The Mill has Chelski spending £100 mil, (presumably half funded by their sale of Andrei Schevchenko back to Milan), Sunderland £40mil, ManYoo £37mil, and Wigan £5 mil. That's certainly a foolproof plan to keep touch with leaders of the pack.
Fabio Capello is hoping to
lure Paul Scholes out of international retirement. Stevie Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Micheal Carrick and Joe Cole are all undoubtedly ecstatic at this bit of news.
Ever-grateful Dimitar Berbatov
wants a move to a Champions League club. Arsenal's dressing room has been short on moody divas since Henry moved to Barca; I think this would be a great match.
Silvio Berlusconi thinks he can fix Italy's stagnant economy by
buying Schevchenko on the cheap, getting him thirty goals and then selling him back to Chelski for £35mil.
Man City may be in the market for a new manager as
Thaskin Shinawatra refuses to back Sven. Perhaps Thaskin just needs to find a new way to motivate his manager; I suggest he fly in a few of the interrogation specialists he employed at his last job light a fire under the Swede, either literally or figuratively.
Aston Villa are contemplating a
raid on Fiorentina's toy box.I say fuck off you Brum bastards, La Viola's prime talent isn't going to trade a spot in the Champions League for the chance to snort herion with Zat Knight.
Ca$hley Cole wants to
end his career at Chelski. Sure thing buddy, the next time somebody offers you a penny more than you're making now you'll feel that you've been disrespected by your current employers.
Newcastle are set to offer Michael Owen a new contract. I wonder what Sven would tell a journalist posing as a Saudi tycoon about this?
