"He's PlayStation."
Arsene Wenger after Arsenal got themselves into another fine Messi at the Nou Camp.
"To call him PlayStation, as Mr Wenger did, is a great definition. I don't know what level he'd be at, though - three or even four."
Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola hails the virtual football played by his four-goal wonder kid.
"I am going to get drunk tonight."
Gianfranco Zola hits the bottle after his West Ham side showed plenty of it to snatch a point at Everton.
"I did nothing wrong. I didn't drop my trousers. If anything, I was being affectionate and tasteful!"
QPR boss Neil Warnock after showing his (clothed) backside to Leicester fans who mockingly asked him to give them a wave.
"If you've got any kind of wood, touch it now."
Swindon commentator while Town were 3-0 up against Leeds with minutes to go.
"Goal scored by Alison Desire or whatever his name is."
Dean Windass on Soccer Saturday after Alassane N'Daiye scored for Crystal Palace.
"King Kanu, Kanu,
He's older than me and you,
His real age is 62,
King Kanu, Kanu."
Sung at Fratton Park to the 'experienced' Nigerian.
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