Wednesday, March 24, 2010

SSN MLS Precap

MLS Season is here. There are about a million previews out there and SSN isn't about to try to get in depth with this. Here's a 30 second team-by-team pre-cap.


Toronto: They had a somewhat less radical makeover this offseason than in the last few. Former MVP Dewayne DeRosario leads the charge. A good bet to play for MLS Cup at home in the fall.

New England: They had a rough year with the injuries last year but still managed to finish third in the East. Coach Steve Nichol is still there and Shalrie Joseph is still pulling the strings in midfield. Should be solid.

DC United: Will the fans be too distracted by Philly fans throwing beer in their faces to watch the game? The rumor mill has another stadium deal falling through; could the winningest team in league history be moving? New coach Curt Onaflo has a thin roster to work with. Possibly disappointing.

Jersey Metrobull: New GM, new coach, new stadium, same talk about buying all of the best players in Europe. Theirry Henry is supposed to be coming after the World Cup; I'll believe it when I see it. The new stadium is by all accounts amazing, but it's not actually going to win them any games. Foreign management's track record in MLS is spotty at best, and we are talking about the Metrostars here- they will probably suck.

Philadelphia Union: New boys in the league but their fans have been traveling to DC and NJ for years to harass the locals. Head Coach Peter Nowak is dearly loved by SSN and his roster looks fairly good. However new arrivals generally struggle and the Union probably won't be hoisting MLS Cup this year.

Columbus Crue: champs two years ago, the Crue struggled with roster depth last year. Guillermo Barros Schelotto may still be the best player in the league. Expect them to contend.

Chicago Fire: New coach, new players, Blanco's gone (for now) and they canned 2008 keeper of the year Jon Busch with 5 days to go before the season opener. Hopefully the team will play to McBride's strengths and new boy/Euro washout Collins John is able to recover some of the magic of their pairing at Fulham a few years back. Expect to see a lot of counter-attack. As always, SSN picks the Fire to win it all.

KC Wizzarrds: Still playing in a 10k seating baseball park, no more Claudio Lopez. Want more? Tough titty.


LA Gals: The Bruce is back for year three. Lots of money tied up in injured Beckham and to-be-sold Lando, who deservedly will head back to England, probably to a bigger club who want the shirt sales. Looking at a tough year.

LA Goats: they fired Preki. They got some guys and got rid of some guys. Kljestan's year to prove he's the man. Guess what? He's not.

Red Star Houston Dynamo: They're getting older but they've still got the best coach in the league. New stadium is in the works. Strong contenders in the west.

Royal Salt Lake: the latest poster boys for everything wrong with MLS Cup. Losing record, got hot at the right time, got to the finals because their keeper is great at stopping penalties, won it all. Beckerman's hair still grosses me out. They should struggle with continental play suddenly on their docket.

Dallas Burn: It's teams like this that keep SSN from picking individual MLS game results. Obviously they won't lose them all, but could you imagine picking these clowns to win anything week in and week out? Yuck.

San Jose: another potential stadium deal. They'll be a lot better than in previous seasons. It's time for Bobby Convey to put up or shut up. Actually, he doesn't really talk much, does he?

Colorado Arsenal: guaranteed a big win at home on 7/4, per usual. That's all we can predict for sure. One of these years they'll put it together, maybe.

Seattle Sounders: opening season is over and now they're just another team, albeit one with a massive season ticket base, an underwear model making plays, a gameshow host as the owner and a plastic field. They didn't do much with the roster, which may be showing some signs of age. If Nate Jaqua can stay healthy they'll be in the hunt. That was a joke.


Big crowds in the East as the Sons of Ben hit the road and New Jersey finally finds out if the problem with the draw was Giant stadium or if it really was the shitty product they put on the field, nobody watches any games on TV during the World Cup and a sub-.500 team plays for the championship, again proving how utterly pointless the entire season really is. Fire to win it.


The Editor said...

Nice work, Boob. But do new teams really struggle? I just think of Seattle and Chicago doing quite well in their initials years. I can see Nowak taking Union to some glory.

Bobbie BS said...

Please refer to: San Jose MKII (two terrible seasons), Chivas USA (respectable after their horrible first season), Real Salt Lake (champs in their 5th season but never finished higher than third in their conference), Toronto (no playoffs in 3 seasons).