Di Matteo Gets Di Sack

You're not surprised, are you? Chelsea lost in Turin last night and it would seem Roman has had enough of his latest gaffer. You're fired, Roberto. So what now? Guardiola? Benítez? Why would anyone want that job? Here's a nice rundown of sacked Chelsea managers. And Phil McNulty on the issue at hand.

OK, what else happened? Shak won their match so it does look like Chelsea will exit the Champions League sooner rather than later. Shak used a heavy dose of unsportsmanlike conduct to get their win, however. Check out this goal. Not in the spirit of football, indeed.

Celtic lost at Benfica, Manchester United Light lost at Galatasaray, and Messi scored twice (yawn) as Barcelona cruised. Here's the latest group update.

Today we've got Manchester City vs. Real Madrid (Ronny Returns to Manchester!), Arsenal vs. Montpelier, Ajax vs. Dortmund, and AC Milan vs. Anderlecht. And a couple more. There's absolutely no reason you should be working this afternoon. Take the time to watch some footie. It's a Thanksgiving tradition.

Thierry Henry might come back to Arsenal yet again. Here, check it out if you wish.

And that's really all that's happening today. Apart from the Champions League and Chelsea, it's all a bit quiet. Let's end with Martin Samuel. He's wondering if Luis Suarez can really be Player of the Year.

Onward!!

-SSN

Football Weekly, Golden Balls, Juventus vs. Chelsea, Hammers and Potters, Phil, Sid, Rafa, Paolo, Tim

Ahoy! Podcast. Football Weekly: James Richardson's joined by Barry Glendenning, Gregg Bakowski and Twitter's latest arrival, Amy Lawrence. We start with the action at the top of the Premier League, with Arsenal tonking Tottenham and Manchester City hitting top spot after United lost at Norwich. Next, we turn to the Champions League, where Chelsea – fresh from defeat at West Brom – have another tricky fixture at Juventus. Finally, an angry Michael Hann comes in to tell us how dreadful things are under Mark Hughes at QPR, now 4 points adrift at the bottom after losing 3-1 at home to Southampton. All that plus Sid Lowe, breastfeeding, and Snoop Lion (née Dogg) buying into Celtic.

Make it stop...

Monday Night Football: West Ham drew with Stoke in a decent match. We took it in and were not terribly disappointed. Yelling at a television containing images of Sam Allardyce can be quite therapeutic. David Hytner was there. Here's the current table.

David Beckham has announced that he will leave the Galaxy after the MLS Cup match. How will the league cope without its biggest star? Jeff Carlisle thinks about it. Richard Williams reckons Golden Balls has one more gig left in his pants before he leaves the pitch for good. And here's the view from Beckham expert Grant Wahl.

Phil Ball and Sid Lowe are in Spain, don't you know? Phil wants to talk some Benzema. Sid wants you to remember somebody named José Antonio Reyes. Who? Yes, him. He played a big part in the  Seville Derby! Check out his goal after just 12 seconds. Kick-off, back to keeper, keep to Reyes, goal. Oops.



Raphael Honigstein is in Germany where Schalke lost to leave Bayern Munich eight points clear at the top. Done and dusted, then.

Paolo Bandini is in Italy where Sampdoria beat Genoa to claim honors in the Lighthouse Derby. Word is Samp have a bit of young talent. Hmmm.

Right! There are matches today, and a couple of them matter a bit. The biggie is Juventus vs. Chelsea. Torres to be dropped? Di Mateo on his way out? The pressure is on! Richard Williams is already in Turin getting ready for the clash. He's got his mind on Pirlo. Don't we all?

Elsewhere, Manchester United return to "hell" but they'll play a reserve side, and Celtic go to Benfica. Here's a look at all the groups. Ben Lyttleton is correct when he claims the Champions League group stage is approaching a climactic finish. 

Let's finish with Tim Vickery down in Brazil. This week, Tim investigates why the Brazil club matches attract fewer folks than MLS matches. Here are some hints: The calendar is badly organised, the cost of tickets has risen too much, pricing many out of the game, and people of all income levels are preferring to watch the games on TV either at home or in bars. The timing of games does not help - 21:50 at night is too late and in the big cities, 19:30 on a midweek evening is too early. But for all the blame that can be heaped on the organisation and the facilities, the mentality of the fans themselves is also part of the problem.

Right! Off you go!

Onward!!

-SSN

Weekend Review, MNF, Snoop Wants Celtic Scarf, Gazza in Italy, MLS, Chelsea Crisis?, Pirlo

Well, that was quite the weekend, huh? Where else to start but the Emirates Stadium? You simply knew Adebayor would score when he was listed on the team sheet for Spurs. What you didn't know, was that he would continue his now alarmingly common penchant for violence in a manner that would push the self destruct button for his team. Arsenal had their usual poor start and Spurs looked ready to dominate the proceedings until Ade struck. His best performance for the Gunners? Depends on your perspective, we suppose... Daniel Taylor was there.  Jonny Boyle looks back at the tactics. We told you Friday to expect goals. Turns out there were seven.

Elsewhere Manchester United lost at Delia Smith's house which allowed Manchester City to go top after their romp against Villa, Chelsea also lost on the road (crisis??!!???!!), and Luis Suarez led Liverpool  to victory. Five things we learned. Ten talking points.

L.A. Galaxy are going back to the MLS Cup Final again. They defeated Seattle on aggregate and will now face Houston Dynamo in a couple of weeks. Where is that match, you ask? At the Home Depot Center -- the Galaxy's stadium. 

And you don't stop. And you don't quit. Cheuh.

OK. Europe. Italy. Inter are angry about their draw with Catania, Fiorentina continued their good form thanks to Liverpool outcast Aquilani, Juve and Lazio drew, and Napoli and AC Milan drew. More tomorrow from Paolo. In Spain, as you might expect, Barcelona and Real Madrid both cruised to wins. The only shocker was that while Real scored five, Ronaldo didn't get any of them. And...Messi scored twice. More tomorrow from Sid and Phil.

Snoop Doggy Dog uh ogg. One, two, three and to the four. The biggest footy fan in the world of rap wants a piece of that icky icky Celtic shit. Read about it.

If you have any desire to see Tony Pulis and Sam Allardyce at the same time, you're in luck. Check out Monday Night Football this afternoon. West Ham host Stoke City. 

Let's recall an era when Britain fell in love with Italian football and Italy fell in love with the madcap antics of Paul Gascoigne, shall we?

And then we're left with Andrea Pirlo. The Daily Mail has an exclusive. We now know Pirlo's favorite English player is Wayne Rooney. His top teammate? It has to be Maldini.

That's your Monday! Relax, it's a short week.

Onward!!

-SSN

Podcast, Fiorentina, Joey Barton, Joy of Six, Previews

Friday. Finally. Club football returns tomorrow, thank God. Let's begin with a podcast, yes?

Here's the intro: It's the sexiest Football Weekly Extraaaa line-up ever, with James Richardson joined by Pedro Pinto, Rafa Honigstein, and Barry Glendenning. Just look at them in that photo. Speaking of sexy, we start with that goal by that man Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Woof! Jimbo reckons this strike by Giuseppe Biava is the best goal he's ever seen, closely followed by this thracker by Dejan Stankovic - but let us know yours on the blog below. Next, Pedro tells us about his up close and personal interview with Cristiano Ronaldo (which goes out on CNN on Friday and over the weekend). Meow. We then turn our attention to the Premier League, where things don't get much sexier than West Ham v Stoke and the bottom of the table clash between QPR and Southampton. Finally, and no less sexily, Sid Lowe accidentally answers the phone to us because he was expecting a call from his butcher. Or something.

Fiorentina Fan

Fiorentina. La Viola. The pride of the "cradle of the Renaissance". One of our favorite sides back in the days of Batistuta. Bankrupt a decade ago and now back up to fourth in Serie A. Michael Cox, the master of technical analysis, investigates why. And how.

Joey Barton. Mentally deficient. Subhuman. Welcome, sweet and tender hooligan. Grant Wahl wants to take a closer look for some reason. In fact, he interviewed Joey, and it makes for an interesting read. Off you go, Grant.

The weekend EPL plate is dominated by the North London Derby. This edition (number 169) takes place at the Emirates Stadium. Don't misbehave if you're going. Tisk Tisk. U.S. viewers can take in the action tomorrow at 7:45am EST on ESPN2. Expect a lot of goals. Let's be honest here. Neither team is very good. Here's a nice synopsis of just what it all means. 

Right. Here's a preview for all the rest of the action. Don't worry: Here are Lawro's and Merse's predictions. And Louise Taylor has ten things to look for.

The Joy of Six: Nutmegs. One of the six is Claudio Lopez from THAT game in 1998 against Holland. His goal comes around 0:30 but why not revisit all three? Including, of course, Mr. Bergkamp...



Right. Time to wrap it up. Over in Spain, Real Madrid host Bilbao whilst Barcelona welcome Real Zaragoza to Camp Nou. In Italy, Saturday serves some sumptuous fare in the form of Juventus vs. Lazio and Napoli vs. AC Milan.

Wait! Playoffs! Yes, Major League Soccer. The second legs. OK. They're on Sunday. We'll let Kyle McCarthy hash it out.

Have a great weekend.

Onward!!

-SSN

Ibra! Ibra! Ibra! Neymar! Neymar! Neymar!

Everyone is talking about Ibrahimovic's insane-o goal in the match against England yesterday. There's no point in linking to it here -- it's everywhere. Go find it. Now. Feeling lazy? Fine. Here's a link.  Amy Lawrence has a nice piece on the freak that is The Zlatan (whom we still loath -- arrogant prick)! England lost, by the way.

The United States scored two goals in Russia to snatch a draw from the Evil Empire. There were the usual foolish mistakes, and Russia looked far more dangerous, but there were some positives in the Yank performance. The result means that the U.S. finished the calendar year with its best ever record: won nine, lost two, with three draws. Hope for the future? Let's hope so. Grant Wahl has his usual Three Thoughts. Avi has his usual Player Ratings. Here's a report.

Here's a wrap of what else when on in these meaningless matches.

To go along with the wonder-strike from the Swede, check out this outrageously poor penalty from Neymar. Brazil played Colombia up in the Meadowlands and this might be the worst spot kick we've ever seen! Hilarious stuff:

Nice, right?  OK, what else is out there? Well, the North London Derby is this Saturday. We might as well get things going on that front, right? AVB says Spurs need to finish above Arsenal to make the Champions League. Seems logical.

Back to those goals. In more than 35 years covering international football for the BBC, John Motson has seen 200 matches and been to 10 World Cups. Who better then to place Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s wonder goal in the context of some of the great strikes we have seen over the years.  Here, Motson reveals his top 10 international goals of all time.

Remember Papiss Cisse? He plays for Newcastle. Our Editor plays pick-up on Sunday mornings with his brother, Cherif. Anyway, Papiss has been in a bit of a sophomore slump. Now we know why...

That's all, folks. Tune in tomorrow for previews for the real football that's set to return at the weekend.

Onward!!

-SSN

International Friendly Crap, Berbatov, Dzeko, Drunk Hope Solo

We're watching Russia vs. USA right now. No spoilers, don't worry. Although, the U.S. has a player named Gatt. Sweet. We think he plays somewhere in Scandinavia  Speaking of Russia, are they still the bad guys in the remake of Red Dawn?

There are tons of other friendlies occurring today. Frankly, we don't give a shit.

Let's see. What else is going on? David Hytner talks about Berbatov. Good.

Rob Smyth answers this: Why Edin Dzeko is Manchester City’s glory boy.

Here's something quite odd. It seems Hope Solo was about to marry some ex-NFL guy, but then they got in a fight, and the dude ended up in jail. The article, if you wish. Wait! An update! They got married anyway. Sounds like it was a great party.

What's going on in Serbia, you ask? Well, Giants Partizan and Red Star are in financial trouble. No surprise there. The surprise is that the government plans to bail them out. Hmmm.

Someone Tottenham hired is in trouble. Apparently, an investigator hired by Tottenham to help their bid for the Olympic Stadium has been charged with fraud after allegedly obtaining the private telephone records of West Ham director Karren Brady illegally.

Mark Clattenburg. Ugh. Here's the latest. The cops have bailed and it looks like the FA will, as well.

That's it for today. Sorry, pretty quiet.

Onward!!

-SSN

Football Weekly Podcast, Gun in Messi's Face, Crystal Palace?, Top Euro Scribes, Jonathan Wilson in Argentina, MLS Playoffs, Jozy

Right! Off we go on a miserable Tuesday. The fun of a delightfully mild autumn in the Southeast is obviously over. Boo.

Let's kick-off with the Podcast. Here's what's on offer this week: The BBC may been in crisis, but there's no such problem for the pod, as AC Jimbo welcomes Barry Glendenning, Barney Ronay and Gregg Bakowski to shoot the breeze and, indeed, effluvia after a semi-dramatic weekend in the Premier League. We start with Chelsea's wasteful draw at home to Liverpool, before heading on to discuss Manchester City's 2-1 win over Spurs (see, Bobby Manc does know what he's doing some of the time), United's come-from-behind victory at Aston Villa, and Arsenal's continuing malaise following their 3-3 draw with Fulham. Next, it's time for any other business, including Gary Neville's revised plans for his mega-hotel, footballers' former professions, and Yann M'Vila's two-year ban for nightclubbing. Finally, it's back to matters on the pitch during the Serie A soliloquy and the most cursory of previews of those pesky international friendlies. We've got housewives' favourites Rafa Honigstein and Pedro Pinto with us on Thursday for what is potentially our sexiest line-up ever.

MLS Playoffs?!: Five Things We Learned

Messi Enjoys Some Saudi Hospitality

There are meaningless international friendlies this week. But, Jozy Altidore will join the U.S. team in Russia. Welcome back! Grant Wahl has Three Thoughts on the U.S. squad ahead of Wednesday's match. Steven Gerrard is about to get his 100th cap for England. James Lawton investigates.

Did we say meaningless friendlies? Yes, we bloody well did. Argentina are in Saudi Arabia. Thanks to The Dirty Tackle, we get to see their arrival, complete with a gun in Messi's face. And Spain get to play in Panama. I guess they actually enjoy jet lag. Seems a bit odd, though.

It IS Tuesday, after all, and that means Mr. Phil Ball. Phil is in Spain and eager to understand why young talent takes longer to come through in his adopted land. Sid Lowe is also in Spain and he wants to talk about The Wounding of Ronaldo and the bad blood between Levante and Real Madrid.

Paolo Bandini is in Italy. What happened in Rome? Raphael Honigstein is in Germany. What happened in Munich?

Jonathan Wilson is in Argentina and he wants you to know about Gerardo Martino. Remember that name.

Tim Vickery is in Brazil and he remembers his favorite match.

Crystal Palace! Crystal Palace! He's all the rage these days...he's...Wilfried Zaha!

Done.

Onward!!

-SSN

Busy Monday

Good Day. We're extremely busy this morning so let's just fly on through. John Terry got hurt in Chelsea's draw with Liverpool. Karma? No comment. We saw Dzeko score late to win it for Manchester City against Tottenham, and Chicarito score late to win it for Manchester United at Villa. We almost saw Arsenal score late to win it against Fulham but Arteta managed to make his day go from bad to worse by failing to score from the spot. The Fifth Official loves it, of course.

How the hell did we miss the Rome Derby? An error, to be sure. We'll see what Paolo has to say about it tomorrow. Lazio won, by the way. And Michael Bradley played the full ninety for Roma. Inter Milan and AC Milan both lost. Hmmm.

MLS Playoffs. A Breakdown.

In Spain, Real Madrid and Barcelona won. And Ronaldo and Messi scored. More from Phil and Sid tomorrow.

Here's an interesting article by Daniel Taylor. It ran in The Observer. Remember Michael Branch? He was supposed to be Everton's next great star back in the 90s. He's now in prison.

Did you see these five great goals this weekend? The Telegraph says you did not.

That's it. A lot more tomorrow.

Onward!!

-SSN

The U.S. and the Hex, Europa League, Weekend Agenda

Let's start with what really matters. The United States will have a tough little run when World Cup qualifying resumes in February. Away to Honduras, home against Costa Rica, and then away to Mexico. The diving German has his work cut out. And, where in the U.S. will the matches take place?

OK, matches yesterday. Does anyone really care about the Europa League? It's tough to say. There are some big clubs involved, but it's such an afterthought. We saw that Liverpool lost and Tottenham won. Here's a wrap.

Can we go directly to The Joy of Six? Excellent. It's Favourite Football Grounds. How can you pick just six? The Britannia Stadium? Now you're having a laugh. Craven Cottage is nice, though.

Major League Soccer. There are only four teams left. NY Energy Drink lost to D.C. United in a very odd series. That means on Sunday you've got United at Houston (4pm EST) and Seattle at L.A. (9pm EST). This is kind of exciting.

Fabrice Muamba. What a story. He says the last thing he recalls hearing on March 17, as Bolton played Tottenham in an FA Cup quarter final, was his colleague Zat Knight screaming at him to “come back”. Jesus H. Christ! Here's more from Jim White.

OK. Time for the weekend agenda. Starting in the EPL, Sunday has the tasty nuggets. The early match is Manchester City vs. Tottenham. A bit later is Chelsea vs. Liverpool. Here's a preview.  Lawro, you say? Yes. Paul Merson? Yes. Look out for these 10 things, OK?

Looking around the rest of Europe, we'd have to say that Barcelona at Mallorca might be interesting just to see how they bounce back from the loss at Celtic. Other than that, there is a dearth of attractive fixtures. We'll have to be satisfied with the EPL offerings.

We'll leave you with this video. It took place during the clash between Division III nerd schools Colby and Amherst. And it's pretty great.

Onward!!

-SSN

Celtic Beat Barcelona, Mod Rod Cries, and Other Things

Holy Fucking Shit! Celtic beat Barcelona. We said yesterday we thought it might be interesting and it was. Celtic emerged victorious with 16% of the possession. 16%!! Here's a report from Ewan Murray who was at Celtic Park. Rod is below.



It was really exciting stuff across the Champions League last night. Chelsea edged Shaktar thanks to some dodgy goalkeeping and a brilliant piece of skill from Oscar. You know Henry Winter wouldn't miss that one.

Manchester United got assistance from a power failure and some dodgy goalkeeping to win at Braga and advance to the Round of 16. Elsewhere, Bayern Munich scored six against limp Lille and Juventus cruised past Nordsjaelland. Here's a wrap and here's a look at the groups.

The Group Stage has indeed been a treat thus far. Here are 10 Talking Points.

OK, enough of the Champions League. How about some playoffs? Houston lost to KC but advanced anyway. Robbie Keane got to do his moronic goal celebration twice as L.A. ousted San Jose. And Red Bull and United got screwed by snow. They'll try again tonight.

On to the World Cup. At least, that's what we are hoping here in the U.S. The Hex Draw is tonight in South Beach. Jeff Carlisle breaks it down like this.

Shit. Almost forgot about the Oscar goal. Here it is.

Onward!!

-SSN

Champions League Two-Twos, Americans Abroad, Jewish Chants, Fun in Finland

2-2 was the name of the game yesterday. Manchester City, Ajax, Real Madrid, Borussia Dortmund, Schalke, and Arsenal all scored two goals. And Manchester City are pissed! Rightly so, it must be said. Super Mario was basically thrown to the ground in the final minute (right in front of the ref) and nothing was given. Regardless, City have flopped. Jamie Jackson has five reasons why. Phil McNulty says Mancini must recognize the brutal truth.

Here are how the groups look. The BBC has all the permutations. Ben Lyttleton discusses things about the Champions League.

Getting paid to watch a match and do nothing: The Fifth Official

Today you've got Shakhtar at Chelsea as the most attractive fixture. Jonathan Wilson knows his Eastern European football. Here he discusses the man behind Shaktar's success. Elsewhere, Celtic host Barcelona, which could be interesting. And Manchester United are in Portugal to face Braga.

There's chanting going on at White Hart Lane. But, there has always been chanting going on at White Hart Lane. Tottenham has a strong Jewish history. Here's their official statement: "Our fans adopted the chant as a defence mechanism in order to own the term and thereby deflect anti-Semitic abuse. They do not use the term to others to cause any offence, they use it a chant amongst themselves. "The club believes that real anti-Semitic abuse such as hissing to simulate the noise of gas chambers is the real evil and the real offence. We believe this is the area that requires a determined and concerted effort from all parties and where we seek greater support to eradicate." For some that's not enough.

The playoffs return tonight. Yes, Major League Soccer continues down the path to some sort of final game. New York Red Bull host D.C. United at 8pm EST on the NBC Sports Network. Super-Storm Sandy fucked up the last leg so they had to switch venues. Anyway, this was a nice gesture. Here are some predictions. 

Some Americans prefer to ply their trade outside of the United States. Here is a look at what a bunch of them are up to. Yes, it's Americans Abroad!

Former UNC Asheville goalkeeper Lassi Hurskainen is a funny guy with excellent trick-shot skills. Check him out. The 3:12 mark is worth a chuckle.

This is interesting: Santa Cruz: The third division Brazilian club with the incredible fanbase. Who knew?

OK. Done.

Onward!!

-SSN

West Brom Win, Ibra Kung Fu, The Death of a Derby, Tuesday Regulars, Champions League

Monday Night Football is where we'll begin: West Bromwich Albion continued their fine season with a relatively easy win at The Hawthorns. Odemwingie was the main man for West Brom. Southampton offered little in resistance and remain rooted at the bottom of the EPL Table.

Staying in England, we can't get away from woeful Arsenal. John Brewin laments the death of a Derby and Henry Winter discusses the culture of complacency that's dominating the club at the moment.

OK, let's head over to the continent. Phil Ball wants to crunch some numbers in San Sebastián, and Sid Lowe says it's not all doom and gloom in Madrid even though Atlético Madrid had their winning streak snapped by Valencia. Did you know that neither Messi, Ronaldo, nor Falcao scored this weekend? You've got to go back over a year to find the last time that happened. Or didn't happen. Whatever.

The Bundesliga is Raphael Honigstein's territory. He says Bayern Munich are back after their 3-0 win over Hamburg. Check out this super-sweet goal from Thomas Müller from that match. Quick thinking, indeed!

Among other things, Grant Wahl talks about Tim Howard. And Jozy. Jozy keeps scoring in Holland, but will he score for the USA?

The UEFA Champions League returns this afternoon. And look, they're already fighting in Paris. PSG vs. Dynamo Zagreb. Not too many hooligans between those two. No, not too many at all. Idiots.

Yes, it's Matchday Three. Real Madrid host Borussia Dortmund. Schalke will try to beat Arsenal again, this time in Germany. And this could be it for Manchester City. They host Ajax. Maybe they'll just roll over and end it already. Here's a link to the tables so you can see where everyone stands at the moment.

Shit. Paolo Bandini is in Italy. Just how will Juventus bounce back?
Shit. Tim Vickery in Brazil. Just what is going on down there?


Football Weekly. We'll let them tell us what's on offer:
On today's Football Weekly, James Richardson invites Barry Glendenning, Owen Gibson and banter's Rob Smyth to look back on a weekend of occasional drama but mostly just draws. We start with all the business from the Premier League, where Manchester United beat Arsenal in a game every bit as chastening as last season's 8-2, Liverpool showed that they're also a long-ball side, and Chelsea were lucky to leave Swansea with a point. Next, we wonder whether Manchester City can pull off a Lazarus-like comeback in the Champions League (probably not), and then it's a quick stop to Serie A, where Inter stopped Juventus making it 50 matches unbeaten. Elsewhere, we hear from Ewan Murray about how Celtic plan to stop Barcelona , while Sid Lowe sends out an appeal to save his beloved Oviedo and challenges you not to watch Gary Lineker doing the do instead. And finally, we speculate over the tubbiest footballers ever to take to the field of play. Which is a bit naughty and very hypocritical, considering most of our podders get out of breadth just climbing stairs.


Do you care what it's like for U.S. soccer players raising kids in Europe? Do you? Really? Fine, read this.

Let's sneak Gabriele Marcotti in here. He considers the new Inter Milan gaffer. Stramaccioni. Is he "special"? He certainly has a special name.

Ibra's wife and kid. No comment.

More fun with The Idiotic Ibrahimovic!  Here's his kung-fu red card from the weekend.

Fine, that's your lot. Have at it. We'll be enjoying the Real Madrid/Dortmund match later. Hopefully you can get some footie in as well.

Onward!!

http://sanford-soccer-net.blogspot.com/

A Rogue Sprinkler and Juventus Lose

Monday, monday, monday... Let's dive right in with The Fifth Official, shall we? He/She always enjoys a dig at Arsenal and after their inept performance at Old Trafford, there are plenty of reasons to have a go. Throw in some classic AVB and Sparky failings, and it's all too easy for the Monday column.

Yes, both North London clubs were particularly poor. We were out and about Saturday afternoon and asked to describe Arsenal's performance. Since our mate Ryan was in Manchester for the match (as was Phil McNulty), and we had been texting back and forth prior to kick-off, and he works here, it was perhaps fitting that the first adjective that popped up was "flaccid". And don't you know the old scribe Richard Williams nicked our term for his column? Thief. Anyway, United strolled to an easy victory and are now top of the table. We didn't see the match at White Hart Lane, but don't worry too much, Tottenham fans. Wigan are pretty good.



Elsewhere, Liverpool and Newcastle drew in a match that included a lovely bit of skill from one Luis Suarez. Now THAT is a nice goal. The match also featured a sprinkler gone rogue. See the video above. The other team in Manchester? You mean the one that wears Carolina blue? Let's just say that none of the following players managed to score at West Ham: Carlos Tevez, Sergio Agüero, Mario Balotelli, Edin Dzeko, Samir Nasri, Yaya Touré. Basically players who cost about the same as the GDP of a decent-sized nation.

Talking points. Everybody loves Talking Points. Here are 10.

The Soccer of the Major League variety. Playoffs. Break it down like this!

Holy shit. Stop the presses. Juventus and their Chuck Norris-like talisman Andrea Pirlo lost to Inter Milan. It's their first loss in 50 matches in Serie A. It's their first loss EVER in their new ground. Suddenly, after a crap start to the season, Inter are the form team in Serie A. Funny old game. More on that from Paolo domani.

AC Milan, you say? Well, they won convincingly at the San Siro against Chievo. And Chris Bevan chats with their winger Urby Emanuelson about all their recent changes.

Spain. Right. Real Madrid and Barcelona both won. What more do you want? We'll let Phil and Sid hash it out for us tomorrow.

Would you care to see Stuart Holden talking about the state of soccer in the States?

Right. Off you go.

Wait! There's Monday Night Football. West Brom (not bad so far) host Southampton (God-awful so far). Here's a preview.

Onward!!

http://sanford-soccer-net.blogspot.com/

Friday. What a Week. Bloody Hell.

Good Grief. 

We've been feverish (literally) all bloody week. Throw in some Clattenburg, some crazy Cup action, 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy), SSN Special Advisor Grant Tennille stepping down from his 17-year + position with a United States Corporate Giant Icon to follow his love of the bean, and we're ready for things to simmer (literally) down a bit.

But, no. We've got loads of great action this weekend, beginning with Arsenal's trip to Old Trafford. Louise Taylor has the Talking Points for the EPL weekend, so let's get those out of the way. Georgina Turner wants to talk about Arsenal. The floor is yours, Georgina.

As a fair amount of SSN regulars support either Arsenal or Manchester United, here's a preview. And another. Check it: RVP turned down a mega-deal at City to join United! How about that? If you care to check out the fare from the USA, head to ESPN2 at 8:45am EDT tomorrow.

Solid Old Man Hair, Something About Mary Hair, Fake Hair

And Liverpool host Newcastle. Now, that should be interesting. Will Demba Ba play? Who knows? That one is on Sunday.

Here's preview for the weekend.

And Lawro want's to tell us what will happen. And so does Mr. Merson. Thanks, guys.

Elsewhere around Europe fixtures that raise a brow include Valencia hosting Atlético Madrid, Juventus vs. Inter Milan (Derby d' Italia!), and Hamburg vs. Bayern Munich.

Returning to more local issues, it would appear that the Galaxy from Los Angeles won their playoff match last night. For some reason there's no Forecast today so...sorry, we suppose? Anyway, the big one tonight is Seattle vs. Real Salt Lake. And then the other teams that are left play tomorrow and Sunday. Here's the official site.

More racism! This time in Austria! Bleh. Let's cheer up by checking in with Martin Tyler.

OK! Let's end this madness. Sid Lowe wants to talk about scoring sensation Radamel "The Tiger" Falcao. When Sid talks, you bloody well listen. The Joy of Six is Penalty Shootouts, here's a lovely little piece of interest: Premier League Goals By Nationality. Norway? Ole Gunnar!

That's your lot! Enjoy the weekend. We'll leave you with an article from the legendary When Saturday Comes. One Livorno fan's lonely journey across Italy.

Onward!!

-SSN

Capital One Festival of Goal Insanity, Serie A, Clattenburg Crap

Now that's a bit funny, innit?

OK, so it finally emerged that Clatterburg is accused of saying, "shut it, monkey" to Mikel. The ref claims he did not say that. Look for this to drag on far too long. What a shitstorm. Speaking of shitstorms, at the Chelsea/Manchester United match last night, a Chelsea fan was caught on camera making what certainly appears to be monkey gesture (see below). Pure class, that club. No word if the Chelsea fans attacked their own stewards this time out.

There's our man. Lovely...

There was actual football played, we can certainly tell you that. And it was fantastic, yet again. This time out it was Chelsea who took the win, and like yesterday's Reading/Arsenal insanity, it went to extra time. Henry Winter was there to view all the excitement. His colleague Jim White says the classic drama of Chelsea's 5-4 victory over Manchester United is the perfect antidote to all the poison. Hmmm. Anecdote might be a bit of a strong term to use. It certainly was nice, but this crap is not going away.

Daniel Taylor was also at The Bridge, and you can check out all the highlights here. And don't forget the iconic Richard Williams' report.

There were two other matches in the What's in Your Wallet Cup yesterday. Tottenham lost as Clint Dempsey missed a penalty. And Liverpool lost as Joe Cole had a howler. Here's the draw for the next round. Leeds play Chelsea. Oh, dear. Prepare the in-stadium jail.

Over in Italy, Serie A was in full gear. Paolo Bandini does a wonderful job keeping us in the loop. And we'll throw in a wrap for good measure.

In the City of Chicago, the Fire lost to the Dynamo. We sent SSN's man on the ground in the Windy City Bobbie S. down to Toyota Park to check out the action. Hopefully he'll submit a report if he's not too hungover.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Hah! Hah! Hah!

That's it.

Onward!!

-SSN

Capital One Festival of Goal Insanity, Serie A, USA Women = New Gaffer

Hello. La Gripe has invaded the SSN Headquarters so we'll try to be brief. Did you watch the League Cup match between Reading and Arsenal yesterday? We had it on in the background whilst taking care of other business. And we're pleased as punch that we did. Suffice to say, it was INSANE. Highlights are here. The score? Look up. It would appear that Arsenal won the first set.

Paul Doyle was at the Madejski Stadium.  So was Jack Pitt-Brooke.

The match was so weird that Francis Coquelin and Olivier Giroud threw their shirts to the traveling Arsenal fans because it was 4-4 at the end of regulation and they thought they'd earned a replay. But there are no replays at this stage of the competition. So they had to ask for them back...

Today brings the potential for another entertaining fixture as Chelsea and Manchester United clash again at Stamford Bridge. How many cards will this one produce? Security has been beefed ahead of the game. Here's a preview. You've also got Norwich/Tottenham and Liverpool/Swansea. Not bad for a League Cup Wednesday. Not bad at all.

You want more of the Clattenburg crap? Sure you do. Here. Sam Wallace says Chelsea face a referee backlash if the accusations against Mark Clattenburg are baseless. Daniel Taylor says Chelsea can't afford to be wrong with this one. No shit.

The United States' women's team has a new gaffer. His name is Tom Sermanni. Jeff Carlisle says he's a fine choice. Well, then. Fine.

Problems in the Premier League? Not when foreign cash keeps flooding in. The BBC's David Bond looks at all the money (Thanks, NBC!) being paid to show the game across the globe.

Major League Soccer playoffs begin tonight in Chicago. Grant Wahl wants to make some predictions, including KC to win the whole shebang.

There are domestic cup competitions going on in Spain and Germany, but we don't have the time to worry about that. Barcelona won their match, OK? Iniesta scored. Great. However, in Italy, there is Serie A midweek action. Yesterday, AC Milan went down by two goals to Palermo before scraping to a draw. Here's a report. Everyone else plays today. Here's a preview.

Right!

Onward!!

-SSN

Clattenburg Chaos Continues, More Superclásico, Americans Abroad

We promised yesterday that we'd look back more extensively at the River Plate/Boca Juniors match from the weekend. Jonathan Wilson was at Estadio Monumental. Tim Vickery? We're not sure he was actually at the match, but he's in South America and has his opinion.

Morgan and Leroux do their best Maroney and Douglas.

It's Tuesday and that means we keep an eye on the top scribes around the top leagues. Phil Ball is in Spain (Golden Oldies!) . So is Sid Lowe (Bilbao's crisis deepens!) . Rafa Honigstein is in Germany (Leverkusen win at Bayern Munich!). Paolo Bandini is in Italy (poor officiating!).

Geez, Louise. This Mark Clatterburg racism charge thingy is just too weird. What did he say? Did he say anything? Louise Taylor looks at his history. This is the completely worthless youtube clip that's making the rounds. Thanks! All sorted. Anyway, here's what all the papers say. As usual, Henry Winter has a sound take on the situation. And the cops are getting involved. He denies, it of course.

OK, enough of all that rubbish. Do Americans play in Europe? You bet they do.

What's in your wallet? The Capital One Cup resumes today. There are some decent matches but the big one is tomorrow when Manchester United and Chelsea play again at Stamford Bridge. Nice. We'll look  at that more closely tomorrow. For now, James Lawton says this: Chelsea v Manchester United horrors typical of a game diving into the gutter.

The United States women have some funny Halloween costumes. We like Wambach's Top Gun the best.

Sticking in the U.S., we'll finish today with another look at the Major League Soccer playoffs. Break it down like this.

Wait! Football Weekly! That means all of this: It's controversy all the way on today's Football Weekly, and not just because Barney Ronay's in the pod on particularly pugnacious form. Also keeping James Richardson company in near-Earth orbit are Amy Lawrence and Gregg Bakowski, and we begin by discussing the goals, red cards and more in Manchester United's victory over Chelsea. Next up, it's the Merseyside derby – a game similarly replete with incident – as well as Arsenal's 1-0 win over QPR, which was only marginally less dramatic than the club's AGM, and the rest of the drama from the Premier League. Finally, we round up the action from around Europe, hear from Sid Lowe in a taxi and – definitely worth waiting for – there's Barney's zinger about Walter Zenga.

Onward!!

-SSN

Great Games, Ref Racism?, NYTimes Terry, EPL on TV in the USA to NBC, Superclásico

Happy Monday, folks. The New York Times has a long piece on John Terry. It a pretty solid summation of the clown. Have a go, if you'd like.

As if all the racism insanity isn't enough, we get to cruise out of the weekend on the wings of the accusation that Mark Clattenburg used racist language toward some Chelsea players. We're at a loss for words. What the hell is going on? Here's a piece on the accusation, and Phil McNulty's view.

Now he has to respond to that accusation AND the fact that he made some terrible decisions that enabled Manchester United to take the match 2-3 against a Chelsea side that finished with nine men. Exactly why Manchester United get everything gifted to them is something we've yet to understand. Yet there is was again at Stamford Bridge. With momentum swinging Chelsea's way, the ref and his assistants intervened to make sure the Reds ran out winners. Henry Winter was there, and as he put it, the match was "sublime, grubby, and surreal." Yes, Ivanovic had to go. Torres did not. And The Little Pea got the winner from an offside position. All that said, it was a blast to view, and all of us at SSN Headquarters thoroughly enjoyed the spectacle. Daniel Taylor was there. And Richard Williams. As was my buddy Ryan. Wanker. His photo from The Bridge is above.

Normally we'd be satisfied with one epic encounter on the weekend but we were treated to two. It was a hell of a Sunday. The Merseyside Derby rocked. Is it just us or has this match been dull of late? No matter, this one had everything, including another glaring mistake from a linesman, this one on Suarez's last-minute winner that was incorrectly called off for offside. This match even had Phil Neville booked for diving. Phil Neville! It was hilarious, is has to be said. Suarez did have a goal that stood and his celebration of a mock dive in front of the Liverpool faithful was funny. It really was. Andy Hunter was there. As was Richard Jolly. It ended in a draw.

Here are 10 Talking Points (we do not agree with Rob Smyth). And Daniel Taylor on Arsenal's issues, if you care to read about things about which you've already read...

Hey! NBC. Yes, NBC will be broadcasting the Premier League in the U.S. beginning in 2013/14. No more FOX or ESPN. Things are getting interesting...

Major League Soccer. Our league. The regular season if over. The playoffs await. Here's The Breakdown. 

Spain: Barca, Atl. Madrid, Real Madrid win. Messi, Ronaldo (yawn) score. That's a wrap.
Italy: Juve, Napoli, Inter, AC Milan win but there was more ref controversy. That's a wrap.

The Superclásico in Buenos Aires took place this weekend as well. Sam Kelly had a nice preview. And here's a post view. Apparently pigs flew at Estadio Monumental. We'll get Tim Vickery's view tomorrow.

Sid Lowe has a lovely column on Málaga. Thanks, Sid!

Right! That's your lot for Monday.

Onward!!

-SSN

Europa League, Merseyside Derby, Chelsea vs. Man. U., MLS Forecast

FRIDAY!!

We'll begin with Europe's second-tier club competition today. There were a lot of 1-0 wins. We didn't see any of them. Anyway, Inter Milan beat Partizan Belgrade 1-0. Liverpool beat the Russians with the cash (Anzhi) 1-0. Not to be left out, Newcastle downed Club Brugge 1-0. Tottenham drew, Lazio drew...sorry, started to nod off there. Here's a wrap.

OK!

So, no more DHL for Manchester United training jerseys. Bummer. We just bought several for all the SSN staff. Those crafty Glazers think they can get a better deal.

We can't wait to get our hands on the ManU General Motors kit...

It's the final weekend of regular season play in Major League Soccer. Here's The Forecast for what's on hand as things get ready to get nasty in the playoffs.

Former Arsenal striker Alan Smith has his opinion of the Arsenal "crisis".

Paul Hayward has an interesting piece on how the Premier League's star is beginning to wane. We don't disagree with his points.

Grant Wahl has a look at what a Copa America in the United States would really mean. Basically, it would be the biggest tournament to take place here since 1994. All the best of South America plus the Mexicans and us? Not too shabby. It would certainly be entertaining. That said, it turns out it's not yet a done deal. There is much left to discuss. Let's hope it actually happens.

We've got a couple of sweet matches coming up this weekend in England, and they're both on Sunday. Certainly the pick of the litter is Chelsea vs. Manchester United at Stamford Bridge. Both of these sides have been able to overcome defensive issues with impressive attacking flow. It'll be interesting to see how things pan out. Chelsea won't have FatPard or Terry and United won't have their Japanese ace. Kagawa's been ruled out for four weeks. Here's a preview. If you're in the U.S. check out Fox Soccer Channel at 12:00pm EDT.

The other biggie is the Liverpool Derby that will take place at Goodison Park. These clashes often fail to get going, mired in anxiety and caution. Hopefully things will open up a bit for this edition of the Merseyside Derby (first contested in 1894). If you're in the U.S. check out ESPN2 at 9:30am EDT. Here's a preview. And here are a few things to look for in the EPL this weekend.

We love predictions here at SSN. Here are Lawro's (he likes United to win at Chelsea) and here are Paul Merson's (Merse is going for a Chelsea victory).

Sadly, there aren't really any big games in Spain, Germany, or Italy. None of the "top clubs" face each other. Oh, well.

Martin Rogers has a column about it being time for the U.S. to think about moving forward without Landon Donovan. Yeah, we know.

We'll leave you with The Joy of Six: It's Memorable British Champions League Group Performances.

Onward!!

-SSN

Atrocious Arsenal, Shitty City, Mundane Madrid, Unimaginative Milan

Copa America is coming to the United States! 2016 will see the best of South America grace our shores. Jeff Carlisle talks about it.

Champions League? OK.

We took in the Arsenal/Schalke encounter. More like Norwich/Arsenal Part II. Another simply horrid performance from the Gunners. Andre Santos, what were you thinking? And why wasn't anything done when the problem was there for all to see?

John Brewin, Richard Williams, Raphael Honigstein, Jeremy Wilson, Amy Lawrence, Phil McNulty, and Kevin McCarra all have something to say about it. Oh, and is the club being ruined?    And Wenger says sorry.

Manchester City also lost at Ajax. Bit of a surprise there as Ajax are certainly not on the par of Schalke or Dortmund. It means it will be very difficult indeed for City to advance to the knockout stage. Henry Winter was in Amsterdam to see it all go down.

Elsewhere, Milan continued their horrid season with a loss at Malaga. And Ronaldo scored (shocking!) but Madrid failed to win at Dortmund, with the German champs winning 2-1. The Bundesliga is stronger than it's been in a while, there's no doubt. And the leading clubs are playing some attractive football. Hats off.

Here's a CL wrap. Here's a look at the tables.

What else is going on? That's really about it. The Europa League is operational today so the likes of Liverpool, Inter Milan, Tottenham, Lazio, Newcastle, and Napoli are in action. If you really care about any of that, we're sure you can track something down.

Onward!!

-SSN