Thursday, September 01, 2011

SSN Exclusive: TSB's EPL Deadline Day Review

So the insane deadline day frenzy took place yesterday. Some used it well [Stoke], some used it out of desperation [Arsenal], while others fucked it up [Bolton]. Meanwhile Fergie sat watching with a big grin on his reddened chops. Here's a review of what teams did on the final day.

Arteta and Benayoun are adequate signings but Wenger lost Cesc and Nasri without getting any of his top targets. Santos is an improvement on Traore, but so would my Grandmother. Mertersacker is interesting. He probably knows more about defending than coach Pat Rice, but Rice probably has more speed and mobility.

Aston Villa
Hutton and Jenas. Not exactly signings to get the pulse racing. But that's what you get when your manager is Alex McLeish.

6 million for Scott Dann isn't bad business but what happened to the promises of signing Ronaldihno, Beckham and Raul? Yakubu is not quite what fans were hoping for.

The club, which has massive debts, played poker and lost. Come winter the money Spurs offered for Cahill will look very good. They did pull off the huge coup of signing David Ngog, though.

Personally I think Modric is overrated at 40mil, so rabbit-out-of-the-hat Meireles seems good business. Everything will depend on how well he teams up with Torres.

Ouch! Big debts, no one wants to buy the club, and now they've lost one of their best players. But at least they brought in Drenthe from Real and the unpronounceable Stracqualursi who was top scorer in Argentina.

Have taken a gamble with Bryan Ruiz from the Dutch league. Cottagers will be hoping he's more Suarez than Kežman.

Almost the perfect, albeit very expensive, summer transfer window, especially with the capture of Coates. Then came the 11th hour loss of Meireles to Chelsea. He brought some guile to the team, matching up well with Suarez, so could be missed. At least they're rid of Joe Cole and now have Bellamy to organize golf trips.

Man City
Award for the left field signing of the window. Its a shock Hargreaves didn't hurt his knee getting up from the table after signing the contract.

Used the final day to finallly bring someone in who isn't French. 20 year old Santon comes highly rated.

Hard to say because I don't really know anything about any of the players they've brought in.

If you're probably going down anyway, you might as well do so interestingly. Anton Ferdinand, Joey Barton and Adel Taarabt all managed by Neil Warnock should provide entertainment.

Kept Modric, but this only works out if he doesn't sulk for 12 months. Got rid of a lot of deadwood including the creepy David Bentley, but failed to bring in a defender. Parker is a solid signing, though.

Paid a lot for Crouch and Palacios but the signings make sense, fitting into the team's style. Rory Delap will be delighted he has something even taller to aim at. Deadline day used well again by Pulis.

Went for the scattergun approach all summer. Among all those signings there has to by a good buy. Right? The modest Bendtner should fit in better than he did at Arsenal and they got rid of Anton Ferdinand, which is always a bonus.

See Norwich.

If you're buying someone from Celtic [Shaun Maloney], you know your budget is limited.

West Brom, ManU and Wolves did nothing. Boring bastards.


Bobbie BS said...

Nice to see that the Gunners were able to replace Fabergas with a player 5 years older and a worse injury record who still has the coveted Barcelona DNA. Can't wait for the bullshit to start next summer after he has a decent year!

Julzy said...

twitter was a-twittering with the deadline drama. I had a moment (or many) where I feared arsenal would just let the window pass without a peep. and @jackwilshire seems quite excited about it all...

The Editor said...

Yes, I enjoyed following the tweets. Especially whomever raged on the idiot who started the Clint Dempsey to Arsenal rumor.