USA Defeat Nigeria, Argentina Defeat Uruguay, Premier League Fixtures, More FIFA Fun, Vidal DUI

Si vas a manejar, no tomes, Arturo...

Hey now! Hump Day has arrived! And the U.S. Women have arrived in the next round of the World Cup as group winners. That's a good thing. Wouldn't want to have to face Brazil in New Brunswick! Let's get caught up.

Women’s World Cup — What we learned on Day 11

USA 1 - 0 Nigeria: Caitlin Murray in Vancouver

USA 1 - 0 Nigeria: Three Things We Learned

USA 1 - 0 Nigeria: Three Things We Learned II

USA at the Women's World Cup: What we learned from the group stage

Jeff Carlisle: Morgan's presence boosts USA

Group C: Japan edges Ecuador, Cameroon shocks Switzerland

Louise Taylor: England face Colombia with uncertain World Cup future ahead of them

Eniola Aluko Column: World Cup critics, Colombia and Kirby

Women's World Cup: Group E Previews

Women's World Cup: Group F Previews

Oh, dear. Gore Arturo Vidal wrecked his Ferrari. And the fuzz say he was under the influence of alcohol. Yikes.

Fixtures!! Can you believe we get rolling in the Premier League on August 8? Neither can we. Here is the complete list of 2014-2015 Premier League Fixtures. And here's what we've got on Day One:

8 August 2015: Arsenal v West Ham United, Bournemouth v Aston Villa, Chelsea v Swansea City, Everton v Watford, Leicester City v Sunderland Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur, Newcastle United v Southampton, Norwich City v Crystal Palace, Stoke City v Liverpool, West Bromwich Albion v Manchester City.

U.S. Open Cup? Shit hit the fan in the match between Seattle and Portland. Seattle finished with seven dudes! Check it.

The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

Copa América. Tonight it's Brazil vs. Colombia. Neymar vs. James. Yesterday, Sergio scored to help Argentina beat Uruguay, and Paraguay beat Jamaica. Tim Vickery thinks Argentine gaffer Martino's shrewd tactical tinkering helped Argentina pip Uruguay. He's correct.

Backheel Breakfast

Did you hear about those photos of Villa starlet Jack Grealish? Apparently he was passed out in the street in Tenerife. We didn't pay much attention because we don't really care. Marina Hyde agrees. We like it when Marina Hyde agrees with us.

More on the Croatian swastika fallout? Here.

Headline of the Day: Swiss investigating 53 cases of possible money laundering at Fifa

We out!

Onward!!

-SSN

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