Balotelli, Chelsea Feel the Love, Arsenal Win, Bale Finally Ready to Bail?

Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea. Have you got some spare cash? Current odds for the London outfit to win the league sit around two to one. Not bad when you consider what went down at The Bridge yesterday. Amy Lawrence was there. The conspiracy theorists among us think that the refs gather ahead of the season, determine who shall win, and jog out onto the pitch to make it happen between August and May. Crazy thoughts, to be sure, but you never know. Even the esteemed Henry Winter agrees that a few winks from Lady Luck were necessary to claim all three points. Before we depart, here are Five Talking Points.

Across the continent in Istanbul, Arsenal benefited from a surprisingly anemic Fenerbahce side to triumph in their first leg Champions League qualifier 0 - 3. What a difference a few days make. Jeremy Wilson took in the action on the Bosphorus. There were other matches, but nobody really cares, do they?

If so, here's a wee wrap.

Bam! Gareth Motherfucking Bale! Bam! The greatest player since...since...anyway. It looks like he's finally ready to make the big move to Madrid. Los Blancos will have to shell out a pretty peso (euro) to do the deed, though. And they might have to add a Coentrao. £94million??!! Sheesh. It all makes for some prime entertainment, though.

Once Bale gets to Real, he and Ronaldo can have a "Dive-Off" competition.

Entry One: Gareth Bale 

Entry Two: Cristiano Ronaldo

Sorry, we don't mean to hate. Don't want to be haters. But, you know...

Right! Tottenham actually have a match to worry about this evening. They're currently with The Devil down in Georgia to take on Macon FC. Wait, what's that? Sorry -- it's actually Dynamo Tbilisi. Here's a preview. If you want to take in the action from Georgia, find a stream.

Is Mario Balotelli the Most Interesting Man in the World? Sports Illustrated and Grant Wahl would like you to think as much. Or that he can walk on water at the very least.

Sticking with Italy and Serie A, here are Five Questions ahead of the new season that kicks off this weekend.

The Mill? Check. Plus One? Check.

And let's end on this one: Chamakh blames his ass-form on a blackmail case. Hmmmm.

That's your lot. Bug off.

Onward!!

-SSN