SSN Official Prediction: Argentina vs. Germany

Maradona takes a swing at Desmond Tutu, Oliver Kahn and Jens Lehmann land on the pitch via helicopter, jump out and start tazering Argentine players, Tevez whips out an M-16 A1 with a M-203 grenade launcher a la Tony Montana and fires indiscriminately around the stadium, Heinze and Schweinsteiger endlessly poke each other in the chest saying, "no, YOU started it," Lahm and Agüero try to prove that dwarfs can fight too, Jonás Gutiérrez and Demichelis try to enter the fray but get wrapped up in each others hair, Beckenbauer is roundly ignored while standing at the center circle yelling, "Stop! Stop I say! I am Der Kaiser!", David Hasselhoff staggers in shitfaced and demands to see a menu, and Joachim Löw and Lionel Messi sneak away for a tender moment together amidst the mayhem...