Good Day!

The big news going into the weekend is this morning's Champions League Quarter-Final draw. Manchester United and Chelsea will clash in a repeat of the 2008 final in Moscow that reduced our buddy John Terry to tears in the rain after United won on penalty kicks. The other match-ups are Tottenham and Real Madrid, Barcelona and Shakhtar Donetsk, and Inter Milan and Schalke. I'm not sure if the United/Chelsea matches will provide much in the way of entertainment for the neutral (except perhaps if the animosity boils over into some handbags), but Real Madrid and Spurs could combine for more open and attractive battles.

In other news today, Major League Soccer returns for real with a full slate of matches after the Sounders/Galaxy game that got things started earlier this week. As our MLS Expert Bobbie BS has justifiably complained, the expansion of the playoffs has done little to provide excitement about the regular season at SSN Headquarters.

Super Mario Balotelli is back in the news today for two reasons. The former is a wonderful video of him trying to dress himself and the latter is the red card he got to help his Manchester City side crash out of the Europa League. Liverpool are also out after Andy Carroll and his mates failed ot find the back of the net against Braga. My money is on either Villarreal or Porto for UEFA's second-tier competition. In Spain this weekend we've got the Madrid Derby, The Joy of Six is Goalkeeping Howlers, Dominic Raynor's Off The Ball features a hilarious stunt prior to the Bari/AC Milan match and much more!!

Onward!!

England: Battle for place in Premier League hots up

It will take a brave person to guess who will claim the Championship's second automatic promotion place as the final push for the Premier League and a £90m jackpot hots up. That is of course assuming leaders Queens Park Rangers go on to take top spot - Neil Warnock's side are 10 points clear of third place with nine games to go. But they face a possible points deduction if they are found guilty of charges relating to the signing of Argentine midfielder Alejandro Faurlin in 2009 and a contract extension last October.

Putting Rangers aside, there are five teams vying for second with just six points separating them.

Norwich City, Swansea City, Cardiff City, Leeds United and Nottingham Forest are all in the hunt and Burnley could throw themselves into the mix too if they win their game in hand.

Mario Balotelli Can't Dress Himself

England: Premier League Weekend Previews & Predictions

The Premier League retakes centre stage after a weekend off and there are some crucial clashes at both ends of the table. Sir Alex Ferguson will not be in the dugout when Manchester United host Bolton on Saturday as the Red Devils look to put more room between themselves and Arsenal, who go to West Brom. Chelsea and Manchester City go head-to-head in a top-four battle on Sunday while Tottenham face a London derby against relegation-threatened West Ham. In the lower reaches of the division there are many crunch games as rock-bottom Wigan host Birmingham, two sides level on points lock horns as Blackburn take on Blackpool and Wolves go to local rivals Aston Villa.

Preview

Team News

Lawro's Predictions

The Joy of Six: Goalkeeping Calamities

From Gary Sprake's Careless Hands to an unfortunate Brucie bonus, here are six keeping howlers.

Spain: La Liga Weekend Preview

Real Madrid head into Saturday's clash with Atletico Madrid in buoyant mood after ending their run of early Champions League exits. Barca, who are unbeaten in 26 league games, will be hoping to defeat Getafe not only for their title hopes but also for defender Eric Abidal, who this week was diagnosed as having a liver tumour.

Preview

Italy: Serie A Weekend Preview

AC Milan travel to face out-of-form Palermo at La Favorita this weekend defending a five-point lead over Inter Milan at the summit after 29 games. Inter host relegation-threatened Lecce on Sunday looking to make it nine league wins in a row at the San Siro. Napoli will try to consolidate third position in the standings when they take on Cagliari in Naples. The Azzurri are three points clear of in-form Udinese after last weekend's 3-1 triumph at Parma. A win at Fiorentina on Sunday could see sixth-placed Roma leapfrog Lazio in the standings, while Juventus will be out to end a five-match unbeaten run when they host Brescia in Turin.

Preview

Friday MLS Forecast

First Kick may have already come and gone in two markets after Los Angeles' 1-0 victory at Seattle on Tuesday, but the remaining 16 teams will finally relegate training camp to the rear-view mirror by starting their seasons this weekend.

Sid Lowe: Real's relief at quarterfinal berth

Jose Mourinho was fighting a losing battle Wednesday night. Not on the pitch, but off it. Real Madrid finally won a knockout tie in the Champions League, the competition that it likes to think it has a hold of and the one that certainly has a hold over it. After six years of failure, it finally reached the quarterfinal, a huge roar greeting the final whistle as it defeated Lyon 3-0. By its own measure -- and the European Cup is the team's measure -- the biggest club of all had stopped being a big club at all. Now, at last, it is back.

Arsenal's Arsène Wenger and Samir Nasri banned for one match by Uefa

Tottenham Hotspur's first-team coach, Joe Jordan, has also been handed a one-match suspension for incidents in the match at Milan. Jordan clashed with Gennaro Gattuso, who was given a four-match ban for head-butting him.

UEFA Europa League: Thursday Review & Reports

All three remaining British teams crashed out of the Europa League as Liverpool and Manchester City failed to overturn first-leg deficits and Rangers were beaten by PSV Eindhoven.

Review





Liverpool 0 - 0 Braga (agg. 0 - 1)
Paul Wilson at Anfield

Manchester City 1 - 0 Dynamo Kiev (agg. 1 - 2)
Richard Jolly at Eastlands

Dominic Raynor: Off The Ball

Off The Ball never rests in its mission to scratch around the underbelly of professional football to find the most bizarre, humorous and inexplicable stories.

This week, AC Milan manimal Gennaro Gattuso swaps fighting for dancing, Argentinian model Milena Hot gets naked for the All Boys, Spurs' shirts go space-age, Bayern coach Louis van Gaal pretends to be a journalist and Ronaldinho shows he has still got it.

UEFA Europa League: Final Eight Draw

Champions League Draw - Quarter-finals
Real Madrid (Spain) v Tottenham Hotspur (England)
Chelsea (England) v Manchester United (England)
Barcelona (Spain) v Shakhtar Donetsk (Ukraine)
Inter Milan (Italy) v Schalke 04 (Germany)

Champions League Draw - Semi-finals
Inter/Schalke v Chelsea/Man Utd
Real Madrid/Tottenham v Barcelona/Shakhtar

Quarter-finals: April 5, 6 and 12, 13
Semi-finals: April 26, 27 and May 3, 4
Final: (Wembley): May 28

Raphael Honigstein: Loss to Inter exposed four main problems for Bayern

After 188 minutes of wildly entertaining, at times outrageously open football Tuesday, it all came down to Bastian Schweinsteiger's tired legs. The Bayern Munich midfielder failed to keep up when Goran Pandev started running from the halfway line and could only watch in horror as the Macedonian smashed in the epic winner that sent Internazionale into the quarterfinals of the Champions League.

Three Newcomers Make U.S. Roster For Friendlies

Landon Donovan and Clint Dempsey head a 24-man roster as the United States brings in most of its top players for exhibition games against Argentina and Paraguay.

Players will start gathering Sunday in Cary, N.C., for training. The U.S. plays Argentina on March 26 in East Rutherford, N.J., and Paraguay three days later in Nashville, Tenn.

UEFA Europa League: Thursday Preview

It will be a fight to the finish as several top sides clash for Europa League survival. There will be proud Portuguese faces in the competition should all go as planned for Benfica, Braga and Porto. All three could go through to the quarter-finals to make the Iberian nation the most represented. Braga's 1-0 victory over Barclays Premier League side Liverpool left Kenny Dalglish frowning at their first European defeat under his charge, though the manager will feel confident of being able to overturn the deficit at Anfield. PSV Eindhoven will also be confident of their chances to make the quarter-finals, but will have to find their cutting edge after failing to finish any chances during their 0-0 draw against Rangers in the first leg. There will also be high drama at Villarreal as they La Liga side face off against Bayer Leverkusen holding on to a 3-2 victory from the first leg held in Germany. Last, but certainly not least, Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini will hope his men can overturn a 2-0 loss to Dynamo Kiev and roar back to a convincing victory.

Preview

UEFA Champions League: Best of the Round of 16

Goal of the round

Marcelo

The Real Madrid full-back got the ball rolling for his side against Lyon on Wednesday night in Spain, assuring Los Blancos' hoodoo in the last 16 came to an end. Marcelo played a neat one-two with Cristiano Ronaldo midway through the Lyon half and then glided through the opposition defence before getting his shot off under real pressure. Goalkeeper Hugo Lloris got a hand to it but could not prevent it finding the back of the net. A great solo effort which lifted the roof off the Bernabeu and sent Madrid on the way to a fine victory. There were a number of top goals in the second-leg ties, with Shakhtar Donetsk's Willian and Lionel Messi also catching the eye with superb efforts.

The Rest

UEFA Champions League: Wednesday's Reports & Analyses

Real Madrid 3 - 0 Lyon
(agg. 4 - 1)
Sid Lowe at the Bernabéu







Chelsea 0 - 0 FC Copenhagon (agg. 2 - 0)
Kevin McCarra at Stamford Bridge
Mark Lomas at Stamford Bridge

Paolo Bandini in Italy

Inter's players – especially Júlio César and Goran Pandev – made a lot of mistakes against Bayern Munich but are still the toast of Gazzetta, La Repubblica and Co.

Italian press hail César and Pandev after Inter's night of redemptions.

Fulham to unveil statue of Michael Jackson at Craven Cottage

Fulham's chairman, Mohamed Al Fayed, will unveil a commemorative statue of Michael Jackson at Craven Cottage at 12pm on 3 April to honour the friendship he shared with the legendary singer.

Jamie Carragher has done this to me before, says furious Nani

"If you ask anyone in football, anyone who has suffered a tackle like that, they are not going to accept an apology, especially as it was the second year running he took me out," Nani said. "He came to apologise after the game but I was not happy. It is the second time he has injured me. He always tackles like that. Before, he put me out of the game for two months.

The Madness of Jens

At the age of 41, Jens Lehmann could be about to return to Arsenal. First XI looks at some of his most memorable moments.

Wenger Agrees Lehmann Deal

Arsene Wenger has confirmed that veteran goalkeeper Jens Lehmann will come out of retirement to rejoin Arsenal until the end of the season.

MLS: Juninho scores as L.A. beats Seattle 1-0

New striker Juan Pablo Angel, starting centerback Omar Gonzalez and starting goalkeeper Donovan Ricketts all stayed behind in Los Angeles with various ailments. Angel was ill, while Gonzalez (shoulder) and Ricketts (hamstring) were injured.

It didn't matter. The Galaxy won their fifth straight match with Seattle in MLS play.

UEFA Champions League: Wednesday's Previews

Chelsea vs. FC Copenhagen
(agg. 2 - 0)
Preview I
Preview II


Real Madrid vs. Lyon
(agg. 1 - 1)
Preview
Preview II

Sir Alex Ferguson's Greatest Rants

"The young boy showed a bit of inexperience but they got him sent off, everyone sprinted towards the referee - typical Germans."
- Sir Alex on Rafael's sending off against Bayern Munich as United crashed out of the Champions League last season

"When an Italian says it's pasta I check under the sauce to make sure. They are innovators of the smokescreen."
- Sir Alex on the Italians

"If he was an inch taller he'd be the best centre half in Britain. His father is 6ft 2in - I'd check the milkman."
- The United boss on Gary Neville

"I'm no f****** talking to you. He's a f****** great player. Yous are f******* idiots."
- Ferguson on the media after he was criticised for signing Juan Sebastien Veron

The Rest

Remember the Don

Leeds United are celebrating the 50th anniversary of Don Revie's appointment as manager at Elland Road. Chris Harvey looks at his legacy...

UEFA Champions League: Wednesday's Reports & Analyses

Manchester United
2 - 1
Marseille (agg. 2 - 1)
Kevin McCarra at Old Trafford
Richard Jolly at Old Trafford
Daniel Taylor at Old Trafford
Phil McNulty at Old Trafford
Paul Wilson at Old Trafford




Bayern Munich 2 - 3 Inter Milan (agg. 3 - 3)
Report I
Report II
Report III

Sir Alex Ferguson hit with five-match touchline ban by FA

Sir Alex Ferguson has been banned from the touchline for Manchester United's next five matches and will have to watch the FA Cup semi-final from the stands after being found guilty of improper conduct at a Football Association hearing.

St Pauli: A socialist football club in Hamburg's red light district

Marcel Theroux goes in search of the rebel spirit of Hamburg's St Pauli football club, and finds fans fighting for the club's soul.

Cattermole Pub Ban Extended

Sunderland's Lee Cattermole has had his ban from every pub and club in the North East region of Stockton extended for a year after he attempted to get back into some of the premises.

UEFA Champions League: Tuesday's Previews

Manchester United
vs. Marseille (agg. 0 - 0)
Preview I
Preview II

Louise Taylor:
United wary of away goal

Phil Thompson:
United will go through

Kevin McCarra:
United can still fight on three fronts




Bayern Munich vs. Inter Milan (agg. 1 - 0)
Preview I
Preview II

Seedorf sees the changing face of European football

It is just short of 16 years since Clarence Seedorf got his hands on the Champions League trophy for the first time, part of a youthful Ajax side that seemingly had Europe at its feet for many seasons to come.

As we now know, things did not quite turn out that way.

Nikola Nikezic accuses Russian club Kuban Krasnodar of 'beating him up' to break contract

Nikezic also claims that, on March 7, the club manager invited him to the team's training base, where he once again proposed the player break his contract.

"After my refusal two strongmen came into the room and started to beat me badly, threatening me with maiming and demanding that I sign some papers," Nikezic said.

"It lasted for about 20 minutes. After that I felt myself completely exhausted and signed the papers."

Roberto Gotta in Italy

Sven Goran Eriksson and Fabio Capello should really be proud of themselves. Before anyone with a short memory wonders what's wrong with the opening sentence, let's get this right: as the only managers to lead a side from Rome to a Scudetto in modern times, they achieved an almost impossible goal.

Americans Abroad

Eric Lichaj not only started two more matches and played them in their entirety, but he also had his loan to Leeds United extended through the end of the League Championship's regular season. Lichaj was brought in as a temporary replacement for the club's first-choice right back, who is nearing his return from injury; however, the extension will afford Lichaj more first-team minutes for a team in the thick of a promotion hunt.

U.S. U-20 forward Conor Doyle earned a start for Derby County on Tuesday -- his first appearance in 10 matches -- and then came off the bench on Saturday to deliver an assist on the eventual game-winning goal off a corner kick.

A step down in League One, Mike Grella scored his first goal since being loaned to Swindon Town from Leeds, and Plymouth Argyle's Anton Peterlin made his first appearance since November in a rare start against Hartlepool United.

The Rest

Raphael Honigstein in Germany

Some of the Bundesliga's biggest clubs are in a race they really do not want to be part of.

Bayern, Hamburg, S04, Wolfsburg in running for most chaotic club award.

ROMA FINED OVER LASER BEAM POINTED AT LAZIO PLAYER

The decision was made by sports judge Giampaolo Tosel, who said the fine was applied because Roma Soccer Club supporters "repeatedly pointed a laser beam at the other team's goalkeeper.

Paolo Bandini in Italy

Roma won la stracittadina and kept up a sequence that has seen Lazio fail to win as the away side since 1998, a failure that may well derail their season at a crucial point.

Roma win and Totti marks an anniversary – but is Lazio's season over?

Sid Lowe in Spain

Barça dropped two points in Seville as a result of Frederic Kanouté's brilliance but Real Madrid fans should not get too excited yet.

Barcelona's blip means La Liga title race is back on. Just.

Uli Hesse in Germany

As I opened my local newspaper, the Westfälische Rundschau, this morning to check the main sports page, I hesitated for a moment and briefly thought I'd picked up the wrong edition.

Bobbie's Chicago Fire & MLS Predictions

Greetings Sanforders. The new season is here, complete with spotty TV coverage, week-long gaps in the schedule, some new teams, an even dumber playoff format and a bunch of new import stars. The KC Wizz changed their name to try to banish memories of their sole championship and Fat Tony Meola, Toronto ripped it all up and started over for the third time in 3 years, Jewel of MLS and NJ Soft Drink once again cornered the market on dumb rumors and condescending BS from management. Without further ado here are my predictions:

1. Fire management finds out that selling tickets on Groupon doesn't actually land you loyal fans.
2. Nobody starts trying until August.
3. Some new team enters the league and immediately claims to have the best fans in MLS and at the end of year will claim to have enjoyed the most successful inaugural season in the history of sports.
4. Toronto fans go ballistic when the team starts out mediocre and trash the stadium at least once.
5. Bruce Arena is still a fat prick.
6. NJ Sodapop talks to whatever young player is lighting up the league about how much more money they'll make in the NY media market and then tries to trade a bag of beans for him.
7. The Fire sign one washed up Mexican and/or Polish star in August to try to put some butts in the seats, and one former player from the El Salvadoran National Team who can't crack the bench.
8. Fire miss the playoffs after failing to win a single home game all year but Technical Director Frankie Klopas says he's satisfied with the progress of the team and Carlos De Los Cobos keeps his job.
9. A bunch of teams play in various CONCACAF cups and nobody cares.
10. As always I predict that a team with a losing record enters the playoffs in the wrong division as a 5 seed, gets hot and plays in the MLS Cup final.

Marseille rocked by striker arrest and manager row ahead of Manchester United Champions League showdown

Manchester United's Champions League hopes could be helped by a bitter rift in their opponents camp.

Old Trafford plays host to Marseille on Tuesday night, with the tie delicately poised at 0-0 after the first leg.

However since the sides met on the Mediterranean coast, the defending French champions have been rocked by the arrest of star striker Brandao and a subsequent disagreement between boss Didier Deschamps and president Jean-Claude Dassier.

Lost Leaders - The men who inspired Arsenal to 18 trophies in 22 years

Alan Hansen and Emmanuel Petit have highlighted Arsenal's paucity of leaders and winners. Telegraph Sport looks at six of the men who inspired Arsenal in their most successful period.

Italy: Serie A Weekend Review

AC Milan had Zlatan Ibrahimovic sent off as they were held to a shock draw at home to basement boys Bari at the San Siro. Napoli closed to within a point of Inter as they came from behind to win 3-1 at 10-man Parma. Roma revived their top-four ambitions with a Francesco Totti brace sealing victory over nine-man Lazio at the Stadio Olimpico. Fiorentina's late run into European contention continued as Juan Manuel Vargas scored the only goal at Chievo while Bologna took a giant step towards defending their Serie A status with a 1-0 victory at Lecce - Gaston Ramirez scoring in the 33rd minute.

Review

Sneaky death grip on opponent's crotch in Copa Libertadores

Aggressive and unwanted fondling is nothing new in sports, yet this incident from Wednesday night's Copa Libertadores match between Penarol and LDU Quito seems especially nightmarish. But maybe that's just because of the glorious sound effects.

Major League Soccer: 2011 Season Previews

Eastern Conference:
Red Bulls, Dynamo teams to beat

Western Conference:
RSL, L.A. head another deep field

Top 10 Breakout Players

Biggest Questions Facing Each Team

Preseason Power Rankings

Spain: Eduardo Alvarez's Weekend Review

On an enthralling Sunday evening, a brave, surprising second-half display by Sevilla brought some of the lost excitement back to La Liga. After a few seasons performing remarkably in both domestic and international competitions, this season's Sevilla appeared to have lost not only their uncanny ability to rebuild their side over the summer while remaining competitive, but also their unparalleled will to fight from equal to equal with the rest of the top-tier clubs. This match could very well put the Sevillistas back on the right track. Right before hosting leaders Barcelona this weekend, Sevilla's management had finally decided to let unhappy striker Luis Fabiano return to Sao Paulo FC for a meagre bag of crisps. The forward's evident desire to leave for the capital of flamenco dancing provided the main rationale for the decision, although the club especially wanted to avoid paying his hefty salary.

England: FA Cup Weekend Review, Reports, Analyses + Semi-Final Draw

Manchester United heaped more misery on Arsenal by turfing the Gunners out of the FA Cup with a 2-0 victory at Old Trafford. Although he named a team containing seven defenders, Sir Alex Ferguson's gamble was rewarded with goals either side of the interval from Fabio and Wayne Rooney. Earlier, substitute Lee Chung-yong earned Bolton their first FA Cup semi-final spot for 11 years with a late winner as they beat Birmingham 3-2 at St Andrew's. Manchester City edged out Championship side Reading to book an FA Cup semi-final clash with Manchester United next month and Stoke beat West Ham.

Review

Manchester United 2 - 0 Arsenal
Kevin McCarra at Old Trafford
Phil McNulty at Old Trafford
Paul Hayward at Old Trafford
Jim White: Arsenal bow to inevitable
Peter Fraser: Pride before the fall?
Alan Hansen: Arsenal desperate for a leader

Birmingham City 2 - 3 Bolton
David Lacey at St. Andrew's

Stoke 2 - 1 West Ham
Chris Bevan at Britannia Stadium
Stuart James at Britannia Stadium

Manchester City 1 - 0 Reading
Richard Jolly at Eastlands
Phil McNulty at Eastlands
Daniel Taylor at the City of Manchester Stadium

FA Cup Semi-final Draw:
Manchester City vs. Manchester United
Bolton Wanderers v Stoke City
Ties to be played at Wembley on 16 and 17 April

Sick chants, three arrests and four red cards ruin FA Youth Cup clash between Liverpool and Manchester United

The bitter rivalry between Liverpool and Manchester United marred an FA Youth Cup game at Anfield when away supporters chanted songs about the Hillsborough and Heysel disasters.

There were three arrests for drunkenness and six United supporters were ejected in a chaotic quarter-final.

The Big Interview: Gary Lineker

In many respects an interview is not unlike an internet date. You read about the person you're going to meet, and form some advance impressions – but everything still rests on those first few minutes in each other's company, when you find out if you're going to connect.

If this interview really had been a date, I think I might have made my excuses and slipped away quite quickly. Gary Lineker is every bit as handsome as you'd expect – and friendly, in a polite sort of way, with a smooth and winning smile. But you'd be tempted to suspect that he'd been put up to the meeting by a mate, for beneath the smile he wears the unmistakable expression of someone who is only here on sufferance, willing to do whatever necessary to meet his obligations, but no more than that.

The Fifth Official

Few of us like Monday but The Fifth Official does, for it brings with it a chance for him to point the finger and laugh. Here he pulls out the pretty, the puzzling and the downright pig-ugly from a week brimming with potential victims.



Tasty, yes, but you can't really cut anything with it...