La Liga Returns, Bundesliga Returns, Premier League Previews, Balotelli to Liverpool, The Joy of Six, Mackay's Sick Texts

And there goes another week, Peeps! Mario Balotelli is back in England, this time with Liverpool. Yes, the Reds have ditched one crazy forward and found themselves a suitable replacement. Will he thrive or will he go bonkers? Before the move is finalized he has to agree to behave. But it'll happen. Italian expert Paolo Bandini thinks Liverpool may be just the place for Mario Balotelli to get back to basics. We shall see. Here's the question, though: Why is it always them?

Mario's back to lead the line at Liverpool...

The summer is finally over in Spain where La Liga kicks off tomorrow. Sid Lowe has a season preview and explains the oddity of the fact that Atlético Madrid are the Champions yet also underdogs. Here's another fun little preview worth your time. This weekend in particular? Oddly, the Spanish Super Cup has to finish this afternoon. Leg One finished 1-1 between Real Madrid and Atlético Madrid. Those two teams will begin their league season on Monday. Here's a preview.

In Germany, it's pretty much Bayern Munich vs. Borussia Dortmund. Those two sides stand apart from the rest of the league. Raphael Honigstein has a season preview and thinks Dortmund can defy the odds and challenge the might Bayern. This weekend in particular? Here's preview. Bayern Munich actually begin things this afternoon against Wolfsburg. Uli Hesse has a piece on the hilarious history of the Bundesliga opener. And, of course, since the Bundesliga is back, everyone's favorite Schalke supporter must make his return, as well. Welcome back, buddy!!

We've missed you...

Back in the Premier League, you'll have to wait until Monday for the biggie between Manchester City and Liverpool, but Everton/Arsenal, Tottenham/QPR, and Sunderland/Manchester United could all excite. Here's your mega-lot for the weekend in England (and Wales).

Premier League Preview

Team News

10 Things To Look Out For

Premier League Spotlight

Weekend Notebook

Paul Merson's Predictions

Lawro's Predictions

The Joy of Six! This week it's High-Scoring Football Draws. Enjoy the Joy.

The Weekend In Europe.

Barney Ronay on the Transfer Window and why we want it shut. Now. Make it stop!! Wait. Not quite yet: The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

And finally...Ex-Cardiff City boss Malky Mackay apparently sent texts like this:

He's not alone, sadly. No real surprise, though.

Enjoy the weekend.

Onward!!

-SSN

Real Madrid 1-1 Atlético Madrid, Besktas 0-0 Arsenal, Barcelona Transfer Ban Upheld, Americans Abroad, Bayern Munich Reveal Their Bus

Hump Day once again, Amigos! 

Things got a wee bit nasty over in Istanbul last night where honors finished even between Besiktas and Arsenal. Bilic was sent to the stands, Ramsey was sent off, Ba crippled Arteta, and someone threw a bottle at Arsene Wenger. Dominic Fifield made the trek out to the Ataturk Olympic Stadium and filed this report. Here are Three Points & Five Talking Points from the match. What? How did Olivier Giroud perform, you ask? Here's one of his finer moments from last night.

In other action, Bilbao and Napoli drew as well. Check this wrap of the Tuesday matches.

I'm sorry. Did you say you're Serbian?

Over in Madrid, James scored for Real Madrid and Raúl García scored for Atlético Madrid. Both goals were late in a tightly contested contest. Do you think Sid Lowe was at the Bernabéu to check out the action and provide his insight? Better believe that! And here are Three Points.

Erik Lamela. Remember that guy? Spurs dropped £30 million on the Argentine kid and he scored one goal last year. Jonathan Wilson says hold it right there, folks. He's still good and he's still young. Don't right him off just yet.

The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

Not cool, dude! OK? Totally not cool!

This: Barcelona will be unable to sign players until January 2016 once the current transfer window shuts, after world governing body Fifa rejected the club's appeal against a transfer ban.

Time to check in with the Yanks plying their trade outside of our fine nation. We've got two reports. One...and...Two.

Everyone loves own-goals! Here's a special one from the Everton Under-21s. Oh, dear...

And finally...THIS is how you unveil your official bus:

Onward!!

-SSN

Chelsea Brush Burnley Aside, Champions League Playoffs, Podcast, Suárez Promises Not To Bite, Spanish Super Cup

Turf Moor, Burnley, England

Howdy! Chelsea turned on the style and made their case with aplomb at Turf Moor last night. Burnley were simply overrun. Fábregas was Fábrulas and Diego Costa opened his account as Chelsea showed a panache in attack not seen since the Zola years. Daniel Taylor was there and filed this report. There's more, of course. What? Oh, you know, Five Things We Learnt, Three Points, Five Talking Points...

What's going on today? Champions League Qualifying! By virtue of their third-place finish in Turkey's top flight, Besiktas get the chance to reach the Champions League proper if they can defeat Arsenal in a two-legged affair. Arsenal finished fourth in England's top flight. Here's a preview of that one. Meanwhile, James McNicholas is worried about a frail Arsenal defence. They have a lot of injuries and such, apparently.

Elsewhere, Italy's third-place club from last year (Napoli) face Spain's fourth-place club (Atheltic Bilbao. James Horncastle says the pressure is on Napoli. Andy Hunter says Athletic stand by their principles. So there. Here's a preview for all of today's (and tomorrow's) action.

The Spanish Super Cup kicks off today, too. Normally, we wouldn't pay much attention to this pre-season La Liga affair, but as it's Real Madrid vs. Atlético Madrid, we'll cast an eye towards the Estadio Bernabéu.

Happy lads...

Tony Pulis resigned from Crystal Palace. Word on the street is Malky Mackay is going to be the new gaffer at Selhurt Park.

Manchester United. They were poor at the weekend, right? But were they really that bad? Paul Parker thinks they were.

Scribes! It's been awhile, and although we're not completely up to speed, we're going to try to throw something together. Spoiler: it's mainly Spain. Check it:

Where? Russia. Who? Jonathan Wilson. What? Crimean cup teams could cost Russia the right to host 2018 World Cup

Where? Spain. Who? Francesc Tomas. What? Barca look ready for the new season

Where? Spain. Who? Sid Lowe. What? Suárez finally makes Barcelona bow

Where? Spain. Who? Graham Hunter. What? La Liga's Top Three

Podcast! Another friend we've not seen in too long. Here: Welcome to the first Football Weekly of the season proper, in which James Richardson, John Ashdown, Michael Cox and Paolo Bandini look back on an opening weekend that saw Louis Van Gaal's reign at Manchester United get off to the worst possible start. After rounding up hard-fought wins for Manchester City and Liverpool, we move on to Arsenal, who now face Beskitas in a Champions League qualifier, before giving Aston Villa some credit for their victory over Stoke. And because you didn't ask for it, we also give you a bumper round-up from the Championship and even Scotland.

The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

Spain! Germany! Italy! France! What can we expect in '14-'15 from these places? What shall they offer us football freaks (and geeks)? BBC European Football Expert Andy Brassell is on hand with all the answers.

The United States! Weekend Review? Done. Major League Soccer's Best XI of Week 23? Done. Power Rankings from Jeff Carlisle? Done.

And finally...Landon Donovan said goodbye to The Crew.

Onward!!

-SSN

Swansea Shock United & Ashley Young Eats Bird Poop, PSV Say No Wi-Fi, Monday Night Football (Courtois To Start?)

Happy Monday! It's all Premier League as we await the start of the the other top European domestic competitions (no, France & Holland do not count). Swansea City provided Louis Van Gaal with a rough welcome as they emerged victorious at Old Trafford. Elsewhere, nobody looked particularly spectacular as Liverpool, Manchester City, Arsenal, and Tottenham claimed victories. Here's your lot:

Sights-Sounds-Highlights

Weekend Review

Playback

10 Talking Points

7 Truths

Heroes and Villians

Kammy's Weekend Review

Manchester United 1 - 2 Swansea City: Daniel Taylor at Old Trafford

Richard Jolly: Three Points: Liverpool vs. Southampton

Michael Cox: Evolution not revolution for canny Pellegrini’s Man City

Premier League Title Contenders: BBC pundits' first impressions

Team of the Weekend

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Yes, that looks to be poop going directly into Ashley's mouth...

Although we've started playing matches that matter, the Transfer Window will remain ajar until the end of the month. Will Manchester United splash the cash on Di María? What of Ezequiel Lavezzi? Radamel Falcao? It's all right here: The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One.

This is pretty great. PSV Eindhoven fans say, "Fuck Wi-Fi. Support the Team." Indeed.

There is Monday Night Football tonight! NBCSN at 3pm EDT. Burnley return to the Premier League and have to start things off by welcoming Chelsea to Turf Moor. Word is, Thibaut Courtois will start in goal for The Blues. What does that mean for poor Petr Cech? Preview. Preview II.

And finally...over in France things got a wee bit feisty after the PSG/Bastia match. Here's the Moment when Thiago Motta is attacked by Brandao. And has his nose broken...

Onward!!

-SSN