
Scribe: Sid Lowe

Location: Germany
Headline: Borussia Mönchengladbach in Kruse control as Hamburg fans get shirty
Scribe: Raphael Honigstein

Location: Brazil
Headline: Why a South American experiment could be a boost to Europe
Scribe: Tim Vickery

That's a fair amount of reading for you, eh? Well, spare a thought for Sligo Rovers who recently won the Irish Cup.

Onward!!

-SSN

Roma Don't Win, Arsenal Defeat Liverpool, Newcastle Defeat Chelsea, Fiorentina Defeat Milan, City Hit Seven, Portland Defeat Seattle

And a Very Happy Monday to You!

We'll begin in Rome where Torino managed a 1-1 draw with Roma, ending the home side's run of consecutive wins at 10. Had they won, they would have tied a European record set by Tottenham. Elsewhere in Italy, Fiorentina piled on the misery for Milan by emerging from the San Siro with a 2-0 win. Milan now sit in 11th place in the table -- their worst start to a season since 1981. 

Back in England, Arsenal overcame a rather flaccid Liverpool side thanks to goals from Cazorla and Ramsey (Dominic Fifield was in the house), Chelsea lost to Newcastle at St. James' Park (Louise Taylor was in the house), Everton and Spurs failed to score (Richard Jolly was in the house), and Manchester City tallied seven against Norwich City (Ian Whittell was in the house).

Don't fret friends, we've got your Talking Points. All ten of them. Relax. Jeez. Not enough? Here's the rest of the good stuff:

Talking Points II

Talking Points III

Five Thoughts

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Phil McNulty takes a look at Arsenal

Team of the Week

The South Wales Derby: Cardiff City 1 - 0 Swansea City

In Spain, Bale had another strong outing as Real Madrid won at neighbors Rayo Vallecano. Elsewhere, the other Madrid team in the top flight, Atletico, got goals once again from David Villa and Diego Costa to win and keep the pressure on Barcelona.

Stateside, LA Galaxy knocked off Real Salt Lake thanks to a rocket from Sean Franklin, and New York and Houston (that's Red Bull & Dynamo) drew 2-2. In the Pacific Northwest, Portland got a huge win at Seattle 2-1 to take the series lead back to Oregon. It was Portland's first-ever MLS Playoff match. 

That's solid for a Monday Breakdown. We'll be back tomorrow with loads of analysis from the scribes and likely a Podcast as well.

Onward!!

-SSN

Roma Set Record, Cardiff City v Swansea City, Arsenal v Liverpool, Podcast, MLS, Derbi Barceloní

The end of the week has arrived. And with it, November. We're going to need a podcast to handle all that weight. This is what's on tap: On today's Football Weekly Extra, we're Capital One Cup crazy. Well, not quite crazy, but certainly captivated. Anyway, AC Jimbo's joined once more by Barry Glendenning and the dulcet twin tones of Amy Lawrence and Simon Burnton as they look back on the all the midweek League Cup action. We start with Arsenal, whose trophyless run is no nearer to coming to an end after they were beaten by Chelsea. It doesn't get any easier for the Gunners, with Liverpool and Borussia Dortmund to visit in the next few days (albeit not at the same time; that wouldn't be fair). Can Arsène Wenger get his young side back on track? There was happier news on the other side of North London after Tottenham saw off tigerish Hull for the second time in three days, even if it did take them a penalty shoot out to get the victory. How far can AVB's lot go in the competition? Next, we hear from Sid Lowe about Gareth Bale's role in Real Madrid's ridiculous 7-3 victory over Sevilla before turning our attention to the big games in the Premier League this weekend, not least the South Wales derby.

Now that that's sorted, we can move on. Where? To Gareth Bale, of course. He's now under fire for an "attempted dive." Hmmmm.

There were matches in La Liga yesterday, most notably involving Atletico Madrid and their attempt to maintain the pressure on league leaders Barcelona. They succeeded thanks to penalties from stars Diego Costa and David Villa. They are now a point behind Barca and five ahead of city rivals Real. Barcelona are in action this afternoon (4pm EDT on beIN Sport USA) against their city rivals Espanyol.

There was a match in Serie A yesterday featuring the table toppers known as AS Roma. They defeated Chievo 1-0 to extend their lead to five points and become the first team in the history of Serie A to begin the season with 10 wins on the trot.

Is Daffyd a Swansea supporter or a Cardiff man...?

There was a match in Major League Soccer yesterday. It was an Eastern Conference knockout round game featuring Houston and Montreal. Houston won with ease. Looking ahead to the playoffs, Sport Illustrated asked their scribes to provide some thoughts and predictions. They did just that.

Right. On to things that have yet to occur. In the BPL, there are two biggies that stick out from the menu. Arsenal vs. Liverpool (1:30pm EDT on NBC) certainly attracts while Wales gets crazy with Cardiff vs. Swansea on Sunday. Elsewhere, there are some solid matchups as Tottenham go to Everton, Chelsea head up to Newcastle, and West Ham host Villa. Here's your lot:

Liverpool's John Barnes

Statistical Preview To This Weekend's Matches

10 things to look out for this weekend

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro's Predictions

Gambling Guide to the Weekend

Speaking of Liverpool, The Big Interview is John Barnes. He thinks Liverpool's Suárez-Sturridge attack is as good as '88. Well, then. 

We've more to discuss. We mentioned above that Barcelona and Espanyol clash this afternoon. Here's a gander at the complete La Liga weekend slate. We mentioned above that Roma was setting records in Italy. Here's a gander at the complete Serie A weekend slate which includes Parma/Juventus, Milan/Fiorentina, and Udinese/Inter.

We'll conclude the week on a high note (cough) with a look at Ronaldo's new line of underwear. His tweet was quite funny last week, and he's now unveiled his CR7 line. Oh, dear...

Onward!!

-SSN

No comment.

Bale Breaks Duck, League Cup, Golden Balls in Miami

Whoa Nellie! Let's start in Spain where the midweek action provided quite the fun. Gareth Bale got off the mark with two goals (yes, he did the stupid "heart" thing with his hands), Ronny had three, and Real Madrid whupped Sevilla 7-3. Don't you know Sid Lowe was there and had this to say. Not pleased with just a match report, El Sid also filed a complete roundup. Tite!

There was action in Serie A, too. Napoli won at Fiorentina to cut the gap at the top to two (Roma in action tonight) and Milan and Lazio drew at the San Siro. Here's a recap of the Wednesday action.

All set to support Beckham FC

Stateside we've got a few issues to tackle. David Beckham made a move down in Miami. Golden Balls is going to set up an MLS team and he wants to do it in the Sunshine State. And he wants Brooklyn to play for his team.

Elsewhere in MLS, the playoffs are set after Clint Dempsey and Eddie Johnson led Seattle to a wildcard win over Colorado. Their next opponent? Portland. Look out! Lattes and espresso for the first 10,000 fans.

In League Cup action in England, Elderly Yank Abroad Brad Friedel went from villain to hero as Tottenham ousted Hull City on penalties. In the evening's other match, Manchester City needed extra time to see off Newcastle.

Here's your draw for the Quarterfinal Round:
Leicester v Manchester City
Stoke v Manchester United
Sunderland/Southampton v Chelsea
Tottenham v West Ham

Speaking of Spurs, they're planning a new stadium. And some of their neighbors aren't terribly pleased with the plans.

From Tottenham to Arsenal, now, and Dennis Bergkamp has a book out. Tom Sweetman quite likes it, apparently. Read.

Have at it.

Onward!!

-SSN

Gas Leak At SSN Headquarters = Day Off

Luckily, there were only a few of us in the office when we were forced to vacate. Buonjourno is still in Europe (Chelsea beat Arsenal), Davide is still on assignment in Argentina (brawl), Luca remains in Africa researching for his upcoming book on that continent's football, and Erica is either in Sweden or Norway preparing to post on the ultra culture up there. More tomorrow. -Ed.

FIFA Madness, What's In Your Wallet? Cup, Scribes, Petit

We'll begin this Tuesday with FIFA. The idiots running the asylum want more teams involved in the World Cup. More teams = more cash. More teams = shittier matches. More teams = more power for the powerful. Assholes. Enough of that nonsense.

Might Zaha actually start?!

Karbassiyoon, Larsson, Cygan...

We hope you enjoyed the match report from Signor Buonjourno. Headquarters is terribly quiet without him but it would appear he's having fun across the pond.

We've got the League Cup today and there is a good one as Chelsea head across London to face Arsenal. Mourinho threatened to play his youth side but recanted and we all know the League Cup is where Arsène Wenger tests young Gunners' mettle under fire, so expect to see some fresh faces. Speaking of young Gunners, here's a complete list. Where are they now?

The clocks have already changed over there so matches today kick off at 3:45pm EDT. The London Derby is on beIN Sport USA. Elsewhere, Manchester United host Norwich, Birmingham welcome Stoke, Leicester City host Fulham, and West Ham are at Burnley.

Scribe Time!

Location: Spain
Headline: Madrid experiment fails to blunt Barca
Scribe: Phil Ball

Location: Brazil
Headline: Extraordinary Diego Costa saga set for finale
Scribe: Tim Vickery

Location: Spain
Headline: Barcelona's clásico win over Madrid leaves more questions than answers
Scribe: Sid Lowe

Location: Germany
Headline: Borussia Dortmund's derby flair marred by flare-up with their fans
Scribe: Raphael Honigstein

Location: Brazil
Headline: Flamengo, Botofogo and the fickle nature of Brazilian football fans
Scribe: Tim Vickery (again!)

Location: Italy
Headline: Roma close on record as Bradley counters charge of squad's lack of depth
Scribe: Paolo Bandini

It's still early days in the Premier League, but it's worth taking a look at the State of Things.

"He's blond, he's slick, his name's a porno flick." Emmanuel Petit talks about his career here.

We mentioned yesterday that the MLS regular season has come to a close. Avi Creditor says the pressure's on Red Bulls, Dempsey as MLS playoffs get underway.

We'll conclude today's dribble with a return to Italia. As you Roma have busted out of the gates. One of the main reasons why is  Mehdi Benatia. Have at it.

Onward!!

-SSN

SSN Special Report: Alessandro Buonjourno in Milan

SSN's Serie A Expert Alessandro Buonjourno recently departed SSN Headquarters for a brief jaunt to Europe. He took in Inter's match against Hellas Verona on Saturday and filed this report. Next up for Alessandro is Arsenal vs. Liverpool. Stay tuned...     -The Editor

San Siro Sunset

Inter Milan 4 – 2 Hellas Verona

Match Report

10/26/2013

Four gol di culo were enough to see Inter reclaim fourth from surprise package Verona on a perfect fall evening at the San Siro Saturday. Whether or not Inter’s sloppy concession after two early goals was due in part to the distracting and awkward choreography of the Curva Nord’s statement against recent FIGC sanctions, Walter Mazzarri’s men were ultimately little troubled by a Verona side unable to respond adequately to Inter’s scrappy assortment of goals poached  exclusively inside the six-yard box.

Things got going early for Inter, albeit with Jonathan likely knowing little about turning in Cambiasso’s redirected corner kick on ten minutes, with Wilson Palacios  following up two minutes later with a more purposeful  cross-goal effort from similar range. The defensive frailties that undid Inter last season returned however when the oncoming Martinho did well to chest down a return pass on the edge of the area and find the space and composure to slot past  Juan Carrizo, (deputizing for the suspended Hamdanovic), sending an already boisterous away crowd into head-rattling rapture. This was in stark contrast to the home support opposite them, who had spent the previous two goals un-and refurling a series of protest banners. Cambiasso added Inter’s third in the 38^th minute, stabbing in from close range after Nagatomo’s well-struck shot rebounded of the far post.

The withdrawal of Cambiasso and Palacios in the second half noticeably blunted Inter’s attacking threat, but an own goal bundled across the line from an Alvarez corner sealed things for the home side, putting them up 4-1 in the 61^st minute. Verona did manage to pull one back following some classic back-to-goal holdup work from former Azzurri talisman and eternal journeyman (15 clubs and counting) Luca Toni, who passed neatly along the edge of the box in the 71^st minute for Romulo to shoot into the bottom corner. Both sides went down to ten men in the 90^th minute for afters between Moras and Belfodil, but the scoreline held, sending satisfied home fans back into Milan amidst droning columns of departing mopeds and the distant echo of Verona supporters, still in full song.

-Alessandro Buonjourno

El Clásico, Hart Howler, Howard Heroics, Red Bulls, Michael Bradley's Back, Pato?

Monday Morning. Let's do this. We went into the weekend talking Clásico, so that's how we'll exit the weekend. Barcelona won the thing 2-1, albeit not without controversy. What a surprise. There are Three Thoughts here, along with some nice gifs of the Ronaldo no-call and Sanchez's dirty chip. La Liga expert Guillem Balague takes a detailed look at the match here. And we are honored to present you with Player Ratings. Ten keys to the win for Barcelona? Right.

But who won the Clash of the WAGs?

Over in England, Joe Hart goofed yet again to gift The Special One and his Blues a win over The Blues. The other Blues. Torres continued to improve, Aguero continued to score, and Mourinho continued to try to hog the spotlight, this time by hopping into the stands and kissing some dude. Here's the howler followed by the celebration. Meanwhile, according to John Crace, Tottenham fans had every right to boo another no-show at White Hart Lane, although their side did get all three points in the end. Arsenal stayed top despite playing with 10 men, Sunderland and a strong Yank Abroad Jozy Altidore defeated Newcastle, Yank Abroad Tim Howard saved a penalty and Everton won at Villa, Manchester United came back to win a thriller over Stoke, and Suarez scored three to lead Liverpool. Hit these, yo:

Weekend Review

10 Talking Points

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Five Thoughts

Check out this pretty great little vid from the traveling fans at Villa Park as Yank Abroad Timmy Howard saved Benteke's penalty:

There were some of us here at SSN Headquarters who were concerned about Michael Bradley. Dude got hurt and his absence from the Roma squad coincided with the surge to the top of the table by i Giallorossi. Not to worry! Bradley got a chance yesterday and took it well, netting the winning goal for Roma against Udinese. Here's everything you need to know. And this is good, too. More from Paolo domani.

Goal For Roma. Number 4. Michael Bradley.

This weekend was the final in Major League Soccer's regular season. The New York Red Bulls defeated the Chicago Fire and claimed the Supporters' Shield with the best record. Here's how the weekend went down.

Remember Alex Pato? He was supposed to be Brazil's next big thing. He was not. He's still only 24 but his Milan days seem years away. He had a weekend to forget.

'Til Tuesday.

-SSN

El Clásico, Let's Talk About Cesc, Kuwait Kickboxing Ref, Lawro vs. Joe Montana, Ronaldo's Boys Underwear Competition

Err...

El Clásico! El Clásico! El Clásico! Why is it such a big deal? Amy Lawrence, could you please ask Sid Lowe and get some answers? Yes? Cheers. The match can be viewed mañana in the USA on BeIN Sport at 12pm EDT. Here's Sid's preview of the Clash of Titans. And let's toss in a Top Ten Clásico Moments while we're at it. There will be other matches in La Liga this weekend. Hard to imagine, we know, but it's true. Here's a bit more on that.

SSN pal Ryan T. is over in Barcelona for the match and took this lovely shot earlier today. Wanker...

Back in England the big ones are on Sunday. The Tyne-Wear Derby takes place at the Stadium of Light and Manchester City travel to Stamford Bridge to face Chelsea. Here's all you need to know:

Weekend Preview

Weekend Preview II

10 Things To Look Out For

Lawro & Joe Montana's Predictions

Paul Merson's Predictions

Classic Tyne-Wear Derby Moments

The Big Interview is Cesc Fábregas and Sid Lowe is asking the questions. Outstanding. Let's talk about Cesc.

Good times in Kuwait!


Football Weekly Extra? Yes, please! Plump up a cushion, because we've got another cracker in store as Barry Glendenning, Simon Burnton and Iain Macintosh join AC Jimbo for the latest Football Weekly Extraaaa. We start with all the action in the Champions League, where Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored four for PSG and Cristiano Ronaldo bagged another brace for Real against Juventus. Now, if only these two supreme players and their egos could go head-to-head with a place at the World Cup up for grabs...Next we look forward to a big weekend in the Premier League, including the Tyne-Wear derby and Manchester City's trip to Chelsea, and manager-less Crystal Palace's game with Arsenal. Plus, there's our friend Sid Lowe looking ahead to El Clásico, a bit of Scottish football, and a magnificent discussion about swashbuckling.

Just because...

No real biggies in Italy, we're afraid. Here are some briefs of all the fixtures, nonetheless. You need to stay informed, after all.

We'll finish this week with one last look at Fergie's book. The Dirty Tackle has assembled a list of Who Hates Sir Alex The Most Right Now.

Go Forth And Conquer.

-SSN

Russian Racists, The Zlatan Strikes, Holloway Sacked

Good grief. Man City's win in Moscow was overshadowed by racist chants from CSKA fans. Of course, the club say "nothing special happened." What does that mean, exactly? Assholes. At least City won the match. Elsewhere, their Manchester rivals United won at Old Trafford. Richard Jolly was there.

We've been treated to loads of extraordinary goals already this season. Over in Belgium last night, The Zlatan scored four against Yank Abroad Sacha Kljestan and his hapless Anderlecht. The Zlatan's second and third are, frankly, absurd. Enjoy:


Back at the Bernabéu, Ronaldo did his best to keep up with the Swede's heroics by scoring two himself as Real Madrid downed Juventus. Sid Lowe was there and filed this report. Thanks, Sid!

This is a wrap of all of yesterday's Champions League activity. Let's talk about ten things of note from this latest round of the top European club competition, shall we? Excellent. Cheers.

Sorry, Ian, but you're fired.

As we assumed on Tuesday, Ian Holloway's bald dome was the first head to roll in the EPL this campaign. Dominic Fifield says he leaves dispirited Crystal Palace a tired and resigned man. No arguments from anyone here at SSN Headquarters. Rumors have it that Palace want Tony Pubis. Oh, dear...

Right. What else? Yes. There's another Champions League going on at the moment. CONCACAF has it's own little affair featuring the top clubs in the region. It allows teams like L.A. Galaxy to clash with El Salvador’s Isidro Metapán. So...cool. Brian Straus is interested. Hit the link if you are as well.

Sticking with the United States, there is a new book and a new film that illustrate the passion surrounding the Seattle Sounders. Grant Wahl saw the film and says it's got some damn fine moments.

Since we've had so many great goals to enjoy of late, we'll conclude today with a collection of misses. Benzema had a nice one last night against Juve, and he gets things rolling. Enjoy.

-SSN

Chelsea Cruise, Arsenal Lose, Milan & Barca Draw, Today's Action, Gooch to QPR

Simply disgusted with his team's effort against Chelsea...

And a lovely Wednesday to you! Diving right into yesterday's Champions League action, we'll begin in Gelsenkirchen, where a professional display from The Special One's side provided a 3-0 away win over Schalke and the excuse for us to use that photo. Ahem. Poor lad. Anyway, Torres scored and Chelsea now sit atop their group.

Back in London, it was 1-1 and Arsenal were pressing for a win but Dortmund and Lewandowski had other ideas and nicked the three points with a late goal.

Jonathan Wilson says the loss revealed Arsenal's weaknesses.

Barney Ronay is more optimistic and says Olivier Giroud took center stage.

Phil McNulty wonders how Arsenal can learn from the defeat.

This is interesting.

Back at the San Siro, it was Turn Back the Clock Day as Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite (aka Kaká) and Robson de Souza (aka Robinho) combined for Milan's goal. Barcelona's came via (who else?) a fine finish from one Lionel Messi. 1-1 was your final score.

Here's a wrap of all of Tuesday's Champions League action.

Today we've got more matches (yay!) including Real Madrid vs. Juventus, Manchester United vs. Real Sociedad, Bayern Munich vs. Viktoria Plzen, and CSKA Moscow vs. Manchester City (they're painting the pitch green!).

Sid Lowe is on hand to let us know that it might be the ideal time for a nervy United to face a sinking Sociedad. And hey, just where has it gone wrong for Manchester United and David Moyes?

Gooch is back! He signed with QPR. Have fun with 'Arry, friend.

We'll conclude this Hump Day with more on Sir Alex. Jon Snow interviewed him. Check it.

-SSN

Champions League, Podcast, Fulham Goals, Scribes, Fergie Book

Mega Tuesday!

Good grief, there's loads on the plate today. Let's kick off with a look at last night's action in South London. Palace are in big trouble after Fulham hit them for four last night at Selhurst Park. Everyone at SSN Headquarters has money on Ian's head being the first to roll this season. Sachin Nakrani was there and filed this report. For video of the latest Goal of the Season contenders, hit the link below.

The Podcast. One of the things they discuss this week is the amazing goals we saw. Wilshere, Ibra, et al. But the piece was recorded prior to Kasami's ridiculous van Basten imitation and Sidwell's sick volley. This bit in The Guardian has all of the best, including the two from Fulham last night.

'Ol Red Nose is a writer.

Sir Alex Ferguson's novel is being released today. Here's the story: basically, when literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms. Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons...Wait! No! It's about Fergie's time in football. Non-fiction. Sorry. Here are 10 Things We Learned from the book. And 4 Revelations. And Best Bits.

Scribe Time!

Location: Germany
Headline: Bayer Leverkusen 'ghost goal' could prompt Germany to draw the line
Scribe: Raphael Honigstein

Location: Spain
Headline: Barcelona's stutter, Atletico's loss and Real Madrid's win mean the Liga title race feels unusually open
Scribe: Phil Ball

Location: Italy
Headline: Giuseppe Rossi guns down Juventus as Fiorentina party likes it's 1998
Scribe: Paolo Bandini

Location: Spain
Headline: Getafe's Pedro León on the way back to being Pedro León again
Scribe: Sid Lowe

Location: Brazil
Headline: Atletico Madrid striker Diego Costa could be 'one who got away' for Brazil
Scribe: Tim Vickery

Location: United States
Headline: Roma’s hot start leaves Michael Bradley behind; MLS expansion takes shape
Scribe: Grant Wahl

Kahn = Happy

There are some matches this afternoon. Mainly, AC Milan vs. Barcelona, Arsenal vs. Borussia Dortmund, and Schalke vs. Chelsea.

Here's a complete preview of today's action.

And here is what to watch during Matchday Three.

More? That's fine.

Major League Soccer just complete Week 34. It's almost over, folks. This right here is a recap of the weekend activity, along with some Power Rankings. Who is the most powerful, you ask? New York Red Bulls.

Ok. We're spent. Enjoy your Super Mega Grande Tuesday.

-SSN

Fiorentina, Roma, Arsenal, Bale, UEFA Playoffs, Monday Night Football

Well, Good Morning, Friends!

It's good to have club football back, is it not? Come on. It's so superior. We were treated to many a match of big fun this weekend. On Friday morning we were excited about Roma vs. Napoli. Our excitement was justified. Roma put a big-ass-twins-sucking-wolf-teets-stamp on the Serie A race with a strong win over Rafa's side at Stadio Olympico. They are now five points clear. You'd think that would be the story of the fixture date. If so, you'd be wrong. Everyone wants to talk Fiorentina instead. La Viola rocked Juventus 4-2 thanks to a hat-trick from Jersey Boy Giuseppi Rossi. Check the full Serie A weekend breakdown qui.

WTF!!?? Barcelona did not score a goal against Osasuna. Nil-Nil, it was. Elsewhere, Real Madrid ground out a win and welcomed Gareth back into the fold. Hit this.

Spurs fan rejoice..and the linesman pays the price.

In England, everyone is raving about Arsenal's goal-glut at the Emirates against Norwich City. While each of the four goals from the home side were crafted with deft skill, the first of the match is one that will be replayed over and over for years to come. Watch carefully, because you won't see this again for a long time. Or ever. Why? Because it's two back-heels, three one-twos, four first-time passes...and a volleyed finish. Elsewhere, 10-man Newcastle managed a draw with Liverpool, United allowed a late Southampton goal and drew 1-1, City had little trouble with West Ham, Chelsea courted controversy in their win over Cardiff City, and Tottenham cruised past Aston Villa. Here's your required reading:

Premier League Review

10 Talking Points

5 Thoughts
Best of the Weekend
Tactics Board

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Andros Townsend led Tottenham to a win at Villa as noted above. He's English. He's creative. He's quick. He's playing quite well. Phil McNulty looks at the burgeoning bandwagon.

In Major League Soccer, former Everton boxing legend Tim Cahill scored the fastest goal in the history of the league whilst standing in the shadows. Baby. It took seven seconds for the New York Energy Drink player to find the net against Houston. Here are Five Things We Learned from the weekend.




There is Monday Night Football tonight. And it's a London Derby! What? Oh, it's Palace vs. Fulham. Well, could be worse.

Finally, we'll finish with a brief return to the international side of the game. The draw for the UEFA playoff took place and either Ronaldo or The Zlatan will not be attending the festivities next summer in Brazil. It is: Sweden vs. Portugal, Iceland vs. Croatia, Ukraine vs. France, and Romania vs. Greece. The first legs will be played on November 15 and the return on November 19.

Do everyone a favor and make this week your best buddy, um kay?

-SSN