Off The Ball never rests in its mission to scratch around the underbelly of professional football to find the most bizarre, humorous and inexplicable stories.
This week, Wayne Rooney is to be burned on a bonfire, a US General 're-educates' some over-zealous Aston Villa stewards, the Rome derby is deemed too scary for an eagle and Rafa Benitez speaks more wibble at Inter Milan.
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