FIFA Madness, What's In Your Wallet? Cup, Scribes, Petit

We'll begin this Tuesday with FIFA. The idiots running the asylum want more teams involved in the World Cup. More teams = more cash. More teams = shittier matches. More teams = more power for the powerful. Assholes. Enough of that nonsense.

Might Zaha actually start?!

Karbassiyoon, Larsson, Cygan...

We hope you enjoyed the match report from Signor Buonjourno. Headquarters is terribly quiet without him but it would appear he's having fun across the pond.

We've got the League Cup today and there is a good one as Chelsea head across London to face Arsenal. Mourinho threatened to play his youth side but recanted and we all know the League Cup is where Arsène Wenger tests young Gunners' mettle under fire, so expect to see some fresh faces. Speaking of young Gunners, here's a complete list. Where are they now?

The clocks have already changed over there so matches today kick off at 3:45pm EDT. The London Derby is on beIN Sport USA. Elsewhere, Manchester United host Norwich, Birmingham welcome Stoke, Leicester City host Fulham, and West Ham are at Burnley.

Scribe Time!

Location: Spain
Headline: Madrid experiment fails to blunt Barca
Scribe: Phil Ball

Location: Brazil
Headline: Extraordinary Diego Costa saga set for finale
Scribe: Tim Vickery

Location: Spain
Headline: Barcelona's clásico win over Madrid leaves more questions than answers
Scribe: Sid Lowe

Location: Germany
Headline: Borussia Dortmund's derby flair marred by flare-up with their fans
Scribe: Raphael Honigstein

Location: Brazil
Headline: Flamengo, Botofogo and the fickle nature of Brazilian football fans
Scribe: Tim Vickery (again!)

Location: Italy
Headline: Roma close on record as Bradley counters charge of squad's lack of depth
Scribe: Paolo Bandini

It's still early days in the Premier League, but it's worth taking a look at the State of Things.

"He's blond, he's slick, his name's a porno flick." Emmanuel Petit talks about his career here.

We mentioned yesterday that the MLS regular season has come to a close. Avi Creditor says the pressure's on Red Bulls, Dempsey as MLS playoffs get underway.

We'll conclude today's dribble with a return to Italia. As you Roma have busted out of the gates. One of the main reasons why is  Mehdi Benatia. Have at it.

Onward!!

-SSN