Newcastle Lose, Champions League Previews, Scribes, Podcast, Kaká Making Bank in Orlando

No argument here...

Hello, Tuesday! Things are getting back in order here and it's a good thing, too. We've got loads to get into today, beginning with last night's match in England. More woe for Pardew as Newcastle succumbed to Stoke. The clock is ticking for the Newcastle gaffer. Stuart James was at the Britannia where Peter Crouch got the lone goal. He's got a good touch for a big man...cough.

The Champions League is back, folks! And with it, some mouthwatering ties. Manchester City vs. Roma, PSG vs. Barcelona (The Zlatan is hurt, sadly), and Sporting Lisbon vs. Chelsea catch the eye. Let's bust some previews:

Ronaldo and Messi take aim at Raul's UCL scoring record

Michael Cox: Key Battles

Five Things To Watch

Sporting Lisbon vs. Chelsea

Preview

Preview II

Andy Brassell: Sporting President Bruno de Carvalho returns CL to the Alvalade

Dominic Fifield: Sporting’s remorseful Islam Slimani intent on wounding Chelsea

Manchester City vs. Roma

Preview

Preview II

Richard Jolly: Hart vows to fight for Pellegrini's trust

Adam Bate: Timeless Totti

PSG vs. Barcelona

Preview

Sid Lowe: Xavi Hernández set to make Champions League history

Neymar vs. David Luiz

Unfortunately, while Shakhtar Donetsk play their first home Champions League game of the season today, the match against Porto won't be in Donetsk, but more than 600 miles to the west, in Lviv. War. What is it good for?

Kaká is going to play in Orlando. We knew that already, but it's still terribly weird. For $7.17 million, though, it's not too difficult to digest. Here's more on the MLS salary insanity. Oh, and Bird's current Power Rankings.

Look at my beautiful watch. It would go nicely with a white suit...

Podcast! On today's Football Weekly, AC Jimbo has Barry Glendenning, John Ashdown and Michael Hann in the studio for a rip-roaring look back at the Premier League, where Chelsea brushed aside Aston Villa, the North London and Merseyside derbies ended all-square, and Wayne Rooney received the sixth red card of his career. Also in the podcast, we look forward to the midweek Champions League games with a bit of help from Sid Lowe, and also get up to speed with the Championship, where Kit Symons steered Fulham to their first league win of the season, but new Leeds boss Darko Milanic didn't fare so well.

Time to Scribe, yo! Let's travel the globe! Let's get it on!

Where? Spain. Who? Sid Lowe. What? Atlético's 'beast' Simeone is back

Where? South America. Who? Tim Vickery. What? Copa America Centennial an additional strain on players

Where? South America. Again? Yes. OK. Who? Tim Vickery. Again? Yes. OK. What? Time for a Brazilian football revolution

Where? Germany. Who? Uli Hesse. What? The original Bundesliga superstar

Where? Germany. Again? Yes. OK. Who? Raphael Honigstein. What? Schalke on high after Dortmund win

Where? Russia. Who? Adam Bate. What? AVB turns it around at Zenit St. Petersburg

Where? Italy. Who? Paolo Bandini. What? Lighthouse derby illuminates Serie A

The L.A. assGalaxy are having a great year, apparently. So great, that Grant Wahl says they're on course for a historic season! Take a look.

And finally... Inter Milan won the Champions League in 2010. None of the 18 players in the squad remain. Where are they now?

Onward!!

-SSN

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