El Clásico, Let's Talk About Cesc, Kuwait Kickboxing Ref, Lawro vs. Joe Montana, Ronaldo's Boys Underwear Competition

Err...

El Clásico! El Clásico! El Clásico! Why is it such a big deal? Amy Lawrence, could you please ask Sid Lowe and get some answers? Yes? Cheers. The match can be viewed mañana in the USA on BeIN Sport at 12pm EDT. Here's Sid's preview of the Clash of Titans. And let's toss in a Top Ten Clásico Moments while we're at it. There will be other matches in La Liga this weekend. Hard to imagine, we know, but it's true. Here's a bit more on that.

SSN pal Ryan T. is over in Barcelona for the match and took this lovely shot earlier today. Wanker...

Back in England the big ones are on Sunday. The Tyne-Wear Derby takes place at the Stadium of Light and Manchester City travel to Stamford Bridge to face Chelsea. Here's all you need to know:

Weekend Preview

Weekend Preview II

10 Things To Look Out For

Lawro & Joe Montana's Predictions

Paul Merson's Predictions

Classic Tyne-Wear Derby Moments

The Big Interview is Cesc Fábregas and Sid Lowe is asking the questions. Outstanding. Let's talk about Cesc.

Good times in Kuwait!


Football Weekly Extra? Yes, please! Plump up a cushion, because we've got another cracker in store as Barry Glendenning, Simon Burnton and Iain Macintosh join AC Jimbo for the latest Football Weekly Extraaaa. We start with all the action in the Champions League, where Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored four for PSG and Cristiano Ronaldo bagged another brace for Real against Juventus. Now, if only these two supreme players and their egos could go head-to-head with a place at the World Cup up for grabs...Next we look forward to a big weekend in the Premier League, including the Tyne-Wear derby and Manchester City's trip to Chelsea, and manager-less Crystal Palace's game with Arsenal. Plus, there's our friend Sid Lowe looking ahead to El Clásico, a bit of Scottish football, and a magnificent discussion about swashbuckling.

Just because...

No real biggies in Italy, we're afraid. Here are some briefs of all the fixtures, nonetheless. You need to stay informed, after all.

We'll finish this week with one last look at Fergie's book. The Dirty Tackle has assembled a list of Who Hates Sir Alex The Most Right Now.

Go Forth And Conquer.

-SSN

Russian Racists, The Zlatan Strikes, Holloway Sacked

Good grief. Man City's win in Moscow was overshadowed by racist chants from CSKA fans. Of course, the club say "nothing special happened." What does that mean, exactly? Assholes. At least City won the match. Elsewhere, their Manchester rivals United won at Old Trafford. Richard Jolly was there.

We've been treated to loads of extraordinary goals already this season. Over in Belgium last night, The Zlatan scored four against Yank Abroad Sacha Kljestan and his hapless Anderlecht. The Zlatan's second and third are, frankly, absurd. Enjoy:


Back at the Bernabéu, Ronaldo did his best to keep up with the Swede's heroics by scoring two himself as Real Madrid downed Juventus. Sid Lowe was there and filed this report. Thanks, Sid!

This is a wrap of all of yesterday's Champions League activity. Let's talk about ten things of note from this latest round of the top European club competition, shall we? Excellent. Cheers.

Sorry, Ian, but you're fired.

As we assumed on Tuesday, Ian Holloway's bald dome was the first head to roll in the EPL this campaign. Dominic Fifield says he leaves dispirited Crystal Palace a tired and resigned man. No arguments from anyone here at SSN Headquarters. Rumors have it that Palace want Tony Pubis. Oh, dear...

Right. What else? Yes. There's another Champions League going on at the moment. CONCACAF has it's own little affair featuring the top clubs in the region. It allows teams like L.A. Galaxy to clash with El Salvador’s Isidro Metapán. So...cool. Brian Straus is interested. Hit the link if you are as well.

Sticking with the United States, there is a new book and a new film that illustrate the passion surrounding the Seattle Sounders. Grant Wahl saw the film and says it's got some damn fine moments.

Since we've had so many great goals to enjoy of late, we'll conclude today with a collection of misses. Benzema had a nice one last night against Juve, and he gets things rolling. Enjoy.

-SSN

Chelsea Cruise, Arsenal Lose, Milan & Barca Draw, Today's Action, Gooch to QPR

Simply disgusted with his team's effort against Chelsea...

And a lovely Wednesday to you! Diving right into yesterday's Champions League action, we'll begin in Gelsenkirchen, where a professional display from The Special One's side provided a 3-0 away win over Schalke and the excuse for us to use that photo. Ahem. Poor lad. Anyway, Torres scored and Chelsea now sit atop their group.

Back in London, it was 1-1 and Arsenal were pressing for a win but Dortmund and Lewandowski had other ideas and nicked the three points with a late goal.

Jonathan Wilson says the loss revealed Arsenal's weaknesses.

Barney Ronay is more optimistic and says Olivier Giroud took center stage.

Phil McNulty wonders how Arsenal can learn from the defeat.

This is interesting.

Back at the San Siro, it was Turn Back the Clock Day as Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite (aka Kaká) and Robson de Souza (aka Robinho) combined for Milan's goal. Barcelona's came via (who else?) a fine finish from one Lionel Messi. 1-1 was your final score.

Here's a wrap of all of Tuesday's Champions League action.

Today we've got more matches (yay!) including Real Madrid vs. Juventus, Manchester United vs. Real Sociedad, Bayern Munich vs. Viktoria Plzen, and CSKA Moscow vs. Manchester City (they're painting the pitch green!).

Sid Lowe is on hand to let us know that it might be the ideal time for a nervy United to face a sinking Sociedad. And hey, just where has it gone wrong for Manchester United and David Moyes?

Gooch is back! He signed with QPR. Have fun with 'Arry, friend.

We'll conclude this Hump Day with more on Sir Alex. Jon Snow interviewed him. Check it.

-SSN

Champions League, Podcast, Fulham Goals, Scribes, Fergie Book

Mega Tuesday!

Good grief, there's loads on the plate today. Let's kick off with a look at last night's action in South London. Palace are in big trouble after Fulham hit them for four last night at Selhurst Park. Everyone at SSN Headquarters has money on Ian's head being the first to roll this season. Sachin Nakrani was there and filed this report. For video of the latest Goal of the Season contenders, hit the link below.

The Podcast. One of the things they discuss this week is the amazing goals we saw. Wilshere, Ibra, et al. But the piece was recorded prior to Kasami's ridiculous van Basten imitation and Sidwell's sick volley. This bit in The Guardian has all of the best, including the two from Fulham last night.

'Ol Red Nose is a writer.

Sir Alex Ferguson's novel is being released today. Here's the story: basically, when literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms. Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons...Wait! No! It's about Fergie's time in football. Non-fiction. Sorry. Here are 10 Things We Learned from the book. And 4 Revelations. And Best Bits.

Scribe Time!

Location: Germany
Headline: Bayer Leverkusen 'ghost goal' could prompt Germany to draw the line
Scribe: Raphael Honigstein

Location: Spain
Headline: Barcelona's stutter, Atletico's loss and Real Madrid's win mean the Liga title race feels unusually open
Scribe: Phil Ball

Location: Italy
Headline: Giuseppe Rossi guns down Juventus as Fiorentina party likes it's 1998
Scribe: Paolo Bandini

Location: Spain
Headline: Getafe's Pedro León on the way back to being Pedro León again
Scribe: Sid Lowe

Location: Brazil
Headline: Atletico Madrid striker Diego Costa could be 'one who got away' for Brazil
Scribe: Tim Vickery

Location: United States
Headline: Roma’s hot start leaves Michael Bradley behind; MLS expansion takes shape
Scribe: Grant Wahl

Kahn = Happy

There are some matches this afternoon. Mainly, AC Milan vs. Barcelona, Arsenal vs. Borussia Dortmund, and Schalke vs. Chelsea.

Here's a complete preview of today's action.

And here is what to watch during Matchday Three.

More? That's fine.

Major League Soccer just complete Week 34. It's almost over, folks. This right here is a recap of the weekend activity, along with some Power Rankings. Who is the most powerful, you ask? New York Red Bulls.

Ok. We're spent. Enjoy your Super Mega Grande Tuesday.

-SSN

Fiorentina, Roma, Arsenal, Bale, UEFA Playoffs, Monday Night Football

Well, Good Morning, Friends!

It's good to have club football back, is it not? Come on. It's so superior. We were treated to many a match of big fun this weekend. On Friday morning we were excited about Roma vs. Napoli. Our excitement was justified. Roma put a big-ass-twins-sucking-wolf-teets-stamp on the Serie A race with a strong win over Rafa's side at Stadio Olympico. They are now five points clear. You'd think that would be the story of the fixture date. If so, you'd be wrong. Everyone wants to talk Fiorentina instead. La Viola rocked Juventus 4-2 thanks to a hat-trick from Jersey Boy Giuseppi Rossi. Check the full Serie A weekend breakdown qui.

WTF!!?? Barcelona did not score a goal against Osasuna. Nil-Nil, it was. Elsewhere, Real Madrid ground out a win and welcomed Gareth back into the fold. Hit this.

Spurs fan rejoice..and the linesman pays the price.

In England, everyone is raving about Arsenal's goal-glut at the Emirates against Norwich City. While each of the four goals from the home side were crafted with deft skill, the first of the match is one that will be replayed over and over for years to come. Watch carefully, because you won't see this again for a long time. Or ever. Why? Because it's two back-heels, three one-twos, four first-time passes...and a volleyed finish. Elsewhere, 10-man Newcastle managed a draw with Liverpool, United allowed a late Southampton goal and drew 1-1, City had little trouble with West Ham, Chelsea courted controversy in their win over Cardiff City, and Tottenham cruised past Aston Villa. Here's your required reading:

Premier League Review

10 Talking Points

5 Thoughts
Best of the Weekend
Tactics Board

Garth Crooks's Team of the Week

Andros Townsend led Tottenham to a win at Villa as noted above. He's English. He's creative. He's quick. He's playing quite well. Phil McNulty looks at the burgeoning bandwagon.

In Major League Soccer, former Everton boxing legend Tim Cahill scored the fastest goal in the history of the league whilst standing in the shadows. Baby. It took seven seconds for the New York Energy Drink player to find the net against Houston. Here are Five Things We Learned from the weekend.




There is Monday Night Football tonight. And it's a London Derby! What? Oh, it's Palace vs. Fulham. Well, could be worse.

Finally, we'll finish with a brief return to the international side of the game. The draw for the UEFA playoff took place and either Ronaldo or The Zlatan will not be attending the festivities next summer in Brazil. It is: Sweden vs. Portugal, Iceland vs. Croatia, Ukraine vs. France, and Romania vs. Greece. The first legs will be played on November 15 and the return on November 19.

Do everyone a favor and make this week your best buddy, um kay?

-SSN