Transfer Insanity, Tim Howard Insanity, Real Sociedad/Real Madrid Insanity, Paolo Bandini in Italy, Sid Lowe in Spain, Sam Kelly in Argentina, Dildo in Sky Reporter's Ear

El Tigre: "I am sure that this season will be great for us."

Good Morning! All of us at SSN Headquarters hope those of you living Stateside had an enjoyable Labor Day weekend and have returned to your respective offices with a renewed vigor ready to tackle the coming autumnal months. So much happened over the weekend it's tough to know where to begin. Actually, we know where to begin. We have to begin with the Sky Sports reporter and the dildo in his ear.

Ahem. Now then. The Transfer Window is finally closed, so let's take a look at where everyone has ended up now that the dust has settled (except for Tom Cleverley's dust). Prepare thee for...Insane-o-Linkathon:

The Major Moves Across Europe

Premier League Clubs: Ins & Outs

Premier League Clubs: Complete Transfer Spending & Listings

Phil McNulty: The winners and losers after the deadline passes

James Horncastle: Transfer grades for the elite clubs across Europe

Henry Winter: Falcao's arrival a huge deal that makes sense for in every possible way

Daniel Taylor: Falcao’s arrival at Manchester United poses formation questions

Miguel Delaney: What did we learn?

David Conn: Transfer spree reveals extent of Old Trafford upheaval

John Brewin: Is Falcao the answer for United?

Amy Lawrence: Arsenal sign the Manchester United forward Danny Welbeck for £16m

Jeremy Wilson: Welbeck transfer evidence of English policy at Arsenal & galactico policy at Manchester United

Paul Parker: Falcao coup brilliant for United - but it's the end of the road for Rooney

First XI Costs in the Premier League

Scribe time! Go around the world with the best writers every Tuesday! Extra fun with Paolo today and the return of Serie A!

Where? Spain. Who? Sid Lowe. What? The Arcángel roars as Córdoba return 

Where? Argentina. Who? Sam Kelly. What? Argentina enter the Martino era with some familiar faces

Where? South America. Who? Tim Vickery. What? Falcao is "The Tiger" who tears defenses apart

Where? Germany. Who? Andy Brassell. What? Schalke's miners find renewed energy

Where? Italy. Who? Paolo Bandini. What? Milan’s El Shaarawy dazzles without Balotelli cramping his style

Where? Monaco. Who? Andy Brassell. Wait. Isn't he in Germany? Yes, but he's also in Monaco. OK. What? Monaco's ambitious dream fades with Radamel Falcao exit

Chicharito: "Playing for Real Madrid is a dream come true. Everybody in the world knows Real Madrid."

They do play soccer at a relatively high level in the United States. The top league is called Major League Soccer. Here are Five Things We Learned from the weekend. You want Power Rankings? Bam! Bird's got you covered.

Speaking of Americans, Timmy Howard had a weekend to forget after Chelsea put six past him at Goodison Park. Some dude named Tim Hill says the USA secretary of defence is just Everton's overrated keeper. Ouch. He's incorrect, of course, but it's worth a read.

And finally, a quick look back at what happened in Europe over the weekend. For one, Real Madrid threw away a two-goal lead...

Onward!!

-SSN