Ribéry Has Buttock Injury, Weekend Previews, Vidic To Leave United, World Cup Wide Seat For The Obese, The Gentleman Ultra Profiles Catania

Oh! And there goes another week. Good. We're ready for some football! Liverpool vs. Arsenal? Check. Lazio vs Roma? Check. Chelsea vs. Newcastle? Check. Sevilla vs. Barcelona? Check. Swansea vs. Cardiff? Check. Tottenham vs. Everton? Check. Napoli vs. AC Milan? Check. Dundee United vs. St. Mirren? Not so much.

The BPL. The Barclays Premier League. The British Premier League? Here's your lot:

Premier League Preview

10 things to look out for this weekend

John Cross: Liverpool clash can set the tone for Arsenal's season

Andy Hunter: Liverpool confident their miserable Anfield run against Arsenal will end

Jeff Stelling: Swansea v Cardiff could be the last Welsh derby in top flight for awhile

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro's Predictions

Here's your Headline of the Day: U.S. captain Dempsey keen to regain top form. Ahem. Yes, well, we should hope so. Maybe going to Seattle wasn't such a hot move, Deuce.

Discounted seat for the obese...

Spain! Atlético Madrid took over the top spot last week. Can they defend their lead? Here's your complete La Liga Weekend Preview.

We did mention the Rome Derby above, did we not? Yes, we did. Good. Here's your complete Serie A Weekend Preview. Sticking with Italy, The Gentleman Ultra has graced us with a profile of Catania's ground, fans and classic player Giuseppe Mascara. Grazie Mille!

Are you a large person? Do you plan on attending the World Cup? You're in luck.

We knew is was coming but it's bad timing for Manchester United. Nemanja Vidic has confirmed he'll leave the club at the end of the season. Sure, his best years are behind him but it's not really the morale boost United need right now.

Once again this year, the race for the final Champions League spot looks to go down to the wire. Liverpool, Everton, Tottenham and Manchester United are the sides in question. Let's examine their chances, shall we?

Adam Johnson's career has suddenly restarted. He's notched seven in seven and might snare a spot on the plane to Brazil. Louise Taylor takes a closer look at his up and down history.

Oh, Andrea Pirlo. What's not to love? He is the coolest man in football.

No Joy of Six today for some reason but we do have a Top Tenner. It's Returning Heroes. Think Mark Hughes.

David Hytner interviews Per Mertesacker. Right...Here.

And finally...Ouch! Frank Ribéry burst a blood vessel in his buttock. Ouch! Ouch!

Onward!!

-SSN

Real Win First Leg and Marcelo Racially Abused by Atlético Fans, Barcelona Cruise, Honigstein on Dortmund, Golden Balls Loves Miami

Good Morning, friends. It would seem that we've got another Clásico to look forward to after Real Madrid and Barcelona won their respective first-leg Copa del Rey clashes yesterday. Graham Hunter was at the Bernabeu and filed this report on the fiery Derby. Sadly, Marcelo was subjected to racial abuse by the Atlético fans after the match ended. 

They then chanted: "Marcelo is a monkey." When Marcelo's young son came out and hugged his father soon after, the chant changed to: "May your father die."

On a far lighter note, Golden Balls is going to get his MLS team, most likely in Miami, his newest love. He thinks he'll be able to get some quality talent to come to the Sunshine State. This will be interesting.

Ronny gets rough...

Do you care to know Why the Premier League Is the Most Powerful League in the World? 

Borussia Dortmund have had a tough run this season in the Bundesliga. Injuries have hit the club particularly hard this campaign. German expert Raphael Honigstein takes a closer look.

Henry Winter wants to talk Jack Wilshire. Is the British Bulldog set to become England's next captain? Winter thinks so.

We think that'll do for today.

Onward!!

-SSN

Madrid Derby, Swansea Sack Laudrup, Jonathan Wilson on Carlos Tevez, Paul Wilson on Luis Suárez, Jeff Carlisle on Juan Agudelo, Poor Fulham

And a pleasant Hump Day to you and yours. Sadly, not so pleasant for Michael Laudrup. No, the former KB, Brondby, Lazio, Juventus, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Vissel Kobe, and Ajax star was sacked by Swansea. And so...as is tradition at SSN...he gets this. And a £4.5million pay-off. So, it's not all bad.

Right. What else is up today? We don't usually have time for cup competitions in Europe, but Spain gives us a couple of juicy fixtures today. There is a Madrid Derby in one semi-final first leg of the Copa del Rey and you're looking at Barcelona vs. Real Sociedad in the other. Not bad. Real Madrid vs Atlético Madrid is at 2pm EST and Barcelona vs. Real Sociedad is at 4pm EST. Both are on beIN Sport USA.

Pretty great: Jurgen Klopp photobombs a fan's selfie with Marco Reus

Here's your Headline of the Day: Child sex warnings to air on World Cup flights from England

Juan Agudelo. Remember that guy? He wants to go to Brazil with the U.S. this summer. He's currently plying his trade in Holland. Jeff Carlisle checks in with the 21-year-old striker.

Per usual, a couple of good articles in The Guardian today. Paul Wilson thinks Luis Suárez skill and industry can push Liverpool higher than fourth place. Jonathan Wilson writes that Carlos Tevez should be at his peak, but is destined for World Cup despair.

And, finally. Poor Fulham. Poor, poor Fulham.

Onward!!

-SSN

Mourinho Masterclass = Chelsea Victory At Manchester City, Scribes, Euro Clubs Coming This Summer, #AskCarrick

Did your parents help you with that project?

And a fine Tuesday to you! Yesterday's mega match lived up to the hype. Instead of parking the proverbial bus, The Special One decided to have a go. And quite the "go" it was. Although they only left the Etihad with a 1 - 0 victory, Chelsea could have notched many more. City's defense was atrocious. And the fact that a club can spend £2,289,089,790,445,220 on talent and still have to play Demichelis out of position is quite simply absurd. The guy's not the youngest, most mobile, or best passing defender to begin with. Put him in the midfield and you're screwed. Anyway, everyone is talking about it, as you might expect. Rock the lowdown:

Daniel Taylor at the Etihad Stadium

Phil McNulty: Chelsea boss outwits his Man City rival

Jonathan Wilson: Mourinho and Chelsea's remarkable tactical transformation

John Brewin: Measured Mourinho stays calm in victory

Michael Cox: Mourinho surprises all with tactics at Manchester City

Three Things

Player Ratings

The transfer window might be closed but that doesn't mean your club can't add a player or two. Fancy a David Bentley? Jermaine Pennant? Didn't think so. Damn. Karma's a bitch, lads, innit?

It is Tuesday and this week that means it's time for Monday Musings from Gab. Today, Gab gabs this: Real's big club struggles, Utd stumble again, Barca problems, more. Gab on Gab.

The Guinness International Champions Cup will return to the U.S. of A. this summer. That's nice. Primarily because Guinness is good for you. If you're into this sort of thing and care to see Real Madrid, Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool, AC Milan, Inter Milan, Roma and/or Olympiakos, well, you're in luck.

Comfortably residing in the, "REALLY!?!" category is Manchester United's #AskCarrick Twitter campaign. Who's the marketing genius who came up with this gem? You simply cannot make this stuff up.

Want to see the world? Screw the Navy. Check out The Scribes, yo! 

Paolo Bandini (Italy): Juventus expose Inter's frailties; Napoli's freakishly bad day; an embarrassing dad turns cool

Tim Vickery (Brazil/Argentina): Ever Banega is Europe's loss, Argentina's gain

Sid Lowe (Spain): Atlético Madrid's rise to the top the perfect tribute to Luis Aragonés

Sam Kelly (Argentina): The other side of a quiet transfer market

Raphael Honigstein (Germany): Perfect Bayern challenge Bundesliga to raise game, not the white flag

We'll conclude today with Peter Berlin. He looks back at the complete weekend in the Premier League, including yesterday's game.

Onward!!

-SSN

Barcelona Lost At Home, Stoke Beat Manchester United, Juventus Beat Inter, Ronaldo Sees Red In Real Draw, Touré In Schoolboy Gaff, Monday Night Football, U.S. Beat South Korea

Huh? Wah?

Happy Monday! There was some hot footie action over the weekend. Before we get to all of that, though, let's look at tonight's Monday Night Football Super Mega Clash featuring Manchester City and Chelsea. It's on NBCSN at 3pm EST. As expected, The Special One has initiated the mind games. Here's your lot:

Manchester City vs. Chelsea: Preview

Manchester City vs. Chelsea: Preview II

Squad Sheets

The Magnificent Seven

Paul Merson's Prediction

OK, enough of what might happen. What did happen? Kolo Touré had a howler that allowed West Brom to draw with Liverpool. Arsenal suddenly had an Ox in the Box as they beat Palace 2 - 0. Manchester United lost to two goals from Charlie Adam. Yes, you read that correctly. Charlie Adam. Tottenham could only manage a draw at Mrs. Doubtfire's Hull City. Southampton rolled over a feeble Fulham side that look to be going down. Here's your lot:

Dissecting the Weekend

10 Talking Points

Quick Six

Best of the Weekend

Stoke City 2 - 1 Manchester United: Jamie Jackson at the Britannia Stadium

Richard Jolly on West Brom vs. Liverpool: Three Things

Arsenal 2 - 0 Crystal Palace: Dominic Fifield at the Emirates Stadium

Hull City 1 - 1 Tottenham: Richard Gibson at the KC Stadium

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Well, look at this! The PM has gotten involved in football in England. He wants his people to be able to watch the World Cup at their local. David Cameron tweeted: "I have ordered a rethink on pub opening times for England's World Cup games - will consult with pub trade, police and councils." Why anyone would want to watch England is a question for another day.

Here's question for today: Why did Arsene Wenger sign an injured player? David Hytner finds the whole thing rather bizarre.

In Spain,  Atlético Madrid are all by their lonesome at the top of the table after Barcelona lost at Camp Nou (gasp!) to Valencia and Real Madrid were held at Bilbao 1 - 1 as Ronaldo received a straight red card. Here's a weekend review and a table.

Who are you?

Over in Italy, the Derby d'Italia was a bit of a bust as Juventus had little trouble with a faltering Inter Milan side. Juve are now nine points clear at the top after Roma and Parma had to bail (oh!) on their match due to rain. Here's a weekend review and a table.

And in Germany, Bayern Munich continue to flatten and destroy all in their wake. They crushed Frankfurt 5 - 0 and now sit 13 points ahead of their closest rivals. They've gone 44 matches in the league without a defeat. Be afraid. Be very afraid...

The United States had a little friendly out in L.A. at the StubHub over the weekend. Wando scored two and they defeated South Korea. Here are Three Thoughts. And here's a report.

The transfer window is uhhhhhhhh...closed. Thank The Lord Jesus H. Allah Maradona. Phil McNulty has his Winners and Losers.

And finally, just who is Manuel Pellegrini? Jamie Jackson enlightens us.

Act like you know.

Onward!!

-SSN

Deadline Day, Weekend Previews, Ronay on Del Piero, The Joy of Six, More Sexism From Gray & Keys

Zaha to Cardiff! Berbatov to Monaco! Holtby to Fulham! Taarabt to Milan?!

And so goes another week. It was a good one, with plenty of excellent mid-week action to sustain us until the weekend. And it's a good thing, because the European Match of the Weekend is actually on Monday. That would be Manchester City vs. Chelsea. But, more on that...next week.

Right. So, the transfer window finally slams shut today and we can move on from this silly, silly season. As such, today we're offering a slew of options to get your fix. Pick your poison: The Mill. Plus One. Deadline Day Deals. Deadline Day Live. Deadline Day Live II. Deadline Day Live III.

Ouch.

So other than that match on Monday, there aren't really any other massive fixtures this weekend. Real Madrid's trip to Bilbao, the Derby d'Italia (Juventus vs. Inter Milan), and the Tyneside Derby between Newcastle and Sunderland are the only other matches that stick out on paper. Let's get down to business, beginning with the Premier League:

Premier League Preview

10 Things To Look Out For

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro's Predictions

And now to Serie A. And now to La Liga. Bundesliga? Sure. Why not?

Alessandro Del Piero. Il Pinturicchio. He's still playing down under for Sydney FC. Barney Ronay had the opportunity to see him play and decided to write about it. And that makes us very, very happy.

It is Friday and that means The Joy of Six. Today's edition is Transfer-Deadline Buys (and other late-season follies). Enjoy The Joy.

Whoa! Check this out: 10 U.S. stars to watch for in 2018 by U.S. Men's National Team expert Jeff Carlisle. Thanks, Jeff! Sticking with the U.S., did you know this summer Landon Donovan will participate in his fourth World Cup? Wow. That drinking fountain photo is old.

Good Grief. These guys, again? Assholes. BT Sport, the ball is in your court. Fire Andy Gray and make him go away. For good.

OK. That'll have to do. Have yourselves a fine weekend.

Onward!!

-SSN

City Crush Spurs To Go Top, West Ham Draw With 19th Century Football, Bayern Munich Win, Ribery & Benzema Sex Charges Dropped

Hello! Manchester City now sit at the top of the BPL Table after annihilating Tottenham at White Hart Lane last night. David Hytner reports on the Blues' 5 - 1 victory. Phil McNulty wonders if and how they can be stopped. Amy Lawrence agrees that City's confidence is sky high. Jan Molby thinks they can win the quadruple. Yikes!

Insert your favorite caption here.

Meanwhile, down at Stamford Bridge, West Ham headed back to East London with a point after keeping Chelsea from finding the net. As expected, The Special One was none too pleased. His opposite number, Big Sam, loved it: "He can't take it, can he?" he said. "He can't take it because we've out-tactic-ed him, out-witted him. He just can't cope. He can tell me all he wants. I don't give a shite, to be honest. I love to see Chelsea players moaning at the referee, trying to intimidate the officials, and José jumping up and down in his technical area. It's great to see."

Elsewhere, Villa won a thriller over West Brom at Villa Park, and Sunderland edged Stoke. Here, then, is your current table.

Brad is glad...

There was one match in the Bundesliga yesterday. It involved Bayern Munich. They went down 1-0 to Stuttgart but came back to win 2-1. They've yet to lose this season. Check out the sick winning goal from Thiago Alcantara that clinched it at the death.

You may remember that Franck Ribery and Karim Benzema were charged with having sex with an underage prostitute. Those charges have been dropped.

It's almost closed! It's almost closed! Get 'er done, people! The Mill. Plus One.

West Ham prepare to face Chelsea...

It's the age old question that simply won't go away: Why aren't American players taken seriously in Europe? Roger Bennett attempts to find the answer.

Oh, dear. Chelsea Fans Claim To Know About Players That Don't Exist. Enjoy.

Let's terminate today's post with a European Leagues Review: Best XIs from the Premier League, La Liga, Bundesliga, Serie A and Ligue 1, plus analysis of Everton's defeat to Liverpool.

Onward!!

-SSN

The Zlatan Sells Volvos, Liverpool Crush Everton, Southampton & Arsenal Draw, United Beat Cardiff, Today is Tottenham vs. Man City, Meet Serie A's Golden Boy

No comment.

And a very pleasant Hump Day to you. 

The Merseyside Derby certainly did not turn out as expected. Everton went to Anfield really thinking they could get something. They got nothing. The Reds trumped The Blues 4-0. Sturridge should have had a hat-trick but put his penalty into the second tier. Andy Hunter was at Anfield. Elsewhere, RVP returned with a goal, Juan Mata wore red instead of blue, and United staggered to a 2-0 home win against Cardiff. Down on the South Coast, Flamini saw red as a fluid and attractive Southampton side drew 2-2 with a languid and lethargic Arsenal team.

Here's your lot:

Tuesday Roundup

Three Things: Liverpool vs. Everton

Three Things: Southampton vs. Arsenal

Phil McNulty: Lethal Liverpool Looking the Real Deal

Are you man enough? Are you? Man enough to match The Zlatan and buy a Volvo?

The U.S. Men's National Team is currently training in SoCal. Stuart Holden is there! Check these notes.

We've got a few matches today. Four, in fact. Villa vs. West Brom, Chelsea vs. West Ham, Sunderland vs. Stoke, and Tottenham vs. Manchester City. Yes, City travel to White Hart Lane to face Spurs and a rejuvenated Adebayor, the player they still pay £40,000 per week. Ouch. Here's some Team News for youz.

Oh, great. Looks like we'll be seeing this asshole at the World Cup. What are Mexico thinking?

Only a few more days to get that big transfer done, guys. Here's The Mill and your Plus One.

Guillem Balague is Sky's Spanish Expert. He's talking about how Neymar's contract ended Sandro Rosell's reign and how Barcelona are in for big summer spend.

And finally today, would you care to meet Domenico Berardi, Serie A's Golden Boy? How convenient.

Onward!!

-SSN

Midweek Action, Scribes, Mata, Liverpool Derby, U.S. Hotlist, World Cup Protests, Reyna on NYCFC

Oh, boy. Goodness us. We had a solid scouting trip on the west coast and have returned with some potential young talent for SSN Headquarters. All in all, very successful. And, to top it off, we get some delicious midweek Premier League fare to enjoy today and tomorrow.

Exciting.

Right. So Juan Mata is now employed by Manchester United. Can he be their new Cantona? Not in terms of flying kung-fu kicks, but rather inspired play on the pitch. Only time will tell.

The United States Men's National Team will be competing in Brazil this summer. Who is Hot? Who is Not? Check it.

Well, guess what woke finally woke up from a Black Forest winter slumber? The Bundesliga. Raphael Honigstein is on the scene where Klaas-Jan Hunterlaar returned with a bang. Here's the rest of your Tuesday scribe action:

Where? South America. Who? Tim Vickery. What? Falcao injury puts Colombia on alert.

Where? Spain. Who? Sid Lowe. What? How Neymar's arrival turned from triumph to disaster for Sandro Rosell.

Where? Italy. Who? Paolo Bandini. What? Even Miroslav Klose's pessimism cannot halt Lazio's Serie A revival.

Where? Germany. Who? Uli Hesse. What? Bayern Munich can try to finish the Bundesliga season unbeaten, but history is against them.

Not exciting.

Back to the Premier League. Today's biggie is the Merseyside Derby. It's the biggest Liverpool/Everton clash in quite some time since both clubs are part of the pack at the top of the table. Elsewhere, Arsenal go south to Southampton, Manchester United host Cardiff and 'Ye Ole Gunner, Norwich welcome Newcastle, Swansea host Fulham, and Hull go to Palace. Here's all your preparatory information:

Midweek Preview

Picks & Predictions

Liverpool vs. Everton: Preview

Michael Cox: Barry vs. Gerrard

Lawro's Predictions

Paul Merson's Predictions

More protests in Brazil over the weekend. It's such a shit show. As you know, Tim Vickery is there and he filed this report.

The Transfer Window is still open. Essien went to Milan and Cabaye went to PSG, by the way. Here's The Mill and your Plus One.

Former Yank Abroad Claudio Reyna is running the show for New York City FC. They kick off their life next year. Richard Jolly has a word with the former Rangers & Man City star.

Whew! It's good to be back.

Onward!!

-SSN

Mata Mata, League Cup, Mancini Built This City

A pleasant Humpday to you. A brief one this morning as SSN Headquarters prepares for a bit of a winter break. Posts will be a wee infrequent over the next several days as most of the staff head to the west coast for some talent scouting. 

The big news today is still Juan Mata. If (and that's a big if) the Spanish spark-plug wants out of Stamford Bridge, United will buy him for £40 million. 

Yesterday, things got worse for West Ham. Andy Carroll has obviously been attending the Nicolas Bendtner hair academy. Sadly for Hammer fans, the samurai look failed to result in any goals while City eased to a 3-0 win. That's 9-0 on aggregate if you're following at home. Ouch.

Speaking about City, Mancini says he built this City. On what, you ask? Yep. Rock and Roll.

Today's other semi should be a bit more competitive. It's Manchester United vs. Sunderland. Will it be a Manchester Derby for the What's In Your Wallet? Trophy? Tune to beIN Sport at 2:45pm EST and find out.

The Mill. Plus One. We're Done.

Told you it'd be brief.

Onward!!

-SSN

Messi & Sergio, Hawthorns Draw, Would Mata Matter?, Anelka Charged, USA Hotlist, 2014 World Cup Babes Calendar

Oops...

Welcome, friends. The news today begins with Juan Mata's speculative move to United. Would it even mattah? It probably won't happen anyway, but it's fun to think about.

In actual soccer-playing news, West Brom came back to nab a draw with Everton in Monday Night Football action. Here's the current Premier League table. It's tight at the top...and tight at the bottom. Southampton have created a little space for themselves in ninth but other than that it's quite crowded.

No more Zoopla for you!

Speaking of West Brom, Le Sulk now faces a minimum five-match ban if he's found guilty by the FA of making the controversial "quenelle" gesture. It's described as an inverted Nazi salute. He did it after scoring against West Ham last month. He says it's in support of his friend. Whatever, brah.

The Mill. Plus One.

World Football. Europe. South America. The Scribes:

Location: Spain

Headline: Garrido pushed off Betis sinking ship

Scribe: Sid Lowe

Location: Italy

Headline: Laughter is Milan's best medicine

Scribe: Paolo Bandini

Location: Germany

Headline: Hamburg to ditch tradition in search for success

Scribe: Uli Hesse

Location: Brazil

Headline: Messi and Aguero can shine in Brazil

Scribe: Tim Vickery

Hot List! Who's Hot & Who's Not in the world of USA men.

Don't mess with the Interisti...

There is also the small matter of the Capital One Cup Semi-Final Second-Leg to discuss. Oh. Right. Well, it'll be entertaining to watch Big Sam chomp furiously on his gum while praying the home fans don't lay into him too much. Here's a preview.

Do The Heads Want More? Hell Yeah! European Leagues Review: Players, Teams and Swansea City's slump.

And finally...yes...it's what you've all been waiting for: The Official 2014 World Cup Babes Calendar!

Onward!!

-SSN

Chelsea Win, Barcelona & Atlético Draw, Monday Night Foortball, Half-Yank Julian Green, Franck Ribéry Is Pissed

And a happy Monday to you. And a happy MLK Day to you. Yesterday, Chelsea won comfortably over Manchester United. United had their moments, but didn't have what it takes to get a result. They're still a mess on the defensive side. Dominic Fifield was at Stamford Bridge. He says the United players looked haunted. Scary stuff. Phil McNulty says that reality bites for Moyes and his boys. Paul Hayward says it's the end of an era. Michael Cox talks tactics. And David Hytner learned five things at the match and has graciously offered to share them with us. Cheers.

Elsewhere in the Premier League, Liverpool drew against a suddenly fluid Aston Villa, Manchester City, Arsenal, Palace, and Tottenham claimed victories, and Newcastle won at West Ham. Here's your lot:

10 Talking Points

5 Thoughts

Team of the Weekend

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Richard Jolly: Defensive woes continue to hinder Liverpool

Over in Italy, Super Mario helped Clarence Seedorf get off to a winning start in Milan. Neighbors Inter lost, and Juventus maintained their top-dog status with another win. Here's a review.

Down in Spain, Real Madrid were the big winners as Barcelona and Atlético Madrid could only manage draws in their respective fixtures. Real are on a roll, baby. Watch out.

Diego finds it tough at the top...

Oh, the insufferable transfer window. Why do you toy with our emotions so? The Mill. Plus One.

Monday Night Football! It's an interesting one today as Pepe Mel takes over at West Brom. The Baggies host Everton. West Brom need points to stay clear of the drop zone while Everton have the opportunity to leapfrog Spurs and Liverpool and get back into fourth. 3pm EST on NBCSN.

Monday Musings! Gab is musing about Man Utd's mistakes, Real momentum and Liverpool's progress. Muse right along with him, why don't ya?

Ever heard of Julian Green? No. Nor us. Turns out he was born in Florida and plays for Bayern Munich. Rafael Honigstein has more on the young buck.

Franck Ribéry is not happy about not winning the Golden Ball award thingy. "I won everything, with the team and individually. Ronaldo won nothing," Ribery apparently said in an interview with Munich's TZ newspaper. Interesting take on things.

Till Tomorrow.

Onward!!

-SSN

Chelsea vs Manchester United, Neymar Hurt, The Joy of Six

And there goes the week that was. Friday is upon us once again, fair SSN friends, and that means footie on the horizon. Most eyes are on Chelsea's clash with Manchester United on Sunday. That should be juicy. Your Editor will have an eye on the Emirates where his sister and her family will enjoy Arsenal vs. Fulham in North London tomorrow. Here's everything necessary to get you prepared for the weekend's Premier League menu:

Premier League Preview

10 Things To Look Out For

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro's Predictions

Top Ten: Manchester United-Chelsea Battles

Chelsea vs Manchester United: Key Battles

West Bromwich Albion have a new manager. His name is Pepe Mel. He's Spanish. We like him already. Sid Lowe knows.

Barcelona's season has been Johnny Marred a bit by an injury to Neymar. He'll be out for at least a month. That first photo is brutal!

Friday The Mill. Friday Plus One.

It's been too bloody long since we've had a good Joy of Six. Let's fix that. Today is Football Fiascos. Sounds so good we need to take a peek. Ahh...yes...Sheffield Wednesday 3 - 2 Manchester United from October, 1991. That was a fiasco.

Spain! La Liga! It's still a three-team race at the top. Let's take a gander, shall we?
Italy! Serie A! Juventus have pretty much sown things up. Let's take a gander, shall we?
Germany! Das Bundesliga! Nope. Still on break.

Barney Ronay is a fine scribe. Today, he's got a column about Arsene Wenger.

We'll finish the week on a high note: Getafe defender taken off against Barca with broken veins in a testicle! 

Onward!!

-SSN

Manchester City Stronger, Manchester United Weaker, Southampton Falling Apart, Liverpool Has An Official Donut, Seedorf in at Milan, U.S. Hotlist

Apologies for the quiet. We had some issues here at SSN Headquarters that have been resolved. With violence.

Anyway, what's going on? Manchester City had little trouble with Blackburn in their FA Cup replay as Sergio Agüero returned to action with aplomb. Paul Wilson takes a look at the power in the City side as they attempt to win The Quadruple.

Watch out, because he's back, and he's scoring...

Meanwhile, across town at Old Trafford, more woe as Wayne Rooney looks to be out for a while longer with his groin issue. It turns out his "hot weather" holiday was in Egypt. We figured it was Dubai. Wrong again.

Southampton is going crazy all of a sudden. Their chairman has quit, their manager might leave, and suddenly this impressive, young, attacking squad could be completely unraveled. Dominic Fifield investigates.

Watch out! We're bouncing straight to The Mill and your Plus One.

Nemanja Matic is back at Chelsea. Because Chelsea can do things like that.

Remember Maurice Edu? We'd forgotten he was employed by Stoke City. Philadelphia want to give him some freedom (oh!) and bring him back Stateside. MLS isn't totally on board. Sticking Stateside, let's check out the U.S. Hotlist. Gooch has left QPR for (hopefully) pastures greener at Sheffield Wednesday.

Clarence Seedorf is the new manager of Milan. He's only 37! What did he accomplish in his 22 years of playing soccer? Only this: 400 appearances for Milan. Two Serie A and two Champions League titles. He was the first player to win the Champions League with three different clubs: Ajax in 1995, Real Madrid in 1998, and Milan, in 2003 and 2007. Now that's what we call a CV. Gabriel Marcotti has more.

Anderson. So much potential. Anderson. Such bad hair. Anderson. Out the door.

Ian Rush looks especially pleased...

And...Liverpool have announced a partnership with Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin' Donuts: The Official Donut of Liverpool Football Club. You can't make this shit up.

Onward!!

-SSN

Just One Photograph

Honors Even In Madrid, Newcastle Controversy, Pellegrini Is A $@%#%* According To Alan Pardew, Milan Sack Allegri, Monday Night Football

Whew! And a very happy Monday to you and yours. Let's begin at St. James' Park where one of the best strikes you'll ever see was deemed not legit. Incorrectly. Louise Taylor usually reports from Newcastle and today is no different. She was there to watch a very eventful match that was eventually won by Manchester City. Not before Samir Nasri left on a stretcher (he's out for eight weeks) after being hacked by Yanga-Mbiwa. He only saw yellow. Not the best day out for Mike Jones and his crew. Nor Alan Pardew. Kristan Heneage has Three Things to say about all of it.

To be fair, Pardew did apologize for calling Pellegini "a fucking old cunt." Did he have a choice?

Meanwhile, in Stoke, Liverpool prevailed thanks to a handball, followed by a dive, followed by a penalty. It was an engrossing match that ended 3-5. Not surprisingly, Luis Suárez played really well. Richard Jolly was at the Brittania.

Here's all you need to know from the weekend in the Premier League where Manchester United, Tottenham, Chelsea, West Ham, Everton, Sunderland, and Southampton emerged victorious. There were no draws.

Quick Six

10 Talking Points

Five Thoughts

Team of the Weekend

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

What We Learned

Unlike the matches in England and Wales, The European Match of the Weekend ended scoreless. Barcelona and Atlético Madrid provided some exciting fare, but nobody could find the net. Jonathan Wilson reports on a match played with ferocious intensity. As does Graham Hunter. Here's even more on that match plus a look at the other weekend action in Spain.

Well, AC Milan lost to Sussudio (some dude named Berardi scored four). They now sit 11th in Serie A, 30 points behind Juventus. That is simply unacceptable. So, they fired Allegri. Rumor has it The Diving Italian Inzaghi might get the call to take over.

Monday Night Football! Today we've got Aston Villa vs. Arsenal. The battle of the "A" teams. Teams that begin with the letter "A". Right. Check it out at 3pm EST on NBCSN. We're closing SSN Headquarters early in order to do just that.

OMG!! We almost forgot The Mill and your Plus One! Never!

That Ballon d'Or crap is today. We don't care.

Onward!!

-SSN

Defoe to Toronto, Rooney to "Hot Weather", Atlético Madrid vs. Barcelona, Lawro vs. De Niro & Stallone

Is it Friday already? These weeks just have a way of evaporating before our very eyes. 

Sampdoria fans receive plenty of protection during their side's Cup match at Roma.

We'll begin in England (and Wales), where the FA Cup makes way for the Premier League and Wayne Rooney will not be playing for Manchester United. He's been sent away to hang out in some hot weather. Ok, then. Sticking with the Crisis Club of the Month, just why has Old Trafford lost its fear factor? Elsewhere? Here, just look at all of this:

Premier League Preview

Premier League Spotlight

10 Things To Look Out For

Lawro, De Niro & Stallone's Predictions

Paul Merson's Predictions

Simon Bird's Predictions

As fans, we don't really care about the reasons Michael Bradley has for jumping to Canada, but here are Three that make sense. They just don't make us very happy.

At least three times every season various SSN staff are asked about Frank Ribery. Why does his face look like that? This is why. Read it and remember it and store it away for later.

El Estádio de Atlético Madrid. En Madrid. Bueno. 

No, it's not El Clásico but it's still a big one. Tomorrow at 2pm EST on beIN Sport USA you can watch the top two teams in La Liga (sorry, Real Madrid -- you're not even the best in your town!) battle it out at the Vicente Calderón. Atlético Madrid vs. Barcelona. Tied at the top of the table. So good it's the European Match of the Weekend. Tactical battles? Look at some slides. Guillem Balague? He's in on this, too.

Don't ask. Do not ask. DO NOT ASK! Are Barcelona better without Messi? We told you not to ask.

The transfer window remains ajar until the end of the month. Hence, The Mill. And, your Plus One.

In Italy, we've reached Round 19 of the Serie A campaign. This is what said round will offer.

Enjoy the weekend.

Onward!

-SSN

Dallas Tornado, West Ham Thrashed (Again), More On Hitzlsperger, Statistical Review, Michael Bradley to Toronto?, ESPN Name Darke to do World Cup

Oh, dear. Dear, dear, dear. Poor West Ham. In their last two matches they scored zero and their opposition scored 11. Yesterday it was Manchester City doing the damage and all but ending any doubt that they'll be playing for the Capital One Cup at Wembley next month. To be fair, Big Sam had to work with a patched-up side, but come on! Geez. Phil McNulty says there is no defense for Allardyce at this point. Here are Five Talking Points.

Yup. That's Chris Smalling. Yup. That's the costume he
decided to wear to a party.

Here's another Oh, Dear. It would appear that Yank Abroad in Rome Michael Bradley is poised to become Yank Abroad in Toronto Michael Bradley. What bummer. Sure, you're fighting for a spot at Roma and the money would be great in MLS, but come on, lad! You've proved you can succeed in Serie A. Stick with it! Anyway, Grant Wahl's on the case.

Would you care for a dose of cheeky masseurs, wacky names and grade-a flirting? We assumed as much. It's all here in A Year in Brazilian Football.

Infographics! Statistical Review! How have the 20 Premier League teams fared so far? And in the tightest title race in a long time (just two points separate the top three of Arsenal, Manchester City and Chelsea), Sky examine the title chances of the top seven clubs.

Martin Tyler will not be on your TV in the U.S. this summer. Sniff. Instead, it'll be Ian Darke. We're fine with that. It could be worse.

We like to learn. SSN Staffers are reknown for their learning ability. Today, we learned something about the Dallas Tornado, thanks to The Guardian. If you didn't already, now you know: The forgotten story of...Dallas Tornado's 1967-68 world tour...Dallas' journey saw them cheat death at the hands of Greek-Cypriot terrorists, visit Vietnam amid war and survive an on-pitch riot in Singapore. The football must have felt like a sideshow.

Messi returned from injury. Messi scored twice. Next.

Emmanuel Adebayor. An exercise in frustration. An outcast. A warrior. A sulker. A scorer. An instigator. Rory Smith takes a closer look at the man from Togo.

Raphael Honigstein heard the news about Tomas Hitzlsperger and had to talk to the man himself. He succeeded in his attempt. Here's the interview.

Where ya at, The Mill? Plus One? Done.

Onward!!

-SSN

To Summer Or Not To Summer, United Lose To Sunderland, Hitzlsperger Comes Out, Lazio, Laurent Dubois On Afro-Europe In The World Cup

Happy Humpday! 

We'll begin with SPECTRE FIFA. One of their guys said Qatar 2022 will not be played in the summer. Then some of their other guys said nothing had been decided. Clowns.

Speaking of clowns, apparently that's what Manchester United think of referees these days. It was another loss for the Red Devils at Sunderland last night. The loss marks the first time United have lost three matches inside a week since 1992. Jamie Jackson took in the show at the Stadium of Light, and Louise Taylor thinks David Moyes is being haunted by Sir Alex Ferguson. Spooky.

Beginning to make Moe Szyslak look handsome...

Ian Darke wants to grade each of the Premier League teams on how they have fared thus far. For example: Cardiff City -- Owner Vincent Tan has made the club a laughing stock and spoiled what should be a wonderful adventure in the top flight. Perhaps he will calm down and let Ole Gunnar Solskjaer pilot the club to safety, but you would fancy them more if they had a striker as good as the former Man United man. C. Read the other 19 grades here.

Thomas Hitzlsperger is gay. The former German International and Villa/Stuttgart/Lazio/West Ham/Wolfsburg/Everton man made the announcement yesterday. One day announcements like this won't have to be announced. Until then, well played, Tommy. Respect. Marcus Christensen has a good piece on the man they called 'Der Hammer'.

Over in Italy, Lazio are a club in chaos. The Roman giants just haven't been able to get it together of late. James Horncastle takes a closer look.

Friend of SSN, Professor at Duke, Haitian Expert, and All Around Good Guy Laurent Dubois has a new piece in Sports Illustrated. This time around, Professor Dubois is looking at Afro-Europe in the World Cup.

Eastern Europe expert Jonathan Wilson is in Venice. The local club are in trouble. They might go under. Sorry. Take a look.

There is a match of note this afternoon. Manchester City host West Ham in a Capital One Cup Semi-Final First Leg clash at the Etihad. Here's a preview. As with yesterday, it can be viewed in the USA on beIN Sport USA at 2:45pm EST.

The Mill is burning up. It's so hot it needs a Plus One.

Onward!!

-SSN