Bale Scores, Genoa's Spying Coach, Monday Night Football

We'll begin our week with The World's Most Expensive Footballer. Señor Bale didn't waste much time getting his first Madrid goal. Yes, he scored on his debut. But did he play well? Dominic Fifield made the trip to Villarreal and submitted this report.

So suave...

Back in England, there were no real surprises as Ashley Young took another dive, Fulham were frustrating, DiCanio screamed bloody murder and was sent to the stands, and Torres was worthless in Chelsea's loss to Everton. Here's a review. Best of the Weekend? OK. Speaking of the Everton/Chelsea match, what a great game. The last 30 minutes were enthralling. Phil McNulty was at Goodison Park.

Of course, there are loads of things to discuss. Here are 10 to get you off and running. Oh, and five...thoughts.

Meanwhile, with the Champions League on the horizon, Louise Taylor penned a piece for The Observer on Saturday and said, "Rafael Benítez feels new club Napoli embracing the spirit of Liverpool." It would appear that Rafa is enjoying his new lease on life over in Italy. Hard to fathom it being more difficult than his terrible time at Stamford Bridge.

Did you know that Ricardo Clark plays in Houston? Neither did we. Here's a look back at the weekend's action in Major League Soccer.

"What? Me? Just chillin'..."

A press release from Sampdoria after they nabbed a Genoa coach (above) spying on a training session. Hilarious:

That the derby is a question of nerve, tactics and strategy we already knew, but frankly we could never expect that it could turn into an scene of espionage.

Like Rambo hidden among the branches on the hill, Luca De Pra, Genoa goalkeeping coach and man of noble footballing ancestry, failed to overcome Sampdoria’s intelligence and counter intelligence operations.

However, no prisoners were taken, and no blood was shed. Once tracked down and caught red-handed, the opposing side’s soldier was let free to return to base. You should always forgive your enemies, as nothing annoys them more.

You really can't make this shit up. Perhaps Genoa gained some vital information from the commando mission because they defeated their neighbors with ease. Elsewhere, Inter and Juventus drew, a Balotelli penalty in injury time got a draw for Milan at Torino, and Fiorentina drew. Here's another wrap. 

In Spain, Madrid drew (see way above) and Barcelona won a thriller against Sevilla. Grab some popcorn: Here's your slideshow.

There is Monday Night Football. Tonight. Monday. Night. It will take place in Wales. Swansea, to be specific. Liverpool will be there. You can check out all the drama at 3pm EDT on NBCSN.

Right. Keep it Tite.

-SSN