Sheep Sacrifice, Serie A Returns, Transfer Madness, Anelka Walks, Podolski to Schalke?

It's Friday, peeps! Get ready for a slew of fine footie this weekend. Before we get into the previews, how's this for jumping the gun? Real Madrid were allowing supporters to buy Bale jerseys on the official site. For a few minutes, anyway. Looks like he's going to be Number 11. Oops. Speaking of Spurs, they had little trouble in Georgia last night. Swansea also won in Europa League action, and Mario Gomez got his Fiorentina career underway with a strike in La Viola's victory over Grasshopper in Zurich. Here's a little wrap to let you know what went down in UEFA's secondary club competition.

The big news this weekend is the return of Calcio. There is nobody better than Paolo Bandini to give us a Season Preview. Grazie mille, Paolo!

Dude, Hellas Verona are back in Serie A! They host Milan tomorrow and Verona's mayor has already told Super Mario to behave. Hah!

And, for the first time ever, Unione Sportiva Sassuolo Calcio will play in Serie A. Welcome.

Elsewhere, Juventus and Carlos Tevez head to Sampdoria, Inter host Genoa, and Michael Bradley and Roma will be in Livorno.  Here's a preview of the weekend fixtures.

They'll play in Spain, as well. No real biggies this weekend, however. Here's a preview.

Back in the UK, the biggest clash isn't until Monday when Manchester United and Chelsea square off. We'll tackle that then. Meanwhile, we've got a London Derby at Craven Cottage with Arsenal making the trip down to Fulham, City are in Wales to face Cardiff, Tottenham host Swansea, and Liverpool go to Villa. Here's a complete preview. And here are some key stories to keep you busy. You want predictions? Check it: Lawro's Predictions. More? Fine: Paul Merson's Predictions

"Huh? I thought it was William, not Willian. I want my shitty rapper!"

The transfer madness continues. Word is Roman has gotten involved and the Black Eyed Pea will now go to Chelsea instead of Spurs. Bale? Benzema? Suarez? Ozil? The Mill and your Plus One break it all down. Wait, did Arsenal sign someone? Nope, they're just going to get rid of someone else.

Oh, and Anelka bailed on West Brom. Shocking. Le Sulk played for 12 clubs. Is he done? Not sure.

Hey! Yank Abroad Jozy Altidore has a column. Let's check it out.

We'll conclude with this. Remember that Celtic lost their Europa League match to Kazakh opposition, right? Turns out it's all because their opponents killed some sheep. Duh. Look: "The animal was sacrificed in the corner of the stadium by Shakhter before they commenced a training session on Monday, a day ahead of their 2-0 victory in the first leg at the Astana Arena." Oh, dear...

That's it. We out. Enjoy your weekend.

Onward!!

-SSN