USA Advance to Brazil 2014, Argentina, Italy, Dutch In, Martina Hyde on Blatter, The Kagawa Conundrum

You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, then who the hell else are you talking- You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? Huh?

Out in O-H-I-O last night the United States defeated Mexico to earn a spot at next summer's World Cup in Brazil. It was bloody fantastic. Mexico were ass, the crowd was amazing, Deuce missed a penalty, Donovan had pink eye, Timmy Howard looked like Isaac Hayes, and just like in Columbus in 2001, 2005, and 2009, it finished Dos a Cero a los Gringos.

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Ives was there

Grant was there

And he has Three Thoughts
U.S. Player Grades
Mexico Player Grades

Andrea Canales: Same Old Mexico

Meanwhile, down in Asunción, two Messi penalties helped Argentina thump Paraguay and book their ticket north to Brazil. Colombia could not do the same as they lost in Uruguay. Here's a wrap of yesterday's CONMEBOL acción.

In UEFA, England were bleh yet again in their scoreless draw with Ukraine. Elsewhere, the Italians and the Dutch clinched berths in Brazil, and France overcame a couple of Lloris errors to beat Belarus. That's a wrap. And Trap got the sack.

Let's just bounce to this: World Cup qualifiers: who's in, out and who has their fingers crossed. Thank you, Jonathan Wilson.

We had a piece about Sepp Blatter and Qatar yesterday. Martina Hyde lends a hand with a column on the same subject today. She says: And so once more to the rolling auto-satire that is Qatar 2022, which Blatter is endeavouring to style as a post-imperial blow for human fairness, when everybody knows the tournament is meant to function as a reputation-laundering facility for a non-democratic regime whose record is deplored by any number of respected rights organisations. Yup. Couldn't have said it better ourselves.

You again?

Manchester United hope a fanzone can improve Old Trafford's dismal atmosphere, the Kagawa Conundrum, and this goal from Panama's Gabriel Torres will complete our Hump Day.

-SSN