Blackpool, Kroos, Valencia, Luís, Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal, Judging Jurgen Klinsmann, Mike Magee's Day Off

Hello, Thursday! We took a little break yesterday because nothing is happening. Which is rather nice for a change. But we're back today to catch up on some transfer action and see what else is up. Enner Valencia has decided to terminate any chance of continuing his good World Cup form by going to play for Big Sam at West Ham. Oh, dear. Toni Kroos has decided that the chance to get close to Ronaldo is too exciting and has left Bayern Munich for Real Madrid. Chelski bought Filipe Luís from Atlético Madrid. The Louis van Gaal reign has begun at Old Trafford...like a rock. Here are all the rumors, speculation, lies, winks, and nods:

The Mill. Plus One. Plus Plus One. Who's Doing What in the Window?

The window is wide open.

Speaking of Louis van Gaal, Jan Molby claims the biggest issue the big Dutchman must solve at United is one of...identity. Just who are you, Manchester United? And wait, their new manager's name is actually Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal?! Interesting...

Major League Soccer made a funny little video, people. Their marketing team is working overtime trying to tap into that World Cup fever. It's Mike Magee's Day Off! Enjoy!

Blackpool are a club in big trouble. They only have eight players on the books at the moment. Seriously. Go ahead and meet them. They have a match in 23 days. Good luck, lads. It looks like League One beckons.

The time has come to judge Jurgen Klinsmann. The consensus around SSN Headquarters is that The Diving German did a fine job in Brazil. Not great, but fine. Kind of like a lukewarm bratwurst. It could be better, but it's still a brat. ESPN FC's experts have gotten together and offer their judgements here.

Juventus. The Old Lady. They've been back to their dominate best in Serie A of late. So why did manager Antonio Conte bail? James Horncastle checks in on the odd situation in Turin.

And finally... Mesut Ozil has announced that he will sponsor the surgeries of 23 Brazilian children (about £350,000). Nice gesture, bruh.

Onward!!

-SSN