Premier League Insanity. Anti-Semitism & Anelka. Andy Cole Racially Abused on a Plane. The Year for United States Soccer.

What Up?! We opened SSN Headquarters to check on the dog, make sure the internet is working, and do some cleaning. Turns out it's pretty much all Premier League, friends. While the superstars of the leagues in Spain, Germany, and Italy rest and relax (or hit the dunes in Dubai), those plying their trade in England and Wales are hard at work. For instance...Sachin Nakrani was at Upton Park over the weekend and Nic Anelka is in hot water over some sort of French gesture. Oh. Well, then. "Ye Ol Reverse Nazi." even on the rare occasion when he scores goals and plays hard he still manages to screw it all up. Hey Le Sulk! Thanks for the memories and never fulfilling your potential and letting your brothers lead you down a dark, dark alley. Martin Samuel reckons Anelka should be banned for 16 games.

Idiots

The big match yesterday was Liverpool at Chelsea. It did not disappoint. The Special One jumped around, Suarez jumped around, and Chelsea emerged 2-1 winners. Dominic Fifield was at Stamford Bridge. Elsewhere, Arsenal stayed top by edging (just) Newcastle. Louise Taylor was at St. James' Park. Here's the rest of everything that was in the Premier League Saturday and Sunday. Don't get caught napping -- we've got a whole slew of matches coming up in Wednesday.

Premier League Playback

Best of the Weekend

Richard Jolly's Tactics Board

10 Talking Points

Quick Six Headlines

Five Thoughts

Team of the Weekend

What We Learned This Weekend

Want to listen to some people talk about everything so you don't have to read? Thank The Good Lord for The Podcast: On the final Football Weekly of 2013, James Richardson has Barry Glendenning, James Horncastle and Marcus Christenson for company as he looks back on another wild weekend in the life of the Premier League. Near the top of the Premier League, Chelsea inflicted Liverpool's second defeat in a week, while Crystal Palace almost did the impossible and took points off Manchester City at the Etihad, but it's Arsenal who finish the year looking down on the rest after their ugly win at Newcastle. And at the bottom, Fulham put in a shocking display as they crumbled against rampant Hull City, while West Ham drew with West Brom (a result overshadowed by Nicolas Anelka's latest controversy) and Cardiff threw away the points at home to Sunderland. That, boys and girls, is pretty much it. Thanks for listening and have a happy new year.

2013 is coming to an end. As you know. And ya'll deserve an analysis of what went down in the U.S. of A., yo. Pipe this. Top moments in MLS? Knock yourselves out.

2013 is coming to and end. As you know. ESPN has picked its PL Team of the Year. Plenty to debate here.

Vincent Tan is a Wanker. A Surpreme Wanker. Malkay McKay got the sack. No, "you're fired", for him because there was no reason for the dismissal. We agree with Phil McNulty's take on the silliness.

Christ. Andy Cole was racially abused by some drunk idiots on a flight to Dublin.

Sid Lowe wants to wonder if a Boxing Day schedule could work in Spain. We oblige El Sid.

Right. That'll do for today. Enjoy the last hours of 2013.

Onward!!

-SSN

Happy Holidays

And a very fine Monday to you. 

Over the next several days posts will be brief and sporadic as SSN Staffers head away from SSN Headquarters for some family time. What you need to know now is this: Inter beat Milan. Liverpool, Manchester City, Everton, Manchester United, Tottenham, Stoke, and Newcastle won in the Premier League. Arsenal host Chelsea at 3pm EST today. Real Madrid got a lucky win. Barcelona crushed Getafe. Atlético Madrid won as well to keep pace. Bayern Munich have a seven point lead in the Bundesliga. Spain, Italy, and Germany take winter breaks. The Premier League does not and offers loads of great matches over the Christmas/Boxing Day/New Years holidays. After Monday Night Football it's a Boxing Day bonanza. Stay tuned.

Onward!!

-SSN

Milan Derby, Suárez to Stay, Barney Ronay on Christmas Footie, Weekend Previews, U.S. Men’s National Team All-Time Best XI

Friday? Really? Where did it all go...?

It's primarily previews today as Serie A, Das Bundesliga, and La Liga enjoy their final action before they disappear for a few weeks of slumber. Meanwhile, the Premier League will take the opposite approach, and force clubs to endure a Draconian run of fixtures in the cold rain and snow.

I'll be making £200,000 a week and marijuana is legal in my country.

We'll begin in Italy, Milan specifically, with the Derby della Madonnina. It'll be a weird one because neither side is enjoying a particularly solid league campaign. Inter don't have any European commitments but still sit only fifth, while Milan are way down in 11th. Add the fact that Inter's fans have been banned for abusing Neapolitans and you've got some strangeness. As James Horncastle notes, however, the clash may have lost some luster but not its spark. You can enjoy the action Sunday at 2:45pm EST on beIN Sport USA.

Spain? Meh. Nothing terribly special. Here's the rundown of what to expect.

The Premier League's premier fixture is Monday when Chelsea head up to Arsenal. Prior to that, we've got Liverpool/Cardiff, Fulham/Manchester City, Manchester United/West Ham, Southampton/Tottenham, and Swansea/Everton. Here are the items of necessity:

Premier League Preview

10 Things to Look Out For

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro/David Cameron/Troops' Predictions

As we mentioned, unlike most of the other civilized leagues in Europe, there will be no break in the schedule in the Premier League. Rather, there will be more matches to enjoy. We like that, and so does Barney Ronay. He says, "The best thing about Christmas is its football – which, like pubs, sprung out of a very British desire to avoid being at home." Yup.

Dempsey back to Fulham for a couple of months? Yes. Luis Suarez signed a new four-and-a-half-year contract with Liverpool? Yes. Christmas parties gone wrong? Yes, Yes, Yes!

Let's conclude the week's affairs with a look at the U.S. Men’s National Team All-Time Best XI. Or, at least SI.com’s Avi Creditor's and Brian Straus' picks. Cobi Jones?! Good grief.

Onward!!

-SSN

What's In Your Wallet?, Robbie Rogers, The Fiver Christmas Awards, Americans Abroad

Lovely night in Stoke...

We'll begin today with a look at yesterday's matches from the Capital One Cup, which only seems logical. Manchester United overcame Stoke and the elements to win (Aimee Lewis was at the the Britannia). And West Ham overcame Tim Sherwood, Emmanuel Adebayor (who?) and Tottenham to win (David Hytner was at White Hart Lane). Your League Cup Semis look like this: Sunderland vs. Manchester United & West Ham vs. Manchester City. So...your final looks like this: Manchester United vs. Manchester City.

So Spurs still need a gaffer. Sherwood would like to take over permanently, but that seems unlikely. Jonathan Wilson takes a closer look at the situation in North London.

The Fiver Christmas Awards 2013? Yes, please.

Time to check in with Yanks plying their trade oversees. For instance, did you know that Nantes midfielder Alejandro Bedoya played 75 minutes in a 2-1 loss to Toulouse? Didn't think so.

The Big Interview is Robbie Rogers. He had an "insane" year. Dominic Fifield sat down with the former Heerenveen, Columbus, Leeds, Los Angeles winger for chat.

That's about it for today. Pretty quiet, really. Iniesta signed a new deal so he'll finish his career at Barcelona. The Club World Championship is happening but we don't really care about that.

Onward!!

-SSN

Gibraltar, Sunderland Oust Chelsea, Brazil's Under-17s Quit Against U.S.

And a pleasant Humpday to you and yours. We saw that UEFA said that Gibraltar could field their own squad. We kind of ignored it because it's simply so ridiculous. Now comes the icrazy news that Gibraltar and Spain will be kept separate for Euro 2016 qualifying. Thankfully, Marina Hyde is on the case and decided to write about it.

Did you hear that The Rock and Spain will be kept apart
for Euro 2016 qualifying?

Oh, dear. Chelsea were knocked out of the League Cup in extra time yesterday at Sunderland. Here are Three Thoughts.

In yesterday's other fixture, Man City had little trouble with Leicester.

Today's offerings offer a bit more intrigue, as manager-less and rudder-less Tottenham host West Ham and Stoke welcome Manchester United.

Everton have done quite well this season under new man Martínez. Paul Wilson takes a look at their chances for a top-four finish.

Spanish Football? Guillem Balague claims to be an expert. You decide.

It's a quite day. Let's end with this: Brazil’s U-17 Soccer Team Quits by Just Standing There in Match against U.S.

Onward!!

-SSN

Who's Next At Spurs?, Gattuso's House Raided, FIFA Do Something Right, What's In Your Wallet?, Grant Wahl's Sportsmen of the Year

"You and I have been physically given two hands and two legs and half-decent brains. Some people have not been born like that for a reason. The karma is working from another lifetime. I have nothing to hide about that. It is not only people with disabilities. What you sow, you have to reap."
Stay classy, Glenn!

£107 million. That's a lot of scratch. Too bad AVB couldn't do anything with it. Dominic Fifield takes a closer look at the problems that plagued the Spurs gaffer. Another esteemed English scribe, one Phil McNulty, thinks it's all about The Sale of Bale. So, you want the job? You think you can be a contender? You think the disabled are paying for sins committed in a past life? Put an arm around Glenn Hoddle and get on board.

Oh, dear. Everyone's favorite Italian gladiator Gennaro Gattuso had his home raided last night as part of a match-fixing probe. Meanwhile, his former club AC Milan managed a draw with Roma last night giving Juve a five-point cushion at the top of Serie A.

International Scribe Time! Sadly, Phil Ball has gone AWOL. We've not heard from him for too long. Thankfully, we've got others:

Location: Spain

Headline: Atlético Madrid come within a whisker of finally toppling Barcelona

Scribe: Sid Lowe

Location: Italy

Headline: Benítez lets headlines speak for themselves as Napoli see off Inter

Scribe: Paolo Bandini

Location: Germany

Headline: Third-division side upstage mighty Bayern

Scribe: Uli Hesse

Location: Germany

Headline: Wolfsburg Aim to be Easter Bunnies

Scribe: Raphael Honigstein

Location: Brazil

Headline: Titles Decided Across South America

Scribe: Tim Vickery

Hey Josip! Have fun at the World Cup. Not! Asshole.

Podcast, Podcast, Podcast! James Richardson is joined by Barry Glendenning, Simon Burnton and Paul MacInnes to discuss another eventful Premier League weekend and the draw for the Champions League last 16. André Villas-Boas is given the boot at Tottenham Hotspur after Liverpool thrash them 5-0 and the pod debates where it all went wrong for him as well as admiring some spectacular attacking play by Liverpool. Mesmeric Man City are also in the goals against Arsenal and the pod drools over their Champions League date with the mighty Barcelona as well as Bayern Munich's tie with Arsenal. Sid Lowe has all the news from La Liga where the three-way title race is in full swing and there's also full reaction to the sacking of Steve Clarke at West Bromwich Albion and the rest of the Champions League and Europa League draw.

It's that time of year (the end) when pundits and scribes and experts and faux-experts pick their sportsmen/women/things of the year. We're posting Grant Wahl's picks because we think him wise. Bob Bradley and Robbie Rogers. Enjoy.

There are some matches today if you're up for the Cup. The League Cup. The Capital One Cup. We've got Sunderland vs. Chelsea and Leicester vs. Manchester City. Quarterfinals. Hey, it's something!

That's your Tuesday, folks. Keep it tite.

Onward!!

-SSN

Champions League Draw, Spurs Sack AVB, Weekend Reviews, Dempsey Back to Fulham

Bang! Right out of the box this Monday. First up? Champions League draw. As expected, Manchester City (Barcelona) and Arsenal (Bayern Munich) will face tough opposition. Here's the complete list:

Manchester City v Barcelona

Olympiakos v Manchester United

Milan v Atlético Madrid

Bayer Leverkusen v PSG

Galatasaray v Chelsea

Schalke v Real Madrid

Zenit v Borussia Dortmund

Arsenal v Bayern Munich

It should certainly provide some epic ties. Besides those mentioned above, Milan/Atlético Madrid and Galatasaray/Chelsea are enticing to SSN staffers. Let's look at the match-ups. 2014, yo!

AVB, Steve, step into my office...

Someone who suddenly has some free time to get his shopping done and enjoy the holidays is Andre Villas-Boas. As you'll see below in the fallout from the weekend matches in the Premier League, the pundits wondered if Tottenham's battering by Liverpool at White Hart Lane might be too much for the young Portuguese gaffer to bear. In the end, it was. Jeremy Wilson has five reasons it all went wrong for AVB. Also let go since we last spoke? Poor Steve Clarke at West Brom. 

Right! So, the Premier League. Manchester City 6 - 3 Arsenal. Tottenham 0 - 5 Liverpool. We said on Friday that these two matches would bookend the weekend nicely and we were spot on, thank you very much. Both offered some stunning play, intrigue, and ultimately, AVB's job. Here's a look at all the other shit that went down:

Premier League Review

Premier League Playback

10 Talking Points

Five Thoughts

Best of the Weekend

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Aston Villa 0 - 3 Manchester United: Richard Jolly at Villa Park

Jack loses his cool...

Looks like Deuce will be back at Craven Cottage for a little loan spell this winter. God knows, they need him. All the best, Clint.

Over in Italy, Juventus are now six clear at the top (Roma play today against Milan) thanks for a Carlos Tevez hat-trick. Elsewhere, Napoli took care of Inter 4-2. And...here's a review. Back in Spain, Neymar is in form and helped Barcelona to victory over Villarreal, while Real Madrid salvaged a point against Osasuna. Meanwhile, Atlético kept pace with Barca with a win against Valencia.

So...uh...wanna go back to my place?

That'll have to do for today. We'll be back tomorrow with more scribes and perhaps a Podcast and certainly some Monday Musings.

Onward!!

-SSN

Weekend Previews

RVP = Took A Corner Kick = Strained His Thigh = Out For A Month

Goodness gracious. Yet another week in the books. Put it on the board! The Champions League will hibernate until February, but we've still got domestic league action to keep us warm into 2014. Italy, Germany, and Spain continue for a couple weeks before they take a break, while England just keeps rolling until May. Let's see what's up tomorrow and Sunday.

La Liga returns to action after taking a break to search for the King's Cup. Real Madrid go to Osasuna, Barcelona host Villarreal, and Atlético Madrid welcome Valencia to the Vicente Calderón. Here are Five Things To Watch in Spain this weekend.

In Serie A, Inter's trip to Napoli certainly excites as only four points separate those two clubs. Napoli must keep their chins up after their Champions League exit. Elsewhere, Fiorentina host Bologna and leaders Juventus welcome Sass Sass Sassuolo. There's a big one on Monday as Roma travel to Milan. A loss by Milan will pretty much put their domestic campaign to bed. Here's a weekend preview.

In the Premier League, things kick off with a cracker early tomorrow as Manchester City host Arsenal. The other match of the weekend book-ends things nicely on Sunday: Tottenham vs. Liverpool. Here's what you need to know:

Premier League Preview

10 Things To Look Out For

Phil McNulty: Manchester City vs. Arsenal Preview

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro's Predictions

Barca's new inside the shirt sponsor

Are you wondering what Americans Abroad are doing this weekend? Wonder no more! Hint: Bobby Wood and his 1860 Munich side play St. Pauli.

Simon Kuper (he of Soccernomics fame) has a column. Simon's headline: The real cost of hosting a World Cup.

That's all we've got today. Enjoy your weekend.

Onward!!

-SSN

Final 16 Set, Keano/Vieira Video, Jonathan Wilson in Argentina, Ajax Fans Stabbed in Milan

The Napoli faithful honor their hero.

Woof! Quite the afternoon yesterday as Group F went down to the wire. The drama we expected arrived in the shape of two late Napoli goals and one late Dortmund goal. In the end, Dortmund topped the group, Arsenal finished second, and the Napoli players cried in the dressing room. David Hytner was at Stadio San Paolo. Back in London, Chelsea secured top spot in Group E with a narrow win over Steaua Bucharest. Dominic Fifield was at Stamford Bridge. Did you know that Champions League history was made because all four German sides advanced? It's true. Raphael Honigstein takes a gander at das success of das Bundesliga. Of course, someone has to take a hit for that to happen. That someone? Italy.

Here's some additional fun: 10 Talking Points (Yes!) Matchday Six Review (Thank you!) Permutations (OK!)

The final eight clubs that have advanced: 

Group E

1. Chelsea

2. Schalke 04

Group F

1. Borussia Dortmund

2. Arsenal

Group G

1. Atlético Madrid

2. Zenit St. Petersburg

Group H

1. Barcelona

2. AC Milan

The draw will take place on Monday with Manchester City and Arsenal nervous about the giants that lay in wait...

Smashing! Right, then. It's been far too long since we checked in on Argentina's domestic league. It's such a shit show down there with all the violence and corruption that you never know if they'll actually play matches or simply shoot each other. Thankfully, Jonathan Wilson is willing to take a look at what appears to be a fantastic finale to the Torneo Inicial.

Man. We were able to catch some of the Patrick Vieira/Roy Keane One-On-One last night. It aired in the UK and we viewed via 101 Great Goals. Spend some time with this -- it's fantastic. Do it.

Britain football's rich list? Try and enjoy. Featuring such luminaries as Ashely Young, John Terry, James Milner, and Cashley Cole. Barf.

And Ajax fans were stabbed in Milan. Cough.

Onward!!

-SSN

What We've Got is Champions League, Marina Hyde on Sir Alex vs. Keano, Louise Taylor on Anzhi, Jozy Altidore on the World Cup Draw

Right. And a pleasant hump day to you. 

Hopefully you enjoyed some of yesterday's action. Here are the basics:

Manchester City looked very composed (Silva is back) and beat Bayern, but apparently didn't know what they needed to do to top the group. Oops. Barney Ronay was at the Allianz Arena.

Manchester United were God-awful in the first half and have a Phil Jones goal to thank for their 1-0 win over The Shak. John Brewin has three thoughts about things at Old Trafford.

Cristiano Ronaldo set the record for most goals in the group stage as Real Madrid coasted past Copenhagen.

Forced to abandon their match in Istanbul because of too much snow, Galatasaray and Juventus completed things this morning. Wesley Sneijder scored the only goal to send the Turks through to the Final 16 at the expense of The Old Lady.

Anderlecht did not advance, but Sacha Kljestan became the fifth Yank to score in the Champions League. The other four? Can you name them? Didn't think so. Here they are: Jovan Kirovski, DaMarcus Beasley, Maurice Edu, Jermaine Jones. Full disclosure -- It took a collaborative effort of SSN staff-members to name them.

Here's a Round-Up.

Yeah...this ain't happening.

Here are the eight clubs that have advanced: 

Group A

1. Manchester United

2. Bayern Leverkusen

Group B

1. Real Madrid

2. Galatasary

Group C

1. Paris Saint-Germain

2. Olympicos

Group D

1. Bayern Munich

2. Manchester City

Today's big one is Napoli vs. Arsenal. That Group (F) has three clubs that can finish with 12 points. Wenger vs. Benítez. The Neapolitan Ultras. Violence. Mayhem. It should be good. Elsewhere, you've got Chelsea/Steaua, Barcelona/Celtic, and Milan/Ajax. Here's a complete preview, including all the permutations.

Oh, Sir Alex and Roy Keane. The feud that just won't quit. No, it simply keeps getting better. Marina Hyde is clearly enjoying all the hoopla.

Time to check in with Jozy! Everyone's favorite American who plays for Sunderland is talking World Cup draw...and...his goal against Chelsea.

What happens when sugar daddies get bored? Louise Taylor takes a look at the Anzhi insanity.

Everton's Ross Barkley has been receiving loads of plaudits for his fine play of late. He's being hailed as "The New Gazza." Gary Rose says he's more than that.

Sam Kelly is a solid scribe plying his trade down in South America. He takes a look at the reaction to the World Cup draw down there.

Done and Done.

Onward!!

-SSN

Champions League, Scribes, "The Glove", "The Finger", Podcast, Keane & Vieira

Simply smelling would be the better option...

Oh, dear. It would appear that boys being boys at Stoke back in the day involved something called "the Glove, or "the Finger," whereby a goalkeeper's glove was smeared with heat cream and used in a sexual assault. Good times.

Apologies for breaking into your Tuesday on such a high note. Let's move on to our good friends. They're know collectively as Scribes. We're not sure why, but Phil Ball hasn't posted in a while. And we miss him. Sniff. Also, nothing today from El Sid. So, nothing from Spain.

Location: Italy

Headline: Destro rides again as Francesco Totti lifts the fans

Scribe: Paolo Bandini

Location: Germany

Headline: Win, lose - or draw?

Scribe: Uli Hesse

Location: Germany

Headline: Leverkusen dare to dream of the title after outclassing Dortmund

Scribe: Raphael Honigstein

Location: Brazil

Headline: England can conquer heat, humidity and travel

Scribe: Tim Vickery

It's the final round of the Champions League group stages. Who can qualify? Who has already qualified? Check it. Here's your complete preview of today's matches. 

The Premier League was awfully exciting this past weekend. Let's take an alternative look back, and a wee look ahead.

As we said yesterday, Major League Soccer is done. Here are the highs, lows and greatest goals of the year and the memories that will sustain until the next season starts...according to a bunch of bloggers and fans assembled by The Guardian.

The ITV documentary with Roy Keane and Patrick Vieira aired last night. Here are the highlights.

Crikey! Podcast! On today's Football Weekly, James Richardson has Barry Glendenning, James Horncastle and Michael Hann are in the pod to try to make sense of another nonsensical weekend in the Premier League, where there were surprise wins, comedy own goals and star virtuoso performances aplenty yet again. We start with the league leaders Arsenal, who were held at the Emirates by Everton, and whose former manager David Moyes oversaw another home defeat as Manchester United lost at home to Newcastle. After rounding up the rest of the games at the top and bottom of the league, we turn our attention to the few midweek Champions League games that mean anything, before finishing off with a look at the action in the Championship, and assessing England's chances of getting four points from a World Cup group featuring Uruguay, Italy and Costa Rica.

We out.

Onward!!

-SSN

Brazilian Violence, Weekend Action, World Cup Draw, Monday Night Football, Match Fixing, MLS Final

A Happy Monday to you. That said, we're going to get all the sad crap out of the way first. We'll start with the shit, and gradually build to a satisfying, happy, pleasant conclusion.

We're going to begin in Brazil, where there were horrific scenes of violence between Atlético Paranaense supporters and Vasco da Gama supporters. Everyone knew it was coming, and yet nothing was done to prevent it. Friend of SSN Chris Gaffney blogs astutely from Brazil and has this post (includes video). Fernando Duarte is also in Rio and wrote about the situation for The Guardian.

OK, enough of that. Match fixing. Six people, including DJ Campbell, were arresting in England.

OK, enough of that. You'll notice in our subject line the words, "World Cup Draw." It happened on Friday. And you already know everything you want to know about it. That's why we're not going to write anything about it or link to anything about it. If you want to know more about it, you know how to find more about it.

Wait, what happened?!

OK, enough of that. There were some fabulously exciting matching in the Premier League on Saturday and Sunday. Weird, wacky stuff, really. Manchester United lost again at home. Chelsea lost to Stoke. Chamakh scored again. Berbatov burst back into form. Crystal Palace won again. Southampton and Manchester City drew. Everton came back to draw at Arsenal.

Premier League Wrap
Weekend Wrap-up
10 Talking Points
5 Thoughts
Best of the Weekend
Garth Crooks's Team of the Week
Arsenal vs. Everton: 5 Talking Points

If all that excitement wasn't enough for you, do not fret, for there is Monday Night Football to enjoy this...err...afternoon. Swansea vs. Hull! Check in for the fun at 3pm EST on NBCSN.

The talk at Manchester United is off all the dead weight in the squad. Players not worthy of the shirt and all that. Here's a look at who should stay and who should go. Hint: Anderson should go.

Major League Soccer has finally completed its 2013 season. Sporting KC are the champs. In a rather ugly match, the KCs emerged victorious via a shoot-out. This link will give you access to all you need to know.

In Italy, Roma beat Fiorentina. More on Serie A tomorrow. In England, Kagawa ate too much and had to have his stomach pumped.

The FA Cup rarely offers much of note in the third round. Not so this time around, as Arsenal will host Tottenham in what should be a thriller on January 4.

Timmy shaved his beard. An has a lot of tattoos.

A special thanks goes out today to Roy Keane. The Irishman has provided us with a shocking revelation: Sir Alex Ferguson has a massive ego.

We're going to finish on a high note today. The Best Goals of the Weekend!! Woop!

Onward!!

-SSN

WORLD CUP DRAW plus other stuff

And...there goes another week. With the termination of this week of work comes the draw for World Cup 2014 in Brazil. Yes, it's finally here after 824 qualifiers 905 days. We all know the seeding system is a joke, but we have to deal with it. Deal with it.

Every outlet has some sort of live thingy for you to follow all the fun that begins at 11:30am EST. We prefer Barry Glendenning (done) and Scott Murray (in progress) so we'll link to their coverage here. Now then...

Once the hoopla in Costa do Sauipe settles there will be the minor matter of matches to address. This weekend, there are a few of note. For instance, the champion of the United States' top domestic league will be crowned. Sporting KC and Real Salt Lake will duke it out in KC. The match begins at 4pm EST and can be enjoyed on ESPN. Preview? Yes. You want team news? Fine.

Manchester United's midweek travails were well documented. They need to get back on the horse tomorrow against Newcastle United. That's the early Premier League match. It'll be interesting to see how the Old Trafford faithful welcome Moe. Elsewhere, Liverpool host West Ham, Spurs go to Sunderland, and Stoke host Chelsea. Sunday sees a nice one as Arsenal host Everton. Here's your gift basket for all the weekend pageantry:

Premier League Preview

Premier League Spotlight

10 Things To Look Out For

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro & The Guy From Simple Minds' Predictions

In Spain, they are all trying to get ahold of the King's Cup. And there is a general lack of interest in said activity around SSN Headquarters. Hence, we move on to Italy.

Italy! Roma vs. Fiorentina is the biggie of Round 15. Sadly, that doesn't take place until Sunday. However, if you need a quick Serie A fix, you can get it this afternoon as Juventus host Bologna in a rare Friday kick-off. Here's your comprehensive preview.

Sadly, that's really all there is today. Wait. There's this as well: Bosnia and Herzegovina unite behind their World Cup-bound football heroes.

That's it. Enjoy the draw.

Onward!!

-SSN

Midweek Fallout, Gattuso Says No Place For Women In Football, Platini Wants Sin-Bin, Suarez Masterclass

What now?

We said yesterday that the most attractive Wednesday EPL fixture on paper was Manchester United vs. Everton. Moe Syzlak facing his old club for the first time. And so it proved. When managing Everton, Moe David Moyes never won at Old Trafford. Never. That was over the course of 46 league games and 11 years. New manager Roberto Martínez did it the first time he tried. Ouch. While it was a great night for the traveling supporters, there is growing unrest at United. Here's your fallout:

Phil McNulty at Old Trafford

Daniel Taylor at Old Trafford

Everton Party Like It's 1992

Five Things to do to Get David Moyes' Reign Back On Track

Elsewhere, the top five clubs all won their fixtures. That's currently Arsenal (Bendtner scored!), Chelsea (Jozy scored!), Manchester City, Liverpool (Suarez scored four times, including a super-goal!)...and...see above...Everton. Here's your lot on that front:

Premier League Roundup

10 Talking Points

Team of the Week

Three Things: Sunderland vs. Chelsea

Top 5 Goals

Amy Lawrence at the Emirates Stadium

Andy Hunter at Anfield

Are you a woman? Do you like football? Sorry, there is no place for you, according to former Italian international Gennaro Gattuso. He says there is no place for women in football. So. OK.

This is interesting. Apparently Tottenham are combatting a fan group trying to improve the atmosphere at White Hart Lane.

There is no place for women in football.

Would you like your football to be more like hockey? Go to the penalty box for a spell if you've been naughty? Former France and Juventus legend and current UEFA nutcase Michel Platini thinks a sin-bin would be a good idea. Oh, dear.

Act like you know. This shit's all real.

Onward!!

-SSN

Bad Juventus Children, Palace Win, Midweek Previews, World Cup, Ronaldo Museum

You lost.

And...a pleasant Humpday to all of you! Isn't it extra pleasant when there is a bevy of footie to enjoy? We'll get to that in a minute. Let's begin in Italy...

So this is pretty hilarious. Juventus fans were banned from gathering behind the goal where the ultras usually do their thing. Presumably they were calling the folks from Naples dirty and poor and all that good stuff. Anywho, the powers that be at The Old Lady decided it would be a good idea to let kids sit behind the goal instead. Not a good idea.

OK, back to the matter at hand. We've got a full slate (not quite -- Palace won their first home match since Pubis took over last night) of Premier League matches to enjoy. Too bad your editor will be on a plane while they are taking place. Not to worry, though. The SSN staff is well trained and will provide regular updates. The most attractive fixture on paper is Manchester United vs. Everton. Moe Syzlak faces his old club for the first time since stepping behind the big bar that is Old Trafford. Elsewhere, Chelsea travel to Sunderland, City go to West Brom, Arsenal host Hull, Spurs head down to Fulham, and Swansea welcome Newcastle. Here's your lot:

Preview I

Preview II

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro's Predictions

Michael Cox: Lack of Moyes' identity to be tested vs. Everton

Right. So, the World Cup draw is coming up on Friday. Everything will be set and ready to go. Hah! Here's what you need to know, according to the BBC. Grant Wahl is already down there awaiting Friday's action (ESPN2, 11:30 a.m. EST). If you're going and you want to follow the U.S., get ready to log some miles.

He scores when he wants! Which is once every few months, apparently...

The Big Interview. It's huge. Massive. It's Phil Neville! How exciting. United is hosting Everton so it's topical. We'll give it a go.

Cristiano Ronaldo is opening a museum. The Cristiano Ronaldo Museum. Good.

SSN Regulars will know that we're not terribly taken by the international game. Sure, the World Cup can provide some fun but it's just become so commercialized and corrupt and absurd thanks to the fine folks at SPECTRE FIFA. Daniel Harris thinks this World Cup will be different. Better. Stronger. Faster. Sensational? We'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

The hottest new boy band. Just wait till you see their synched dance moves.

We out. Keep it tite. Get to a TV if you can.

Onward!!

-SSN

Podcast, Euro League Review, Midweek Action, Scribes, John Terry's Dad

Oi! Bloody Hell. We've got loads to work through on this most glorious Tuesday. We'll kick things off with a look at all the best of the best of the European leagues. That means The Premier League, La Liga, Serie A, the Bundesliga, and League Uhhhhhhhhhhh. And there's a bit in here about Newcastle's fine form.

Let's maintain that momentum with Gab's Monday Musings. Today, (yesterday?), Gab gabbed about Barca's bad week, Bale, Prem spending outrage, Rooney's form, and...more.

Back to Bale for a second. We said yesterday he had a perfect hat-trick. Sid Lowe was at the Bern-a-bay-you and we do like our Sid. Read.

There is a London Derby today! Oh. It's Crystal Palace vs. West Ham. Hmmm. So, that means it's Tony Pubis' first home match in charge of Palace? Well, here's a preview regardless.

Let's talk Major League Soccer for a moment. The season is almost complete. Here are some 2013 awards, surprises, Turkeys, and more.

More fun with the English National Team!

Oozing class: John Terry's dad Ted heads to court

PODCAST!! Check it: On today's Football Weekly, the right and very reverend AC Jimbo is joined by his favourite choirboys Barry Glendenning, Gregg Bakowski and James Horncastle to look back on the winners and sinners over the weekend in the Premier League. We start with the action in the UK's 2017 city of culture, where Hull ran rampant against a sub-par Liverpool before moving on to Aaron Ramsey's spectacular return to Cardiff with table-topping Arsenal, and giving a fair bit of love to Everton who tore Stoke to shreds. Like the most thorough of proctologists, we also get up to speed with goings on at the bottom, where Martin Jol was finally given the heave-ho by Fulham, before hearing from Sid Lowe about Gareth Bale's stunning showing for Real Madrid.

Scribe Time!

Location: Italy

Headline: Milan cheered by Adriano Galliani's U-turn

Scribe: Paolo Bandini

Location: Germany

Headline: On the road

Scribe: Uli Hesse

Location: Spain

Headline: Barcelona's first league defeat raises deeper issues of football and philosophy

Scribe: Sid Lowe

Location: Germany

Headline: Would the Bundesliga really be better off without Bayern and Dortmund?

Scribe: Raphael Honigstein

Location: Brazil

Headline: How sauna-like heat could decide the World Cup

Scribe: Tim Vickery

Whew! That was a bit taxing. In a good way, of course. Let's see. Why do we hate John Terry so? Let's count the reasons. Today we'll go with his father. He has denied taking part in a racist street attack in London. Yes, Ted Terry allegedly clashed with Amarjit Talafair near Fenchurch Street station back in March. He is also said to have shouted racist abuse including the words 'f***ing Paki' and 'black c***'. Sweet!

Onward!!

-SSN

Post Holiday Gobble Post: Barca Crisis?!, Bale Hat-Trick, AVB Angry, Jol Out

Right! We hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving and gave thanks and all that good stuff. Back to business. Firstly, as expected, poor Martin Jol got the sack yesterday. You know what that means.

"I don't mind 'City till we die'. They can die as soon as they want, as long as they leave the club for the majority who just want to watch good football."

Elsewhere in England, Hull City defeated Liverpool for the first time ever. Ever. Ever Ever? Ever Ever Ever? Yes. Chris Bascombe was there and filed this report. Stuart James was at Cardiff City Stadium to witness local boy Aaron Ramsey's masterclass. Alistair Magowan was at the Etihad Stadium to see Nasri notch two to lead City over Swansea. Richard Jolly was there, too. He has Three Thoughts about what went down. Meanwhile, more trouble at Spurs (they drew at home to United) where AVB is making things personal. Not really the best move, Dre. Here's the rest of your Premier League hoopla:

Weekend Review

Best of the Weekend

10 Talking Points

5 Thoughts

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Team of the Week

Over in Italy, Juve got a last-gasp winner from Llorente to go top after Roma could only draw with Sampdoria. Also, some guy named Kaka (Jesus owns him) scored for Milan as they won on the road. There's an interesting match this afternoon: Lazio vs. Napoli. Here's a weekend review.

The news in Spain centers on Barcelona and Real Madrid. No surprise there! The surprise lies in the face that league leaders Barcelona suffered their first league loss of the season against Athletic Bilbao at the new San Mamés. It's their second loss on the trot in all competitions. In terms of Real Madrid, Gareth Bale scored three as his side rolled over Real Valladolid. Not just three, mind you. It was the perfect hat-trick. Head, Left Foot, Right Foot. Here's a weekend review.

You will complete the stadiums as agreed...

Christ. More fun in Brazil as the locals strain to accommodate the demands of SPECTRE FIFA. A crane collapsed in Sao Paolo, killing at least two workers. Tim Vickery takes a look.

That gets us up to speed after a wonderful weekend of footie. We'll have loads tomorrow as it's another big Tuesday.

Onward!!

-SSN

Holiday Gobble

SSN Headquarters is closed for a few days so we can do family things like drink bourbon in front of the fire. We'll see you on Monday.  -Ed.

Shane Long = Dennis Bergkamp, Champions League, Scribes, Podcast, More MLS

Woop! Tuesday, Peeps. Loads to rock this week. Loads. 

Let's begin with the Podcast: James is joined by Sean Ingle, Raphael Honigstein and Gregg Bakowski to discuss an eventful weekend in the Premier League and around Europe. As Tottenham lose 6-0 to Manchester City, the pod wonder how they can pick themselves up and rescue their season. And just how good are this City side? In the high-scoring Merseyside derby, contentious refereeing decisions are given the once over, and the pod are purring over that Luis Suárez free-kick. Cardiff equalise late on against Manchester United but David Moyes is happy with a point. Is he showing a shocking lack of ambition? The pod think so. Plus there's the big Borussia Dortmund v Bayern Munich game in Germany, trouble from the Ultras in Milan and Sid Lowe has news of some high-scoring games in Spain.

Let's talk about last night. The Premier League offered up another nice one as West Brom and Villa battled to a 2-2 draw. Villa came back from two down. Well done, Villians. The match was graced with two super-sweet goals by Shane Long. One evoked memories of a certain Dennis Bergkamp from a certain match back in 1998. Glorious stuff, really. Stuart James was at The Hawthorns.

In Rome, Roma failed to return to the top of Serie A after their third draw on the trot. This one was scoreless. Here's a bit on that, plus more on the match in England and the one last night in Spain.

It's Tuesday so that means it's time for Gab's Monday Musings. When do they post this thing, Monday night at 11:59pm? Anywho, Gab's gabbing about Bayern's mole problem, Evra's outburst and why Martino's adjustments are working.

Let's be fair. Wes Brown should not have seen red this weekend. To call it harsh is stupid. It was wrong. That said, here are Ten of the Worst Red Card Decisions EVER!

Scribe Time!

Location: Italy

Headline: Chievo's genious back with derby win

Scribe: Paolo Bandini

Location: Germany

Headline: A brief history of the league that never was

Scribe: Uli Hesse

Location: Spain

Headline: Sevilla prove handful for Real Betis

Scribe: Sid Lowe

Location: Germany

Headline: Tired Dortmund need a new plan

Scribe: Raphael Honigstein

Location: Brazil

Headline: Flamengo revival a product of Menezes' exit

Scribe: Tim Vickery

Good Grief! Champions League, friends. The big one this afternoon is in Dortmund. The hosts have to get back on the horse after being knocked off by Bayern at the weekend. They face Napoli. Elsewhere in that group Arsenal host Marseille. Word on the street is the Marseille kids are ready for the match at the Emirates. The other main fixtures of the day include Celtic/AC Milan, Ajax/Barcelona, and Basel/Chelsea. Here's a preview. And here's where the groups stand at the moment:

Planning on enjoying Arsenal vs. Marseille this afternoon? Then you get to enjoy this, too.

Major League Soccer will pause for two weeks during the World Cup this summer. Wise move. The season is complete save for the final, so here are some awards: Top Rookie, Coach and Newcomer.

More? How about this: Best XIs from the Premier League, La Liga, Bundesliga, Serie A and Ligue 1, plus analysis of Manchester United's season. Not bad, eh?

More? Too bad.

Onward!!

-SSN