What's In Your Wallet?, Quinton Fortune on South Africa 2010, David Conn on Chelsea and Third Party Ownership, Scribes, Mid-Week Euro Action, Great Gattuso Rant

From League Cup debuts to stardom...

A very fine Tuesday to you and yours. We're going to jump right in with our favorite section of the week...Scribes! As you might expect, there's loads of great stuff this week on the heels of all the goals in Spain and the drama in Italy.

Where? Spain. Who? Sid Lowe. What? Ronaldo hat-trick for Real Madrid kickstarts weekend goal fest

Where? Germany. Who? Andy Brassell. What? Revierderby rivals Borussia Dortmund and Schalke repeat same mistakes

Where? France. Who? Julien Laurens. What? Paris Saint-Germain must call on Zlatan Ibrahimovic to right the ship

Where? Germany. Who? Raphael Honigstein. What? SC Paderborn living the dream on top of Bundesliga but still target survival

Where? Italy. Who? Paolo Bandini. What? Rome moved by Aurora’s tears while Massimiliano Allegri has last laugh

Where? Germany. Mark Lovell. What? Bayern the Goliath ready for the David of Paderborn this week

We always liked Quinton Fortune as a player. He seemed like a nice guy when he was plying his trade at Atlético Madrid, Manchester United, and Bolton. Anyhoo, he's from South Africa, and he's penned a piece on his nation's state post-2010. Enjoy.

Podcast! On today's Football Weekly we've got own motley crew – Messrs Richardson, Macintosh, Steinberg and Ronay, since you asked – and they're talking goals, goals, goals, because there were a ton of them this weekend. Literally. We start with the shenanigans at the King Power Stadium, where Leicester spanked Manchester United 5-3, before contemplating Liverpool's continuing awfulness at West Ham, and Frank Lampard's non-celebration after rescuing a point for Manchester City against former love Chelsea. Plus, there's a bumper European round-up, including an 8-2 win for Real Madrid, an 83-metre screamer in the Bundesliga, and news from our friend Michiel Jongsma from benefoot.net about the strange goings-on at Alkmaar amid tales of Marco van Basten's poor health.

Tuesday also means Gabriele Marcotti's musings. This week, Gab is gabbing about Pellegrini, Mourinho 'spar' after draw; Real's misleading win; Milan's spirit.

Chelsea. They're a sketchy, club, right? Even if you support them, you have to admit it. Abromovich, right? Well, David Conn has got this going on today: Chelsea stake in third-party ownership leaves Premier League on shaky ground -- TPO has been banned in England since the Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano furore but not, it appears, at Chelsea.

We've got Third Round Capital One Cup action today. Arsenal host Southampton, Liverpool host Boro, and Swansea host Everton, among others. Here's a wee preview.

We've got La Liga action today. Real Madrid host Elche (bless you). Here's a wee preview.

We've got Serie A action today. Empoli host AC Milan. Here's a wee preview.

We've got Bundesliga action today. Giants Bayern Munich host league-leading minnows SC Paderborn, and Werder Bremen host Schalke, among others. Here's a wee preview.

Woop! That's it.

Onward!!

-SSN